


Where Your Heart Lies

by Thatskasterborous



Series: Where Your Heart Lies [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Culture Shock, Eventual middle earth, F/M, Fix-It, Kili in the modern world, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, We're finally in middle earth now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2019-10-23 13:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 167,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatskasterborous/pseuds/Thatskasterborous
Summary: Their worlds had merged momentarily, reality shattering at a single point. The walls of the two worlds melting together until something broke through. 20 year old Leah Orrison was camping with her Mother when an unexpected visitor crashed into their camp site. Now she has to deal with the fact that Middle Earth is very real and that there is a very real dwarf who needs her help.





	1. That Original Lifeline

“So lower level schemas are the ones that organise all the sensory information like sight, sound, touch… you see?” he paused briefly as if to assess if we were fully engaged with the subject. We weren’t. I don’t think anyone was really ‘here’ for a 10 am lecture about memory and schemas. Our bodies may have been there, but our minds certainly weren’t. “Okay…well then, higher level schemas are the ones that identify these lower schemas as fitting their low-level slots” good old Andy Robinson droned on.

He tried his best, but his soft Scottish accent always made me want to drift off. He’d have more hope as an ASMRist on YouTube than as a university lecturer in my opinion. I often gave up trying to concentrate; which was what had happened in that moment too. As I looked around I saw others not paying attention either. People were on Facebook. People were texting. A couple people in front of me were attempting to forge their friend’s signature for the register: with varying degrees of success with each try. And I swear I could see someone drawing Freud attached to a burning pyre. It was pretty good .

Sighing, my hands drifted towards my notebook and flipped it to a blank page. Not to write notes mind you, that would be silly, who writes notes during a lecture? Most of my notes consisted of doodles or little sentences like ‘Hello my name is Leah and I’m very bored’. I grabbed the edge of the page and gave it a little tug. ***KKKRRT***. several people turned around at the sound and my face started to burn. Shit I didn’t think it would be that loud. I ducked my head to avoid peoples stares and pulled more slowly this time. *kkkkrrt*. Most people turned back around, and my page finally came free. Nice, now it’s time to origami this bitch. I folded with the mastery of someone who does this far too often in her lectures. After about 20 minutes I had a wonderful little zoo on the go. Look at my boi’s. I picked up one of the frogs I’d made, he was particularly stumpy. _You’re my favourite you shall be called Mortimer._

Soon I even lost interest in the origami and by the end of the lecture I had resorted to messing with my hair. Multiple braids lined my long blonde hair. Dutch braid, French braid, fishtail, whatever I could think of to keep my hands busy. I must have looked a bit odd, but it got me through the last 10 minutes without crying.

“Right, I think we’ll leave it there,” Andy mused “we’ll pick up the exciting topic of schemas next week.” Several people had already packed up and left by time he’d said the last word.

Quickly, I ran my fingers through my hair to remove the work I’d done there. Now I looked like a fully functioning student rather than a gremlin. Slowly, I made my way out of the lecture hall. People were moving at a snail pace or stopping to chat to friends. I managed to keep all my comments to myself about people’s slowness and finally escaped. The entry hall outside was filling up quickly so I made my way outside. The fresh air was crisp and cool, a stark contrast to stuffy lecture theatre. I breathed in deeply. Feeling invigorated. Fresh air and being in nature always made me feel better.

“Leah! Over here!” A voice shouted from behind me.

I turned to look and saw a young woman vigorously waving at me to get my attention. Her braids were piled neatly in a bun on her head and she was wearing a bewildering amount of yellow. The yellow did pair perfectly with her dark skin though. “It’s me bitch get over here.”

Anika. who else would it be? We’d been best friends since the start of highschool. We were both tiny year 7’s trying to navigate our new school and we’d clung to each other to make sure we didn’t get lost. Both of us were in the same classes and we’d bonded over a shared trauma of sorts. Our families had both been involved in car accidents when we were very young. Not the same one mind you, that would have been a very strange coincidence. No, Anika and her brother Isaiah were 3 and 5 when their parents car had skidded off the road. It had snowed really badly and the roads had frozen over before any gritters could get there. Anika’s dad had braked too hard and lost control of the car. The car had then crashed into a tree. Both her mum and dad had died in that accident. Anika and Isaiah had been staying with the neighbours while their parents were out. With no other family to take them in they’d ended up in the foster system. Luckily they had managed to stay together and now lived with a massive family. 8 children altogether. Only two of them were biological kids the rest were either adopted or fostered.

My car accident was different as I was actually in the car when it happened. Other than a few scars from the accident I’d survived. My dad and brother however. They did not. I try not to think about it usually. It was nice that I’d found someone who understood what it felt like.

A grin formed on my lips and I shook my head at Anika’s antics “I’m coming, i’m coming chill out” I said as I meandered through the crowd towards her.

“Well i’ve been waiting forever, I needed you to hurry up” Anika mused, she threw her arm around my shoulder and guided me away from the psychology building.

Anika was over half a foot taller than me and had a penchant for high heeled boots. This resulted in her towering over me, which amused her to no end. Then again it wasn’t hard to be taller than me. I was only 5 ft 2. Considering my dad had supposedly been well over 6 ft and mum was not far off 6 ft herself you would think I’d be taller. Well I guess being in a car accident at 6 years old must have stunted my growth.

“Where are you taking me dude” I said as Anika continued to guide me past a copse of trees.

“Well considering your ditching me to go camping tomorrow” she gave me a pointed look and I raised my own eyebrows in response.

“Ditching is such a harsh word” I said with a laugh

“Well considering you’re leaving all this” she gestured with her free hand up and down her body “to go frolic in a tree, I think it’s justified”

It’s true, I had originally planned to stay at Anika’s accommodation at the weekend but my Mum came from out of the blue saying she wanted us to go camping. It wasn’t too strange as we tended to camp quite a bit. It was the abruptness of it that was a bit weird. When I’d asked her she just said that it felt like a good time to go. I just shrugged and went along with it. I knew Anika wasn’t really mad she just likes to be dramatic.

“I think we should go get some food or a coffee or something” She looked at me out of the side of her eye and a sly grin spread across her face “you can pay of course, as a tribute to the emotional trauma you have brought upon me” She placed the back of her hand against her forehead like a damsel in distress.

“Oh no such heartache I have caused thee” I brought my own hand up to my heart and bowed my head in mock sorrow.

We both descended into giggles and stopped in the middle of the path. People continued to walk around us on the way to the bus stop. No one really gave us a second glance, then again it was uni and most people didn’t really care too much about what goes on around them. I once saw a guy in a full 3 piece suit, a top hat and goggles and everyone just ignored him and carried on with their day.

“I’m kidding I’ll pay for myself, i’m a big girl now” Anika said

oOo

We carried on down the path until we reached the bus stop at the end. The bus was cramped and sweaty but we eventually made it into town. Anika decided on a coffee in the end. We ended up in one of the less crowded coffee shops and sat near the window. She had a mocha cocoa caramel frappe whip thing that looked like diabetes in a cup and I had a chai tea. Granted hers did taste a lot nicer than mine. I found it funny how we’d gone out for a coffee but none of the drinks we had could really be constituted as a coffee at all. Anika did in fact pay for her own drink and we spent the rest of the time talking about random stuff.

“I guess I’ll just have to watch the hobbit trilogy all on my lonesome then” Anika said around a sip of her ‘coffee’

We had originally planned on a hobbit marathon over the weekend. Both of us loved the stories of middle earth. The hobbit in particular always held a special place in my heart. I even had the lonely mountain tattooed on my leg with the quote “So comes snow after fire and even dragons have their end”. Anika preferred lord of the rings but we’d recently rewatched those so Anika had suggested the hobbit this time. My mum is the reason i’m such a big fan though. She’d loved Tolkien's works way before I did and had read near enough everything; the big nerd. I’d read the hobbit and the lord of the rings but I hadn’t managed the others. It didn’t really matter though because my mum would tell me random facts about the rest anyway.

“Arr” I groaned “I was looking forward to that, I’ve still only seen the last one once”

“I know I was there watching you crying in the cinema” Anika replied.

I gave her leg a gentle kick under the table. “That’s slander, I’ve never once showed a single emotion, I’m the pinnacle of emotionless” I said overdramatically

“Oh fuck off” Anika laughed “ You once cried at an advert about cheese”

“The music got to me okay” I said, pretending to wipe away a tear.

“Anyway as I recall we were both crying” I paused for a beat, and took a sip of chai “As well as my Mum actually, it was a very emotional event”

My mum had been with us to watch all the hobbit movies and had peppered us with trivia both before and after the film. She loved doing that. I did too though and often joined in, with Anika taking the brunt of it. Mum also liked correcting arseholes on the internet who were overconfident and spouting bullshit.

“Okay, okay we were all emotional” she succeeded “I remember Ellen getting upset over all the elves”

Ellen was my mum’s first name.

“Yeah, she’s a big fan of the elves” I replied. Also if i’m being honest I think she identified a lot with Thranduil’s plight. With the whole lost a spouse and raised a child on their own thing.

“Probably because she looks a bit like one, kindred spirits and all that” Anika took a sip of her drink “It’s funny how she ended up with a kid that’s more like a hobbit”

I gave her a scathing look at that and she started laughing. She reached over and patted my head “oh don’t worry shorty I’m sure you’ll still grow”

Slapping her hand away I replied “ Not freaking likely, I’m 20 now, my growing years are behind me” I would forever remain short and struggle to reach higher shelves.

We both returned to our drinks and were silent for a few beats. Anika sighed and reached under the table for her bag. It was a light brown messenger bag. The straps had frayed and ripped and she’d had to tie it together in a few places.

“Anyway, considering my bag is literally on its last legs I think I should buy a new one” she lifted it up to reveal a hole that had formed in the bottom “I can go look for one tomorrow”

“Will it be yellow by any chance?” I asked

“Are bears catholic?” she quipped back

“Does the Pope shit in the woods?” I returned in kind.

Ah malephors. I loved using them, I found them funny. It’s where you mash together two metaphors and it can completely change the meaning of them. Another one I liked is ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’. It just perfectly exudes the feeling of knowing you’re gonna fuck something up but you’re not sure how it will play out yet.

The table vibrated beneath my elbow. Reaching over, I checked my phone to see if was me.

“It’s mine” Anika said, already scrolling through her messages

Her eyes darted quickly across her screen and her smile got wider “Holy shit” she exclaimed

“what is it?” I asked

“This is gonna be amazing” She said, her glee visible on her face.

She seemed to be messaging other people as quickly as she could. I lifted my eyebrows hoping that she’d clarify, only for her to remain too engrossed in her phone. Sighing, I reached over and shook her arm “Bitch don’t leave me hanging”

“Sorry sorry I was just messaging Kyo and David” Kyo and David were two of her adopted siblings. She pressed something on her phone and brought up an image. Passing the phone across the table she showed me the picture. There was two people in the picture. First was a man with dark skin and a round face; he had glasses and a full beard. Isaiah, her brother. Next to him was a skinny man with shoulder length ginger hair and a pointed face.

“Who’s the ginge?” I asked

Anika reached over and took her phone back. “Do you remember how I said Isaiah was seeing someone, but he wanted to be all hush hush about it?” she explained. I nodded in acknowledgment. “Well apparently this is him, and his name is Sean. The best part is that he wants to introduce Sean to the family on sunday”

“Oh my god, you’re all gonna scare the poor guy away” I laughed, Anika’s family was mental and it could be very overwhelming if you weren’t prepared for it.

“It’s gonna be amazing, i’m gonna make sure that everyone of us is there when he comes round” Anika said, joining in with my laughter.

“That’s one way to welcome someone into the family”

oOo

We stayed at the coffee shop for another hour before we parted ways and I headed home. I didn’t live around uni, I decided to stay home and commute . I couldn’t bring myself to leave home or mum, we were all each other had with no extended family to speak of. It took an hour on the bus but i’d finally made it back to my house. It sat on the corner of the street and it backed onto a little wooded area. It was quite a sizeable house considering only the two of us lived there. That was because my dad, Theodore, had owned his own business before he died. That meant that we at least weren’t struggling financially as much as we were struggling emotionally.

I reached the front of my house and saw my Mum’s car in the drive. She must have gotten off work early. I Pushed my way through the front door and shrugged off my backpack. The stairs were directly in front of me and the living room sprawled out to my right. As I put my bag next to the coat rack I saw my mum in the middle of the living room. Music played in the background. She was surrounded by camping gear. It seemed to clutter every surface. There was a tent on the settee that ran parallel to the stairs. Sleeping bags, camping stove, pots and pans lined the other settee that was perpendicular to the stairs. Other assorted gear littered the coffee table. And there was my mother, checklist in hand, sorting through it all. Mum was always good at organising things. I guess it helped with her job as an event planner. You can’t really plan events if you’re shit at organising can you? No organising genes seem to have rubbed off on me though.

Mum looked up briefly from the camping gear and greeted me “Hello darling, I was just getting everything in order”

She had long, blonde hair that fell down the length of her back. Most of it was left down except for the one braid down the middle. She had a heart shaped face and her eyes were a storm grey. My eyes didn’t take after mum’s, I had blue eyes like my dad. I got her hair though, a more golden hue than my dad’s was.

“Is that everything were taking” I asked

She took a moment to reply, she was mouthing different items her free hand pointing to each one so she knew for sure it was there. “Er yes, pretty much” she looked around double checking “Our hiking boots are by the back door though, but we’ll put them on tomorrow anyway”

She looked down at her list before seeming to remember something. Lifting her head up, she looked in my eyes and pointed a finger at me to hammer in the point “Oh and you need to pack your bag as well, I’m not going to do it this time”

“I was going to anyway” I said, a little affronted “Anyway the only reason I asked you last time was because the way I’d packed it nothing seemed to fit in right”

I walked through the living room, past all of the camping gear. My foot caught on a stray tent pole and it nearly sent me sprawling. A small laugh escaped my mum along with a quick “Careful”. Correcting my balance, I carried on my way towards the kitchen. I shouldered my way through the kitchen door and walked towards the kettle intent on making tea. To the left of me, the toaster started popping and making noises on its own. It had been on the fritz for a good month now but it still managed to make toast so we hadn’t replaced it. Still, it can scare you half to death when you come down in the middle of the night and it starts freaking out.

I made two cups of tea knowing Mum would want one but was too busy to make one herself. Mum had now started placing things into bags and I put the tea down on the available space on the table.

“Oh thank you darling” mum said. Darling was her favourite pet name to use. I didn’t mind though, it was kinda charming.

She then picked up the cup and perched on the arm of the settee, abandoning her packing for now. She gently blew the tea before taking a sip. A small sigh escaped her lips. Her dress was a deep blue with a gold leaf pattern. Mum was quite stylish actually and I’d borrowed her clothes many times.

“So, you still haven’t explained the sudden urge to go camping” I said while finding a patch of floor to sit down on. I crossed my legs and placed my cup onto my lap, it’s heat permeating my tights.

Mum looked slightly bemused by me sitting on the floor but eventually said “Am I not allowed to be spontaneous?”

I raised my eyebrows at her. She was never really spontaneous, more at home with careful planning.

“Oh shush” she said, looking away from my gaze “To be honest I’m not really sure why I wanted to go camping, It just felt right”

I nodded, It seemed quite odd for my mum to say but I sort of understood. I felt really good about this trip, like it was going to be a good one. A moment passed where we drank our tea and occasionally sang along to the music. Well I sang, mum just hummed.

_I couldn't utter my love when it counted_

_But I'm singing like a bird about it now_

_And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted_

_But I'm singing like a bird about it now_

_Words hung above, but never would form_

_Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn_

_Remember me, love when I'm reborn_

_As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn_

My mum looked content while I sang, she always liked listening to me sing. Well maybe not always. I have been told off for singing too loudly in the shower many a time.

“What are we having for Dinner ?” I asked.

“Well I haven’t gone shopping yet so we’re just going to have to scavenge something from the cupboards” She placed her mug down on the table and got up from the arm of the chair. Tea break over, she was back to packing again.

“I’ll sort food out while you deal with all of this” I gestured to the mess around us.

We ended up just having some pasta and tomato sauce. After eating I went upstairs to pack my bag. I managed to get everything in it this time without needed the aid of my mother. While looking through my wardrobe I’d managed to find my wind up torch. It was quite a cool little gadget that used kinetic power instead of batteries to run. Fun and useful. With my bag all packed I placed it downstairs and got ready for bed.

oOo

_I was lost._

_It was so dark, so so dark._

_I was flat on my back, the cold, wet ground seeping all warmth away._

_There was blood._

_It was everywhere It was mine ._

_It hurt so much, make it go away, make it go away_

_I struggled to breathe but I had to shout, to find mummy and daddy_

_They could make it all go away_

_“DADDY” I shouted until my voice was hoarse_

_Suddenly a dark shadow loomed above me_

_All teeth and claws and shadow_

_It seemed to smile, then without warning it leapt towards me._

I woke up with a gasp, a sheen of cold sweat glistened on my skin. That stupid dream. It had been so long since it reared its ugly head. I’d thought it was gone forever. Then again recovery was never a straight line, there was always times where you slipped back. I took several deep breaths and tried to centre myself. After being in that car accident, my mum and I both experienced PTSD. We saw therapists to help us deal with the trauma. It took us a while before I could get into a car without panicking. It had taken Mum even longer before she could drive again. There are still little moments right before she gets in the car where she has to take a few deep breaths.

I remember telling my therapist about the dream. It had remained mostly the same over the years. There would occasionally be some differences. Like sometimes I saw my family lying beside me. The monster always got them though. My therapist had said that it might have come from me associating the man who crashed into us as a monster. He was a monster. At least to me. He was five times over the limit, driving a stolen car, when he had crashed into the side of us. Mum had been driving and Dad was in the passenger seat. I was sat behind mum and Lachlan, my twin brother, had been in the seat next to me. It was his side that was crashed into . Mum and I had managed to survive but barely.

Me and Lachlan had been inseparable; we were twins, we did everything together. Obviously we weren’t identical with us being a boy and a girl. However we were still very much alike. We’d often get mistaken for each other. Both of us shared our dads blue eyes but Lachlan had ended up with my dad’s platinum blond hair colour. He had been older than me by 11 minutes. Mum told me that he always made sure I knew he was older. Then he was gone and I was now the older one. And I always would be.

A few tears had sprung up in my eyes. Reaching up, I wiped them away with my duvet cover. Okay deep breaths Leah. In and Out. In and Out. Once my heart rate had calmed down and the tears had faded I made to get up. Not the best way to start the day. Determined not to be a bummer, when my mum had been so excited about this trip, I tried to slap myself out of it. I took a shower to clear my thoughts and wash away the last remnants of the dream. Music played in the background as I got ready and Mum peered around the door to ask if I was ready.

We were packed and ready to go within the hour. Mum had paused briefly at the car door, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply before steeling herself and getting in. There was quite a way to travel as mum had chosen a different trail than we usually went . This one being in a place we hadn’t been before. All part of mums sudden spontaneity I guess. That meant we had plenty of time for some music.

_That original lifeline,_

_Original lifeline._

_Hey, look up! You don't have to be a ghost,_

_Here amongst the living._

_You are flesh and blood!_

_And you deserve to be loved and you deserve what you are given._

_And oh, how much!_

_'Cause there's a hole where your heart lies_

_And I can see it with my third eye._

_And oh my touch, it magnifies_

_You pull away, you don't know why_

Being able to sing at full volume and not have to worry about annoying the neighbours always felt liberating.

We managed to make it to the trail within a few hours. The sprawling hills stretched on for miles. Trees climbed far above us, speckled sunlight bloomed atop the canopy. The leaves blew gently in the breeze, throwing sunrays across the ground. It felt like a postcard with how picturesque the view was. It was also a pretty remote location, our car was the only one parked there. Maybe mum had found a less popular trail.

Mum decided that we weren’t going to camp near the car and suggested that we hike for a while. This was all well and good except we had a lot of gear with us, namely the tent. Nevertheless she soldiered on. We took turns carrying the tent and helped each other to maneuver it over some steeper climbs. At one point we gave in and each took a handle, sharing the load between us. The air felt crisp and the sun was warm on my skin. Being outside is good for the soul.

As we trekked through the forest we’d occasionally stop and create something recognisable; these included piles of rocks or marks on the trees. This was because this wasn’t a well worn trail and we needed to find our way back. We’d walked for over an hour before mum seemed to make a decision. I’d suggested a nice spot about a mile back, it had nice flat ground and decent cover but mum said she felt there was a better one somewhere else. She also said she liked the walk. We walked on, climbing over a few tree roots, before we came across a small clearing. It wasn’t overly big and it was covered in wildflowers. A small river ran near it so the sound of running water filled the little meadow. It had a real twilight vibe about it.

“Here” Mum breathed in deeply “Here is perfect”

It took us a little while and a bit of swearing but the tent finally went up. I’d gotten whipped in the face at one point and mum had just laughed at me. Jokes on her though because she tripped over one the poles about 10 minutes later. Tent up, we decided to cook up some dinner. Finding the pots and camping stove we set about making some soup from the food we’d bought. Mum had brought some travel games, like draughts and playing cards, and we played those until it started going dark. I’d changed into some pajamas as it got darker. It was around 8pm and mum was besting me at 13 rummy.

“How do you keep getting such good cards” I said, shuffling through my own cards. None of them seemed to make very impressive combinations “You’ve got to be cheating”

Mum laughed “You were the dealer this time, how could I have cheated?”

She reached over and flipped over her cards. Three of a kind, Aca on a bike and she even had a back hand. I looked down at my own cards, I had two flushes and I couldn’t even make a third hand. So not fair. Mum marked her victories down on the piece of paper next to her. Her name had more ticks than mine did.

I reached over to reshuffle all the cards when I froze. A strange feeling had descended on me. My hair stood on end and the air itself seemed to crackle like electricity. I looked over at mum and confirmed that she was feeling the same thing. Opening my mouth to ask what was happening I heard it. A humming. Like a song, a song you couldn’t hear the words to but understood. I turned my head towards the sound, nothing through the trees seemed to be untoward. However, I felt a strange tugging sensation. Telling me to follow the song. _Come. Follow. Find us._

“We’ll go together” Mum said, shaking me from my stupor.

She must have felt it too then if she wanted to follow it. Mum found my wind up torch and lit the way in front of us. I got my phone and put it onto torch mode. Also, I wanted my phone in case i needed to call someone. No aliens are abducting me without a fight. We walked through the throng of trees, in a direction we hadn’t come from this morning. Moving through uncharted woods set me on edge. My heartbeat ringing in my ears.

The closer we seemed to get, the louder the song was. At one point I reached out and gripped onto my mum’s hand. She gave me a gentle squeeze in comfort and we carried on, her hand still in mine. It carried on like this until we reached an opening in the trees. When we stepped through the trees the song reached a fever pitch, a cacophony of sound emanating from the middle of the clearing. They got louder and louder until they broke of all at once in a mighty crash. Light exploded from the centre of the clearing and expanded outward. It’s edges looked like shards of broken glass floating in the air. Like reality itself had shattered. Quickly I opened my phone and tried to film it. If we were about to be abducted by aliens or something crazy like that then I wanted some footage of what was happening. The centre glowed so bright it hurt to look at. However it briefly seemed to dim as a humanoid shape filled gap. It felt like the whole world was holding its breath and then suddenly, what appeared to be a very injured man, fell out of the light.

Followed by an guttural growl, as something clawed and angry leapt out of the portal straight at us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction, I hope it's up to standard. I've wanted to write one for ages and I decided to say screw it and start writing one.  
> I admit I did tear up a bit writing the part about her twin. I'm a twin myself and if that bitch died I'd kill her lol
> 
> Songs  
> Shrike-Hozier  
> Third Eye- Florence + the machine


	2. Your pain is a Tribute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written since Christmas, uni life kicks your ass. But I still want to continue this fic. This was originally supposed to be a few paragraphs but it ended up being a whole chapter.

Kili-(Ered Luin- Middle Earth)  
It wasn’t the best of days. The rain slanted sideways and the wind could make your teeth chatter when it blew your way. Nevertheless Kili was determined and focused as he ventured out into the bad weather. Water dripped from his leather overcoat and made little pools below him as he walked. Mud clung thickly to his boots, meaning that he had to put more effort into picking his feet up off the ground. Even through the rain, the mountains behind him were still breathtaking. A subtle blue colour tinged the rock face, with swatches of grass and trees growing along it. It was home.

Kili wasn’t on his own on his traipse through a cold wet forest. A blonde dwarf trailed behind him, not quite as pleased to be out as he was.

“Tell me again” Fili paused briefly as he wiped water from his eyes “Why we are walking through the woods and slowly drowning in the first place”

“I’ve told you I need to practice as much as possible” Kili sighed, slightly annoyed, he’d told his brother multiple times now.

“I get that, but couldn’t we do that when it’s not raining” said Fili

Kili reached a hand up to his chest where his bow string lay. In one swift move he removed it from his back. He held it in his left hand. Thumb tracing the geometric carvings along its body. His right hand worried the bow string.

“I have to be ready for anything, rain or shine” Kili said, his voice nearly drowning out in the wind “I can’t give uncle any excuse not to let me go on this quest”

The quest. Uncle Thorin had announced it to them a couple of months ago. They were going to reclaim the dwarven homeland from under the dark rule of a dragon. Thorin had only entrusted a select few with this knowledge. He was so happy that he was included in that few. It wasn’t too long ago when Fili and him were pushed out of the room while the adults spoke about “Grown up topics”. Even though he was given the privilege of knowing about the quest his uncle was still hesitant about letting Fili and Kili join the company.  
Kili gripped the bow tighter. He had to go. This was his homeland. Even though he had never seen it he would do anything to take it back. He needed to prove that he was worthy enough to go. That involved trailing through the woods, in the rain, for some target practice. It wasn’t always going to be bright sunny days on this quest, he needed to adapt to all weather conditions. If he could show his uncle his skills with a bow then he’d have to let him join. 

Fili looked on at his brother, understanding painted his face. He could see where Kili was coming from, he just wished it wasn’t such a miserable day.

“Well then, when you put it like that it seems I should get some practice in too” Fili conceded. 

He then reached behind him and withdrew the sword from the scabbard on his back. With deft skill he twirled the sword in his hands. Water spun off the edges of the blade as it cut through the air.

“You practice with your bow and I’ll practice some of my sword drills” Both of them grinned at each other as they reached an understanding.

Kili decided to try some stationary targets to start off with. A branch of a tree, a knot on a trunk etc. Fili practiced his sword movements next to him. The dwarf moved his feet in well practiced sequences and swung his sword at key moments. Fili would call out different targets for his brother to aim at. If Kili hit the right target they’d both cheer and grin at each other. When he missed, Kili grumbled to himself and looked downtrodden. Fili would merely laugh and tell him not to be so disheartened.

This continued for a while, both of them working simultaneously on their own thing. Kili then decided that stationary targets were too easy now and he needed to attempt some moving ones. After all an orc won’t stand still for you when you need to shoot it. He informed Fili and his brother agreed to follow him further into the forest. They didn’t have to be too quiet as the rain mostly covered the sound of their footsteps. 

There weren’t too many animals around with the weather being as bad as it was. Most would be holed up somewhere waiting for the rain to blow over. Kili was still reserved to find something though. He held his bow up with his left hand. An arrow strung and balanced on his hand. He swung the bow in whichever direction he was facing as he scanned the landscape. Fili followed closely behind.

Just as they were ready to give in and head back a doe trotted into view. Quickly, both of them bent into a crouch behind a bush. Thankfully the deer hadn’t heard them and continued its slow trot across the forest floor. Kili held his breath, his body on edge. If he brought down a whole deer on his own his uncle had to see that he was good enough. Slowly releasing his held breath, Kili readied himself. Turning to look at Fili he signed, in Iglishmek, for him to follow but stay low.

They both got up from their crouched position but stayed low enough to be mostly covered by the brush. As silently as possible they followed after the doe. Kili kept his bow primed and ready. When the doe seemed to get wary, they would duck behind a tree until it settled down again. Kili kept second guessing himself about when he should take the shot. He didn’t want to miss and scare the deer off. 

The deer reached a small clearing. The ground was flat for a few metres but then dropped steeply down. It created a sheer drop of about 20 metres to the forest floor below. Kili decided that now was his chance. Though he needed to be careful, if he misjudged the shot he could send the deer careening off the edge. That would just end up with more problems. They would have to climb down and drag the deer back up. Too much effort.

He signalled for Fili to stay where he was and drifted off to the left. When he got to a tree with a wide enough trunk to cover him, he stood up to his full height. Bringing up his bow, he levelled it at the doe. He tugged the bow string back all the way to his cheek. His arm was straining with the effort and he grit his teeth. With both eyes open, the way his teacher Naifi had taught him, he aimed the arrow at the deer’s neck. The bow string dug into the grooves of his fingers. He breathed in slowly and on his out breathed he loosed the arrow. It whistled through the air and landed right at the juncture of its neck. The deer went down and landed on its side. Still firmly on the ground and not plummeting 20 metres down. He’d done it. A bewildered grin spread across his face. His arms reached up into the air and he cheered “YEAH”.

Fili joined him quickly. His arms circled Kili and lifted him up into the air. “ By Mahal Kili” he said as he put him back down “you downed it in one shot, that was amazing “

Kili couldn’t believe it either. “Just wait until Uncle sees it, he’ll have to see how useful I’d be”

“Of course he will Ki” said Fili as he reached over and clasped Kili’s shoulder. 

Fili then looked up towards the sky, still steel grey and pouring with rain. He frowned at the moisture hitting his face. Wiping the water out of his eyes he then looked over to the deer. “As amazing as that was I’m not looking forward to dragging that thing home with” he said nodding his head towards the doe.

“Oh we’ll be fine brother” said Kili, too excited to let that dampen his mood.

He separated from his brother and made his way towards his kill. The rain came down harder as he stepped out from under the cover of the trees. The deer was on its side with the arrow sticking upright. A clean kill. Getting down on one knee he gripped the arrow shaft and pulled. It came away with a bit of effort. He stood back up and wiped the arrow against his coat to clean the blood off. Just as he was about to place it back in his quiver something stopped him. A bad feeling washed over him. The hairs on his body stood on ends and it wasn’t because of the wind. 

He heard it before he saw it. A low, guttural growl cut through the clearing. It wasn’t a wolf. Its maw was mutilated, a huge chunk missing revealing the sharp teeth inside. Long strands of spittle dripped out of the hole. The fur was a mottled grey with patches missing and long pales scars ran down its torso. It was a warg. The kind that orcs ride into battle. Infinitely more dangerous than a mere wolf. It must have scented the deer. Now Kili was in its way. All of its muscles were primed and ready to pounce.  
“KILI!” his brother shouted and drew his sword with practiced speed. His voice shook and the fear in it was palpable.

This jarred the warg and it snarled loudly, showing off all of its deadly sharp teeth. It then jumped and bounded its way towards Kili. Kili’s blood turned to ice in his veins and his stomach dropped. Hastily, he fumbled with the arrow that still in his hand and took aim. He didn’t draw the bow string all the way back as there wasn’t enough time. The blood stained arrow soared through the air towards the warg. However the warg was clever and managed to jump to the side before as he shot. Instead of landing right between its eyes it embedded in its shoulder. This seemed to anger it more as it roared in agony. 

Fili was close enough to it now. With a roar of his own he swung his sword down onto the creatures back legs. He had just managed to clip its right leg. This didn’t stop the warg and it continued its trajectory. Kili tried to reload his bow, his hands grazed the feathers of an arrow in his quiver. It was too late though. The creature was already upon him. He attempted to jump out of the way, his arm raised his bow to strike the warg. But the warg got there first and its great maw clamped down on Kili’s arm. Its teeth cleaved into his arm with such strength. He felt his bone snap beneath its jaw. The bow, slipped from his now useless hand. Claws raked down his other arm. He didn’t even get a chance to cry out in pain as the momentum from the warg's jump had pushed both of them over the edge.

The last thing he heard was his brother yelling for him as he plummeted to his death.


	3. Caught in your own creation

Leah _ -(England-Earth) _

The Thing that leapt out of portal was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was a grotesque monster. I dropped my phone and screamed as it landed on the forest floor. It was snarling like some rabid dog. An arrow was lodged in its right shoulder and its left leg was bleeding. That didn’t stop it from moving with speed though. The monster jumped straight at us claws first.  I was frozen, eyes wide in terror. It was like every nerve in my body was firing, telling me I needed to do something. But it was like a crowd screaming in a hall, all of them shouting over each other. Contradicting each other. Echoing off the walls. I couldn’t think. 

Mum wasn’t in the same state as I was; she was moving. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of the top of my arm. With a surprising amount of force, she shoved me away from her. I landed several feet away, the suddenness of it buckling my legs under me. It was just in time too as not a second later the creature had launched itself through the spot that I was just standing in. The monster couldn’t stop its momentum and careened straight into a tree. A strangled yelp escaped its throat.

Falling over seemed to have knocked some sense into me. I was no longer frozen to the spot. I needed a weapon, fast. Something big enough to actually injure the thing. The monster had backed away from the tree now. Shaking its head as if dislodging something. 

I scanned the ground hurriedly, looking for something to hit it with. Thankfully, whatever that portal thing was, shone like a beacon. My eyes caught onto a large rock a few feet in front of me. I was just about to reach for it when Mum’s voice cut through the night

“No Leah. Don’t. Move” she said through gritted teeth.

I looked up, fear in my eyes, questioning why I couldn’t move. Then I could see why. The creature had recovered from its hit and was now growling, looking between Mum and I. It was deciding who it was going to go for. Any sudden movements might trigger it to attack. I held my breath, trying to anticipate its next move. Why wouldn’t the thing stop, it was already deeply injured

Then in a split second it seemed to decide. Its rabid stare burned into me and it made to attack. My heart was beating out of control, it was so loud in my ears I almost couldn’t hear anything else. ‘Holy fuck I’m gonna die’. This time I reacted, my body finally deciding on a plan of action. I hurled myself at the large rock and grasped in my right hand. It was almost too big to hold and had jagged edges. 

It was nearly on top of me. I could hear my Mum screaming from somewhere. With a cry and a guttural sound of my own I smashed the rock into the side of its face. At the same time its claws scratched down my arm, breaking the skin. I cried out at the burning pain. The rock had caught it in the eye. A deep gouge now cut down from its eye socket to the hole already in its face. A spray of blood escaped its wound, covering me in the process. 

The monster fell to the left with the force of the blow. I dropped the rock, my hands now shaking. Blood was blooming from the cuts down my arms. 

“Holy Shit, holy shit” I panicked. There was a lot of blood. Was my arm torn to shreds?

The thing staggered, trying to find its feet again. Before it could recover, my Mum was already there. She wielded a huge tree branch as if it was a mighty battle axe. Her eyes were set and determined and her mouth was open in an angry roar. Mum brought the branch down as hard as she could, bludgeoning the thing around the head. It was sent sprawling several feet away. 

“Go back to where you came from, monster!” Mum screamed, eyes like fire and re-brandishing her weapon. 

The monster’s demeanor changed. It was no longer primed to attack. Slowly it slunk backwards, away from my mother and her stick. Mum advanced on it, swinging the branch around to intimidate it further. I grabbed the rock again, with the uninjured arm, and launched it as hard as I could towards it. The rock missed it but it seemed to do the trick. The thing finally turned tail and ran. It ran straight back into the portal it originally came through. The centre of the portal moved like smoke as it hurled itself back through it.

We waited a few seconds but it seemed to have disappeared for good. The initial panic was over but now came the pain and the nausea. Tears stung my eyes and I brought my injured arm close to my body. It felt like I couldn’t get enough air in. 

Mum rushed over to me as soon as the coast was clear. She kneeled down next to me, her face awash with fear and concern. 

“M.m.mum” I stuttered “W. what was that?” My breath was coming out in gasps.

Mum reached over and grabbed my face with both of her hands. Her thumbs rubbed soothing circles over my cheeks.

“Shhh, whatever it was it is gone now” She lifted my chin up so that I was looking into her eyes “Now you need to take some deep breaths. In. and out. in. and out”

I did as she said, taking in heaving breaths. After a few breaths I was more in control of my senses.

“Let me see your arm” said Mum, her voice smooth despite the panic she probably felt. If mum was anything it was organised.

I looked down at my arm. Blood stained my pajamas, both mine and the monsters. Shakily I held my arm out to her. Now that I was slightly calmer I could see that it wasn’t as bad as I first thought. The blood made it look worse than it was. The gashes weren’t as deep as I thought they had been. 

Mum gently took my arm, her eyes assessing the damage. She seemed to come to the same conclusion as me as she said “ It’s okay Leah they aren’t too deep, though they will probably need some stitches.”

I reached out and hugged Mum as tightly as I could; while still being wary of my right arm. She clung back equally as tightly. We sat like that for a few moments, trying to find some semblance of calm. Mum whispered into my hair “we’re okay, we’re fine” and I parroted it back to her. We finally let go of each other when I felt like I could breathe normally again. It was at this point that a pained moan rang through the clearing. We quickly looked towards the middle of the clearing, the portal was still shining and below it...

Holy shit, in all the chaos I’d forgotten that a person had fallen out of the thing.  Another pained sound escaped the figure. If they weren’t conscious before they definitely were now. Mum and I both looked at each other briefly before clambering to our feet. I was a little shaky on my legs but at least they weren’t going to collapse from under me. My arm was still bleeding and it throbbed with pain. I held it close to my body, to protect it.

We slowly inched forward, still wary about our surroundings. Who knows if this guy is also a danger. “Do you think he’s hurt” I mused. A stupid question really, if they went up against that thing. 

The humming from the portal was still there. It had sort of been pushed to the back of my mind during the fight. Now though it was back with full vigor. The closer we got to it the louder it back. You could feel it in your chest, like when a firework explodes or you stand too close to the speakers in a club.

I reached the person first. They seemed to be human, 2 arms, 2 legs a head and all that. No monstrous features that I could see. He had long brown hair that had fanned around his face. Delicate stubble dusted along his chin. He seemed to be wearing very strange clothes. A long blue shirt, that I guess could be called a tunic. There was also a huge leather coat thing that geometric designs carved into it. And was that a quiver attached to his hip. The guy looked like he’d just stumbled out of a LARPing convention. He was also soaking wet as if he’d stood in torrential rain. But it hadn’t rained in a week.

He was now writhing in pain and gripping onto his left arm. There was blood stains down his arms and parts of his leather coat was in tatters. Quickly, I fell to my knees beside the man. I placed my good hand on a part of his chest that didn’t look injured.

“Are you okay? Can you hear me?” I implored.

His eyes opened at that. Blinking a few times against the light. He was awake at least. His eyes widened at the sight before him. Bright light and shattered glass floating in the air. His eyebrows rose up and his breathing quickened. If he stayed like that he would probably end up going into shock and that would be bad news. 

I shook him slightly, trying not to jostle his wounds. At this, his eyes darted to me and settled on my face. As gently as I could I told him “Don’t look at that, just keep looking at me”

He did as I asked, his breathing slowing down slightly. Perhaps seeing that he wasn’t alone was a comfort to him. He seemed to understand me; which was a blessing. I don’t know what I would have done if he couldn’t.

“Just ignore whatever the hell that is behind us” I gestured with my left arm “Because if we don’t we’ll probably panic and end up hurting ourselves more, okay?”

“O.okay?” said the man

Speech! We’re getting somewhere. I sat back on my heels slightly and motioned towards him. “Do you think you could sit up?”

He deliberated for a moment, looking down at his injuries. Then he moved his shoulders slightly as if testing whether he could move them without too much pain. After that he nodded slightly “I think so”.

Then he attempted to move, his face bunching up in pain. He put his right arm down to try and leverage himself up but this seemed to cause him more agony. Hastily, I reached across him and grabbed his right shoulder. Almost like a hug. Together we managed to get him into a vague sitting position. He rested quite a bit of weight on me and I had to shift my arm out of the way so it wouldn’t catch on his clothes.

It was in that moment that I realised that my mum wasn’t with us. Normally she would be taking control of the situation. That’s when I saw her. She was stock still and staring, transfixed by the portal in front of her. Her face was a look of pain and bewilderment. Oh god is it doing something to her. A strange, sad smile stretched out across her face and she reached out to one of the fragments floating in front of her.

“Is she okay?” said the man breathlessly.

“Mum, Don’t!” I shouted, what if it was dangerous?

She had already touched it by then. Her hands moved straight through it, as if it were a hologram. Nothing bad seemed to happen, thankfully. Curious, I reached my hand up to touch one. It felt like sand moving through my fingers. 

The everpresent humming then seemed to morph. It felt almost as if you were playing a song backwards. The shard in my hands then shot away back towards the centre. It was like the air was being sucked back into the chasm. With one mighty Woosh all the shards of reality seemed to knit back together. The cracks between the pieces glowing brightly before they seemed to melt back together. Until it looked like nothing was ever there. 

As this happened my mum collapsed to the ground and a heart wrenching sob broke free from her “Nooo!”

I had no idea what was happening or what to do. Why was mum breaking down like this. She had always been my rock. Mum had now grabbed the ground in front of her as if to steady herself. She was taking deep breaths, her eyes screwed tightly closed.

“Mmum?” I murmured, concern lacing through my voice.

At the sound, my mum seemed to snap out of it. Her eyes snapped open and her breathing started to normalise. She at back on her heels and turned towards me. Taking in me and the injured man I was currently supporting. Guilt seemed to paint her features.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay? Did it, did it hurt you?” I implored.

“Oh darling I’m so sorry” she said finally reaching me “I don’t know what came over me”

I was still anxious but glad that she seemed to be okay now.

“Right” said mum, clapping her hands against her knees “We need to get you back to the tent, the first aid kit is in there”

Mum shifted into gear then. She collected torch and my phone from where they had fallen. Winding up the torch a few times to generate some power, she lit the way. Between us we managed to drag the injured man through the forest. He was a lot heavier than I thought he’d be and he was actually quite short. At least an inch shorter than I was. Mum had to take most of his weight as I struggled with my injured arm.

When we got back to camp mum placed us both down near the tent. She found the first aid kit very quickly and methodically went to treat our wounds. Mine was treated first as mum said it wouldn’t take as long. Thankfully, mum was medically trained. She had been a nurse before she met my dad. That’s how she met him actually. Dad had broken his leg and mum was the triage nurse. Apparently he was still charming even with his leg broken in two places.

Mum cleaned my arm and bandaged it up. Then it was the injured man’s turn. Mum’s voice was very clear and calm as she explained what she needed to do. The poor guy stared with a befuddled expression but still let her tend to his wounds. He raised his eyebrows at mum’s first aid kit, seeming confused about its contents.  She bandaged as much as she could and create a makeshift sling for his arm. 

‘Oh god’ I just realised ‘We haven’t even asked him for his name, or told him ours’. 

I cleared my throat “I’m so sorry” I gestured to myself “My name is Leah” Then I pointed to mum “My mum’s name is Ellen, What’s yours?” 

“My name is Kili” he answered “and thank you... for helping me, I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there.”

Mum joined the conversation then “Can you tell us anything?, do you know anything about the light you fell through or what attacked us”

“And where did you come from?” I interjected. He definitely didn’t look like he was from around here.

He looked around then, as if seeing the area for the first time. His eyebrows drew together. “Er this isn’t Ered Luin is it” He stated.

Ered Luin? That sounded familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on why. Was it french?

I shook my head and answered back “No it’s not, we’re in a forest near Wales. I can’t remember what its called though “.

He looked concerned then “I’ve never heard of Wales before, is it near the Grey Havens?”

Both Mum and I looked on with equally blank expressions and shook our heads. “I don’t know where that is either” I conceded.

Kili was looking more and more lost. He shook his head and took a deep breath “Alright then, I think I should just start with what happened, we might start getting somewhere. I was out in the woods that surrounded my home, I wanted to get some target practice in”

That explained the quiver at his side then. But who has a bow and arrow in this day and age. Was he from the past or something? My mind reeled thinking about it.

“My brother was with me and it was raining. We ended up downing a deer “ A little smile pulled at the corners of his mouth at the mention of his brother and bringing down a deer. Then his smile faded. “We were celebrating and we didn’t hear it until it was already on us. A huge warg must have scented the deer”

Wait, warg?

“I managed to shoot it in the shoulder and Fili hacked at its back legs but it was too late and it ended up sending us over the edge of a cliff, then I woke up here and it was night time”

Warg, Fili, Kili. That just, that just can’t be right. Wait now I know why I recognised Ered Luin, It’s the Blue mountains home of the dwarves in Middle Earth.

“Holy Shit” I said under my breath “You’re trying to tell me that you’re a dwarf from Middle Earth”

“Well yes, isn’t it obvious” He said pointing to himself “And why do you say Middle Earth as If we’re not in it”

“Obvious? you’re not even that short” I exclaimed.

He looked back slightly affronted.

“That’s not possible” Mum breathed. Shaking her head.

It’s not supposed to be possible but none of us could deny seeing the reality shattering singularity that opened up in front of us. Is anything is possible now? Even fictional characters showing up at your feet. That couldn’t be right, there had to be another explanation. Maybe he was cosplaying and hit his head and then a great big portal sucked him up and spit him out. ‘Sure, that’s more believable’.

Mum and I shared a concerned look. Leaning forward, she looked into Kili’s eyes. Kili back away from the sudden closeness. “What are you doing?”

“I’m seeing if your pupils are dilated” she then reached up and probed his head “Do you have a head injury?”

“I don’t think so” He said his voice slightly muffled.

Mum sat back on her heels, leaving his head alone for now. “Okay, can you tell me who the current prime minister in?”

His face was awash with pure confusion “What’s a prime minister?”

Mum looked at me and then back at Kili. That wasn’t a good sign, he might have a concussion.  

“Kili, this isn’t Middle Earth or Arda this is just Earth, a completely different world” I said

“Another world...no that’s. no that can’t be... How?” He made to get up, looking like he wanted to flee. 

Mum reached out, her demeanor still calm despite the revelation. She put her arms on his shoulders to prevent him from getting up “Moving won’t help, you’ll just make your injuries worse”.

“Middle Earth isn’t real, it’s from a story” I said “You must have hit your head or something”

His face contorted with anger at that. “How dare you. how can you say my home isn’t real, of course Middle Earth is real” 

He sounded so scared I felt guilty for saying it. Mum’s soothing voice cut through before things could escalate.

“In this world, Kili, Middle Earth is a story, you are a story. No one ever thought that it was real. But you and that Warg showing up must mean that it is” She continued. 

Why was she encouraging him? surely that could do more harm if he did have a concussion. Kili stopped trying to get up and looked into my mum’s eyes. He looked so vulnerable in that moment. Like his whole life had just been turned upside down.

“What do you mean a story? How can I be a story?” Kili asked.

“A person in this world, wrote about the histories of yours. Everyone thought he’d made them up but apparently not.” Mum added “He wrote about the dwarves and about you...at least I think it’s you. Are you Thorin Oakenshield’s nephew?”

His eyebrows shot up but he nodded all the same. 

“Mum that’s not helping he needs to see a doctor” I implored

Mum quieted me with a look.

“Well how do I get back? I can’t leave my brother and my Amad, I need to get back” Kili blurted. 

Mum interjected then “ None of us know what’s going on right now okay. We are in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night and both of you are injured. We need to prioritise and not panic. If we try and look for a way back right now we’d could end up lost or hurt even more. Both of you need a doctor” Her tone left no room for questions “So we need to try and get out of this forest as fast as possible, Okay?”

Both Kili and I nodded. It made a lot of sense.

oOo

 

I went about changing out of my blood soaked pajamas. It was quite sad really, these were some of my favourite ones with Marvel heroes down the leg. Now they were ruined. 'I'll have to buy some more at some point'. I changed into my hiking trousers (the kind with a shit ton a pockets) and my sports shirt. My jacket thankfully had large sleeves and didn’t brush up against my scratches too badly.

Mum gave us all some water before we left as it was going to be a long trek. We would have to try and navigate the forest in the dark. It was hard enough in the day. Hopefully the little stone piles we made along the way would still be visible via torchlight.

Mum decided it was best to just leave the tent and to only take what could fit in our bags. I felt guilty about the littering but we just couldn’t bring a whole tent with us. Especially when we struggled getting it up here in the first place. I brought my bloody clothes with me though. We were leaving the tent, if we left blood stained clothes as well people might think it was a murder scene. If anyone ever found it that is, it was quite a remote spot. 

Kili, thankfully, could walk pretty much unaided. An improvement from earlier. However the bumpy forest floor was difficult to traverse. Both me and mum had a torch shining our way. But they weren’t the brightest of torches and could only shine a few metres in front of us. Every sound was heightened in the dark, I let out a scream when a particularly brave fox ran out in front of us. The whole situation was beyond stressful.

Sometimes we wouldn’t be able to find our little stone towers and I’d start panicking. However, surprisingly, it was Kili who came to the rescue. He seemed to be able to sense where they were. It was amazing. When I asked how he did it he gave me a pointed look and said “Stone sense, all Dwarves in Middle Earth have it” He emphasised the words dwarves and Middle Earth to hammer in his point. Maybe there was some truth in what he said I mean I would never have been able to find those stones in a million years. I still struggled to believe he was a fictional character though.

I breathed a happy sigh of relief at the sight of the car through the trees. We’d made it. Seeing the car made everything seem more sane. 

Kili settled against a tree looking astonished by the sight of the huge machine. If he was adamant that he was a dwarf then he probably had no idea what it was. I needed to explain it in terms that he would understand. A car could be rather startling if you had never seen one before.

“Kili” I said softly to get his attention. He turned to face me at the sound. 

“This is called a car” I pointed towards it. 

“It’s like a carriage, only it doesn’t need a horse to pull it” I paused briefly, thinking “It has a machine in it that pushes the wheels forward”

He looked at me like I was slightly mad “I don’t quite believe you, I’ll have to see it first,” he said with a small smile.  

I smiled back encouragingly. It was probably also a slight dig at me not believing him. 

We put all of our things in the boot, including Kili’s. The dude had a sword, a quiver of arrows and a wicked looking dagger! Kili didn’t want to give them up initially but mum convinced him that they were safer in the back. Reluctantly he let them go.  

We all clambered into the car. I decided to go into the back to sit with Kili. I helped him to fasten his seatbelt over his injuries before fastening my own. Kili messed with the belt secured against him chest.

“Leave it” I said “It’s for safety”.

Kili dropped it then and mum pulled off. Fear shone in his eyes as the car moved.

“Believe me now” I said, raising my eyebrows.

He let out a breathy laugh “I guess I do”. His fear now seemed to turn to excitement as he saw the scenery blur.

I’d never seen someone look so amazed by a car. My heart jumped a little at his astonished smile.

“I’ve never moved so fast before” he mused.

Steadily, we left the country roads and more civilisation was popping up. Even though it was dark you could still make out the shapes of houses. Kili’s face changed then to something more apprehensive. I mean, if he was actually a dwarf from middle earth modern day buildings would come as a shock right? 

“Okay, say you are a Dwarf from middle earth...” I started

“Which I am” He interrupted exasperatedly.

“Then you should know Khuzdul right?”

His face closed off slightly and he looked defensive “Of course I do, it’s the language of my people”

I decided I would test him, I knew a few Khuzdul phrases that I’d found on the internet. If he knew them then I may start believing him.

“Okay, what does ‘Du Bekar’ mean”

He paused, for a second he looked like he wasn’t going to answer then he said “It means ‘to arms’ it’s a battle cry”

Damn that was the right answer, I should try a harder one. One that wasn’t in the films.

“How about ‘abnamul tada abdakhizu’” Oh god I think I butchered that one but its the most complex one I know.

Kili’s eyebrows shot up, he seemed shocked and offended. “ It, It means ‘nice to meet you’ but how did you know that? the Dwarven language is sacred and a secret among all dwarves”

I shrunk slightly at his words. My heart in my throat.  I’d obviously insulted him which I had not meant to do. I hated offending anyone, I didn’t want him to stay angry with me.

“I’m sorry Kili, I shouldn’t have asked about Khuzdul” I said raising my hands up 

“It’s as my mum said, in this world the stories of middle earth are written into books, as well as the languages. I didn’t mean to insult the Dwarven people by speaking it.”

He calmed slightly, though he still looked concerned.

“So the language of my people is just freely available here, for anyone to learn?” He said, as if the words tasted bad

“I, I guess so. But hardly anyone does, probably only a handful of people actually know more than a couple of phrases”

He nodded at that and relaxed back into his seat.

“We’re nearly at the hospital now” Mum piped up from the front seat.

It took a while for us to find a parking space, the hospital was still busy even in the middle of the night. Oh god I hope we get seen quickly. Surely a bleeding wound is cause for speedy treatment. 

Mum warned Kili that the hospital was going to be a pretty big culture shock and that it may cause him to panic. She implored to him that he was perfectly safe and that nothing bad would happen to him. Also, she told him to leave the talking to us and if he said anything about his home or being a dwarf they may think he has a head injury.

Kili simply nodded and we made our way towards the A&E. The loud noises, bright lights and hospital smell wasn’t helping Kili stay calm. As soon as we entered his eyes went wide and he darted his head around everywhere. I placed a hand on his back and told him to breathe and that it was okay. He looked at me and nodded, carrying on after my mum.

Bleeding directly onto the floor seemed to work to our advantage as we were seen very fast. Mum quickly formulated a tale about renaissance faires and wild dogs. She told the nurse that Kili’s full name was Killian Dwarrow. Kili seemed amused by it.

My arm did need stitches and as it was caused by an animal I needed several shots and a course of antibiotics.

Kili had to have blood tests, an x-ray several other tests that I was unsure of. He managed all the tests surprisingly well considering how scared he looked. Apparently both his ulna and his radius were broken in his left arm. Though the doctor was more concerned about his x rays than merely the break. He said he’d never seen an x-ray like it and that his bones were surprisingly dense. The blood tests had a similar story too. The nurse told us that it was unlike any blood type and that it reacted strangely to the tests.

Mum somehow managed to deflect the doctors worries and Kili miraculously evaded secret government testing.

The portal, the stone sense, Kili’s Khuzdul and now his non-human physiology. I realised then that he must have been telling the truth. There couldn’t really be any other explanation. Oh my god. This must be a dream or something. How is The Kili from the hobbit actually in front of me? I’ve always wanted to go to Middle Earth, longed for it. But now Middle Earth had come to me. Mum had seemed to believe him straight away, without any evidence. How had she known?

I owed him an apology for acting the way I did to him. He must think I’m an arsehole for not believing him. In my defence though, this whole situation was outlandish. I walked up to his bed and sat down on a spare chair next to mum. His wounds were now stitched up and he was waiting to have his arm put in a cast. He had been given some pain relief now so at least he wasn’t hurting.

He looked up at me as I sat down. I looked down suddenly shy, my cheeks bright red. With a bit of courage I looked back up at him. His expression was slightly bemused.

“I need to say sorry” I said 

His eyebrows knit together “What for?”

“For not believing you, about who you actually are” I said the last part in a whisper so as to avoid wandering ears.

“So you actually believe me now? what made you change your mind”

“I dunno” I said, mumbling and shrugging my shoulders “Just an accumulation of everything I guess”.

“I accept your apology Leah,” He said with a small smile.

“I’m also really sorry again about the Khuzdul, I know how sacred it is to dwarves”

“It’s alright” he conceded with a sigh looking downwards.

Then he gazed back up at me, a mischievous look in his eyes “and anyway, your accent is terrible” He laughed, his whole face lighting up.

I couldn’t help but laugh along with him, even if it was at my expense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had a different draft but my sister bullied me and told me that my knowledge of injuries was shite, so I had to change it. It doesn't help that she is currently on a 3 day first aid course and technically knows better.
> 
> I've wrote more in the past 3 days than I did for my whole dissertation, that's mental.


	4. Hey Look Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not the most pleased with this chapter, I got stuck on quite a bit of the dialogue. I hope it comes off as humorous rather than extremely awkward.   
> Anyway, I've been putting out new chapters nearly everyday. I'm quite proud of myself. But I am going on holiday next week so I won't be writing.

Fili (Ered Luin, Middle Earth)

He had searched everywhere. Climbing down the cliff face, his hands had slid down the rain soaked moss. The rain was pouring harder now, bringing visibility down to nearly nothing. 

“KILI!” He screamed, he screamed until his voice was hoarse.

His brother, his baby brother. Where was he? 

When he had been thrown off the edge Fili’s heart had stopped. Blood was ice in his veins. He was helpless, as his little brother fell to his death. No! Not to his death. He can’t be dead, he simply can’t.This was his fault. If only he had gotten to the warg in time. He was supposed to be the older brother. Adad had charged him with protecting both Kili and their Amad before he had died. And now he had failed them.

When he finally reached the bottom to the valley below, he drew his sword. Kili had to be down here. Even with the rain he should have been able to see him. 

“Kili please, where are you?” he cried.

He swung his head around frantically. Looking in every direction. His long hair whipped around and clung to his soaked face. Fili could no longer tell if the moisture on his face was purely the rain or if tears hung there.

Out of the corner of his eye Fili could see something moving. He rushed over to it, his feet slipping through the mud. When he got close he stopped in his tracks. It wasn’t Kili. It was that ‘Thing’. He could see it twitching, pained whines escaping its mouth. The matted fur was now covered in blood and it’s limbs were broken at sharp angles.

Fili saw red. Teeth bared he lifted his sword above his head and swung. The blade arched down and cut through the beasts neck. Fili then repeated it. Again. And again. And again. Blood spattered up his arms, his face. But he didn’t care. The creature was long dead but he kept hitting it. It might have killed his brother.

He stopped abruptly, his arms shaking, a sickening feeling in his stomach. Fili was shocked at what he did. He’d killed animals before but never like that. Shaking he took several steps back. His breath was coming out in heaving gasps.

That’s when he saw it. A few metres away tangled in the grass. Kili’s bow. Fili rushed over, heart beating out of his chest. The sword fell out of his hands and he dropped to his knees. The wood was covered in blood. Kili’s blood. But he was nowhere to be seen. Fili picked up the bow and cradled it to his chest.

“KILI!”

There was no response besides the beating of the rain.

 

Leah (England-Earth)

As was standard in most hospitals these days, we had been there for hours. It was now light outside. They mainly kept us in to check on Kili, as the dwarf was quite badly wounded. Also with it being an animal wound I guess they were checking for infection. Didn’t make it any less annoying though. None of us had slept as Kili decided to make his appearance in the middle of the night. This meant that once the initial adrenaline rush had died away I was rather irritable and grumpy. That’s when mum told me I needed a nap. I grumbled back at her but realised she spoke sense. Kili laughed at my grumbling and told me he knew dwarflings that were less grumpy when they were tired. Rude.

I think I slept. If you could really call it sleep. Curled up on a chair next to Kili’s bed. I had a bed originally but as I was no longer a priority I got booted out of it. It made for some very awkward sleeping positions. And a very bad neck. Kili on the other hand was out like a light, snoring away.

We were still waiting for Kili to have his arm cast. Apparently they didn’t have staff available to do it during the night. Which meant that we would be here longer. Yay.

Kili woke back up again after a little while. He startled as he woke before he seemed to remember where he was. My heart went out for him. I looked over to where mum was sitting. her elbow was against the side table and her head rested in her hand. She must have managed to drift off at some point. At least she was getting sleep. 

“How are you feeling” I said, groggily. I was sat in the chair with my legs tucked under me, leaning my head against my hand.

“Better than last night” He said “How are you? that chair does not look comfortable”

I shifted then, stretching my legs and arms. Several loud cracks and pops came from my protesting joints “What would make you think that?” I laughed.

“I don’t think bones are supposed to make those sounds” he laughed back

“Then I am a marvel to mankind” I said still stretching.

Oh christ I ached so badly, I need a hot bath and a massage. Not that I’ll get any of those things presently. Unless Kili decided to volunteer his services with his one good hand. Not that, that would be _ weird _ in any way _.  _

Reaching up, I tried to run my fingers through my hair. It caught and snagged, pulling at my roots “Ow”

“Er, I think there might be some blood in it” said Kili.

“Eugh, that’s not fun” I groaned, dropping the strand of hair.

The last thing I needed was warg essence covering me. Yet here we were. Eau de warg, if you will.

“There’s still some on your face too” He pointed.

“What, where?” I asked, patting my face with my hands

I thought I managed to rub it off when we arrived. Before he could reply, I reached into my bag that was tucked under the chair. Sorting through I managed to find some face wipes. I grabbed one and just rubbed it all over in an attempt to get it all off. The wipe came away covered in light marks of dried blood.

“Did I get it all?” I asked, turning my face in his direction

“Almost, just come closer and I’ll point it out”

That involved moving and standing up which wasn’t at the top of my priority list right now. Then again neither was being covered in blood. Conceding, I edged closer. With his good hand he pointed towards my left cheek. His fingers grazing the skin. My skin tingled where he had touched it. This caused my cheeks to flush red. Though that wasn’t difficult, my cheeks tended to blush at the slightest provocation.

Kili then took the face wipe from me and wiped away the blood himself. “There I think it’s all gone now”

“Thank you” I said, straightening back up, begging my cheeks to return to normal. I hope he hadn’t noticed them, I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

“You’re welcome, My lady” he replied with a smile.

My eyebrows raised at that “My lady? I don’t quite think i’m lady material” I muse laughing softly.

“Is that not how you address people in this world?” asked Kili, curious now.

“100 years ago maybe, most people just say Miss or Ms now. If you’re with people you know then you just use their names I guess”

“I’ve got a lot to learn then” said Kili.

oOo

By the time the caster was ready, mum had woken up from her nap. Was caster the right word? Probably not, it made them sound more like a wizard than a doctor. Anyway, we followed the nurse who guided us through the maze of the hospital. Who designed this place, every corridor looked the same. This could be a bad horror movie in the wrong circumstances. Kili was looking bewildered too. He’d probably never seen such strange people and weird machines before.

The nurse sat Kili down in a small room. Mum got a chair but I had to hover awkwardly. The casting process was weird, I’ve never actually broke anything before so it was a first for me too. Kili was concerned about what the doctor was trying to do to him. However, she seemed very patient and explained each step. This seemed to calm him slightly. She also asked him what colour he would like.

“Colour?” Kili said, confused.

“For the cast” She explained “what colour would you prefer?”

“Err I don’t know” said Kili

I leaned over then, and asked him, “What’s your favourite colour Kili?”

“Blue!” He answered back, not missing a beat. His enthusiasm bringing a smile to my face.

So Kili managed to get a royal blue cast. The cast only came up to his elbow which allowed him some range of motion. Once it was all done we were finally allowed to escape. Kili got a few stares on the way out. It’s not everyday you see someone that looks like they stepped out of a fantasy book. People probably stared when we arrived too but we were all in too much of a panic to notice. We needed to get this boy some people clothes.

When we got to the car Kili confessed that the reason he hesitated when asked for a colour was because he was scared that this world would have different names for colours. I admit I giggled a little bit at that.

It was nearly midday by the time we finally left the hospital. However, we now had the journey home to contend with. As the trail mum chose was quite a distance away from home, we were now confined to the car for the next couple of hours. 

We did stop for food pretty soon into the journey. None of us had eaten since last night. Kili had to be nil-by-mouth until a doctor decided he wouldn’t need surgery. This meant a trip to McDonalds. The first food Kili would try from our world was going to be a McDonalds. Probably not the best advocate for Earth food. But it was fast and we were starving.

Kili seemed to have a vague idea about what a burger was but I don’t think it was called that in Middle Earth. Mum ordered herself a veggie wrap with fries and a strong coffee. I ordered two cheeseburgers with extra pickles. For Kili we decided to play it safe and order him a quarter pounder burger and fries. We decided not to risk getting him a fizzy drink just in case he didn’t like it.

Kili was very intrigued about the drive thru and marvelled at how quickly we got our food. That’s fast food for ya babe.

He seemed to enjoy his burger at least and devoured it in under a minute. Along with half of my fries. He made a face at mum’s veggie meal, mumbling about it not being real food under his breath.

At some point I decided that I wasn’t going to be on the road without some kind of music to listen to.

“Hey Kili, wanna see something cool?” I asked

“Cool? why would I want to see something cold?” Kili replied.

“Nooo, sorry it means like amazing or awesome” I said, reaching for my phone, it had about 20% charge left.

“Alright then show me something ‘cool’”

I asked mum to hand me the aux cord and plugged it into my phone. Pulling up the spotify app I started scrolling through my playlists. What should I start with?

“What is that?, It changes when you touch it” Kili inquired, his eyes wide.

I waved my hand at him “I’ll explain later, I want to show you something else first”

Ah that ones a nice one. I pushed play and the first few notes of ‘Nancy Mulligan’ started played through the cars speakers.

Kili’s mouth dropped open with a gasp, he looked around trying to find the source of the sound. “Music!” he breathed, a grin spreading across his face “How can there be music?”

I smiled back at him at pointed to my phone. As the song kicked in I joined in too.

_ I was twenty-four years old _

_ When I met the woman I would call my own _

_ Twenty-two grandkids now growing old _

_ In that house that your brother bought ya _

 

_ On the summer day when I proposed _

_ I made that wedding ring from dentist gold _

_ And I asked her father, but her daddy said, "No _

_ You can't marry my daughter" _

 

_ She and I went on the run _

_ Don't care about religion _

_ I'm gonna marry the woman I love _

_ Down by the Wexford border _

 

Kili loved it and asked for me to play more. It continued like this until we got home. He would listen to the songs, occasionally getting confused and flustered by some of the lyrics. I don’t think he’d ever heard anyone swear or sing about sex in a song. I mean I tried to choose songs that weren’t too bad but sometimes you forgot it was in there. His facial expressions at those songs did make me laugh. One song that managed to slip through was Whistle by Flo rida. I was too busy bopping along to notice at first.

 

Kili had been bopping along too, at first. Then suddenly he went bright red and he let out a strange, strangled gasp.

 

“He’s not talking about an actual whistle is he” said Kili.

Now I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t slept but it was as if Kili had said the funniest thing ever. I burst into laughter, actual tears in my eyes. 

“What is the man talking about Leah he can’t be talking about his.. you know? surely that’s not allowed”

“His penis?” I laughed, the word making me laugh even harder. 

Kili’s face was a picture. He seemed torn between shock and laughing along with me.

“Oi, none of that please, we don’t need Kili hearing that language right now” said mum while looking at me through the rear view mirror.

“There’s nothing wrong with the word penis mother, body positivity and all that” At his point I thought it was wise to continue “Would you prefer wang or love wand”

I had completely lost the plot. I was even snorting because I thought I was being hilarious in that moment. Having no sleep is one hell of a drug.

Mum then gave me a ‘look’ through the mirror. “You’re going to end up giving poor Kili a heart attack before we even make it home, you should probably sleep as soon as we get in”

“It’s alright it’s not something I haven’t heard before” said Kili

“What you’ve heard Lovewand before?” I said, wiping tears from my eyes.

“Of course not” said Kili, laughing along with me.

oOo

We got home around 3pm. I had calmed down somewhat by then. We crawled through the front door and dumped everything in the living room. All of us were too tired to actually sort it all out. Mum gave Kili a very brief tour. I could tell Kili had a lot of questions but mum told him she would answer them all after they’d slept. She showed him to the guest bedroom which was next to mine. Soon all of us were in our respective rooms, and I was out like a light.

_ I was running.  _

_ Trees zoomed past, their branches reaching out trying to ensnare me.  _

_ I could hear it. It was snarling like an animal. The headlights were blinding beacons. It was close, too close.  _

_ Without warning my body was falling through the air. I fell forward, sharp rocks cutting into my hand. _

_ I flipped onto my back. The car was barreling towards me.  _

_ Only, it wasn’t a car anymore. The headlights became eyes and the snarling became real. it had a mangled face and sharp teeth. I only had time to cover my face before it attacked. _

Gasping, I woke up from my nightmare. My arm was throbbing fiercely, the painkillers must have worn off. I sat up and tried to calm my racing heart. Great. Another nightmare to add to the list, how fun. I was more annoyed than scared to be honest. 

The room was dark and street lights shone through the window. It must have been past midnight. I had slept for a while then. Must have needed it. The sleep, that is, not the nightmare. 

Picking up my injured arm, I inspected it underneath the light from the window. My forearm was covered in white gauze. I nonchalantly ran my finger along the edge of the bandage. Underneath it there were four long gashes. It was definitely going to scar. I can add it to my collection. I mean you don’t really survive a car accident without some form of scarring. There were a few small ones on my arms and legs. However the biggest one was a rather nasty one across my stomach. Made me quite self conscious about wearing bikinis. 

I needed to get up though. There were painkillers thrown somewhere in the living room and I needed to harvest them.

With a groan I dragged myself out of bed and made my way down stairs. When I reached the bottom I realised that I wasn’t the only one up. Soft voices emanated from the kitchen. Light shining around the edges of the door. Curious, I moved closer so I could listen in.

“I need to” A voice pleaded. Markedly male. Kili then.

“I can’t in my right mind let you do that Kili” that was mums voice.

“But I need to find a way back, My family must think I'm dead”

“I know that Kili and I’m sympathetic but I know for a fact wandering out into this world on your own is not going to help you”

Wait was he trying to leave. Surely he could see that it was a bad idea, he knows nothing about this world. Fear shot through me at the thought of all the bad things that could happen to him.

“How do you know?” said Kili, his voice uncertain.

“I’m not sure how, I just know that something drew me and Leah to that portal last night. I planned the trip with no real reason, just felt like I needed to. Something in me knew I needed to be there. And I feel deep down that if another one of those gateways opened I would know. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I just do. So I think you’d have a better chance of getting home if you stayed here, with us”

I could sort of understand what mum was talking about. That idea scared the shit out of me. Why the hell was this happening to us? Surely there are other people more suited to handling inter-dimensional singularities. A physicist perhaps.

Kili was silent for a few seconds before agreeing “Okay, I believe you”

I chose this moment to let my presence known. Being an eavesdropper in my own house felt a bit weird. I pushed the door open and squinted against the light. Mum and Kili were by the back door. Kili was in his torn overcoat with his sword attached to his back. Good lord, if he went out like that he’d be arrested so quickly. 

The next thing I saw was a pile of twisted metal and plastic strewn across the floor. It took a moment before I realised that it was the toaster. It seems Kili must have had an encounter with the infamous faulty toaster. Must have scared him half to death.

“Not a fan of toast then?” I mumbled, pointing at the disembodied husk.

My way of breaking up the tension in the room, by saying something completely off topic. 

“Sorry” said Kili, sheepishly

“I think Kili was a bit spooked that’s all” Said mum “I assume you heard most of that then”

I nodded back at her then faced Kili “So you’re staying?”

Kili sighed deeply and said “I guess I am”

I smiled at him reassuringly “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be fun” 


	5. You are Flesh and Blood

With Kili now staying with us, we realised that he needed clothes. He couldn’t stay in what he had on. Fortunately, I had a penchant for overly large shirts to wear for bed. That meant that, for now, he had a clean shirt at least. 

A good wash was needed however before we could even think about leaving the house. We still had a layer of grime over us from the other night. I had to cover my bandaged arm with a plastic carrier bag though. Wet bandages didn’t make for healthy healing. Somehow I managed  to wash with one arm.

Then it was Kili’s turn. When I went to find him he was playing with the light switches. Off and on. A fascinated look on his face. He stopped quickly when I found him. Leaning against the wall as if he hadn’t been messing with anything. I told him to follow me and he did without protest. The guy didn’t seem particularly pleased about the plastic bag over his cast. Thankfully he didn’t try and take it off though. 

“Right” I said, “First things first, do they have running water in Middle Earth?”

“Of course we do we’re not savages” Kili mused.

My cheeks heated up at that. “Oh good, I won’t have to explain it then”

I then pointed towards the shower. “Do you have showers then?”

He paused briefly, in thought. “We do have something similar, but it is mainly richer dwarves that have them. Most dwarves just use communal bathing pools”

“Aren’t you considered a richer dwarf, Mr Dwarven prince?”

Kili’s eyebrows shot up “How…?” then a look of understanding took over “Oh right, I forgot you know things about me”

“Not everything” I said, turning back towards the bath.

Then I pointed out various soaps. “Body wash, shampoo”

“Sham- what” said Kili, confusion clear in his voice.

“It’s hair soap” I clarified

His mouth formed an ‘oh’ shape as he understood. “Well what’s that one then?” he said, pointing to a bottle of conditioner.

“Erm, also hair soap” 

“Why do you need so many, surely soap is soap” Kili asked, bemused.

I shrugged my shoulders “Well I guess this one cleans” I said pointing to the shampoo, “and this one just makes it soft” pointing to the conditioner.

“Right” he paused briefly, looking around the room “I think I’ve got everything now”

I nodded at him. Right, good, all sorted. Kili’s pointed cough then drew my attention towards him.

“You can leave now, unless you plan on watching me the whole time” He said with a suggestive smirk.

My cheeks flushed red. “Oh shut up, I’m leaving” I laughed, turning around to leave quickly.

By the door on a little stool was a towel and one of the shirts I was letting Kili borrow. I pointed them out to him before I left. He nodded, an amused grin on his face.

oOo

The shirt just about fit Kili. He may have been short but he was quite broad. He had shoulders for days. I couldn’t believe the size of his biceps. It was rather strange seeing someone his height being so jacked. Kili had to keep his own trousers though as we definitely didn’t have any of those lying around that would fit him.

I managed to find Kili an oversized hoodie that fit him. The first two we tried were a no go but the last one fit. He couldn’t wear his leather one because it had long gashes down the arms. Also, he would look rather odd with a fantasy-esque coat and an iron man T-shirt. Like a lazy attempt at a fancy dress costume.

I decided to wear a dress. To the shock of nobody. I had the tendency to only wear dresses and the occasional skirt ensemble. The only way you ever got me in jeans was by force. Dresses were versatile, it made you look as if you made an effort when in reality it was one tube of fabric I had picked up and threw on. This one was a sky blue with little birds on it

We were just about to leave and I was braiding my hair in the living room mirror. Kili was avoiding, looking at me. Seeming to be more interested in his cast. He was tracing his hand down the plaster and trying to wiggle the fingers that were bound. His hair hung in damp ringlets around his face.

“Do you want a brush?” I asked, extending the brush towards him.

“N, No, No thank you” He stuttered, his cheeks slightly red.

That was a strange reaction. I turned back to the mirror and resumed braiding my hair. It took me a few moments before a memory bubbled to the surface.

“Oh shit, I forgot dwarves have a thing about hair don’t they” 

If I was recalling correctly dwarves only did their hair in front of family and loved ones. They probably had a thing about sharing brushes too. So this whole situation was a dwarven faux pas. Welp, that’s awkward.

“Yes, we do” Kili conceded, a polite smile on his face.

“Well we can get you your own hair brush don’t worry” I said “I can do this somewhere else if its making you feel uncomfortable” I wiggled my half-done braid in his direction.

“No, no, this is your home, you shouldn’t have to move” he then pointed to the left “I'll... just look in this direction” his body then followed suit.

I couldn’t help but giggle a little at his antics. 

I finished my braids as quickly as I could so Kili would feel less awkward. My braids weren’t as neat as they normally were. It was a little bit difficult with my arm injury. Moving my fingers this way and that tugged on the stitches. It was probably best to take some painkillers before we left the house. Kili too. He seemed to handle pain well but occasionally I would see his face scrunched up with pain or release a sharp breath through his teeth. Thankfully the hospital prescribed us some stronger painkillers than you get over the counter.

Tying my last braid up, I turned to Kili. “I’m gonna take some hard core drugs if you want in”

His nose wrinkled and he tilted his head “What?”

“Medicine, would you like some painkillers?” 

“Ooh, yes please” he said, his hand ghosting over his shoulder.

I pushed my way towards the kitchen. Apparently they were there the whole time; not in the living room like I thought last night. They were in a white paper bag on the side. Mum was washing a few dishes by the sink. When I opened the bag mum had already poured me a glass of water.

“Aw thanks mum” I smiled.

I took two pills and washed them down with the water. Shaking my head and grimacing at the taste. I had took too long with the water and they had started to dissolve on my tongue. Eugh. Then I handed a couple pills over to Kili.

“Be careful not to chew them” I warned.

Too late. He had taken them off me and bitten down, too eager to wait. His whole face screwed up and he started coughing. Mum was behind him in an instant patting his back. I handed him the glass of water quickly. He took it from me and drank greedily. Water droplets spilled down the side of his mouth.

“Are you trying to poison me?” He coughed.

“Obviously not, If I was trying to poison you why would I take them as well?” I said “And I did try to warn you”

Kili just frowned, moving his tongue around his mouth to try and dislodge the taste.

oOo

After Kili composed himself we set off. Thankfully, with it being a monday morning, the shops would be relatively empty. Speaking of it being monday I had to inform Uni that I wouldn’t be in. It was all done online, which was helpful. It hadn’t been authorised yet but If being mauled by an animal isn’t cause for a week off from Uni then I don’t know what is.

Clothes was our first port of call. Kili needed a whole new wardrobe, after all. It seemed to be a challenge however as his measurements were not like average men. T-shirts were pretty straight forward, it was trousers where we had the problem. Apparently shops don’t cater to you when your 5 feet tall. How rude. At some point we just gave in and decided we would have to trim the legs down at home.

Kili was not a fan of jeans. “I’m not putting another pair of them on” He said as he came out of the dressing room “They’re scratchy and too tight and I thought I was going to be stuck in them”.

Mum calmly reached over and took the offending garment out of his hands. She placed a hand on his shoulder, quieting his rambling “Don’t worry darling we aren’t going to force you to wear things you don’t like”

He must have had quite an ordeal in the changing rooms if he was that angry at a pair of jeans. The thought was amusing and I tried to hide my smile behind my hand.

“Are you laughing at me? It’s not funny you know” He said, though he did have a smile on his face. 

He ended up getting some proper trousers and several pairs of soft jogging bottoms. Apparently they were more forgiving.

Kili was also amazed at the range of colours available.

“They’re all so bright” he marveled, running his hand down a brightly patterned shirt “We could never get colour like this back home”.

What then ensued was an overly excited dwarf picking up some of the most garish clothes imaginable. Rainbow shirts, brightly coloured trousers. It was a psychedelic colour explosion. Mum tried to suggest some more muted colours, which Kili sometimes agreed to. Whereas I was actively encouraging him, pointing out garments that he had missed. If the boy wanted to look like a toddler that had gotten dressed unaccompanied, then who was I to judge. I thought it was amazing, I wish I had the confidence to pull off some of the looks Kili was throwing out there.

“What about this?” I said, pulling out an amazing hawaiian shirt and holding it against Kili’s chest. It was bright blue and had flamingos on it.

Kili had a big grin on his face. “It’s perfect” he said, taking the shirt from me.

“What would you wear it with?” Mum interjected, trying to be the voice of reason.

“Those blue trousers with the white flowers on, obviously” Kili said matter of factly.

“Yeah mum, obviously” I laughed.

Next came shoes. The boots Kili currently had were huge and bulky. He would need a few pairs of more suitable shoes to move about in if he was staying with us for a while. God that’s just so bizarre. We’re gonna be living with a fictional character under our roof. Who knows how long he’ll end up staying with us. I haven’t lived with a boy for a long time, I can’t remember what it was like. It has just been Mum and me for so long, I hope I didn’t end up doing anything embarrassing. 

This dwarf couldn’t make things easy though. The boy had huge feet and most of the shoes wouldn’t go anywhere near them. That meant we had to scour the shops for some size 14 shoes.

“Are you sure you’re a dwarf and not a hobbit” I joked, sitting down next to Kili.

Kili was midway through putting a pair of bright blue trainers on. “How dare you” he mock gasped “ I am of the noble race of Dwarves”

He then proceeded to shove me. I fell off of the seat with a little squeak, landing in a pile on the floor. “You little shit” I said, laughing. 

He had also started laughing. I then dragged myself back up and sat back down. Turning to him, I narrowed my eyes. He held up a hand before I could do anything else.

“You can’t push me I’m an injured dwarf” he said, giving me puppy dog eyes.

“I’m injured too you loser” I said, lifting my arm up to him.

He looked a bit guilty then “Oh yeah, I may have forgotten” he said with a sheepish smile “sorry… if it makes you feel any better I didn't mean to push you that hard”.

"Oh well that makes it all fine then" I said sarcastically "Tell that to the bruise I just got from landing on a shoe"

“Oh really you two?” Mum had appeared in front of us “you’re acting like a couple of five year olds”

She sighed and shook her head, small smile lifting the corners of her mouth “What have I gotten myself into?”.

oOo

Kili ended up with a few pairs of shoes. One pair was at least black. Kili was having a lot of fun, that was until we reached the till. Then he became a little put out. He seemed to forget that someone had to pay for it all.

“It’s too much” he said “you shouldn’t have to spend your own money for me”

Mum wasn’t having any of it though. She stopped in front of him. “As long as you are going to be living under my roof you will be my responsibility okay, I can’t just leave you with nothing” She held up a hand when it looked like Kili was going to interrupt. “And anyway, once you return home I’m sure your mother would be happier to know that you were well looked after.''

“I guess so” Kili conceded. He didn’t have much room to argue when she brought his mum into it.

Before we knew it, quite a bit of the day had gone by. We hadn’t even gone food shopping yet. Mum decided that we should go to a small cafe and have some lunch. Sandwiches were a safe bet as we didn’t actually know what food Kili liked.

We piled the many bags around a small 4 seater table as best as we could. Some bags were sticking out but we tried to make sure they weren’t in anyone’s way. Mum and I decided to share a pot of tea.

“What would you like to drink Kili?” Mum asked.

“Er, I don’t know I’ve never really like tea all that much” He admitted “Do they have any Ale or mead?”

“No Kili, it’s not really a thing here to drink alcohol in the day” I said.

His eyebrows drew together “Really? but it’s normally watered down, everyone drinks it even children”

I blinked at that. 

“Well they don’t really do that here, I’m afraid” said Mum.

Kili looked quite downtrodden. I didn’t like seeing him sad.

“I know something you might like” I said

He looked up inquisitive “It’s called hot chocolate, I have a feeling you might be a fan of sweet things”

“Sweet sounds good” he smiled.

Mum went up and placed our orders. They didn’t take long to arrive. Mine and Mum’s arrived in a small teapot covered in flowers. Kili’s had a chocolate powder heart sprinkled onto the top of his. He informed me that it was ‘cold’. I raised my eyebrow at him, I could definitely see steam coming off of it. It was in fact hot. He then explained that he meant it in the way that I described in the car yesterday. ‘ooh he meant cool’. I corrected him and he gave an amused smile “Eh” he shrugged, “It’s the same thing”.

Turned out Kili was in fact a big fan of hot chocolate. Mum did scold him, however, when he tried to add five sugars to his cup.

oOo

Next on the agenda was food shopping. We packed all of Kili’s new clothes into the back of the car as best as we could. Considering we forgot to take out Kili’s sword and quiver the other night it made it a little difficult. 

We went to the local supermarket after squeezing everything in the car. I was excited. Is it weird to get excited about food shopping? I wanted to introduce Kili to new foods. The part of my brain that loved cooking was singing with all the possibilities. Pasta dishes. Rice. Ooh noodles he’s probably never had those.

Kili wandered next to us as we cruised down the aisles. His eyes were wide and he was looking around at everything. Every so often he would walk into other people’s trolleys because he wasn’t looking where he was walking. When this would happen I would grab his elbow and pull him out of the way.

“You need to look where you’re going dude” I said, pulling him gently to the side and offering the woman he bumped into an apologetic smile.

The old woman huffed and complained about disrespectful youth.

“It’s cold, a cold shelf” He said, too intrigued by the fridge.

“It’s called a fridge” I clarified “It keeps food cool so it doesn’t go off”

The woman was giving Kili a weird look. Her judgy face was set in a look of disapproval. I narrowed my eyes at her, dragging Kili away from her. Snooty cow.

“It’s like a portable ice cave” Kili marvelled.

“Yeah and we have our own at home, you can look at that one when we get in” we reached where my mum and our trolley was “For now, you need to look where you’re going”

Kili agreed and thankfully didn’t bump into anymore people. We slowly made our way around the shop, Kili asking questions about everything. At one point we had reached the sweet aisle. My eyes lit up. What better way to introduce Kili to our world than a shit ton of sweets. I turned to mum eagerly.

“No, I’m not buying those” She replied to my look “If you want them then you can get them yourself”

I turned to Kili and placed my hand on his shoulder “Don’t worry dude” I fist bumped my chest “I got you”

“I’m confused” he said 

“Sweets, Kili” I clarified “If you like liquid chocolate I can guarantee you’ll like it in bar form”

His face lit up and he looked around the aisle eagerly. “I do like sweets”

I may have gone overboard on the sweets. But he was a guest to this world. He might as well enjoy his time here. It’s not like he’s gonna eat them all in one go. At least I hope not. The last thing I needed was a lost dwarf on a sugar high.

Before we left we remembered that Kili needed his own hair stuff. He scanned the available brushes with surprising scrutiny. Holding up the brushes to the light, running his hand down the bristles, tapping the back of them. Most of them didn’t hold up and he discarded them with a frown. Serious business. Eventually one was deemed sufficient enough. It was a solid wooden one.

“Would you like your own shampoo?” I asked, scanning the bottles in front of me.

“I guess so” he followed my gaze and looked at the shelf in front of him. So many choices

I reached for one and popped open the lid. Holding it up, I pushed it towards Kili’s nose. He blinked as I brought it up to his face.

“Smell it” I said, waggling the bottle in front of his nose.

He leaned forward tentatively and inhaled. A pleasant expression spread across his face. “It smells nice”

“Which one do you want?” I said, motioning to the shelves.

What followed was an inquisitive dwarf hastily picking up bottle after bottle, inhaling deeply. It was an odd sight. Eventually he chose a raspberry scented one. It was a good choice. I might steal some at one point or another.

As we were about to leave the aisle I realised Kili had stopped following me. He was looking at something on the shelves. Following his line of sight I saw it was for beard products. His hand was stroking his chin and he looked strangely vulnerable.

“What are these?” He said pointing towards the shelf

I picked up one of the products off the shelf. It was a glass bottle with a pipette at the top. There was a black and white picture of a beard on the front.

“Er its beard oil” I said, turning the bottle over in my hand “It’s supposed to make your beard grow faster I think”

Kili looked down, his hand back on his chin, rubbing his stubble. “Could I have some?” he asked, voice not as steady as it had been.

“Of course you can” I said, giving him an encouraging smile.

oOo   

After food shopping was done we called it a day and went home. Kili was happily chomping on sweets in the car. He was like a child on Christmas. 

“I like these,” he said, a half eaten rainbow belt hanging out of his mouth.

“Me too” I said, reaching over and stealing one out of his hand.

I put it in my mouth before he could steal it back. It was sour and sweet. The grains of sugar rubbed against my tongue.

Kili’s mouth was open, a look of shock and horror. “How could you?”

“I bought them” I laughed.

“For me” he said, angling the bag away from me and conspicuously taking another bite.

“Aw please Kili, just one more” I pouted, sticking my bottom lip out.

Kili narrowed his eyes briefly but then conceded. “You can have one more”

He held the bag out towards me as an invitation. I looked him dead in the eyes. And then took three.

“You thief” Kili said, a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

I simply laughed and put another one in my mouth. He also grinned back at me, a full smile that lit up his whole face. It made me feel warm and happy. I liked it when he smiled.

When we got home we lugged everything out of the car and into the house. There were so many bags it was ridiculous. We decided to delegate tasks. Kili and I would sort out his clothes and mum would sort out the food. I carried the bags up to Kili’s room. Kili wasn’t very happy when I wouldn’t let him carry the heavy bags. Something about how it should be him helping me, and how his mother would kill him if she knew he was letting me do all the hard work. I wouldn’t budge though. The guy was way more injured than me. I was not risking him hurting himself more. I let him carry some of the lighter bags as a compromise.

Kili and I went about putting his new clothes away. There was a set of drawers and a small wardrobe in the room. We folded some clothes and hung up others. I assigned Kili to hanger duty as his attempt at folding was abysmal. Soon we were done. I flopped down onto the bed and fell backwards. I was shattered. Today had been a busy day. Kili sat down next to me. Perched on the edge.

“It’s not everyday that I have a girl in my bed” he joked, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Shut up” I said, hitting his leg with my knee.

Kili snickered. He carried on smiling for a moment before his face went more serious.

“So is it just you and your mother here?” he asked, tentatively.

I dragged myself up to a sitting position. My feet dangled, not quite touching the floor. Then again so did Kili’s. 

“Yeah” I breathed “It’s just us two now”

Looking down, I started messing with the edges of my bandages. Pulling at the frayed strands. Rolling them between my fingers.

“I did have a dad...and a brother” I took a deep breath to try and steady myself “They died when I was 6”

“Oh im so sorry Leah” Kili said “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”

“No” I said, with a small shake of my head “No, I can talk about it”

Thinking about my dad and brother, I got an idea. I told Kili to wait there and rushed to my room. It wasn’t long and I was back with an object in my hand. Kili was still in the same place. I sat back down next to him. Cradling the object to my chest. Slowly, I lowered it down to reveal a photo frame. It was a family photo. Mum and Dad were standing next to each other. I was in dad’s arms and Lachlan was in mum’s. We looked so happy. Dad’s hair was only a little bit shorter than mine was in the photo. Reaching his shoulders. His eyes crinkled when he smiled. Lachlan had his mouth wide open and his hands in the air. He was a very excitable child, so I’m told.

My chest tightened looking at the photo. I had come to terms with losing them over the years but it still hit me hard.

I pointed towards my dad “That’s my dad, he was called Theodore” then I pointed to my brother “That’s my brother, he was called Lachlan”

“Is this a painting?” he said, hand hovering over the glass “It’s so lifelike”

Not lifelike enough. “It’s a photograph, like a very realistic painting” I replied.

“Your brother is he…?” said Kili

“He was my twin, the same age as me” I said before he could finish.

“By Mahal that’s awful” he said, his eyes scanning my face. “I can’t imagine losing a brother, if I lost Fili I don’t know how I’d cope”

I gave him a sad smile. It probably didn’t reach my eyes. 

“How did they die?... if, if that’s okay to ask” Kili stuttered

“It’s fine,” I said, waving my hand “They died in a car crash, someone drove into the side of our car”.

Kili’s eyebrows shot up “A car...I thought you told me they were safe”

“Well, normally they are but not always” I shrugged.

Kili looked down. He started playing with the zip on his jacket. “Forgive me if I'm a little nervous about getting back into a car now”

I laughed a little at that. Bumping his shoulder with mine. “That makes two of us”

Kili smiled back at me. Then he sighed. “My Father died too… Though you probably knew that already” 

“I know that he died but that’s all, I don’t know anything else really. Not even his name” I confessed.

“Oh, well, his name was Vali” he smiled, eyes still sad “And he was the best Adad a dwarf could hope for. He was noble, and strong and caring”

He looked down at the photo in my hands. “At least you have such a good painting of you’re Adad, I struggle to remember what mine looked like sometimes, I just remember that he looked a lot like Fili” his breath shuddered and the start of a tear was forming in his eye.

My heart broke at the sight. Being careful of his stitches, I wrapped my arm around his. Hugging his arm against me. Then I laced my fingers in his hand, squeezing gently. My other hand lay on top of where our hands were joined. He squeezed my hand back and we gave each other a sympathetic smile.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the next few chapters will just be short one shots of Kili's time in modern day earth, they might not be as long as these ones have been.


	6. You don't have to be a ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how I said that the next few chapters won't be as long and this is literally my longest chapter yet, lol.  
> Also Ya boi has officially got a First in my Psychology degree. Apparently I know something about the topic.

I woke up the next day feeling slightly more alive. Everything over the past few days had been mental and exhausting. Sorting my sleep schedule out seemed to help though. Sleep was always good. My muscles groaned in protest as I stretched my arms above my head. A yawn pulled at the edges of my mouth. My phone was charging on the table next to me. Looking at it I realised that I hadn’t spoken to Anika since friday. Shit, she’ll probably be mad. I picked the phone up and scrolled through all the notifications. Messages asking how I was that then got more panicked as time went on.

Oh god I needed to call her. Should I tell her everything? I don’t even know if she would believe me. Though I think if I looked convinced enough Anika would come around. We could trust each other. If I had some evidence it might help convince her. There was Kili’s sword, that could help. And maybe… Oh wait I had even better proof. I’d filmed it didn’t I. Scared that we would be abducted by aliens.

Going to my gallery, I scrolled down to the most recent videos. There it was. Bright and blinding. Kili fell out and then followed the warg. That’s when I must have dropped my phone because the screen went black. Watching the video sent a chill through me and my heart rate picked up. Fuck me, I can’t believe that actually happened. Strangely though, the video didn’t pick up any of the weird noises that came from the portal. You could still hear other sounds though, so it wasn’t as if it hadn’t recorded any sound. 

I shook my head. Nope. Not dealing with that today. Steeling myself, I held up the phone and dialled Anika’s number. This was worth a phone call rather than a text. She picked pretty much straight away.

“Bitch, where have you been I thought you were dead!” Anika’s concerned voice rang down the phone “I was so close to calling the police, you don’t even know”

“I’m so sorry Anika,” I said, rubbing a hand down my face “So much shit happened that I haven’t really had much time to pick up my phone”

“Shit? what kind of shit, are you okay?” 

“Oh god I don’t even know where to start” I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

“Put me on video messenger I wanna see you” she implored.

After fiddling with apps for a minute Anika’s face filled up the screen. Her eyes were wide and she was biting her lower lip.

“Heeey babe” I waved.

“Don’t heeey me, tell me what’s wrong” she interrupted

I swapped hands with my phone so I could lift up the injured one. The bandage covered nearly my whole forearm and it would probably be a good place to start. Angling my phone I made it so my arm was in full view.

“Well, this happened” I said waving my arm about.

“Jesus, how did you do that?” Anika sucked in air through her teeth “You didn’t fall down a mountain did you?”

“Not quite” I shook my head “I would have preferred If I did I think. No, this was caused by an animal” 

“An animal?!, you don’t have rabies right? How did that even happen? Did you anger a goat or something?” Her questions came so fast I almost didn’t catch them all.

“No I didn’t anger a goat” I said, slightly affronted. “More like a wolf thing”

Anika’s eyebrows drew together. “A wolf?, why the fuck was there a wolf”

I realised then that I didn’t really want to do this over the phone. It would be a lot easier face to face. The real face to face not just video calling.

“Ani, is there any way you could come over. I feel like it would be a lot better if we could do this in person”

“Uuh, I’ve got lectures until 1 so I’ll only be able to come around after that,” said Anika “Are you really gonna leave me on edge all day? I won’t be able to concentrate. I need the deets”

“You’ll get them all don’t worry, I love yooou” I said

“Love you too, don’t get eaten before I get there” She said, pointing her finger at me

“I won’t. I promise”.

We both waved goodbye and I put my phone down. I inhaled deeply through my nose and exhaled out of my mouth, puffing out my cheeks. Hopefully she takes the news well and we can all live happily ever after.

Walking out of my room I saw that Kili was still asleep. I say saw. Really, I heard him snoring through the door. The living room was empty when I made it down the stairs. So was the kitchen. There was a shiny new toaster on the side though. At least we could make toast for breakfast now.

I looked around, confused. Mum should be here. I saw that she wasn’t in her bedroom. She must have gone out or something. Through the window, the sun was shining on the back garden. It was quite big as we lived on the corner of a cul-de-sac. Flowers lined the edges with plant boxes in the corner for vegetables. In the middle was a paved seating area with a pergola covering it. Anika and I once made mum wrap fairy lights around it so it would look like the gazebo from the twilight prom scene. Yes we were that sad.

That’s when I saw the light catch on a blonde head. Oh there’s mum. She was sitting on a rattan seat, facing away from the house. Why was she outside? I made my way out of the back door towards her. The grass was slightly damp as it brushed my exposed ankles. It needed a bit of a trim. I was about to announce my presence when the words died in my mouth.

Mum was just staring, hardly blinking. She looked as if she hadn’t even heard me approach. Her mouth was set in a thin line and tears were forming in her eyes. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

What was happening? Oh God, Is she okay?

 We hadn’t really had a chance to talk about what had happened. The way mum had cried out at the portal closing. A full cup of tea was on the table next to her. Stone cold. She could have been out here for god knows how long. I shuffled forward as silently as I could.

“Mum?” I said, voice almost a whisper.

The sound seemed to shock her out of it. She blinked rapidly and sucked in a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” I said

She looked at me then, a small smile on her face “Oh Leah, I’m sorry I was too deep in my thoughts. I didn’t even hear you coming” 

Mum reached forward and picked up her mug, taking a sip. Her nose wrinkled up in disgust and she put it back down “Oh it’s cold”

I walked over and sat next to mum on the seat. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk since the ‘thing’” I said “And I’m scared, did it do something to you? You seem so hurt”

Mum reached over and squeezed my hand, a pleasant smile on her face. “Of course not darling, I’m okay”

I pulled my hand out of hers. She was obviously lying. You don’t react like that if nothing happened. “I’m not an idiot mum, obviously something happened” I pleaded.

She sighed. For a moment it looked like she wasn’t going to say anything. When she did it was in a low voice. “I’m not sure, it’s just” she sighed “when that light was open it made me think of your father”

Dad? Why would it make her think of him? She saw my confused look and carried on.

“It was like when I was in front of it, he was all I could think about. All different kinds of memories ran through my head. All him. All happy. And when it disappeared it hit me hard” she looked at me with a sad smile “I’m sorry for making you worry,”

So it was the thought of dad that was making mum hurt so much. I could understand that, we all get caught up in grief sometimes. Though I still have no idea why the portal made her think of dad. It’s not as if dad had ever been a disembodied light in the middle of a field. 

Thinking back, I do remember mum acting this way before. Most of the time she had tried to hide her grief from me, probably to protect me in some way. She had gotten better at hiding her grief over the years. That’s probably why her reaction shocked me so much. But I was older now, I want her to have to hide her feelings from me.

“It’s okay mum” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder.

She wrapped her arm around my back and held me to her. A kiss was planted on the crown of my head. 

“It’s probably best that I cancel wine night with Steve and Katherine this week” she breathed.

I hummed in agreement. Steve and Katherine were Anika’s adopted parents. They had all become friends as Anika and I spent more time together. Wine night was originally a book club but it hadn’t been for a while. Only Steve was still convinced it was a book club and still called it that. 

We stayed sat like that for a little bit. Just watching the sun shine on the leaves and the birds singing. 

oOo

Kili woke up a little while later. Bleary eyed, groggy and wearing pajama bottoms that were too long for him. He wasn’t a morning person evidently. I informed him that a friend of mine was coming over and that we could trust her with the secret. He seemed a bit wary but excited to meet someone new. I then told him that if he was meeting my friend that he needed to get dressed. Which he readily agreed with.

I waited downstairs while he got dressed. When he arrived, descending down the stairs like a colourful masterpiece. He had a long sleeve shirt covered in mutli-coloured patterns. Red, blue, yellow and green. It looked like a bowling alley carpet in all seriousness. The left sleeve was unbuttoned to accommodate the cast. Then on top of that was a short sleeve t-shirt that was blue and covered in tiny pictures of sharks. Kili didn’t even know what a shark was he just thought they were cool. Then to top it all off he had bright green trousers. Masterpiece indeed. I definitely needed a picture of this.

“Hey Kili I want to try something” I said as Kili came into the living room.

He arched an eyebrow in response. “Depends what it is”

“You just stand there” I said, while moving him to stand against the wall “And smile”

I lifted my phone up and moved back a few steps. Bumping into the back of the settee in the process. Kili looked confused.

“Come on smile” I encouraged “Trust me, it’s cool, or ‘cold’ if you prefer”

Kili relented and gave a very forced grin. I guess that’s the best I was getting. I then took a few photos; In portrait mode because I wanted the whole outfit in there. Dropping my hand back down I assessed whether the photos were adequate or not. Yep, they were all good.

“Right come and see” I said, motioning with my hand for him to come forward.

He inched forward cautiously. When he was next to me I angled the phone towards him. His face lit up in wonder and he reached out to hold the phone.

“That’s me?!” He said, a huge grin on his face.

“It is” I grinned back

“Can you do more?, We should do another one” he babbled.

“Of course” I said “Let’s do a selfie this time”

I held my phone up and flipped the camera to front facing. Kili’s eyes lit up.

“Durin’s beard It’s us and it moves,” he said, moving his head around and watching the image on the phone do the same. Like a shadow boxer.

“Keep still and smile,” I said, smiling at his reaction.

He did so without protest this time. And with a genuine smile.

What followed was essentially a photoshoot. Kili directed what he wanted, where he wanted to be, the angle etc. Mum walked in on us hanging off of the edge the settee. Our backs were on the cushions but our heads dangled off the front of the seat. We were in hysterics. For some reason everything was funnier when you were upside down. Probably the blood rushing to your head. I couldn’t stop laughing at the facial expressions Kili was doing. Mum simply laughed while shaking her head.

oOo

The photoshoot ended pretty soon after that. We still had a couple hours to kill before Anika would show up. I decided to show Kili some more music. We were in the garden, on the little seating area. It was a nice day, only a bit chilly when the wind blew your way. I had just returned from the house with headphones in tow. Plugging the headphones into my phone I checked that sound was coming through them. I put one earbud in my ear and adjusted the volume so it wasn’t too loud. Don’t want to give the boy a heart attack.

Satisfied with the volume, I handed both earbuds to Kili. He grabbed them delicately, looking like they might explode. “Put them in your ears” I said motioning to my own ears.

Slowly he moved them to his ears, seeming very cautious. 

“Right, tell me when you can hear something” I said, pressing play on the song.

You could tell the moment the music started playing because his eyes went comically wide.

“IT’S MUSIC” he shouted, a happy grin on his face.

I winced slightly at the volume of his voice. Reaching forward I took out one of his headphones. “You don’t have to shout Kili, I can hear you when you speak normally”

“Really?” he said puzzled “But I had to speak over the music”

“Only you can hear the music because you have the headphones” I explained.

“Oh right” he said, then he frowned a little “I don’t want to be the only one who can hear the music, you should be able to hear it too”.

Aww that’s thoughtful of him. It made me smile. I then took the earbud that was in my hand and put it into my own ear.

“Now we can both listen to it,” I said.

A new song then started drifting through the headphones:

_ Did I say something wrong? Did you hear what I was thinking? _

_ Did I talk way too long when I told you all my feelings that night?                                            _

_ Is it you? Is it me? Did you find somebody better? Someone who isn't me, 'cause I know that I was never your type                                        _

_ Never really your type _

 

_ Overthinking's got me drinking                                                                                         _

_ Messing with my head, whoa _

 

_ Tell me what you hate about me                                                                                    _

_ Whatever it is, I'm sorry                _

_ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah _

_ I know I can be dramatic                                                                                                         _

_ But everybody said we had it  _

_ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah _

 

_ I'm coming to terms with a broken heart                                                                                      _

_ I guess that sometimes good things fall apart _

We sat like that for a little while, just listening to songs. Occasionally I would sing along. Kili seemed to be developing a preference for certain types of music over others.

“So, what kind of music do you like the best then?” I inquired.

“I like whatever you sing, of course,” he said with a very big grin.

I could feel my face heating up. Why doth mine cheeks betray me? I gave him a gentle shove and told him to shut up.

“You blush so easily” he laughed, poking my cheek with a finger.

I swatted his hand away. “Stop poking me” I tried to say in a serious voice but a smile may have betrayed me. 

“Seriously though, what do you like?” I asked.

He paused for a few moments, deep in thought. “I guess I like louder songs and ones where you can hear the instruments” he said “I do like some of the stranger ones too, I have no idea how you make some of those noises. Not like any instrument I’ve ever heard”

That gave me some ideas about what music I could introduce him to. Rock bands seem to be the best place to start like ACDC or Queen. He’d probably like some more modern stuff too. I’ll show him some Killers and Panic at the disco.

“I love music, always have done” said Kili, his eyes focused on the trees in front of him. “I would always drag Fili and Amad to one of the music halls. They’d grumble about it but I think they liked it really.” a smile graced his face.

“I would just stand there listening to the instruments, and the voices would bounce off the walls. Amad bought me a violin for my birthday once and I was so excited I practised it nearly every hour. She nearly regretted that gift” he laughed.

“I always wanted more. When the people stopped playing I would be sad, I’d have to wait until the next day to hear more. But here. Here you can listen to it whenever you want, It’s incredible”

Hearing how much Kili loved music made my heart sing. He had such passion in his voice when he spoke about it.

“I used to put on music shows for the whole family to watch” I added. I couldn’t remember too much about them because I was very young but mum had told me about them. “I would make up my own songs and dances and I made everyone sit down and watch them. Mum told me that I would also make Lachlan be my back-up dancer” the memory made me giggle.

“I always wanted to become a singer. To be famous and sing in front of thousands of people. Things don’t work out that way though. I wouldn’t even know where to begin” I said, sighing.

“I think you’d be a great singer” Kili said with a smile.

oOo

Anika arrived not long after 1. Being able to drive meant that she didn’t need to take an hour on the bus. I left Kili in the garden listening to music while I went to the front door. Anika bundled her way inside as soon as the door opened.

“Right tell me everything” She said.

We sat down on the settee and I tried to explain as best as I could. I told her the whole story and showed her the video to back it up. She was very disbelieving at first but slowly she was coming around to the idea.

“This is mental, how the hell is this happening?” she said, looking to me for an answer.

I shook my head “How am I supposed to know” I said, rubbing my temples “This whole thing is just wild, I need a scientist or something.”

Anika looked at me with narrowed eyes “Did you just wish  _ really _ hard for a dwarf in shining armour?”

I scoffed at her and slapped her on the arm. Heat rising in my cheeks “Not helpful”.

Anika laughed and then her eyebrows pulled together “Does this mean that Tolkien has been there or was he just really good at guessing?” 

“Who knows dude, it’s not as if we could ask him either. It might have helped us to get Kili home” I said.

“I want to meet him,” said Anika, suddenly very restless and bouncing in her seat “I’ve never met a Middle Earth dwarf before”.

I told her to follow me to the garden. Kili was where I left him, sitting down listening to music. He had both earphones in and didn’t hear us approach. Trying not to startle him, I gently tapped on his shoulder. He turned, quickly taking out the headphones. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Anika next to me.

“Hiii” Anika waved “I’m Anika, Leah’s friend”.

Kili seemed taken aback by Anika. “So many braids” he whispered with wonder, 

“You must have accomplished many great deeds”.

Anika seemed very pleased with herself. “Well of course I have” she said both hands folded over chest. Then she reached over a nudged me “Tell him of all my great deeds Leah”

“What like the time you got chased by a goose” I laughed.

Anika gasped “That’s slander, I was rescuing Rosie from a vicious goose attack. if anything I’m a hero”

Kili looked quite confused about our exchange. Deciding not to leave him in the dark I explained. “Here people’s braid don’t really symbolise anything they’re mostly just for personal preference”

“Erm, they symbolise the fact that I look hot as hell I’ll have you know” Anika interjected, then she sighed. “She’s right though, I wear my hair like this because I like it not because I'm some superhero.”

“Oh I see” Then Kili seemed to remember himself at got to his feet. 

“I’m Kili” he bowed “At your service”

oOo

We spent the rest of the day just talking amongst ourselves. Kili would tell us some stories from his home and we would tell him stories about ours. A lot of mine and Anika’s stories seemed to be at the expense of the other. I didn’t mind though, I seem to be in the weird minority that loved people knowing about their embarrassing stories. If it was funny why shouldn’t other people hear it.

Anika had started questioning Kili “Wait so how old are?”

“Im 77” said Kili.

From what I can remember that made Kili a young dwarf, just coming of age. So it terms of human years he was about our age; early 20’s.

“77?! Holy shit you’re an old man” Anika snorted.

Kili looked scandalised “I’ll have you know I am a young dwarf, not a man”

Anika was still giggling “Okay I won’t call you an old man… how about geriatric?”

“I have a feeling that’s not good either,” said Kili.

“It means exactly the same thing” I informed him.

Anika had stopped laughing now and wiped a tear from her eye “I’m gonna call you Geri”

Kili just sighed seeming resigned to his fate.

oOo

A week went by and I realised that I had to go back to Uni. As mum had gone back to work Kili was going to have to come with me. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Kili on his own just yet and I don’t think Kili would like being alone either. It wouldn’t be a problem though. My Uni is weird. They never ask anyone to wear their student I.D so anyone could just walk into any lecture. 

I was in a bed shirt and a pair of shorts when I came into the living room. Kili was sitting on the settee. He went bright red when he saw me. Shit, sharing a house with a guy is gonna be hard. I forgot that walking around the house in booty shorts probably wasn’t the best plan.

“Oh hello” he coughed, avoiding eye contact.

“Sorry” I laughed nervously “Shorts probably aren’t the most appropriate thing”

“I’ve got to get used to quite a lot in this world” he laughed, looking back at me.

His eyes flitted back down to my legs and he froze, eyebrows drawing together. He was staring, transfixed by my leg. It made me self-conscious and I looked down to see what he was staring at. 

Well shit. I forgot about that. It’s probably quite a shock to see your dwarven homeland tattooed on a random person’s body.  

“What is that?” he said pointing to my right thigh.

“It’s a tattoo…” I said

“But that, that’s Erebor, you have Erebor tattooed on your leg” He said incredulously. 

“Okay, okay here me out. I was a big fan of your stories before I even knew you really existed I wanted something to show that” I said, flustered.

Kili still looked a bit skeptical but didn’t push it any further. Then suddenly he broke out into a mischievous grin “So you must really like Dwarves then”

“Oh get that grin off your face” I said, face heating up.

oOo

There were two buses I needed to catch to get to Uni. One took us into town and then the other would take us onto campus. Anika was meeting us and getting on the second bus with us. Normally she took her car but today she decided to join us on the bus. 

Kili was not a fan of buses. After learning about my car accident he was very wary of motor vehicles. Apparently the lack of seatbelts made buses even worse. When we got off the first bus Kili was very pale. 

I put my hand on his shoulder “It’s okay Kili, you’ll get used to it”

“If you say so” He mumbled.

Anika was waving at us from a few stops down. The uni bus was already here and a large group of people were piling onto it. Oh god I hope there’s a seat. I don’t think Kili would be happy if he had to stand. Jogging a little, we reached Anika. We may have pushed in a little bit but it’s fiiine. 

We piled onto the bus and tried to find a seat. There were two towards the back, one opposite each side of the aisle. I pushed Kili in front of me eager to get the seats before anyone else. Having made it to the seat I pushed Kili down into it. Anika took the seat opposite. Then the bus was moving. I had to grab onto the pole to stop myself from falling.

Kili was looking around “Is there no other seats?”

“Don’t think so, quite a few people are standing now,” I said, feet sliding a bit.

“You should have this seat, I shouldn’t be sitting while you have to stand” he said earnestly.

I think it was probably a dwarf trait. Females in their society were treated with the utmost respect because there was so few of them. Which probably meant that many dwarves did things so that the dwarrowdams didn’t have to. Like standing on the bus and giving her your seat. While it was heartwarming, it was completely unnecessary. I had more experience standing on a bus than he did.

“Kili, honestly, I’m fine. The bus should only take 15 minutes tops” I said.

Kili seemed adamant though. Even tried to get out of his seat. That’s when two arms wrapped themselves around my torso and pulled me backwards. I half fell into Anika’s lap.

“See now everyone’s happy” She smiled

“Thanks, babe” I said

“No problem, darling” she laughed.

Kili settled down then and sat back down. Anika then began twirling a strand of my hair in her fingers.

“You know this is the part in the rom-com where you put my hair behind my ears” I said raising my eyebrows suggestively.

She then lifted the ends of my hair up towards me “Is it also the part of the rom-com where you get a hair-cut? Because you’re getting split ends”

“Rude” I said, pulling my hair out of her hand.

“I haven’t got any lectures at 12 so I was planning to sneak into yours” Anika said “I want to see what Kili thinks of University” she nodded her head towards Kili.

“As long as I don’t have to do any of the work I’ll probably be fine” said Kili and then wrinkled his nose “I’m not very scholarly”.

oOo

I only had two lectures today. However the first one was two hours long and the next one started straight after. 3 hours of joy. First up was my cognitive neuroscience module. Thankfully, I actually enjoyed this one and the lecturer was really nice. His name was Jim Brooks and he got very excited about FMRI’s.

“Right hello 2nd year students, today we’ll be following on from last weeks lecture on FMRI’s” he paused for a moment, looking around “We’ll also be looking at Aphasia, we’ll touch on that further into the lecture”.

Kili and I had found a place towards the middle of the lecture hall. I got my notebook and pens out ready to take notes. Notes however didn’t come. I was terrible at taking notes during a lecture, I normally had to write them up afterwards. Boredom began to creep in and I itched to play with my hair. I stopped myself however because I was a good friend and didn’t want to make Kili uncomfortable. This meant it was time to initiate origami mode.

I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook. Thankfully it was more silently than the last time. Kili saw me and raised an eyebrow in confusion. He leaned forward and whispered “Aren’t you supposed to be listening”

I turned my face to him, resting my chin on my hand. “Technically, yeah but I’m not very good at it”.

He then copied my stance and held his own chin in his hand “You know, If I ever didn’t listen to my tutors they’d clip me round the ear”

“Is that a threat?” I mocked.

“Maybe” he grinned.

“Oh shush” I whispered, returning to my origami.

I decided to make a little flower first. Once it was finished I offered it to Kili.

“Here you can have it” I said putting it into his hand.

He became very still, just staring at it in his hand. “Is this a flower?” he whispered after a moment.

“Yeah I think it’s supposed to be a rose or a lotus flower” I clarified.

Kili nodded back. He was holding the flower in his hand very delicately as if was made of glass.

“You don’t have to be too delicate with” I joked “I can always make you another one”

The corners of his lips twitched up and he very carefully placed the flower in his pocket. A slight pink tinge to his cheeks.

That was an odd reaction.

Turning back to face the front, I tuned back into the lecture.

“There are a few different kinds of Aphasia, but we’re only going to focus on two. That is Broca’s aphasia and Wernicke’s aphasia. Now aphasia, Is an impairment in language and speech production brought about by damage to the brain. Did I say the word aphasia too many times? I feel like I did” he laughed

“Anyway, Wernicke’s area is towards the centre of the brain in the temporal lobe” He used a laser pointer to indicate to a picture of a brain on the board. “When this area gets damaged language comprehension becomes impaired. Often they can still speak fluently, all the words are real words, but it’s gibberish. Like ‘My cat door through air”.

The slide changed over to another picture of a brain. Only this one had a different area highlighted.

“And this one is called Broca’s area, it is located in the frontal lobe” He motioned to the front of his head with his hand. “Damage to this area can cause similar yet different symptoms. Language comprehension remains intact. They can fully understand what is being said to them. However the impairment then comes from speech production. They struggle to form the words that they want to say and it comes out as something else”.

It was actually quite interesting. However, the lecturer quickly moved on to a different topic and I tuned back out again.

oOo

Anika met us outside the lecture theatre for my next class. She had just gotten out of one of her English lectures. We followed in behind a group of other students. Anika decided that we should sit near the back. We managed to get some seats in the middle of the row. I was on the left, Kili was in the middle and Anika was on the right.

“I think we should have a selfie to commemorate” Said Anika, reaching for her phone.

Kili looked very excited and agreed with her. Anika flipped her camera to front facing and angled her phone so that we were all in the photo.

“Say cheese” she said.

Kili moved just as she took the photo. His eyebrows were drawn together and he was looking around confused.

“Dude you moved, the picture’s blurry” Anika huffed.

“Where’s the cheese” Kili said, confusion lacing his voice.

“What?” Anika laughed.

“The cheese” Kili clarified “You said cheese but I don’t see any”

I giggled at his cluelessness “She’s not on about real cheese Kili it’s an expression”

“I still don’t get it” Kili said shaking his head. A few strands of hair falling in front of his eyes.

“If you say ‘Cheeeese’” I extended the word cheese showing my teeth “It sort of makes you smile, so people say it before taking a photo”

His face formed an Oohh shape as he finally understood. He then started repeating the word cheese to himself, moving his lips in an exaggerated fashion.

“Can we take the photo now?” Anika said, exasperated.

Kili stopped saying the word cheese and leaned forward. I followed suit and Anika managed to take a few photos.

The lecture started and it was boring as hell. Something about psychodynamic processes. That was until they got to the juicy topic of Freud.

“...As we all probably know by now Freud had some very strange ideas about child development. His most famous one of course being that all boys want to have sex with their mothers and that all girls want to have sex with their fathers”

“WHAT?!” Kili yelled from the back of the lecture hall.

Quite a few students started laughing. Probably thinking he was just trying to be funny. Kili however looked distraught and disgusted. I quickly covered his mouth with my hand before he could yell anything else. Anika was losing it next to Kili, tears in her eyes. I motioned with my finger for Kili to shush while also trying to contain my own laughter.

The lecturer looked slightly amused and then started to carry on with his lecture when it looked like people had calmed down. Anika was trying to be silent but I think that made her want to laugh more.

I slowly removed my hand from Kili’s mouth.

“That’s disgusting! I would never! I think I’m going to be sick!” Kili whispered harshly, his face had gone bright red.

Anika was barely containing herself, his words not helping. Her laughing had started to set me off too.

“I know Kili, Freud was just a gross, old, crazy man from years ago.” I patted him on the shoulder “No one actually thinks it’s true I promise”

“This world is weird” he mumbled under his breath, face still red.

I was inclined to agree.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Things Fall Apart- Illenium ft Jon Bellion


	7. He could be the one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason AO3 keeps moving my line breakers so now they're all over the place

Fili (Ered Luin- Middle Earth)

It was still raining but he no longer felt it. He just felt cold and empty. It was as if someone had plunged a knife deep into his gut and twisted. Wrenching his soul apart. Fili trudged heavily through the sinking mud. His brother’s blood covered bow clenched in a white knuckle grip. He couldn’t think, it was like he was untethered and lost. A sob tore its way out of his throat. He’d searched for hours but he found no sign of Kili. 

It was dark now and the clouds formed a blanket, ready to suffocate him. As the entrance to the mountain came into sight Fili was surrounded by dwarves. They all spoke at once. A cacophony of voices. Fili couldn’t hear them or distinguish them. He stood there pale as a ghost and covered in blood. The dwarves quickly bundled him inside. Fili didn’t pay attention to where they were taking him. Simply moved his feet one in front of the other.

Before he knew it he had been guided to the royal chambers. When he realised where he was his heart started racing and his breathing quickened. Oh Mahal, he couldn’t tell Amad. It would break her.

He was guided into a room by who he could now see was Dwalin. Dwalin’s hand was tight on his shoulder and he tried to use that to anchor himself to the here and now. Fili was guided into his front room. A fire roared in the hearth. Throwing long shadows across the floor. Thorin was stood in front of it. It was clear he had been pacing. 

“What happened?” Thorin asked, his usual stoic expression breaking.

Dis, who had been behind Thorin, then pushed her way passed and ran to embrace Fili.

“Oh Fili you had me worried sick” Dis then looked up at Fili, noticing the specks of blood on his face. 

Her eyes went wide and she reached up a hand to Fili’s face “What happened?” then she looked around and suddenly became more panicked “Where’s your brother?”

Fili shattered at her words. Sobs wracked his body and tears streamed down his face “Amad” his voice cracked. He reached for her and held on as if she was the only thing stopping him from being washed away.

Thorin was there then, his strong voice grounding Fili. “Fili, tell us what happened”

And he did.

Dis collapsed to the ground. Her cries sounded as if she had a hand wrapped around her throat. A strangled noise; as if she could barely breathe.

Thorin sprung into action immediately. Ordering dwarves around, organising search parties. Fili could no longer hear what was going on around him. The roaring of blood in his ears was too loud. It was as if he was below water. Was he drowning?

                                                                                                                   oOo

With each passing day the hope of finding Kili dwindled. After that first night Fili became more resolved. He refused to feel the insurmountable pain he felt inside. Pushing it down until he could function normally again. He would find his brother. Kili hadn’t been found dead or alive. So there was still hope, no matter how small it was, that he was there somewhere. And he couldn’t find his brother if he let the pain swallow him up.

Thorin had sent patrols out to scout the area where Kili fell. No other wargs or orcs had been seen. So the one on the cliff had been a lone warg. Fili joined as many patrols as his uncle would allow him. He’d scream until his voice went hoarse. But still there was no sign of his brother.

The rain had eased off after the first couple of days. However, because of those downpours all traces of anything seemed to have washed away. No footprints or tracks. There didn’t seem to be anything other than the body of the warg. It was taken away and burned after that first day. There should have been something though. That was what was driving Fili insane. After a fall like that Kili shouldn’t have been able to get up for some time. And if he did manage to, why did he disappear? Why not seek Fili out? Something wasn’t right.

Today had yielded the same results as all the others. When he arrived back home he pushed the door open and swung his sword off his back with a grunt. He placed it on a rack by the door before continuing into the rooms. His room was right next to Kili’s. As he went to walk past he saw that the door to Kili’s bedroom was ajar. Fili tried to peer through the gap but couldn’t see enough. Gently he pushed the door. It revealed his Amad, curled up on Kili’s bed. One of Kili’s shirts was clutched in her hands, tight to her chest. She must have fallen asleep at some point.

Fili didn’t have the heart to wake her up. He did however take one of Kili’s blankets and drape it around her. Hopefully, it would keep the chill off of her while she slept. It could get quite cold inside a mountain.

Silently, Fili exited the room. Closing the door softly behind him. He was about to proceed to his own room when he heard a noise from the front room. Upon investigating he saw that it was his Uncle. He had his hands clasped behind his back.

“Any news?” Fili asked, hopefully.

Thorin shook his head a somber look in his eyes “No, not yet. But that’s not why I’m here”

Fili raised his eyebrows, confused.

Thorin took a deep breath to steady himself and then levelled his gaze at Fili. “It’s about the quest”

Fili’s pulse jumped and his stomach clenched. He had a bad feeling about this.

“With everything that has happened” Thorin continued “I can’t allow you to join the company”

Fili felt sick. He couldn’t do that. He had to go. Did Thorin think he wasn’t competent enough? Because he wasn’t fast enough to Kill that warg?... Because he wasn’t fast enough to save Kili?

Maybe he wasn’t worthy enough to go.

Could he protect a whole company if he couldn’t protect his baby brother?

“But Uncle” Fili started.

“No!” Thorin shouted, then he took a deep breath and his stoic demeanor returned “No Fili, this is for your Amad’s sake. She couldn’t handle losing anybody else right now. If you left for the quest it could really hurt her”

His tone left no room for argument. Fili was not going on the quest for Erebor.

 

Leah (England-Earth)

Several weeks flew by and Kili was getting more acclimated to life on Earth. After the sixth week Kili finally got to have his cast off. Which he was immensely grateful for. Apparently it had begun to itch like nobody’s business and Kili had threatened to cut his own arm off. A bit dramatic if you ask me. Kili was terrified by the saw but managed to make it through until the cast was completely off. He was incredibly happy to be able to move both of his arms freely once again.

I had introduced him to many different foods. Pizza seemed to be the biggest hit so far. I think the combo of cheese, bread and meat really sold it for him. He tried other foods too. Some more of a success than others. As a household we tended to forgo meat a few days a week. It’s supposed to be healthier that way. Much to Kili’s chagrin. Kili hadn’t been a fan of some of the vegetarian meals we had made for him. He kept insisting that they weren’t real food. I did manage to get him to eat some of the meals though. Forgetting to inform him of the lack of meat seemed to do the trick quite nicely.

Kili did like helping out with the cooking. Which I was quite happy about. Also surprised. I didn’t expect a prince to want to help out with preparing food. When I asked him about it he told me that his Amad never actually treated them like royalty and that he and his brother would get chores to do. His would more often than not be peeling vegetables. Apparently it was better than cleaning; which he made Fili do.

We decided to go for a little picnic at the park one day. The weather was nice and Anika really wanted to leave her uni accomodation for the day. All of us were supposed to bring some food with us. I decided I would make scotch eggs.

Kili was next to me in the kitchen. Offering his services. I had just finished boiling the eggs and they were ready to be peeled. 

“How good are you at peeling egg?” I said, offering him a boiled egg.

He placed his hand over his heart “I am an expert egg peeler” he said very self-assuredly.

He took the egg from me and began to peel. Not at all well. The poor egg was very smushed.

“Dude I thought you said you were good at this,” I said, a laugh creeping into my voice.

“I normally am. You must have different eggs here, that’s all” Said Kili, raising his nose in the air.

“Suure” I said, sarcastically.

I peeled the rest of them to avoid an egg armageddon. Kili was better at wrapping the eggs in sausage at least. Following my instructions. I scotched those eggs with the mastery of someone who had done this dozens of times yet still managed to make a fucking mess. The amount of washing we had to do afterwards was tear-inducing.

We had the picnic in a little park near my house. Quite a few other people had similar ideas. Eventually we found a good space near a tree. Kili was very eager to try the scotch eggs. I wouldn’t let him try one until we actually got here. Much to his disappointment. 

We had barely sat down and Kili was giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Fiine” I sighed, reaching into my back and drawing out the box full of scotch eggs “Here you go”

Kili gave me an exulted grin and dove in. He shoved as much in his mouth as possible before finally chewing. His face became an image of bliss and he sighed.

“Is it good? Is that a good sigh?” I asked. 

He didn’t even give himself a chance to speak, simply giving me a thumbs up and diving in to the rest of it. I’ll take that as a good sign.

“These are my new favourite thing” he said, mouth still full.

“I’m glad you like it” I said, biting into one of my own.

Anika had brought a lot of fruit with her. Apparently the fruit and veg market was having a big sale and she couldn’t resist. I didn’t mind though, I was happy enough munching on pineapple slices. Kili was enjoying them too. He was cheerfully eating his own pineapple slices when Anika decided to drop a bombshell.

“Hey Geri,” Anika piped up. The tone of her voice suggesting she was up to no good. “Did you know that pineapples are one of the only fruits that eats you back?” Her face gleeful as she popped another slice in her mouth.

“Oh don’t tell him that” I said, giving her a shove.

Kili froze, eyes wide, he still had a mouth still full of pineapple. “Wha”

“Yeah that’s why your tongue is sore after eating them,” I tried to cover her mouth before she could finish her sentence but you could still hear the muffled “it’s trying to dissolve your tongue” 

The damage was done and Kili looked mortified. He spat out the pineapple currently in his mouth and reached for a bottle of water in front of him. “I’m not dying am I?”

“No you’re not Kili” I reassured him, giving Anika another shove as she laughed behind her hand. “Anika’s just being an arsehole”

“So it isn’t true” Kili said, hopeful.

Ah. How do I explain this in a way that won’t make him terrified of pineapple?

“Well technically it’s true,” I admitted, “But you’re body is strong enough to fight it off, it’s more of a you eat it before it eats you kind of situation”

Oh god that explanation didn’t help at all. Kili surreptitiously moved the tub of pineapple further away from him. Distancing himself from the offending fruit. 

“I think I’ll just stick to apples” he mumbled.

                                                                                                                   oOo

Over time as Kili’s wounds healed he started to train with his sword. Being unable to for so long he was scared that he would be out of practice. Mum had caught him in the garden once when his cast was still on and his stitches hadn’t quite healed. She chastised him pretty hard and told him he wasn’t allowed to train until he was fully healed. Kili hadn’t been best pleased.

Now he was fully healed he was free to swing his sword around with reckless abandon if he so pleased. That’s what he was doing in that moment. I was in my room talking to Anika on the phone and I could see him in the garden below. I may have been staring. It was mesmerising to watch.

“Did you hear what I just said?” Anika’s voice came through my phone.

“Hmm, what?” I mumbled, still looking out of the window.

“I said, I’m gonna come round tonight with mum and dad while they do their wine night”

Anika’s parents were coming around later on tonight to hang out with mum. Evidently Anika was too.

“Oh right yeah that sounds good” I said.

Kili seemed to be winding down now. His swings becoming slower and less powerful. 

“I might bring something and we can do our own wine night, only sans wine because its nasty” she said.

I hummed agreement and I reached for the mug of tea resting on my window sill. I only managed a few sips before I nearly choked on the liquid. Kili had stopped his training now. HIs sword now rested on the ground. Sweat clung to his body. He then decided that it was the perfect moment to take his shirt off.

I felt my mouth go dry and my face heated at the sight. God damn, that should be illegal. I was suddenly hyper-aware of the dwarf in front of me. He was barrel chested with defined muscles. There was a good amount of hair dusting his chest and arms. My heartbeat quickened. Apparently I’m quite a fan of chest hair. He also had a trail of hair that led down to. No. No. Not gonna think about that.

I turned away from the window, hand rubbing down my face. Purer thoughts, I needed some purer thoughts.

“Holy shit” I whispered “That shouldn’t be allowed”

“What, what happened?” said Anika, sounding intrigued.

“There is a shirtless dwarf in my garden” I said, insistently. 

I peeked back outside and saw that he was still there. He had started to wipe the sweat off his body with the shirt. This was getting obscene.

“Holy shit, Is he fit?”

“Let’s just say I’m struggling to look directly at him,” I said.

“Arr, you should send me a picture” Anika said.

“No, you perv I’m not sending you a picture” I said, turning away from the window.

“How am I the perv when you’re ogling him from your window” she laughed.

“I’m not ogling” I whispered forcefully. 

I was merely looking out of my window. Enjoying the view. It’s not my fault that a half naked dwarf happened to be outside. I turned back towards the window and peered down. Kili had now stopped and was looking upwards towards my window. I made a high pitched squealing noise and dropped to my knees. Oh shit did he see me. Why am I so embarrassing? 

I reached up on my knees, slowly, so that only my eyes and nose were visible through the window. Cautiously, I glanced out of the window. Kili had indeed seen me. The boy had a wide grin on his face and was waving at me. 

Surrendering to my embarrassment I waved back. 

                                                                                                                         oOo

Steve, Katherine and Anika came around later that day. I had mostly gotten over my embarrassment. Even with Kili occasionally smirking at me. The smug dwarf. 

Mum greeted everyone at the door with a hug before moving into the living room. There was soft music playing in the background. Steve was a middle aged man with tanned skin. He was bald but still had a full face of stubble. A pair of thick framed glasses rested on his nose. Katherine was only a little bit taller than me. Her hair was a deep brown and swept down her back. She was reasonably curvy and gave the best hugs. Mum-shaped, as Anika would say.

“I brought a Ros é for Katherine and some real wine for us,” said Steve, holding up two bottles of wine. His smooth American twang was very relaxing to listen to.

“Oh shut up you, not all of us are big wine drinkers. Some have to dilute it with lemonade” Said Katherine, taking a seat on the settee.

Steve gasped, hand over his chest “What you drink is sprite, I will not have you blaspheme about real lemonade this way”

Katherine simply laughed and made herself more comfy on the chair. Anika then came up next to me and rested an elbow against my shoulder. She angled a bottle towards me.

“I brought some pink gin and a few ciders because I have taste,” said Anika.

“I heard that” emanated from the kitchen door where Steve had just gone through.

We decided to chill upstairs for a bit to give the parents some time for themselves. It was supposed to be their wine night after all not ours. Kili tried some gin but then admitted that he didn’t really like it. The ciders went down well though. We mainly just sat in my room with a few drinks. Music played in the background. It was Anika’s choice at the moment. For some reason she decided that now was the perfect time to teach Kili how to floss.

“When you stick your arms out like this” she demonstrated with her own “You also move your hips in the other direction”.

Kili was concentrating very hard. Trying to figure out which way he was supposed to move. He was currently struggling with syncing up his arms with his hips. I was sat crossed legged on the floor, giggling at the whole affair. Sometimes I would give advice about where his arms should go. After a little while the guy was a pro. Flossing with the best of them.

Anika and I slowly got more tipsy while Kili remained annoyingly sober. All of us had ended up sitting crossed legged in a circle on my floor. We were cracking up at the smallest things. At some point we had decided to quote obscure videos at each other. Much to Kili’s confusion.

“You want to bloody chug-a-lug a $30 bottle of wine” I said in a very slurred, very bad australian accent.

“It’s about respect, you’ve got to respect the wine” Anika replied in an equally bad accent. Moving her glass around haphazardly, the liquid just about staying in the glass.

Kili looked between us, his eyebrows drew together. “I thought you were drinking gin, why are you talking about wine?”

Reaching up towards him, I slowly stroked my hand down his face. Nearly poking him in the eye. “Shhhhh, don’t worry about it”.

My hand lingered a bit too long on his lips. They were very soft. Just as I realised this, Kili had gently grabbed my wrist and removed my hand from his face.

“Thanks for that” he grinned. 

My wrist was still in his hand. His thumb rubbed against my pulse point sending what felt like small electric shocks down my arm. I beamed back at him, his smile was infectious. I could feel a slight pink tinge to my cheeks.

That’s when the song changed and Anika began to freak out.

“Holy Shit! I haven’t heard this in years” she said, clambering to her feet and dragging me up with her. Kili dropped my hand as I stood up.

We started to sing along, interspersed with some terrible dance moves

_ Smooth talkin', so rockin' _

_ He's got everything that a girl's wantin' _

_ He's a cutie, he plays it groovy _

_ And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid _

 

_ Think I'm really fallin' for his smile _

_ Yeah, butterflies when he says my name _

_ Hey! _

I looked to Kili, his smile was huge. It sent me butterflies of my own. He was still sat down with a bottle of cider in his hand. I reached my hand down towards him, wanting him to join in. He waited a second before grabbing my hand and standing up. We were nearly nose to nose. His eyes were a warm brown, looking straight at me. I felt my breath catch. Then he moved away and joined in the dancing.

_ He's got somethin' special _

_ He's got somethin' special _

_ And when he's lookin' at me _

_ I wanna get all sentimental _

 

_ He's got somethin' special _

_ He's got somethin' special _

_ I can hardly breathe somethin's tellin' me _

_ Tellin' me maybe he could be the one _

 

Once the song finished we were all out of breath. We all plonked back down onto the floor. Laughing to ourselves. Anika reached for her drink and realised it was empty.

“Time for a refill, me thinks,” she said and made to get up.

Good idea. We all decided to head back down stairs with her. Anika and I being a bit too giggly on the stairs. When we reached the bottom we could hear the conversation in the living room.

“I thought this was a book club anyway, I thought we were cultured” That was Steve.

We reached the bottom then and turned the corner. Katherine snorted “Cultured, this has always been an excuse to drink wine and you know it”

Mum was on the settee parallel to the kitchen, a pleasant smile on her face. “No no Kath let’s hear him out” said Mum, taking a sip of wine “So what books have you read recently Steve”

Steve seemed to go shy then and he took a big drink “debastyio o baaa” his voice muffled by the drink.

“What was that?” Katherine laughed.

Steve took a big sigh “It was The Devastation of Baal… It’s Warhammer” he added when he got blank looks.

“I thought you said you were cultured” said Katherine.

Steve gasped, hand covering his chest “I am” he said with dignity “Let me tell you about Dante and the Blood angels and maybe you’ll understand”

He took another big sip of wine “He saw the sanguinor Katherine it was very moving. You had to be there”.

They saw us then making our way to the kitchen. Steve gave us a little nod, Mum and Katherine said hi.

Kili was in front of us and he leaned down towards my mum. “These two can’t hold their liquor very well, I think they need some water”

I gasped “Traitor”.

Mum looked to me then back up to Kili “Water is probably a good idea”

“Hey I think Anika said something about you, it’s Jerry right?” said Steve.

For god sake Anika. I slapped her around the shoulder but she just laughed.

“No that’s just the nickname Anika gave him, his actual name is Kili...Short for Killian” I said remembering the fake name we gave him. 

“Killian, that’s a strong name” he said, nodding his head.

“Kili is staying with us while he finds his feet” said Mum “He hasn’t got any family here, so we’re helping him”

Steve and Katherine considered this for a second. I hope they didn’t start picking holes in our explanation. Our fake story wasn’t exactly watertight.

Steve smiled “Don’t be saying that around this one” he pointed to Katherine “She’ll start trying to adopt you”

Katherine swatted his hand away “Ignore him, he thinks he’s being funny”.

Anika and her parents stayed for a little bit longer before deciding to call it a night. Thankfully they only lived around the corner so they were walking home. As we were hugging everyone goodbye- even Kili got hugs- Steve invited us all to dinner at their house next week. They were doing a Korean night for Kyo and the more the merrier apparently. We said we would go.

                                                                                                                      oOo

The week went by very fast. Before we knew it, it was the day of the dinner at Anika’s house. Mum unfortunately had to work tonight. There was an event that she had to oversee. That left just me and Kili to go to the meal. I decided to dress up a little bit. Even though it was only Anika’s house and I’d been there a million times. If you have an excuse, why not flaunt it? 

The outfit ended up consisting of a baby pink top covered in butterflies, a corduroy skirt in a slightly different shade of pink and to top it all off a pink jacket. I called it the pink monstrosity.

When I came down the stairs I saw Kili sat down. He was wearing the blue hawaiaan shirt and the blue trousers with the flowers on. It seemed the pink monstrosity had a new adversary. The blue monstrosity has stepped into the ring.

I spread my arms wide to show off my outfit. Doing a little spin to get the full effect. “Hey Kili, guess what my favourite colour is”

Kili looked at me and raised an eyebrow “I know you want me to say pink but I know for a fact you’ve already told me that it’s blue”

“Arrr you ruined my joke” I said, fake sulking.

Kili just laughed at me.

We were walking to Anika’s house. When we left the house Kili stopped. He extended his elbow towards me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“May I escort the Lady to her dinner?” said Kili, his voice sounding more posh. 

I gave him a look before slipping my arm through his “You may” I said in an equally posh voice.

So we walked to Anika’s house like that. Arms linked together. Anika was the one who answered the door and she raised her eyebrows at us.

“Jesus Christ, what are you guys wearing?” she asked.

She should speak for herself though. She was wearing a yellow jumper tucked into a yellow skirt.

“Evidently we all decided that monochrome was the best choice today” I said, pointing to each of our clothes “We could make a rainbow”

“Pink isn’t in the rainbow” Anika laughed.

“Well it is in mine” I said, walking into her house.

I could hear the ruckus already. Having such a big family did not make for a quiet home. It did make for a fun one though. I grinned to myself as I saw everyone in the living room. At least four kids and two adults were playing on the floor. 

There was Rosie, who was 7. She had very curly hair that was bright red. A smattering of freckles on her face. Originally she had been a foster child but had been adopted by Steve and Katherine afterwards. Then there was Layla, she was 5. Her hair was a mousy brown and currently in pigtails. She was a grandchild. Next was baby Leo, also a grandchild. He was nearly 2.  Lastly there was Arjun, he was 4. He had dark brown hair that matched his skin tone. Arjun was the newest foster child.

Steve was currently lying on the floor with Leo in his hands. Lifting him up into the air to make him laugh. Rosie and Layla had also started to dive on him. Sarah, Steve’s second oldest, was on the floor too. Trying to wrangle the kids up. Arjun was in his own corner. Happily playing with his blocks. He was deeply focused on putting all of his blocks into lines.

There were many adults dotted around the settees as well. I could see Isaiah with his boyfriend sitting close together, hands joined. Oh I wonder how Sean’s introduction to the family went I had forgotten to ask. Then again a lot of things happened during that time, you couldn’t really blame me too much. I assume it went well if he’s still here. Lewis and his wife were there too.  Lewis was the eldest of Anika’s siblings and father to Layla. 

I waved as I walked in and everyone greeted me back. Steve was still getting attacked by children when someone called for him from the kitchen.

“Ah my services are required,” he said, placing Leo back down. His little lip started quivering as his grandad had to leave. 

“Don’t be sad, Leo. Your Mom is behind you, you can play with her” Steve pointed to Sarah.

Leo looked to his Mum but didn’t stop looking sad. “I’m telling you he never wants me” said Sarah. Then she crept forwards and tickled Leo “You never want mummy do you”

Leo started laughing then and Steve took that as his cue to leave. Rosie got up off of the floor and made her way over to me. I was then left a little winded as she charged at me to give me a hug.

“Look how tall I’m getting” said Rosie “I’m nearly as big as you”

“Yeah that’s not hard Rosie” said Anika, patting my head.

Rosie then noticed Kili and became a little shy. She gave him a small wave and said hi.

“This is Kili” I explained. “He’s a friend”

“Hi Kili!” exclaimed Rosie, suddenly excited again.

Kili waved back with equal enthusiasm. At the same time I saw Anika sneak up to baby Leo. She got up behind him without him realising and then she picked him up very fast. The sudden motion made him laugh. Anika then made her way over to us.

“Hey kidder” I said, poking his little cheeks. Babies man, they were the cutest things ever.

Leo looked from me to Kili. Then levelled a tiny hand at Kili. “Eh da?”

“Who’s that?” Anika asked. 

Leo replied with the same noises. “That’s Kili. Can you say Kili?”

“Keewi” he said in the cutest voice imaginable.

Then Leo started to lean out of Anika’s arms. Reaching towards Kili. Clear that he now wanted to be held by the dwarf instead. Kili opened his arms and picked up the baby. Leo stared into his soul in the way only a baby can. Then a big toothy grin spread across his face.

“Well aren’t you a cute little pebble” said Kili, smiling back.

My heart sung. I don’t know what it is but men being good with babies did something to me. Well a dwarf in this case.

“That’s it now Kili, you’re not gonna be able to get rid of him,” said Sarah, from the floor.

That turned out to be true. Leo refused to leave Kili’s lap and Kili had to sit on the floor with him. This caused the other children to migrate towards him. Something about Kili seemed to attract small children towards him. Rosie and Layla kept asking him random questions like “what’s your favourite number?” Even Arjun came over and handed Kili one of his blocks.

Soon the food was done and everyone piled into the dining room. There was quite a large table so that everyone could fit around it. Leo was sad that he had to leave Kili but was soon placacted when he had food. 

The kids who were a bit fussy were going to have sandwiches instead. Katherine was next to Arjun asking what filling he wanted.

“Do you want chicken?” she mimed a chicken’s beak with her finger and thumb next to her face “Or cheese?” she lay one hand flat, palm up, and the other hand pointed down onto it. sort of like an upside down ‘T’.

Arjun replied by spreading his hand wide and moving it under his chin from right to left.

“No you’re not having any fruit yet, that can be after your dinner” she said. Her hands forming signs at the same time.

Arjun was non verbal meaning that he doesn’t speak. He can still hear perfectly fine but he used Makaton and BSL to speak mostly. Anika had taught me a few signs so I could understand him a little better.

Steve then came into the dining room, arms ladled with bowls. Kyo was in tow, carrying things as well. She was 15 and was originally born in South Korea. That’s why they were doing a Korean food night, so she didn’t lose touch with her culture. She had sleek black hair that was currently tied in a high ponytail.

“Right so we have some bulgogi and rice,” he said placing the plates down into the middle of the table “And some Tteokbokki”

“That pronunciation was terrible” Kyo laughed “It’s more of a ‘P’ sound in the middle anyway”

Steve looked confused “Then why is there a ‘B’ in there”

Kyo just shrugged. Then she seemed to remember something “Oh there are two different Tteokbokki” she said, pronouncing it correctly “Steve put too much gochugaru in one so it may be too spicy”

“I’m a tough guy I can handle it” said Steve.

Turns out he wasn’t as tough as he thought he was. He ended up being quite red faced and had to make a dash to the fridge for milk. Apparently he “overestimated his power”. Kili wasn’t too bad with the spice. Though he didn’t try the really hot one. He told me that merchants would sometimes journey from the East bringing spices. So it wasn’t an entirely new flavour.

                                                                                                                    oOo

After we were done eating Anika invited us to chill in her room. She shared it with Kyo but Kyo didn’t mind. They only have to share the room when Anika is back from uni usually. When we got to the room I saw him. The one. The Floof. The legend.

“Archimedes!” I gushed, rushing over to the fluffiest cat ever. 

He was black and white, stretching across Anika’s bed. He was probably hiding from the masses downstairs. I ran my hands through his soft fur. A loud purr emanating from his body.

“Look at you, Mr. Handsome. My beautiful shnookums” I jabbered into the cat’s face.

“You never talk to me like that,” said Kili, an amused grin on his face.

I told him to shush and carried on mauling the cat.

We all ended up either perched on a bed or sitting on the floor. I was sitting on the floor with Archimedes on my lap. Kyo was asking questions about Kili and we answered them to the best of our ability.

“So do you have any siblings?” Kyo asked.

Kili smiled though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He must miss his brother a lot. “Yes I have a brother”

“His name is Phillip” I said, coming up with something on the spot “Fili for short”

That made Kili laugh “Yes, Fili for short”.

Anika was leaning over the side of her bed. When she got back upright she had a large shiny bag in her hands. 

“I think we should do some make-overs” she exclaimed gleefully.

“Are you 12?”I asked, smirking.

She flipped me off and told me to shut up “Now get over here and put some glittery eyeshadow on your face.”

So a make-over then proceeded. We were eventually joined by an excitable Rosie and Layla. Also wanting make-up done. Kili wasn’t exempt either. I don’t think the poor boy had much chance to escape. He was allowed to choose the colours at least. Kyo was currently brushing his face with some type of powder while Anika was painting his nails.

He was looking a bit flustered with all the attention. I was putting some eyeshadow on Rosie when he coughed pointedly.

“I’ve never actually had this many girls pay attention to me before,” he confessed.

“Seriously” said Anika in an astonished tone.

“Err yeah, where I’m from I’m not considered very good looking so I don’t get much female attention” said Kili, with a nervous laugh.

That shocked me. How could someone as good looking as Kili ever be considered unattractive? Those dwarrowdams don’t know what they’re missing out on.

Everyone else also seemed shocked. “I think the people you’ve been hanging out with are blind” said Anika.

“Yeah you’re pretty” said Kyo as she swept make up across Kili’s cheek bones.

“Do you think Kili is pretty, Rosie?” I asked 

She nodded eagerly and smiled at Kili. The poor boy had gone bright red at all the attention.

“See” I said knocking his shoulder with mine “Everyone here thinks you are good looking”

“Oh everyone does do they?” he said looking pointedly at me.

My cheeks heated up a little. “Yes” I said quickly avoiding eye contact.

It wasn’t long until all our make-up was completed. Kili kept blinking and trying to rub his eyes. Anika kept slapping his hand away so he didn’t ruin it. Everyone had to get in on the honorary selfie. After we were finished it was time to head home. Kili escorted me once again and we made it home in no time.

 I gave Kili some face wipes to get rid of the make-up. It definitely wasn’t his thing. I’m happy that he tried it at least. He had started to take off the make-up with the wipes but he was struggling.

“Here” I said, reaching for the wipes “Let me help”

I took one of the wipes and began moving it around his face, over his eyes, his mouth. He was looking at me the whole time a smile on his face. My face heated under his intense gaze but I persevered. He was so close we were almost chest to chest. It made my heart rate pick up and my stomach felt like a butterfly sanctuary.

“So is it true then?” I asked “Are you not considered attractive by dwarf standards”

He sighed “Pretty much. Most dams seem to prefer dwarves that are shorter and bulkier. Beards are also a big part of it”

“You’re beards coming in more these days” I said, poking his chin.

It was true. Apparently beard oil can do something. His beard was definitely thicker and longer than it had been. 

Kili reached up and grabbed my hand and smiled at me “I guess you’re right”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know what the video was they were quoting it's 'Haven't you done well 6 by Aunty Donna'  
> He could be the one- Hannah Montana


	8. Grab me by my ankles

Uni became very stressful. With it nearing the end of the year I had a million deadlines and exams to prepare for. I was hardly ever at home during this time. If I wasn’t at a lecture I was in the library. Even though I did have a laptop at home, I had never been able to actually write essays there. I would just get distracted and never finish it. It didn’t help that there was currently the biggest distraction ever staying at my house. Whenever Kili was around I couldn’t concentrate on my work. He would see how stressed I was and try to make me smile instead. It helped me feel better but it didn’t help the work get done.

Slowly the work managed to get done. It soon came to my last exam, the one I had been dreading the most. It was my developmental psychology module and I despised it with every fibre of my being. Well that was probably a little harsh but in that moment I despised it wholeheartedly. The content was boring and the lecturer was a pretentious knob. He was the kind of person that says “I only give firsts to people who teach me something new”. Like this is your area of expertise, you douche canoe, how am I supposed to teach you anything? As you could probably tell there were a few hard feelings towards the subject.

On the day of the exam I was sat at my dining room table. There was revision notes strewn across the whole surface. My head was on the table, hiding my face from the world. If I got up I would have to face the day and my exam. I would have to eventually but for now I chose to hide.

Mum came up behind me and rubbed my back.

“Come on Leah, we both know that you’re gonna do great. You stress like this every year and you still manage to get good grades” she said comfortingly.

“Maybe this is my process” I said, my voice muffled by the table “This is how I deal with exams”

Mum lifted some of my hair up and put it behind my ear. Now she could see my face. “It’s not healthy though, you’re going to make yourself sick darling”

I looked up at her with a sad pout “I’m not made for this world Mum” I said “Education will be the death of me”

I returned my head to the table. Accidently banging my forehead. Ow. After a few seconds I heard a concerned voice to my right

“Are you okay?”

It was Kili’s voice. I straightened up and flicked the hair out of my eyes. He had a worried expression on his face.

“Never better” I said in a fake happy voice.

“You don’t seem it” he said, sitting down next to me. He moved a few pieces of notes so he had some space in front of him.

Mum leaned down next to Kili and informed him about my impending exam. He nodded in understanding.

“I’m sure you’ll be brilliant Leah” he said putting a hand on my shoulder.

I simply pulled my face, not believing him. Kili laughed and poked my cheek.

“Don’t make that face” he said “You know I’m not lying.”

I swatted his hand away but it made me smile nonetheless. Next thing I knew Kili’s face lit up as if he had an idea. He reached across the table and picked up a stray pen. Then he grabbed my right arm and rolled up the sleeve of my cardigan. 

“What are you doing?” I asked

The scars from the warg were there, slightly raised against the rest of the skin. Kili ran his finger down one when he saw them. Looking deep in thought. It sent shivers up my arm. Then he flipped my arm over to show the underside, where there wasn’t any scarring. Kili then took the pen and began to write something on my arm. The pen strokes tickled slightly but it felt nice.

Once he was done he moved his hands away. I looked down to try and read what he had written. It wasn’t english though. Kili had written some kind of runes on my arm. Probably Khuzdul. 

“Masul gabil khayum ai-mênu” he said, his voice slightly rougher from the Khuzdul.

Oh my god. He should definitely speak in Khuzdul more often. The huskier tone of his voice was very satisfying to listen to.

“What does it mean?” I asked, my finger hovering over the writing.

“It means ‘good luck and may victory be upon you’” he said “It’s sort of like a good luck charm”.

My heart soared. I cannot handle this boy.

“Aww Kili I don’t know what to say” why did I feel like I was choking up?

“It’s supposed to help you. With your exam” he said, suddenly a bit shy.

Without warning him I wrapped my arms around him. Attacking him with a hug. I buried my head in his shoulder and muffled a thank you. Kili seemed shocked for a second but then returned the hug in kind. One hand was around my back and the other one was in my hair. It felt so right being in his arms. Like home. 

After a few moments I realised that I was probably being weird and backed away.

“Sorry, I just attacked you” I mumbled.

“You can attack me anytime Leah” He winked.

Obviously I had to cover my arm up when I went into the exam hall. If any of the invigilators saw it they would probably accuse me of cheating. So I kept my cardigan sleeves rolled down. Though I did touch it. When I would forget something I would reach over and trace my hand over the words. It helped me calm down and I would be able to carry on with the exam.

                                                                                                            oOo

Soon my second year of university came to a close. There would be three months of respite before I had to return there. Third year probably wouldn’t be fun at all. I pushed it into the back of my mind and refused to think about it. 

With my term coming to an end so did everyone else's. Anika moved back home for the summer and my other friends from college moved back too. Most of my other friends had moved away to different universities. We kept in contact via group chats but we hadn’t seen each other in a while. They decided that we should all meet up together and catch up. We were just going to go to the local pub and have a few drinks. Nothing too big.

Even though it was supposed to be a friends reunion, I wanted Kili to come too. I’m sure my friends wouldn’t mind too much. Decision made I walked over to Kili’s bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open to reveal the room. Kili was at a desk looking very focused on what he was doing. Some swaths of leather were in front of him. He had been very excited about buying them when we went into a craft store one time. Apparently he was quite good at leather work.

I knocked on the open door when it looked like he hadn’t heard me. Kili spun around quickly, his eyes widening when he saw me. He then proceeded to hurriedly push things away from him. As if he got caught doing something he shouldn’t. Then he leaned his elbow against the desk and rested his chin on it.

“That wasn’t suspicious at all,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m not suspicious, who said anything about suspicious?” he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him but decided not to push him more. I’m sure at some point he’ll tell me what he’s up to.

“A group of my old college friends wanted to meet up tonight” I said, hand tracing the patterns on the door frame. 

“Would you like to come with me?” I asked, turning back to face him

Kili didn’t take long to reply “Of course I would” he said with a smile.

So Kili tagged along with me. I helped him choose something less conspicuous to wear. A blue, button up shirt and his one pair of black trousers. He raised an eyebrow at me when I told him to tuck the shirt in and roll the sleeves up.

“Just do it” I urged.

Kili didn’t make a move to do anything “Why would I need to do that?”

I reached for one of his arms and started to roll the sleeves up myself. Do I have to do everything around here? KIli just let me do my thing. I rolled both sleeves up so that they were semi neat. 

“I’m not tucking your shirt in for you” I said, levelling a look at him.

Kili merely smirked “Why not? you’ve done everything else”

I told him to shut up and eventually he reluctantly followed my instructions. Mumbling about how he couldn’t see how it would make a difference. When he was finished he spread his arms out so I could see the whole look.

“Happy now” he said.

Holy Fuck. The shirt was molded to his body perfectly. With it tucked in you could see just how muscular he was. I don’t know why but rolling the sleeves up just made the look even better. This dwarf was too attractive for his own good.

After a while I realised that I had been staring and that I hadn’t actually replied to him. When I looked back up to him he had the biggest grin on his face.

“It’s adequate” I mumbled, looking away.

                                                                                                                oOo

We arrived at the pub a little after 7. Most of my friends were already there. They’d managed to snatch the big table in the corner. I sat down next to Anika and Kili sat down next to me. Kili sat very close. Almost shoulder to shoulder. You couldn’t really blame him, he was surrounded by a bunch of people he didn’t know. I did feel better about inviting Kili along when I saw that Jane had invited her boyfriend. Collin. No one liked Collin but we were nice and didn’t tell Jane that none of us actually wanted him here. He wasn’t bad per say he was just annoying. Annoyingly normal when our friend group was just that little bit weird.

Once everyone arrived we got a round of drinks in. Anika and I ended up with cocktail pitchers. They were tasty and they had like 3 drinks worth of liquid in. Win win if you ask me. Kili tried some beer but by the look on his face it wasn’t a good choice. He mumbled something about this world having awful taste in ale. I gave him some of my cocktail to shut him up. The beer may be bad but a purple rain never will.

My friends took to Kili quite well, which made me happy. When he would occasionally say something that didn’t quite make sense most of them just rolled with it. It’s not as if our friend group never said anything that didn’t make sense. Speaking of, Francis was currently talking about something weird.

“Right guys, concept” he had his hands up in the air to cement his point “An ice cream van where the song only plays when it’s travelling over 30 miles per hour”.

“What so like when it’s speeding down a road everyone can hear but then it’s already gone?” Said Josh, eyebrows raised.

“Exactly” said Francis, a stupid grin on his face.

I decided to add my own input “Danger cream”

Everyone started laughing but Josh put his head in his hands.

“Please for the love of god never say that again,” he said from his hands.

“Hey you can’t censor her” Anika said, having my back.

“Yeah you can’t censor me” I laughed.

Kili gave me a confused look and it made me laugh more. I patted his arm and told him not to worry about it. Looking down, I realised that my drink was empty. I leaned down towards Kili and asked him if he wanted to share the next one. He agreed wholeheartedly, not wanting to chance another beer.

Everyone else still had some drinks left so I went to get up on my own. It wouldn’t take long anyway. Getting up from my chair I made my way over to the bar. Just as I was about to approach a bartender I felt a tight grip on my arm and I was yanked to the side. A hand was squeezing my upper arm. Panic sprung up. My heart beat rising furiously. I struggled trying to wrench myself out of the grip but without successful. When I saw who was holding me I stopped moving.

“Ethan?” I asked, shakily 

He towered over me, with him being over 6ft tall. His hair was a dirty blonde and he was quite gangly. Even so he had a surprising strength. His grip had started to hurt. 

He was my ex boyfriend. One that I would prefer to forget existed. Originally he was part of our friend group. He was funny and kind. At least I thought he was. As soon as we started going out he started to show his true colours. I finally realised what kind of person he was when he got angry at me for refusing to sleep with him. Apparently because we were dating I was obliged to lose my virginity to him. Ethan disgusted me. And I hate to admit it but I was also a bit scared of him. 

“Let go of me” I hissed through my teeth, trying to yank my arm away from him.

He finally let me go. Raising both hands up in a very sarcastic ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ kind of way. “I was only saying hello Leah” his voice was slurred.

He was drunk. You could tell by his slurred words and the way he was swaying slightly. It wasn’t even 8 o’clock yet what the fuck.

“I saw you with that… guy” he said “You were all cosying up together”

Obviously he meant Kili. Ethan already knew everyone else at the table ad Kili was the person I was sat closest to. I looked around trying to catch the eye of anyone. No one was really looking. From this angle you couldn’t see my table either. I felt sick, I just wanted to get away. Surreptitiously, I started to back away from him. That seemed to make him angry and he stormed forward. Until he leered over me and grabbed both my arms.

“Fuck Off, Ethan!” I yelled trying to push him away.

“So is he your new boyfriend” he continued.

Bringing up my knee, I tried to kick him where it hurts. I missed but it shocked him enough to step back a bit. Just as he stepped back he was pushed bodily out of the way and into a wall. Kili was there. Looking more angry than I’d ever seen him. His jaw was clenched so tightly and his hands were balled up into fists. Upon seeing him I nearly cried in relief.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are but I think you should leave” Kili said through gritted teeth. I think that’s the first time I’d heard Kili swear.

Ethan had recovered and he seemed even more angry. He swayed back over to us. It made me stumble back, until I was behind Kili. Ethan leaned down, trying to get into Kili’s face.

“So this is him then, some sort of midget” he straightened back up then probably in a bid to intimidate Kili “Tell me midget. Does she let you fuck her?”

Kili striked. He hit where I had missed earlier. Ethan went down like a bag of rocks. Pain clear on his face. Kili wasn’t finished though. As soon as he went down and they were at eye level Kili slammed his head into Ethan’s nose. Ethan was on the floor, with blood streaming from a broken nose. 

Kili wrapped his arm around my shoulders and began leading me away as fast as he could. Anika was suddenly in front of us. She had our coats in her hand and she looked alarmed.

“We need to go now I think a security guard is coming,” she said.

So all three of us hurriedly made our way outside. We walked a couple of streets to put distance between us and the pub. The panic had gotten a bit too much for me and a few sobs started to escape my throat. Kili realised first because he was closest to me. He opened his arms as an invitation and I fell into them. Wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. I buried my face in his shoulder and let out a few tears. Why did that have to happen tonight? I was having a good time. Why did Ethan have to be such a disgusting prick?

I could hear Kili saying something to comfort me but I couldn’t quite understand the words. His hand was rubbing my back reassuringly. Anika’s was too. After a little bit I calmed down enough to stop crying. I lifted my head up from Kili’s shoulder. There was tear stains on his shirt. Kili let me go but he still held onto me at arms length.

“Who was that man Leah and why was he hurting you?” Kili implored.

I didn’t know if I could speak properly in that moment. Still just getting over my bout of crying. Anika thankfully came to my rescue.

“His name is Ethan and he’s the biggest Dickhead ever. He used to be her boyfriend.” Anika said, disgust evident in her voice.

Kili’s eyebrows drew together “You used to court him?”

“I wouldn’t call it that” I said, wobbly.

“Yeah he was nice to begin with but then he started getting creepy and demanding she have sex with him, he’s like a fucking incel or something” Anika spat.

Kili’s mouth turned down in disgust, he seemed to be unable to form a sentence. His mouth opening and closing. “I’ve never heard of someone treating a female that way, it’s repulsive. If anyone ever treated a dwarrowdam like that they’d lose their head.”

That was comforting to hear. At least dwarves treated women well.  

“Thank you Kili, you have no idea how grateful I am for what you did” I said 

“Also” I said, a small smile pulling at the corners of my mouth “I think that was one of the most badass things I’ve ever seen.”

                                                                                                                  oOo

We made it back to my house not long after that. My friends did message us to find out what had happened. They were also angry about what had happened. Some of them tried to apologise but I told them I was fine. It wasn’t their fault that Ethan showed up.

Mum was very concerned when I got home. She could see that I had red eyes from crying and that there were spots of blood on Kili’s shirt. It was a nice shirt. It didn’t deserve this. Mum rushed over immediately, checking both of us over. When I told her what had happened Mum’s face changed from worried to down right incensed. I’m pretty certain that she was capable of murder in that moment. She hated Ethan with all her being after what happened when we were together. I just about convinced her not to go and stab him in the eye. Kili wasn’t too helpful in that regard. He was down to murder as much as Mum was. They seemed to be corralling each other. Eventually everyone settled down. No future killing plans in the works. I hope.

                                                                                                               oOo 

When I woke up the next day I saw that a big bruise had started to develop on my right arm. Where Ethan’s hand had dug in. You could see imprints of fingers. The sight made me sick and angry. How dare he do that to me? I wanted this to never happen again. If I was more prepared maybe I could have fought him off on my own. Seeing Kili take him down so easily was amazing. Maybe he could help me. Teach me a few moves.

I made my way over to his door and knocked on. It took a few moments but eventually he opened the door. He was yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Leah, what can I do for you?” said Kili, a yawn still evident in his voice.

“Erm I was wondering” I said, my thumb worrying the palm of the other hand “Could you, maybe, teach me some self defence?”

His eyebrows rose slightly “Like fighting?”

I nodded back at him. Kili’s hand drew up to his face and rubbed his chin. “I’m not sure if I’d be the best teacher I’ve never had to teach someone before,” he said.

I looked away then, a little downtrodden. “It’s okay” I mumbled.

“No, no, don’t worry I’ll do it” he said quickly “I’ll help you as much as I can”

I looked back up at him and smiled “Thank you so much Kili”

                                                                                                                oOo

Both of us ended up outside in the garden. I don’t think Mum would have appreciated it if i slam dunked Kili into a settee. That was probably too ambitious if I’m being honest. Maybe one day I'll be able to successfully slam dunk someone. But probably not today.

Kili was dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. I was in a pair of sports leggings and a tank top. Kili raised his eyebrows a little at my ensemble but he didn’t make a comment. He did however comment on the bruise that had formed on my arm.

“Is that from yesterday?” he asked, hand ghosting over the bruise.

I pulled away from him and covered the injury with my hand. For some reason I was embarrassed by Kili looking at it. Which was silly. I knew Kili wouldn’t judge me.

“I can’t believe he did that to you” he spat “That spineless, beardless, Abrâfu shaikmashâz!”

He had gotten angry enough that Khuzdul was slipping out. I had no idea what it meant but it sounded like an insult. It made me want to learn some dwarven insults. I bet they had some good ones.

“It’s the reason I want to learn how to fight properly” I said, trying to calm him “Then one day I’ll be able to kick his ass”

                                                                                                                 oOo

Firstly he told me that we needed to warm up. He put me through my paces. Stretching, running up and down the garden. I got very out of breath and we hadn’t even officially started. 

After I caught my breath again Kili began with the lesson. To begin with he was teaching me how to punch properly. 

“Now you never put your thumb inside your fist” he said, folding my hand until it made a fist.

I nodded, I knew that much at least. No thumbs will be broken today. At least I hope not.

We started out by doing a few simple punches. A pillow was used in place of one of those pad things that you’re supposed to use. Kili would hold up the pillow for me to hit. He would then critique my punches. Correcting my position, or my stance, or the speed I moved my fists.

Next he tried to teach me how to get out of holds. Kili had grabbed my wrist tightly in his hand.

“Right now try and get out of my grip” He said, smoothly.

I started pulling my hand away. Gritting my teeth. No matter how hard I pulled I couldn’t pull my arm away. I let out a frustrated growl. Kili laughed at that and let my hand go.

“Try it on me” He said, offering his hand out.

“Alright then,” I said, grabbing his arm by the wrist. 

My hand didn’t quite fit around it. Damn my small hands. Even so, I gripped as tightly as I could. I nodded to Kili signaling him to start. With one simple movement of his arm he had broke free from my grip.

“That’s not fair” I made a face at him, “My hands are too small”

Kili laughed “Stop making a sad face Leah. It’s not because of your small hands, it’s a technique. Here let me show you”

He picked my wrist back up. “It doesn’t matter how big my hand is you can still get out of this hold”

I looked at where he held my arm, waiting for him to continue.

“Right now move your wrist and line up your thumb with where mine is”

I did as he said with a little effort. “Like that?” I asked.

“Yes exactly, now pull your arm towards your chest quickly”

It worked! My wrist slid out of his grip and I stumbled backwards a little. I may have given a little victory ‘woohoo’. 

“You see where my thumb and finger are is the weakest point so if you pull that way you can break the hold” he explained.

We did it a few more times to demonstrate that I could do it. 

                                                                                                                oOo

These little training sessions became a new regular thing. I was excited to learn self defence and Kili seemed very happy to teach me. He taught me many different things. At one point he even got his dagger out and gave me some pointers on knife skills. He told me the best way to stand and how to throw my weight behind a strike. While it was fun to practice the thought of having to use a knife made me very uneasy.

One time Kili had asked me to try and knock him down. My first attempt consisted of just trying to shove him. But the dwarf didn’t move at all. It was like he was cemented to the ground.

“Damn your low centre of gravity” I groaned as I tried to shoulder him down.

Kili laughed at my attempts. Then he hooked a leg behind my knees and knocked me to the ground. The fall knocked some of the air out of me and I made an ‘oof’ noise as I hit the floor. Kili squatted down next to me, with a smile on his face.

“What did I say about your balance?” he smirked.

“I know, I know,” I said. He had been trying to drill it into my head.

Then I pushed him, hoping to wipe the grin off his face. As he was squatting down rather than kneeling, he didn’t have enough balance himself. He tumbled backwards onto the ground next to me. It was my turn to laugh then. His surprised expression at being pushed was very funny.

Another time he was teaching me how to get out of a choke hold from behind. He came up very close behind me. I could feel his breath tickling against my neck. It made me shiver a little. Shaking my head I tried to concentrate on what Kili was telling me.

“Right what do you do if someone grabs you from behind?” He said into my ear.

He was making it very difficult to concentrate. “Erm, what. Oh. I don’t know” I laughed nervously “wack out my sick karate moves, they’ll be so amazed they just dr..AHH”

Kili had wrapped both arms around my torso and picked me up. It was as if I weighed absolutely to him. My back was crushed against his very toned chest.

“You were talking too much,” he said, I could hear the smile in his voice. 

Being lifted in the air made me start to laugh. My feet were dangling slightly off the floor. If I reached I could probably still touch the ground. Kili wasn’t very tall after all. He made up for it in strength though. I could tell that he wasn't getting tired anytime soon.

“Fine, fine you made your point” I said.

He gently placed me back on my feet.

“And anyway that wasn’t a choke hold that was more like a bear hug” I told him, smugly.

He gave me a look before continuing with what he was originally trying to teach me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abrâfu shaikmashâz!- Descendant of rats


	9. Be careful of what it takes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's about 3 chapters left in the modern world and then we'll finally be in Middle Earth

Light streamed down through the branches above me. Creating strands of light that cut through the shade of the forest. It was hard to tell whether it was starlight or sunlight. You couldn’t see the sky through the leaves of the canopy. It was peaceful as I walked through the forest. There was only me. All alone in this wide expanse of nature. Not even animals were around. No birds. No deer. The forest was completely silent. Like it was holding its breath.

I smiled up at the canopy taking a deep breath. It smelled like home. Like something I’d lost and forgotten but was back again. I knew these trees. So tall they towered above you. They made you feel so small. Made you realise that you’re a part of a bigger world. 

I reached out to touch one of them. The bark rough beneath my fingers. One second it was my hand on the tree and the next it was a much smaller one. A child’s. But still mine. It seemed to flicker between the two. Like different lenses being placed in front of your eyes one after the other. Not seeing anything amiss, I pulled my hand away from the tree and carried on forwards. 

I was going somewhere. Wasn’t I? No, I was just out for a stroll in the woods. But. There was something, wasn’t there? Someone told me I had to go somewhere. Was it this way? It was like an itch at the back of my head.

The peaceful forest didn’t seem so happy anymore. A sense of urgency overcame me. I had to get somewhere fast. But where? And why? I wasn’t walking anymore. I had started to stumble, half running through the trees. The quiet of the woods was broken by my panicked breaths. 

It was getting harder to see in front of me. The strands of light streaming from above were going out. One by one. Like someone flipping a light switch. Wherever I ran. Blink. Another one out. Blink. Blink. Like someone was turning off the stars.

A tree rose up in front of me, half covered in shadow. I had just about stopped myself from running into it. Halting my fleeing, I stopped at the tree. I clung onto it, seeking some form of stability. My breath was coming out in short gasps. A cloud formed every time I breathed out. When did it get so cold?

Huddling closer to the tree I tried to preserve what little warmth I had left. I was also finding it increasingly difficult to see. If I left the tree I wouldn’t know which direction to go in. But I also couldn’t stay here. I had to keep moving. Taking a deep breath, I went to push myself away from the tree. That’s when I saw something. Something dark and diseased moving along the tree. Like blood in a vein. A pulsing shadow. It was devouring the tree. 

I stumbled back trying to get away from it. My back hit another tree and I swivelled around. The darkness was crawling up that tree as well. It was consuming all of the trees, the roots, the earth. All of it was emanating from something. Something close.

Getting closer.

A sound cut through the soundless night. A snarl. A roar. The revving of an engine. It was like all three mixed into one.

One second it was me, alone, in the darkness. The next it wasn’t. My mind couldn’t even comprehend what it was. It morphed and shifted. Sometimes it was a large humanoid thing with a knife. Next it was a giant wolf. Or a car with blinding headlights.

All that I knew is that I was running from it. Running until it felt like my feet were bleeding and the air burned from my lungs. I was crying, tears had fallen down my face. I could taste the salt on my tongue.

It had become pitch black. No light left to show the way. Branches still whipped at my face and roots still clung to my feet. One root seemed to wrap around my whole ankle and I was thrown to the ground.

It was on me in a second. I could feel hot putrid breath on the back of my neck. With a final sob I turned around to face the monster.

It was gone. And the forest was gone. What was once damp earth was now soft snow. Tiny flakes drifted through the air. Landing on my cheek. I brought my hand up to touch where it had landed. My tears were gone. As if they were never there. Looking up I could see that I was very high up. It must have been a hill of some sort. A very tall hill.

I stood up, clumsily, wanting to look around. To my right was a very sheer cliff. Peering over it I got a very strong feeling of vertigo. The feeling caused me to back away from the edge. To the left there seemed to be the remains of a building. It was a ruin. Buried beneath a layer of snow. 

A pained cry radiated and echoed through the air. It was coming from within the ruins. Someone was hurt. Someone that I cared about.

I ran towards the sound. Rounding the corners of the broken walls, quickly. My heart was beating rapidly as I rounded the last corner. I stopped moving, instantly frozen to the spot. My breath came out as a strangled gasp.

It was a monster. Over 8ft tall and built like a bear. It’s skin was a mottled grey. Every inch of it was covered in scars. Jagged pieces of metal had been embedded into its skin. An enormous sword hung from its hand. The blade red with fresh blood. It was looking straight at me. One of its eyes was clouded white. 

A terrifying smile stretched across its face. A baring of teeth, as if it had found its next meal. 

“RUN!” a cry echoed from behind the monster.

That’s when I saw Kili. He was lying, collapsed on the ground. All colour had drained from his face. A sheen of sweat clung to his brow. He was dressed in some sort of plate armour. It obviously hadn’t worked though. A huge patch of red seeped out from a wound in his abdomen.

“KILI!” I screamed.

I had to get to him. He couldn’t die. I had to save him.

No matter how fast I ran there always seemed to be the same amount of space between us. Reaching for the wall I tried to drag myself along it. Tried to get closer.

The monster merely laughed at me. “You’re already too late”

Before I could even get close, the monster had taken his sword and plunged it deep into Kili’s chest.

* * *

 

I shot up into a sitting position. My breaths were short rasps. It felt like I couldn’t get enough air in. My heart was beating out of my chest. Thundering in my ears. A sob rose in my throat.

It was a dream. No not a dream, a nightmare. An awful one at that. It had been so vivid, like I was really there. Like I was trapped. My nightmares weren’t normally this bad. I could shake those one’s off pretty easily nowadays. But this one. It was awful. Seeing the sword cut through Kili chest. To see him die. I couldn’t cope with it. Full sobs now wracked my body and I couldn’t stop the flow of tears.

How could I be so stupid? How did I manage to forget Kili’s fate? I’d spent the past few months in bliss, just enjoying having one of my favourite characters be real. Somehow I hadn’t thought about how Kili’s story ended. Until now. Until it was seared into my memory. Like a flash of a camera it was branded onto my eyes. I could see it even when my eyes were closed. Kili’s terrified, ashen face begging me to run.

Kili was going to die and it was going to be by Bolg’s hand. That’s who that monster had been. In my dream it was just some nameless thing. But now I was awake I knew who it was. Azog the defiler’s son. A savage orc hell bent on ending the line of Durin.

My stomach tightened. It almost felt like I was going to be sick. I needed to move. To untangle myself from these sheets. The blanket had wrapped around my legs in the night. Now they were constricting me and I felt trapped. With some effort and shaking hands I managed to unearth myself from the bed. 

Stumbling, I made my way out of my room. I needed to get away from there. In the midst of a panic attack I made my way over to the bathroom. If I was going to be sick then I might as well be in there. The light in the bathroom blinded as I switched it on. I made it close to the toilet before I collapsed onto the tiled floor. Cold from the tiles seeped into my legs. It was close enough.

My hands had balled into tight fists. The nails digging sharply into my palms. Vision blurred through the tears. Involuntary whimpers were escaping me. I knew I was being silly but I couldn’t stop myself. 

I don’t know how long I knelt there on the cold bathroom floor. After some time I was no longer alone. I didn’t hear them come in because of my crying. Arms wrapped around my shoulders and brought me closer. My head resting on their chest.

“Shhh, It’s okay. What happened Leah?” they said.

It was Kili.

That realisation made me sob harder. The object of my grief suddenly in front of me. I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him. Kili rubbed my back with one hand. The other one was laced in my hair. He was whispering comforts in my ear.

At one point I was lifted up. Kili had picked me up off the ground with ease. He led me out of the bathroom. I was laid upon something soft. It must have been a mattress. Kili didn’t leave me though. He had laid down right next to me, bringing me close to his chest. I could feel his heartbeat through his chest. Alive.

We lay like that until my cries had subsided and my shuddering breaths evened out. Once I was composed I looked up at Kili “I’m sorry” I said, voice hoarse and cracking.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for” he said.

His eyes were soft and earnest. He traced his thumb along my cheek, wiping up some of the remaining tears.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he said softly.

I took a deep shaky breath in “I..I have these nightmares sometimes”  I lamented “Normally I can handle them but this one was… bad”.

“In what way?” 

“Seeing people die” I whispered, looking away from Kili’s eyes.  

“That must have been awful” he said, his hand had returned to my hair. Fingers running comfortingly against my scalp. It was making me sleepy.

“It’s over now though” he said “I..I can stay if it would help you”

I hummed in agreement, suddenly too tired to speak. He should stay. I wanted him to stay. It wasn’t long before I drifted off again.

* * *

 

Kili

He had been struggling to find sleep for hours now. Each time he would successfully drift off his body would jolt him awake again. It was infuriating. Sighing, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. This had been happening a lot more recently. The longer he stayed in this world the more restless he became. He needed to get home. He knew he did. But the more time went on the more nervous he became. Was that door way a one way trip? Would he never see his family again? He had been in this world for months now and there didn’t seem to be any sign of that gateway returning. Leah and Ellen had been using their ‘internets’ to search for clues but it was all fruitless.

On the other hand, while he wanted to go home, he also despaired leaving. Thinking about leaving everything he had found in this world made his heart sink. This world was so completely different to his own. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time. So many new experiences to try out. There would always be something new thrown at him. He’d also made friends here. Ellen treated him as a part of her family even though she hadn’t known him. Clothed him, fed him, gave him a roof over his head. He would forever be indebted to her. Anika was also a good friend. Even if she insisted on calling him Geri. She was funny and could be understanding when he struggled with something. 

Then there was Leah. He struggled _ not _ to think of her most of the time. They had grown so close over the past few months. He’d never gotten so close to someone who wasn’t in his family. It was strange and exciting and scary. They shared a sense of humour. Leah knew how to make him laugh and he knew how to make her laugh. She would smile and it would light up her whole face. Often it would make him lose his breath for a second. He’d never seen such a beautiful smile before.  

The thought of leaving her, losing her, sent a sharp pain through his chest.

So that’s why he was laying there in the middle of the night. Staring at the patterns on the ceiling. These thoughts would not leave his head. Sitting up, he stretched his arms over his head and let out a tired sigh. A drink might help. He left his bed and made his way over to the door. A noise made him pause. What was that? He put his ear to the door and listened. Cries. Someone was crying.

Kili opened his door slowly, uncertain of who it might be. He didn’t want to charge into something private. The light in the bathroom was on and the door was wide open. Leah was in a pile on the floor. Her sobs were inconsolable and tears streamed down her face. His heart broke at the sight. He rushed over immediately.

“Leah, Leah?” she didn’t seem to hear him.

Carefully, so as not to startle her, he wrapped his arms around her. Bringing her close to him.

Her cries seemed to increase when she realised he was there. She grabbed onto him with a surprising amount of force. Kili hugged her tightly, his lips were on the top of her head. He whispered reassurances into her hair.

They couldn’t stay like that. If she stayed here she would probably feel worse. He wasn’t sure if she’d be willing to walk though. Slowly, he released his hold on Leah. A small, sad sound escaped her throat as he moved away. But he wasn’t going too far. He looped one arm under her legs and the other behind her back and lifted. She didn’t weigh much so it wasn’t very difficult.

He carried her into his room and laid her onto the bed. For a second he had an internal panic. Why did he bring her into his room? This was probably, terribly inappropriate. He should have gone to her room. It was too late to change it now. 

Leah looked very small. Curled up with a tear stained face. He hesitated for a second before deciding to climb in next to her. Screw propriety. He was going to comfort her. Kili held her close to his chest until her sobs subsided. 

“I’m sorry” he heard her say.

Sorry? why was she sorry? she hadn’t done anything wrong. He was here for her.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for” he said.

He looked right at her, wanting her to see that he wasn’t lying in any way. A few tears were still glistening on her cheek. He reached up and wiped them away with his thumb. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he said softly.

He desperately wanted to know what had caused her to react like this. But he didn’t want to push her. Didn’t want to make her feel worse.

“I..I have these nightmares sometimes”  she said “Normally I can handle them but this one was… bad”.

Nightmares. He got them sometimes. They were usually about his Adad. Kili had been quite young when he died. They never got this bad though

“In what way?” he asked.

“Seeing people die,” she said, barely above a whisper. 

“That must have been awful” he said

Kili reached up and brushed a hand through her hair. Leah’s eyes closed and she hummed contentedly. It took him a second before he realised what he was doing. He was touching her hair. Usually, only resigned for very close family and friends. Well at this point he’d say that Leah qualified as being a very close friend.  He marvelled at the softness of her hair.

“It’s over now though” he said “I..I can stay if it would help you” 

He greatly wanted to stay. To keep her in his arms. It felt right, like they were made for it. She made a humming noise that vibrated against his chest. Within seconds he could tell that she was already asleep.

It didn’t take long for him to follow suit. Being next to someone he cared about made sleep come very easily.

 

* * *

 

Leah

I woke up to sunlight streaming across my face. Blinking against the light I fought my eyes open. What I saw confused me. This wasn’t my room. That’s when I noticed a strong arm wrapped around my middle. Kili’s arm. He held me tightly against him. My back to his chest. Oh, I remember now. The midnight panic attack. My face heated up thinking about it. I can’t believe Kili had to see me like that. Now I was in a very precarious position.

Kili’s breath tickled the back of my neck. Softly snoring. I was suddenly very aware of my own body. Our legs were entwined together under the covers. I was also currently using one of his arms as a pillow. No idea how he hadn’t gotten a dead arm. Or maybe he had but he didn’t want to move me. The other arm was wrapped around me. His hand grazing a patch of skin from where my pajama shirt had rode up. Dangerously close to just having a full hand up my shirt. The idea made me giddy and anxious at the same time. 

As comfy as it was to be Kili’s little spoon, I needed to move. If he woke up while I was still here I would have no idea what to say. Probably yell sorry and run out the door. I didn’t exactly know where to begin to try and extract myself. His arm was probably a good start. Gently, I reached up and grabbed the arm around my waist. Slowly, so as not to wake him, I tried to pull it away from me. As soon as I went to move it, Kili suddenly grabbed me tighter. Christ that dwarf is strong.  He snuggled into me, his nose skimmed against my neck. It sent tingles down my back.

I tried to be very still. Hoping that he wouldn’t wake up. After a few moments it seemed like he wasn’t going to move again. Time for attempt two. This time I tried to shuffle out with my body. After a few excruciatingly long seconds I managed to extricate myself. Kili didn’t wake up as I backed out of his room.

I felt very on edge. My fingers brushed the back of my neck. There was still a ghost of Kili’s breath on the back of my neck. It made it very difficult for rational thought. Shaking my head, I tried to bring some sense back. 

I made my way downstairs. The stairs creaking slightly under my weight. Tea seemed like a good shout right now. A cup of tea to settle my nerves. I walked through the living room and opened the kitchen door. Mum was already up. She was nursing her own cup of tea while reading something on her kindle. Greeting her good morning, I walked over to the kettle. It was still hot so I just poured myself a tea.

Once I had made it I sat down at the dining table across from Mum. As soon as I sat down Mum looked up at me. She was giving me a very strange, pointed look.

“So” she said, over the brim of her mug “Should I be expecting any dwarf grandchildren any time soon?”

I nearly spat out my tea “Mum?!”

How did she know that I’d slept in Kili’s room last night?

“You do realise that Kili’s bedroom door was wide open this morning, it’s not my fault if my eyes strayed and saw you all snuggled up. You were very cute by the way” she grinned at me.

I could feel my face become hot. Oh god this is mortifying.

“It wasn’t like that Mum. Get your mind out of the gutter” I said.

Mum giggled, “Enlighten me then.”

I took a deep breath, preparing myself to bring down the mood. “I had a nightmare and Kili found me crying in the bathroom”

Mum’s face changed to concern then. She put her tea down and reached out to hold my hand “Oh darling Are you alright? Your nightmares were under control for so long”

“I know, but then I got new ones. Yay” I said with fake enthusiasm.

“What was this one about?” Mum said.

“I was being chased through the woods by some monster thing. Granted, that one was probably courtesy of the warg that attacked us” I said.

Mum squeezed my hand encouragingly.

“But I could handle that one, it’s similar to ones I've had in the past” I breathed in deeply “Then it changed… It was… I saw Kili and he was being killed by an orc”

I stopped speaking. His dying form, sprung unbidden to the front of my mind. If I wasn’t careful I was going to start panicking again.

Mum had moved then. She came around to where I was and wrapped her arms around me.

“Oh that’s awful” mum said.

I laid my head against Mum’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I forgot” I said, throat tight. “He can’t die, Mum, he can’t”.

Mum rubbed my arm and I looked up at her “We should probably warn him” she said “we can’t tell him everything though because some things need to happen the way they did. Changing those could make things worse”

Telling him. Yes we could tell him and warn him. That way he would be prepared and he could survive. A naïve hope surged through me. Kili would live. He had to. The thought of losing Kili made me sick. I don’t know how Kili would take it but I was now resigned to telling him.

Mum’s arm dropped from around me as I sat up. She was staring into the distance. Eyes unfocused not really looking at anything.

“Maybe we should go with him...when he goes back home,” she said, her voice just about audible.

Go with him? To Middle Earth? I thought it would be me that would suggest something like that. Not my very rational mother. The thought of following him to Middle Earth made my heart soar. It felt like we should. Like it was the right thing to do. I wanted it with every fibre of my being. But we couldn’t do that. Could we?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Mum shook her head seeming to come out of her stupor. “Oh I’m just being silly, ignore me” she said nonchalantly.

She was acting very strangely. Mum was pretending that she didn’t mean it but I could tell that she was being 100% sincere. She was just as desperate to go to Middle Earth as I was. 

Mum carried on with her morning routine as if she had never suggested we leave the world we knew.

* * *

I had decided to tell Kili about his fate. Now I needed to find the right opportunity to tell him. The problem was that I was being a coward. I would build myself up to tell him and then chicken out at the last minute. Probably making me look like a weirdo.

Kili was sitting in the living room, watching something on T.V. I, on the other hand, was sort of hovering by the edge of the room like some kind of stalker. My hands were wringing together and my stomach was doing flips. Right it has to be now or never. Steeling myself I took a deep breath and walked over to the settee he was sat on.

He gave me a small smile as I sat down, his eyebrows pulling together slightly in concern. Hopefully because he thought that I was still fragile from my dream and not that I was about to tell him that he and his family were gonna die. Oh my god. I’m gonna throw up.

Kili put a hand on my shoulder “Are you okay?”

I shook my head “Not really” well here goes nothing “I need to tell you something”

“Is it about your dream?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

I guess it was, partly. Rubbing my hand down my face I replied “Yeah, my dream is involved”

“What happened?” he said, softly.

Oh where do I even start “I was on some kind of hill, covered in ruin. It was freezing and covered in snow… And I saw you?”

“Me?”

I nodded. My throat felt like it was getting tighter, my voice was starting to break “Kili.. I, I saw you die. A giant orc stabbed you through the chest”

Kili wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder “Hey, don’t worry, it’s over now. I’m here, I’m not going to die” He gave me a small smile trying to comfort me.

It had the opposite effect and I broke down “But you are!” I cried, covering my face with my hands.

Kili backed away slightly “What do you mean?” he said, uncertainly.

I took in several breaths to try and steady my racing heart. Removing my hands from my face I looked back at Kili. “Do you remember how there are stories here about your world?”

He nodded.

“Well I think the timeline between our two worlds is different?” I said

Kili’s brow furrowed “What does timeline mean?”

“I don’t really know how to explain this but It means that there are stories from Middle Earth that happen nearly 100 years in your future.” I said.

“But that doesn’t make sense, how can they write about something that hasn’t happened yet?” he said.

“It might not have happened to you but it has already happened here” I explained.

Kili paused, looking down. He seemed deep in thought. “So not only do you know about Middle Earth you also know about my future?” his voice was disbelieving.

I nodded “The quest that you are about to go on, to reclaim Erebor, has already been written”

His mouth fell open in surprise “But, but I’ve never told you about the quest. How did you?” he shook his head, then he looked at me very intently “If the quest is already written then what happens?”

His face was begging me to tell him. “Smaug is defeated and Erebor is reclaimed. That’s why my tattoo say ‘So comes snow after fire and even dragons have there end’” I said.

Kili’s face lit up, he looked like he was about to cry. “We do it, we actually do it?” he said breathlessly.

Here I come to ruin the day. I was starting to cry again “But n.not everyone survives Kili. There is a battle and there’s an orc army and..” My voice kept breaking and I was becoming breathless.

“Who dies Leah?” he asked, his voice was so vulnerable.

It made me sob harder and I struggled to reply.

“Who dies Leah!?” he asked, harder this time.

I looked back to him, sorrow filling my eyes “Your Uncle Thorin dies killing Azog the defiler… and you and Fili die trying to protect him”

Kili’s face fell. His eyebrows screwed up as if in pain and tears brimmed his eyes. “No. No. You’re wrong. That can’t happen. It can’t” his voice had started to break “My brother and Uncle can’t die, they can’t… I can’t die”

I couldn’t cope with Kili’s anguish. Seeing him like that was like a knife to the gut. “I’m sorry” I whispered, tears falling down my own face.

Kili looked like an animal that had been cornered. In a second he was on his feet, ready to bolt.

“I’m sorry.. I can’t” he said.

And then he ran.

* * *

Kili

He didn’t know what else to do, so he ran. Leaving the house through the front door, not even paying attention to where he was running. Tears had now started to fall, making it difficult to see. His racing heart refused to quiet and he felt like he wasn’t getting enough air in.

Leah had to be wrong. She had to be. If she was right...It didn’t bear thinking about. Mahal above, How could they die? Uncle Thorin was so strong, Kili had always thought that nothing could ever fell him. Thorin was a leader, their King, he had been through so much to help his kingdom. And he was going to die reclaiming his homeland.

Kili backed away suddenly as a car nearly drove straight into him. He would never get used to this world. Deciding to avoid anymore roads he turned and escaped into a copse of trees by the roadside. Trees and fields he could understand better. After a while of half running through the trees he came upon a fallen log.

All energy seemed to drain out of him and he collapsed into it. His head fell into his hands.

Fili. His big brother. They would tease each other but Fili always had his back. 82 was no age at all. He was barely in his majority. Hadn’t had chance to court anyone or find his craft. Then again neither had Kili.

Amad would be all alone. All of her family, dead in one day. He couldn’t leave his Amad like that. It would destroy her. He remembered what it was like when they’d lost Adad. She was strong in front of him and Fili. Never seeming to let the sadness win. When she was alone though, was a different matter. Kili remembered hearing her crying at night, praying to Mahal to bring him back. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there. Alone in a forest. A light rain had started to fall around him. He couldn’t spend all day out here. Wallowing and hiding. He needed to get back. Maybe Leah had some answers for him. If he knew more maybe he could stop it from happening.

Getting back to the house was more difficult than leaving had been. He hadn’t been looking where was going and now was rather lost. After struggling for a while he approached someone walking their dog and asked them for directions. Apparently he’d gone further than he thought. When he eventually made it back he could see Ellen’s car was in the driveway. She must have finished work.

He walked through the front door. Leah was talking rapidly with her mother, she seemed very panicked. Upon hearing the door open they both turned around. Relief washed over Leah’s face and she rushed over. Crushing him with a hug.

“Oh Kili, I’m so sorry. I was so scared when I didn’t know where you were” she mumbled.

Kili returned the hug. Feeling better with her embrace. They released each other and Kili looked at Leah.

“Please tell me everything?”

Ellen decided it would be better if everyone sat down first. They all sat down on the settees and Ellen and Leah began explaining.

“What do you mean you can’t tell me everything? I need to know. Mine and my family’s lives are at stake!” he said, half hysterical.

Ellen lifted a hand to try and quiet his rambling. “We don’t mean it maliciously Kili. It’s just a lot of things on the quest are critical and have to happen the way they do. If you knew everything, no matter if you intended to or not, you may end up changing things. Then things could change drastically. In ways that we could never foresee. It could end worse; more people could die” said Ellen, then she took a deep breath “This quest ultimately affects more than just the Dwarves. If certain events change then the whole of Middle Earth may suffer.”

Kili was speechless. How could reclaiming Erebor affect the whole of Middle Earth?

“Then what can you tell me?” said Kili, becoming desperate.

Leah spoke up this time “You’re going to be hunted. By orcs. Azog wants to end the line of durin”

“But Thorin killed Azog. At the battle of Azanulbizar”

Leah shook her head “He survived. He lost an arm but he still lived”

Kili’s face went white. Thorin had told him about that vicious orc The one that had killed his great-grandfather, King Thror. How could he hope to fight against something not even his Uncle could kill? 

“There will be a battle after Smaug is killed. Orcs and goblins will try and take the Mountain back from you. You, Thorin and Fili will try to kill Azog on Ravenhill but it’s an ambush and you get separated...and you die” said Leah, her voice shaking.

He knew of Ravenhill. From the maps he had been shown it was close to the mountain.

“So if we avoid going up there we might not die?” said Kili, his voice small and childlike.

Ellen gave him an encouraging smile, “We can’t know for sure but if you’re not on that hill and you don’t get separated then there is a big chance you’ll survive”

Well that was it then. He was going to save him and family. 


	10. The room begins to sway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya boi graduated this week. I'm officially free of university, I can't believe it. Also my boyfriend got a new puppy and it is the cutest thing ever.  
> Anyway, enjoy my longest chapter yet.

Kili had become very focused. He wasn’t as carefree as he had been originally. The knowledge weighed heavy on him at times. He had doubled down on the amount that he trained with his sword. I didn’t want him to train all alone though. Often I would sit with him while he trained. Trying to make him smile or laugh. Anything to stop him over thinking about things. Seeing him so sad was like a punch to the gut. Usually I was pretty good at making him smile again though. I knew how to make him laugh.

One time we were in the garden and I was trying to show off my own skills with sword fighting. Not with the actual sword obviously. Kili wouldn’t let me go near it after I nearly chopped off my foot trying to pick it up. That thing is heavy. So I had a big ass stick instead. I swinging it around with fluid grace. And by fluid grace I meant that I was waving a stick around with reckless abandon. I wasn’t really going for style points.

I was currently trying to do the things where you sort of spin it around your neck and catch it again.

“What in Mahal’s name was that?” Kili laughed, he was leaning against his own sword.

The stick hadn’t gone all the way around my neck and kept falling behind my back before I could catch it. 

“Sword skills isn’t it obvious” I said, attempting another go.

Kili raised his eyebrows, his eyes shining with laughter. “If you do that with a sword you won’t have a head anymore”

“I will because I’m in complete control, no sword can harm me,” I said with a lot of confidence.

“That’s not how swords work” he said “And anyway you can’t even get a stick to obey you never mind a sword”

Just as he said that I managed to swing the stick around and catch it. I changed my face into a ‘Ha told you so’ kind of face. Kili laughed at my antics. Trying to do it again, I ended up throwing the stick several feet to the left. As I went to retrieve the stick I could see Mum through the kitchen window. She was pacing with a phone to her ear and one hand was rubbing the bridge of her nose. This had been going on for over two hours and I still wasn’t sure what had happened.

“What do you think is wrong?” I asked over my shoulder

“Work, maybe” he said coming to stand next to me.

Through the window I could see Mum had stopped pacing and seemed to be making her way outside.

“Shit she’s coming out, act like we weren’t watching her through the window” I said, looking away and leaning an elbow on Kili’s shoulder. All casual like.

“What are you doing?” he asked bemused

“Acting natural”

“There’s nothing natural about what you’re doing,” he said with a grin.

Mum had made it over to us by then. She was wringing her hands together and seemed to be trying to find the right words. 

“Right I’ve been on the phone for the past two hours because a band that was supposed to be playing at the Matisse wedding decided to cancel, three days! before the wedding. Three days!” Mum’s voice was increasing in pitch.

“Is that the one with the bridezilla?” I asked.

Mum had been organising a wedding at work. If she was on about the person I thought it was then this was very bad news. That woman was so nit picky. Everything had to be done her way and even when it was she wasn’t happy with it. Mum had complained about her no end of times. She would come home to rant to me about it. I wouldn’t mind though, it was fun listening to the drama. It also helped Mum get it out of her system.

Mum nodded, confirming my suspicions. “So is no one available at short notice?” I asked.

“Not as far as I can tell, everyone seems to be booked” she sighed “It doesn’t help that it’s currently wedding season” 

Mum steepled her hands in front of her mouth and closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath and lowered her hands.

“Leah I need to ask you the biggest favour. And you can say no. But I desperately need someone to sing at this wedding. The bride has somehow agreed to have a DJ for most of the evening but she won’t budge on having a live singer for walking down the aisle and her first dance” Mum implored, her eyes were begging me to say yes.

I’d sung at events Mum had organised in the past; so it wasn’t something out of nowhere. When I had dreams of becoming a big singer I had begged Mum to let me sing in front of an audience. The first time didn’t go great but the people were nice about it. I had done it a few more times since and had gotten better each time. A wedding was a big deal though. Having an angry bride shout at me wouldn’t be a fun experience. I would do it though, for Mum. 

“Yes, Yeah I’ll do it Mum” I said.

Mum let out a breath she had been holding “Oh darling you have no idea how much that helps me”

 Mum reached over and gave me a hug. Her relief was palpable. After a tight squeeze she released me.

“Right now I just need to find a musician. The bride will only accept a pianist or a violinist” said Mum.

Kili’s face lit up then “I could do it!” he said very eagerly “I can play the violin!”

Oh yeah, he had told me about it. The violin that his Mum had bought him for a birthday present. It would be amazing if Kili could do it with me. I’d prefer to be next to someone I knew when I went on a stage.

“Really?” Mum asked, I could tell she was a bit skeptical.

“Tell her how long you’ve played the violin for Kili” I nudged him

“43 years”

“Almost as long as you’ve been alive Mum” I said

“Don’t push it” Mum said, a small smile at the corners of her mouth. “I’d have to see you play first Kili. I’m not doubting your skills I just prefer to be sure”

You couldn’t really argue with that I guess.

* * *

I have no idea where Mum found one but after barely an hour she had come home bearing a pretty decent quality violin. When I asked her about it she simply told me that ‘She had her sources’. It made her sound like some criminal mastermind or something. Most likely she had rented it from somewhere.

Kili picked it up by the neck and studied it. Hopefully violins in Middle Earth weren’t different. He began tuning it and plucking the strings experimentally. I have no idea what he was listening for but he was very focused. After a few ministrations he seemed to be ready. He placed the violin under his chin. A bow in hand hovering over the strings. He looked at Mum for confirmation to start. At her nod he drew the bow across the strings.

It was beautiful. I was speechless standing there with my mouth open in shock. He played it with such skill. His eyes were closed, just soaking in the music. Fingers were moving with such precision I could never hope to replicate. The tune was wholly unfamiliar, it must have been a dwarven piece. That didn’t detract from my enjoyment though. Seeing him so engrossed in his playing my heart soared. A warm feeling swept through my body and a huge smile spread across my face.

When he finished he dropped the violin away from his chin and looked up at us. His expression was a little shy. I broke into a round of applause and Mum followed suit. 

“That was amazing, I think I’m gonna cry” I said, wiping a fake tear away.

“Isn’t crying a bad thing?” Kili asked, uncertain.

“Not always, sometimes it’s happy tears” I said  

Mum was, thankfully, convinced by his performance which meant that we would be performing together. She told us what songs we needed to practice for the wedding. Fortunately it was only two and not a whole concert. We had to learn ‘Can’t help falling in love’ by Elvis and ‘A Thousand Years’ by Christina Perri. I was grateful that I already knew the songs so I didn’t have to worry about forgetting lyrics.

Kili and I practiced together as much as we could over the next few days. With the wedding only days away, we had to make sure we didn’t suck. I loved practicing with Kili though. He could make anyone sound good when he played like that. So if I stumbled he had got my back.

The day of the wedding came around and I was very nervous. I had woken up very early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. The actual wedding didn’t start until 12 so it left a lot of time for me to overthink everything. Will I sound okay? What if I forget the words? 

Kili was somehow, blissfully, cool headed. How he did it was beyond me. Why couldn’t I be that relaxed? This whole restlessness didn’t help me at all. Especially as I was trying to get ready. I had been attempting to put my hair up for around an hour now. There were bobbles, hair elastics and bobby pins all strewn across the little shelf below the mirror. Mum couldn’t help me as she had her own things she needed to do. Which left me getting more and more annoyed that my hair wouldn’t go right. I’d try to braid it but then some hair would fall out or it wouldn’t sit properly. The more irritated I got the more it went wrong. It was a never ending cycle.

I was using the living room mirror and angry tears had started to form in my eyes. Why did my tear ducts betray me when I got frustrated? I dropped the braid currently in my hands and laid my forehead against the mirror. Giving up. I’ll just have to show up with a birds nest for hair. I’m sure that would go down well.

A hand was suddenly resting on my shoulder and pulled me away from my wallowing. I turned and saw that it was Kili. He was looking at me with an amused expression. Clearly my pain was funny. He was already dressed for the wedding. A crisp, white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. On top of that he wore a blue waistcoat, which I was very appreciative of. Kili looked good in a waistcoat. He was not happy about having to wear a tie, though. Apparently it strangled him. Mum was insistent though as the bride was very particular about uniforms. For that same reason, his hair was also up in a bun. Initially Kili was confused by the style as dwarves never really put all their hair up. They normally just braided sections. It looked good though.

Kili was giving me a pitying look. Then he looked away, suddenly nervous. “I can help you, if you would like” 

“With my hair?” I asked, confused but also with increased hope.

I thought dwarves had a thing about hair. But I did desperately needed him to help me. He looked back at me, a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.

“Yes, you look like you’re struggling,” he said with a nervous laugh. 

“What made you think that?” I laughed.

“Probably all the growls and banging your head against mirrors”

“Fine, I see your point,” I said “I would really like some help please”

Kili nodded and looked at my hair. Reaching up, his hand hovered by my head. He hesitated for a second but then dove straight in. Starting with undoing the braid that was still in my hair. His deft hands made a quick job of the work. I felt his fingers graze my scalp and I suppressed a shiver. It felt good. Kili began parting sections and braiding down the side of my head. I’d never seen anyone braid so fast. It was amazing. I ended up with 2 braids on each side of my head that circled like a crown. The rest of my hair was left down. At the back Kili had arranged the braids to look like a flower. It was really pretty.

“It looks amazing” I said, twirling in front of the mirror to try and see it all.

“Thank you” he said, looking shy. “Amad used to let me practice on her”

 Mum entered the living room then. She was hastily putting in a pair of earrings as she came to stand next to us. 

“You’re hair looks lovely darling” she said while checking her outfit in the mirror.

She was wearing a long-sleeved, black t-shirt and a poofy, floral skirt that ended by her shins. Her hair was delicately twisted into an updo. It made me jealous that she was able to do that on her own when I flailed with mine.

“Thank you, mum” I decided not to out Kili as my hairdresser. He would probably get flustered if more people knew about it.

* * *

We had to rush out of the house not long after that. Even though the wedding didn’t start until 12 we had to be there early to set up. Once we were at the church Mum had to argue with the priest about pretty much everything. The music, the camera placement and someone had moved decorations around. It wasn’t the best start. Also apparently where Kili and I were supposed to set up wasn’t suitable anymore. Which was bullshit because they had done a dress rehearsal and Mum said everything went fine then. I think the priest was just being difficult for the sake of it. I have no idea how Mum kept so calm. 

After a lot of to and fro we managed to set up the instruments and microphones in the same spot we were originally going to. Guests had also started to stream in. Most didn’t really pay attention to us. They just wandered over to the pews. Talking amongst themselves. That was fine by me though, I’d probably mess something up if they were staring.

Kili was practicing a little with his violin, making sure he had all the notes right. Impressively, he had managed to learn the songs in less than 3 days. I walked over to him and he lowered the violin as I approached.

“are you excited?” I asked “You’ll get to see how this world does weddings”

I paused a moment, in thought “Well how Christians do weddings at least”.

“I am intrigued, I want to see if they’re different to any of the ones I’ve been to” said Kili, looking out into the church.

He turned back to me and raised an eyebrow “So what should I expect?”

I gave him a brief rundown on your typical church wedding. Walking down the aisle, the rings, the vows yadda yadda yadda. After I finished my explanation Mum came hurrying over and told us that the bride would be arriving soon. I was so into the conversation with Kili I hadn’t noticed that the church was now full. Quickly, Kili and I got into our positions. We were situated at the back of the church on the left side. The bride would come in through the right before continuing up the aisle. I stood in front of a microphone with Kili on my left.

My palms were sweaty and I could feel my stomach doing little flips. This was no time to panic. I took several deep breaths to calm my nerves. Kili nudged me with his elbow and gave me an encouraging smile. ‘You’ll be great’ he mouthed. I gave him a smile back before returning to my microphone. Kili started the song on his violin. Closing my eyes momentarily, I let the music wash over me. I loved violins. Opening my eyes I looked to Mum in the corner. She gave me a thumbs up to signal me to start.

_ Wise men say only fools rush in _

_ But I can't help falling in love with you _

_ Shall I stay? _

_ Would it be a sin _

_ If I can't help falling in love with you? _

I could see the bride now in front of me. Her dress had a sweetheart neckline and big poofy skirts. She had to hold the dress in on hand and her father’s arm in the other. Emotions ranged from nervous to excited. No horrified expression as of yet so that was a good sign. Bridezilla was happy for now.

_ Like a river flows surely to the sea _

_ Darling so it goes _

_ Some things are meant to be _

_ Take my hand, take my whole life too _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

I looked towards Kili, wanting to see him play while I sang. His eyes weren’t closed like I expected them to be. Our eyes met and it suddenly felt like it was only us two in the room. Playing the song for each other. 

_ Like a river flows surely to the sea _

_ Darling so it goes _

_ Some things are meant to be _

_ Take my hand, take my whole life too _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

As the song came to its close my thoughts drew inwards. The only person this song made me think of when I heard it was Kili. _ I can’t help falling in love with you _ . I felt my stomach flutter at the thought. That probably meant that my feelings were a little more than platonic. Oh god, I had fallen for Kili. I couldn’t even think of when I had started to feel like this. It had happened slowly, with each smile, each laugh. When he defended me and held me after my nightmare. This boy had worked his way into my heart. How did I only just realise this?

“Are you okay?” Kili asked, suddenly at my side and making me jump. “You sounded beautiful Leah, don’t look so worried”.

Looking up at Kili I felt my cheeks warm. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Thank you” I muttered, very flustered. 

Kili was very close, his shoulder was touching mine and he leaned closer to whisper into my ear “So what happens now then?”

I felt his breath glance across my ear and I suppressed a shiver. My body was a jumble of nerves and my heart rate quickened. I couldn’t form words for a second. Why did I have to have a revelation now? If I hadn’t suddenly realised that I was falling in love with the dwarf I probably wouldn’t be as flustered right now.

Mum appeared next to us then saving me from fumbling my words. “Right so this priest will probably waffle on for a bit and then they’ll do their vows. Once they’ve finished you’ll need to play them out Kili”

Kili nodded already knowing what he was supposed to be doing. Once she was sure we all knew what we were doing she gave us a thumbs up and slinked away. When I looked back to Kili I tried to smile without showing how flustered I was.

* * *

The priest did in fact waffle on. Started spouting something about chocolate rolo’s being a symbol for marriage. I think he was just taking advantage of having a full church. Eventually he stopped and the couple actually got married. Kili played the same song as they left the church. People were throwing confetti over the newly weds as they walked past.

We had to shoot off very quickly after they left the church. Mum was needed at the venue to make sure everything was running smoothly. Kili and I went with her to help but we wouldn’t be needed again until about 7 o’clock. That left a lot of spare time and we’d probably be super bored. We decided we would help out as much a we could. Moving tables and rearranging flowers etc.

Considering how demanding the bride had been in the run up to this wedding she was surprisingly chill. Even when the florists had got the wrong flowers and the caterers had missed out one of the meals. She took it all in her stride and just smiled. Happy to be married. Mum told us that she sees it a lot. Brides that were completely unreasonable suddenly become nice and polite. It also worked vice versa though. Apparently some of the worst clients Mum had didn’t become a nightmare until the actual day.

Mum made sure we all got fed. We ended up with some very fancy chicken sandwiches and Kili had snagged some leftover desserts from the kitchens. He was very happy to just sit there and gorge on cheesecake.

Every time I looked at Kili my heart would beat faster as I’d realise all over again that I liked him. I couldn’t tell if he noticed but he never let on that I was acting weird. Hopefully he didn’t. I didn’t want him to think I was being a weirdo.

We had set up our gear on a little stage near the DJ. The couple wandered onto the dance floor and the DJ announced that it would be their first dance. Kili took that as a signal to start playing.

_ The day we met, _

_ Frozen I held my breath _

_ Right from the start _

_ I knew that I'd found a home for my heart _

_ Beats fast _

_ Colors and promises _

_ How to be brave? _

_ How can I love when I'm afraid to fall _

_ But watching you stand alone? _

_ All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow _

 

_ One step closer _

_ I have died everyday waiting for you _

_ Darling don't be afraid I have loved you _

_ For a thousand years _

_ I'll love you for a thousand more _

When we finished the couple was smiling at each other. More people started to fill the dance floor as the DJ put a new song on. Kili and I packed up our equipment as quickly as we could and wandered off the stage. Mum came up to us with a big smile. 

“You were great,” she said, giving both me and Kili a hug “Thank you so much for doing this you have no idea how much you’ve helped”.

We didn’t have to stay much longer after that. The staff at the venue knew what they needed to do. Mum gave them a brief run down but they told her that everything would be taken care of.

Kili looked longingly at the dance floor. Mum had told him that he couldn’t join in as he wasn’t one of the guests. This had made him sad and forlorn. Apparently seeing everyone else dancing made him want to join in. We left not long after and Kili was still a little put out. Not wanting to see him sad any longer I came up with an idea. I asked Mum to drop us off in the middle of town. If Kili wanted to go out dancing then he will. He can get his first club experience.

I texted Anika to meet us there. She was very happy to do so. We decided that we would have a few drinks at the wetherspoons around the corner before we went. It was only about 9 we couldn’t really go clubbing yet. Also we could get cheaper drinks in the pub. It was a lot cheerier than the last time we were here. No stupid ex to ruin it this time. By the time we made it to the club I was quite tipsy. I kept giggling and would poke Kili in the face for seemingly no reason. He had good cheekbones and it was imperative in that moment that I poke them.  

Kili swatted my hand away and smiled at me. My heartbeat increased and I smiled back at him. When we got there the bouncers let us in. Thankfully no one had I.D’d Kili, I hadn’t thought that one through. Nevertheless we had made it in. The music was so loud you could feel the bass reverb in your chest. You couldn’t really hear anyone speak. But music was music and Kili was happy to be able to dance. He dragged both me and Anika over to the dance floor.

“Come on! You’ve got to dance with me” Kili shouted over the music.

Who were we to refuse? All of us danced along to the music. Well I attempted at least. I can say with certainty that I was the worst dancer in our little group. All my rhythm must have been abandoned as a child. I was still having fun though. At one point the song 5678 came on by Steps. The cowboy one. I grabbed Kili and looped my arm through his, spinning in circles to the music. He was facing one way and I was facing the other. We would alternate between arms and swap partners.

_ My bootscootin' baby _

_ Is drivin' me crazy _

_ My obsession from a western _

_ My dance floor date _

_ My rodeo Romeo _

_ A cowboy god from head to toe _

_ Wanna make you mine _

_ Better get in line _

_ 5, 6, 7, 8 _

By the time the song ended all of us were laughing and very out of breath. Kili’s smile stretched across his whole face, he looked a lot happier now. Now that he finally got to dance. Another song came on and we went back to our own individual dancing. Anika slipped out for a second to go and get us some more drinks.

“Kili you’ve got some moves” I yelled over the music “I didn’t know how well you could dance”

He truly was quite a good dancer. Better than me by a long shot. Looking at me, he gave me a very amused grin.

“And you’ve got, whatever in Durin’s name that is” He said motioning to my dancing.

*gasp* how dare he. How could he say anything wrong about these sick moves? My arms swayed randomly and I managed to miss every beat of the song as I swayed.

“I’m dancing obviously. Maybe you’ve heard of it” I joked

Kili reached forward and took my hand. He pulled me very close to him, bouncing slightly off of his chest. His other hand grabbed my waist. My breath caught and I was captivated by his eyes. Coloured light blinked across his face. Sending fractals of colour across his eyes. They were mesmerising. He was so close, I could see every individual eyelash. I was overcome with the sudden urge to lean forward and place my lips on his.

“That’s not dancing” he said into my ear “I’ll show you how it’s done”

And then we were off. Kili was in the lead, spinning me around. Barely missing the other people. I laughed unguardedly as he led me around the dancefloor. When the song ended he dipped me very low. He held me up with ease. I was breathless as I gazed up at his face. My eyes flicked to his lips, the urge to kiss him was back. I saw Kili’s gaze slowly drift to my own lips. His breath fanned across my face. He leaned forward so slightly. Our noses brushing. Anticipation burned through me. Did he feel the same thing?

Then Anika burst through a bunch of people with drinks in hand. The moment was broken and Kili returned me to an upright position. He gave me a sheepish grin, as if I hadn’t just been 5 seconds away from kissing him. Anika raised an eyebrow at me but I ignored it and grabbed my drink. I was too full of nervous energy and downed it in one. 

* * *

I may have gone a little overboard after that. Downing too many drinks too fast in a bid to ignore or suppress my nerves. It had been a long time since I’d been this drunk. Most of the time I stopped when I got a bit tipsy. Probably would have been a good thing at that moment. But alas, here we were, very wobbly on my feet and slurring all of my words. We were no longer in a club, I could tell because there wasn’t any music and I could hear people talking. I was currently snuggling into Anika’s chest and telling her how much I loved her.

“But you’re like so amazing Ani. Anika. Aniiikaarr are you listening?” I was looking up at her and cradling her face.

Anika grinned down at me like I was a child that needed looking after “I hear you Babe” then she turned to someone “She should probably go home now”

“Agreed” said the ‘someone’.

I removed my head from Anika’s chest. The street lights blurring as I moved. Streaking across my vision. Once my vision stopped moving I saw who the ‘someone’ was.

“KILI, when did you get here?” I said and swapped my hold on Anika to Kili, snuggling into his neck.

“You’re my favourite” I breathed into his neck.

My arms wrapped him tightly, I could feel his back muscles through his shirt. His hand was also rubbing down my back comfortingly. It felt so good and warm in his arms, I hummed contentedly.

“You smell so nice” I said, rubbing my nose against the skin of his neck. “It’s ilgal. ile. ill.e.gal” got there in the end. “We need to run before the police find out”

I made to make a break for it- needing to escape from the imaginary police- but two hands grabbed me before I got the chance. Kili was holding me to him so that I wouldn’t wander off. 

“You don’t need to worry about the police, Leah” Kili said with a laugh in his voice.

A smile stretched out across my face. I liked it when he said my name. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Once again I started burrowing my face into his neck. Could I just stay here.

It didn’t last as long as I wanted though because at one point I was shoved into a car. I was very uncooperative and tried to get out again. Where were they going, I wanted to cuddle. At some point I stopped trying to get out of the car and lay my head back against the seat. The world swirled in front of my eyes in not a very pleasant way. Closing my eyes made the spinning worse. So I blearily tried to keep my eyes open. Looking around the area I was in I could see that I was in someone’s car. Kili was sat next to me in the back seat.

“Kili!” I smiled.

Reaching for him and wrapped my arm around his and hugged it to me. My head resting on his shoulder. I looked up and could see him smiling down at me.

“You’re so pretty” I said, reaching my hand up to his face. My hand ran through his beard. The hair so soft beneath the pads of my fingers. “Pretty smile” One finger traced his bottom lip, his mouth opened in a gasp when I touched it. 

“And eyes” I almost poked him in the eye as I reached up to touch them, he managed to grab my hand in time. A bewildered smile on his face.  

He was so beautiful and he needed to know it. After I was no longer poking him in the eye he gave me my hand back. I didn’t stay still for long. Hand already wandering. It found its way into the locks of Kili’s hair. His hair was no longer in a bun and was loose around his shoulders. I ran my fingers through it, twirling locks of his hair around my fingers.

“You’re hair is so soft Kili” I murmured, “It’s nice to play with”

“Th.Thank you” said Kili breathlessly.

I simply smiled and snuggled further into him. Playing with his hair for the rest of the journey. Before I knew it the car had stopped moving. Kili was suddenly not where he had been and I tilted forward. I made a very disgruntled noise at the loss of contact. A pair of strong hands pushed me back into an upright position. Unceremoniously, I somehow made it out of the car. My feet wouldn’t cooperate with me and I swayed. The world was spinning again and this time it was making me feel sick. I think I must have slipped at some point because the ground was suddenly very close. 

I never hit the ground though. Everything shifted and suddenly I was in the air. Hair like a waterfall below me. It took me several seconds to realise that I was being carried. Kili had lifted me up and was taking me into the house. A grin spread across my face. He was my saviour.

“You’re my knight in shining armour” I slurred.

My knight deserved a reward for helping me. I know. I’ll give him a kiss on the cheek. That’s what a renaissance princess would do. Fully dedicated to my decision, I reached a hand up to caress his cheek. I used my hand to pull his face towards me and kissed. It wasn’t his cheek though. He must have turned slightly too much and it was his lips I had caught instead. His lips grazed mine and my eyelids fluttered closed. A warm feeling spread out from my chest to the tips of my fingers and toes. 

“I missed” I sighed, head falling onto his shoulder.

I could still feel the tingle of the kiss against my lips as I drifted off to sleep in his arms  

~~~~

* * *

~~~~  


Kili

It had been a very long day. Fun though. Seeing a wedding from this world was quite strange. It was so similar yet so different than one’s he’d attended in the past. Rings were exchanged instead of beads and there were no swords to be found anywhere. Rather strange if you asked him. In a dwarf wedding hand forged weapons were exchanged between the bride and groom. It was supposed to symbolise how they would protect one another. The weapon depended on the individual but most of the time it was a sword.

When he played in the church he looked over at Leah. She was singing so beautifully, he could listen to her all day. Her hair fell perfectly down her back. Hair that he had styled himself. He couldn’t believe he had done it himself. Touching her hair to comfort her was one thing but styling it and braiding it was another thing entirely. When he was braiding her hair he was nearly overwhelmed. He tried to tell himself that the feelings were just from being close friends. Deep down he knew that was a lie. What he felt was no longer friendship. It was something much more.

She looked over to him as she sang. An astonishing smile on her lips. A smile rose to his lips unbidden, he couldn’t help it. When she stopped singing her eyes were wide and she looked rather worried. He couldn’t understand why though, she had sung perfectly. He’d told her that she’d been great but she still looked worried.

Leah remained a little distant through the rest of the day. Too lost in her own thoughts. He would sometimes catch her staring at him. She would look away quickly when he caught her, cheeks turning red. He hoped she would tell him what was bothering her at some point. When they had to perform once more Leah sang perfectly again. She was positioned in front of him this time so she didn’t turn to look at him. He was fine just watching her sing though. A smile graced his lips when she hit a particularly tricky note. Kili could see the passion she’d put into her singing. It was something to be admired.

Kili was rather jealous when he saw everyone dancing. It had been so long since he’d been able to. There was always something to celebrate back home. Even when there wasn’t the people would make something up. There was always dancing and all the dwarves would join in. It was a very merry affair. That’s why he was very saddened when Ellen said that he couldn’t join in. He was still rather blue when they got into the car to head home. Leah had seen his mood and suggested that there was a way he could go dancing.

Kili was very eager and may have agreed over enthusiastically. They went to a tavern first, the same one that they went to last time. This time he thankfully didn’t need to fight anyone. After a few drinks they had moved onto a ‘Club’ as Leah called it. Though the only club he knew of was the weapon kind. Apparently it was some kind of dance hall. 

Leah was quite tipsy already, she didn’t seem to handle alcohol well. She kept trying to poke him in the face for some unknown reason. Kili just laughed and brushed her hand away. When they finally got inside Kili was initially overwhelmed. The music was deafening and mutli-coloured lights flashed across the room. As soon as he recovered he dragged both Leah and Anika onto the dance floor.

At one point Anika had gone to get some drinks which left him and Leah to dance. Her dancing was...something. He guessed what she lacked in dancing she made up for in singing.

“Kili you’ve got some moves” she yelled “I didn’t know how well you could dance”.

Considering how often dwarves danced it wasn’t surprising that he had picked up a few things. After 77 years you expect to be somewhat proficient.

“And you’ve got, whatever in Durin’s name that is” He said pointing to her as she waved her arms to the music.

She gasped at his accusation making him crack up. “I’m dancing obviously. Maybe you’ve heard of it” she joked.

That’s one word for it, he guessed. Then a thought formed in his mind. He could show her how it’s done. Without warning he had grabbed one of her hands and the other had found her waist. Having her this close he nearly lost his composure. She was beautiful. Her eyes shone in the light. It took him a few seconds to regain his thoughts and then he started dancing. With him leading she was a lot better. Her exploding laugh sent warmth right through his chest. He didn’t think he’d ever smiled so wide. 

When it reached the end of the song he made a split second decision to dip her. The fall made her giggle and her held her with ease. He didn’t stand up straight away though. Simply stood there holding her. There faces a mere inch apart. Everything else seemed to fade away. It was only those two. Leah’s pupils widened and he could feel her breath across his face. His eyes roamed her face and landed on her lips. Mahal he wanted to kiss her so badly in that moment. He even moved closer, their noses brushing together.

Then Anika had shown up with their drinks. He straightened Leah up quickly and tried to smile innocently. Durin’s beard what was he doing? He’d nearly kissed her. What if she didn’t feel the same? He could have ruined their friendship. Kili berated himself after that and tried to act as if nothing had happened.

Leah had ended up drinking way more than she should have done. He wasn’t even sure how much she drank. This girl did not handle drink well. At one point the bouncer had seen her stumbling and told us we should take her home. We had already agreed to go home by that point and happily left the dance hall. The bun that he had in his hair had started to come out at the back of his head. Swiftly, he pulled the hair tie out and his hair fell back down in ringlets around his face. The air was crisp and cool enough to clear his head slightly. He had drank quite a bit but he was a dwarf and he’d be damned if he couldn’t handle his liquor. 

Anika was faring better than Leah was. Apparently she went out more often than Leah did. It showed. Leah was currently being led away from the club by Anika. She would not stop complimenting her or telling her how much she loved her.

“I loooove yoooou, babes. Babe bebe be,” Leah slurred, half stumbling over a bump in the street.

Anika just about caught her in time “Damn, you’re like Bambi on ice”

Kili didn’t know who Bambi was but Leah did sort of look like someone who was struggling to stand on a frozen puddle.

Leah continued her drunken babbling to the amusement of Anika.“I hear you Babe” then she turned to Kili and told him “She should probably go home now”

“Agreed” he said. She should probably sleep it off.

Leah whirled around then and seemed very surprised to see him there

“KILI! When did you get here?” she yelled as she launched herself at him. 

He was unprepared as Leah wrapped her arms around him. Her face was snuggled into his neck. For a moment it felt like he couldn’t move. Every nerve ending was alight. She was so close, he could smell the scent of her hair soap.

“You’re my favourite” she breathed against his neck.

He barely suppressed a shiver at the sensation. Anika was giving him a knowing grin and he tried to school his expression. Kili ran a hand down her back as Leah did the same to him. One of her hands then started to drag their nails down his back. The sensation jolted through him and he stopped himself from making a noise. Mahal that felt good. As if that wasn’t enough suddenly Leah’s nose was grazing the skin of his neck. He couldn’t breathe.

“You smell so nice” She said “It’s ilgal. ile. ill.e.gal...we need to run before the police find out”

He had no idea what she was talking about. However she was suddenly turning around in his arms and trying to run off.  Kili grabbed her before she could and held her to him again.

“You don’t need to worry about the police, Leah” Kili laughed.

Anika was laughing at her antics too. “I’ve booked you an uber on Leah’s phone so it’s already paid for.” she said, handing him Leah phone back. “My uber should arrive at pretty much the same time”.

“Will you be okay on your own?” he asked, surely she shouldn’t be going alone.

“I’ll be fine Geri, and anyway and rather not have to share the backseat with that” she pointed to Leah “No offense”.

Kili laughed along with her. Leah continued to snuggle him as they waited for the uber. She seemed very reluctant to let go of him when the car arrived. Getting her to sit in it was a nightmare. 

“Are you okay from here Kili?” Anika asked

Kili nodded “I think so”

“Well, make sure she doesn’t hurt herself and get home safe” Anika gave him a quick hug goodbye before getting into her own uber. Then he was left all alone with a very drunk, very cuddly Leah.

He got into the car and made sure that both of them were fastened in. Leah had sat in the middle and refused to move so he just buckled her into that seat. It took a few moments but Leah realised that he was next to her and her face lit up. Then she firmly attached herself to his arm. She looked up at him with such light in her eyes he couldn’t help but smile back. 

Then her hand reached up and he felt her fingers gently caress his face “You’re so pretty”. Her fingers were stroking his beard. Kili froze. His eyes widened. Having someone touch your beard was a big thing. Especially when it’s someone you have feelings for. Mahal he couldn’t cope. Then as if that wasn’t enough one of her fingers started to trace his bottom lip. “Pretty smile” His mouth fell open in a gasp. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest. She almost poked him in the eye when he wasn’t paying attention “And eyes”.

He held her hand to prevent her from poking him further. She thought he was pretty? The thought made his heart sing. After so long being considered an unattractive dwarf it was unbelievable that she considered him pretty.

Kili had stopped holding her hand and it had started to wander again. This time if was in his hair. Time seemed to stop as she ran her fingers through it. He stopped breathing and his heart skipped a beat. Her ministrations sent tingles across his scalp and down his back. He couldn’t suppress a shiver this time. 

“You’re hair is so soft Kili” she murmured, “It’s nice to play with”

“Th.Thank you” said Kili breathlessly.

She didn’t stop playing with his hair for the rest of the journey. He almost thought his heart was going to burst from his chest. Mahal have mercy.

Soon the house appeared in front of them and Kili hastily opened the door. A little too hasty as Leah started to tip forward. He managed to lift her up and unbuckle her. Clumsily she made it out of the car. Kili thanked the driver before turning towards the house. 

Leah did not look very stable on her feet. He was proven right a few seconds later when she tripped over a rock and nearly face planted the floor. Kili managed to reach her before she could hurt herself. After deliberating for a few seconds he decided that it would be easier if he carried her. Swiftly, he lifted Leah into his arms and made his way inside. Opening the door was a bit complicated but he handled it.

He traversed the stairs as quietly as he could. Trying not to wake up Ellen. She probably wouldn’t appreciate being disturbed. They were just outside her bedroom door when he heard her speak up again. “You’re my knight in shining armour” 

Kili gave a breathy laugh at the statement. Next thing he felt her hand against his cheek, pulling him towards her. Kili assumed she wanted to say something else to him so he turned more to look at her. He was wrong. Her lips were on his before he could register it. They were so soft against his own. All rational thought left his mind. At once a strong, overpowering sensation seemed to explode from chest and he nearly dropped her.

She moved her head away from him. Eyes closed and a sleepy smile “I missed”. Then she promptly fell asleep.

Leah was asleep while Kili’s mind was in chaos. He knew exactly what that sensation meant. All dwarves did. Amad always said that you just knew. He never realised what she meant until that moment.

Leah was his One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like things are starting to happen now :)
> 
> Can't help falling in love- Elvis Presley  
> Thousand years- Christina Perri  
> 5678- Steps


	11. Oh the heart it hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I somehow wrote this whole chapter in a day.   
> No editing, we use our first draft like men.

The world was pain. And sideways. Everything seemed to list to the left. Oh god. Hungover was too tame a word for what was happening. A pain was pulsing directly behind my eyelids. With each heartbeat the pain would flare up. My stomach muscles spasmed and nausea permeated my very being. Eugh. I needed to move before I threw up. 

Cracking my eyes open slightly I tried to gauge my surroundings. The light sent sharp pains across my head. I screwed my eyes tight to try and neutralise it. Taking several deep breaths to quell the sudden nausea as well. After a few breaths I steeled myself and opened my eyes again. It wasn’t as painful this time and I took it as a sign that I should move. With increased difficulty I managed to get myself into an upright position. The room spun as I moved and I knew had to reach the bathroom quickly.

Half stumbling and banging into walls, I managed to reach the bathroom in time for me to throw up. After it seemed to stop I rested my head on my arm- which was balanced on the toilet seat- just in case another bout of nausea rose up. My body ached and I knew I wouldn’t be able to move for a while. Good lord I hadn’t been this bad in so long. Normally I stopped drinking when I reached a certain point of tipsy. However I think my nerves last night had gotten the better of me resulting in the mess you see before you.

I could remember bits and pieces about last night. Most of it was still there, I remembered dancing and laughing. However parts towards the end of the night were very fuzzy. Like I had no idea how I had gotten home. Thankfully I did. Being unable to remember parts of the night left me feeling very uneasy. I hated being unable to recall things that had happened. What if I had been a complete asshole or something? I don’t think I had been though. Anika had informed me, in the past, that I was a rather love-y drunk. So I was more likely to hug you and tell you how good you look rather than start a fight.

I had no idea how long I lay there. Time was still too syrupy for me to comprehend. My eyes had closed at one point and I’m pretty sure I had fallen asleep. I was jostled awake by someone’s hand on my shoulder. Opening my eyes blearily I tried to see who it was. The image was blurry and my hair was in front of my eyes blocking my view. Thankfully, the person reached over and picked up the hair from my eyes and placed it behind my ear. Now unobstructed I could see that it was Kili. His eyebrows were drawn together, looking very concerned. He also seemed strangely vulnerable and uncertain. Probably unsure what to do about how to handle me being ill. Yeah I’m sure that’s it.

“Are you okay?” Kili asked.

A red blush spread across his cheeks when I looked him in the eyes. That was an odd reaction. Kili didn’t usually blush. He usually left that to me. However I didn’t put much more thought into it as the feelings of my insides dying held more precedence in that moment.

“Mmmeh” I groaned, lips curling downwards sadly.

Kili let out a small laugh at the noise I made.

“Don’t laugh my pain” I pleaded halfheartedly.

“I’m not, I promise.” he said, though it was still with a smile on his face. “Come on you’ll feel better somewhere that’s not a bathroom”

Kili reached under my armpits and went to lift me to my feet. I grumbled momentarily but realised that it was stupid to resist. It probably would be better if I wasn’t clinging to a toilet for dear life. My legs were shaky but they stayed up underneath me. Realising that I wasn’t going to collapse Kili let go of my arms. I didn’t have as much confidence in my abilities as Kili seemed to though. Not wanting to risk falling, I looped my arm through Kili’s and held on. Kili jumped a little at the surprise contact but then started to lead me out of the bathroom.

When we got into the hallway I could see Mum just leaving her room. She saw us and her eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh my days Leah. How much did you drink last night?” Mum said with a laugh in her voice.

I wonder what clued her in to the fact that I drank a lot. Was it the birds nest hair? Was it the fact that I was still wearing the same dress from yesterday? Or my very pale complexion and pained stare? It’s hard to tell really.

My free hand reached up and rubbed my weary eyes. “I need love and sympathy right now Mum I’m fragile”

“Okay Miss Fragile, go back to bed and I’ll bring you some water and a bowl” mum laughed, shaking her head before heading downstairs.

Kili then led me back into my room and lay me down on my bed. The pillows had been rearranged so that I could be vaguely sitting up. As I climbed into bed, my body protested at all the movement. I felt so shaky. Honestly it felt like if you shook me hard enough I would disintegrate like a dry sandcastle. Just a pile of atoms on the floor.

Mum arrived with a water bottle and a bowl in case I needed to be sick again. She also handed me some pain killers. Hopefully I didn’t throw them back up before they could be useful. Mum warned me to sip my water rather than gulp it before she left my room. Leaving me to my own pit of despair. Well I wasn’t quite alone. Kili hadn’t left me just yet. He had milled about awkwardly in the corner while Mum had been sorting things out.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, coming to stand closer to the bed.

“Not great” I said “But better than being on the bathroom floor”

“That’s good then” He looked away then, his hand was worrying the sleeve of his shirt “Can you remember much about last night?” he said it in a jokey manner but I could tell that there was something underlying the question.

“Oh god did I do something stupid” I groaned. I knew I’d done something but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. “Did I get us kicked out of the club or something?”

“No, no...well actually we were politely asked to take you home by one of the guards outside” Kili smiled down at me.

Guards? Oh wait he meant the bouncers didn’t he. Calling them guards made them sound so much cooler though. 

I had a sense that, that wasn’t the thing Kili had wanted me to remember though. My mind was drawing a blank. Looking back up to Kili, I went to ask what I’d done. My eyes were then drawn to his hair and a memory swam to the surface. We were in a car I think- must have been the taxi- and my hands were in Kili’s hair. Running my fingers through the strands.

“Oh god” I covered my face with my hands at my realisation “I touched your hair didn’t I?”

I was mortified. That was such an invasion of personal space. Especially considering that he was a dwarf. I’d basically assaulted the poor guy.

Kili’s face reddened slightly “Well… yes. But you shouldn’t feel bad about it” he said trying to comfort me. “We could call it even I guess considering I braided yours yesterday.” He had now gone bright red and refused to look in my direction.

“I’m really sorry Kili” I said. He turned back to me then, seeming to be more calm now. “I’ll have to make it up to you somehow” preferably when I’m not five seconds away from throwing up.

“You could always make me some more of those scotch eggs” he said with a smile.

“Scotch eggs it is then” I smiled back

* * *

I did make him some scotch eggs but it was a few days later when I wasn’t so delicate. He had been very appreciative of them. However I wanted to make him something better. Something he could keep. I wasn’t sure where the idea had sprung from but once it was there I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That led me to rush to a crafts shop and hope Kili had no idea what I was doing. Anika had agreed to help me as well. So I went over to Anika’s house while Kili was doing his sword practice.

It was going to be a scrapbook. Of all of Kili’s time here. There were plenty of photos to go into it as Kili was never shy about a camera. Anika helped me choose which photos to put into it. There were ones of Kili with Anika and her family. Ones with Mum and I. There was some from when we’d taken Kili to the zoo. He had been amazed by the aquariums. Mostly though the photos were just of Kili and I. 

Deep down I knew this was more than a ‘sorry’ present. This was something I would have wanted to make him regardless. He should have a piece of this world when he goes back. 

When he goes back.

I had been thinking about it a lot more recently. There were times when it felt like the sand in an hour glass was reaching its end. A tingling feeling in the back of your neck. Anticipatory. Like you were holding your breath waiting for something to happen. Most of the time I just pushed the feeling down. I was being silly. Kili wasn’t going to leave yet. If I thought about it for too long though my stomach would drop and I’d struggle to breathe for a moment.

When the scrapbook was done I was very pleased with it. The book itself was made out of a leather type material. I knew it wasn’t real leather, I’m not made of money. It was a darkish blue in colour with a gold picture of planet Earth embossed into the cover. Inside was the photos I had printed off. There was little descriptions next to each one to help Kili remember them better. At the back there had been blank pages where you could write things. I didn’t want to leave them blank so I decided to write in the lyrics to some of his favourite songs. That way he could sing them in Middle Earth if he wanted to. It had been difficult to choose songs though as he seemed to say that everything was his favourite. In the end I chose the ones that I definitely remember him enjoying. Anika had drew some little pictures beside each song for me. She was a lot better at drawing than I was.

I wanted to give it to him as soon as I had finished it. I managed to stop myself though. This deserved a cool moment. One that wasn’t just me rushing into his room, dropping and running away. An idea came to mind about one of the forests near where I lived. It just suddenly appeared in my head and I knew it was the perfect place to go. The woods were in walking distance and there was some wonderful little sights there. Meadows of wild flowers and a large lake in the middle. It was very romantic but if I thought about that for too long my face would go red and my heart rate would pick up.

Kili agreed to come with me. Very eager and wholehearted. I kept the scrapbook in my backpack as we walked over. Conversation flowed easily between us. After my realisation I had managed to reign it in and not make as much of a fool of myself. Though I still blushed whenever Kili got close.

We trekked through the forest for around an hour before we stopped in a little field. Wild flowers sprouted up along the path. Blue, red, yellow, pink. They were beautiful. A small bench appeared along the side of the path and I decided it was a good time for a break.

I swung my backpack off of my shoulders and sat down heavily. It felt nice to sit after all that walking. Kili plonked down next to me. He didn’t look as tired as I was. Selfish really.

“Feels good to sit down” Kili said. He reached into his own bag and pulled out a water bottle.

“Agreed” I took the water bottle after he’d had a drink and gulped it down. It was nice and cold thanks to the small ice pack inside it.

My backpack was in my lap and the scrapbook felt like a lead weight. I should probably show it to him soon. My heart rate picked up at the thought of giving it to him. Why was I so nervous? It wasn’t like he was going to reject it. I mean he wouldn’t, would he? Why did my anxiety have to strike now? I keep over thinking things.

Before I could back out I spoke up “Hey Kili” he looked up at me when I said his name. The eye contact wasn’t helping my nerves so I looked away quickly. Blush forming on my cheeks. “I made you something” I said playing with the zip on my backpack.

“Is it food because I’m starving” he joked.

“How are you still hungry, you’ve already eaten all of the lunch we packed” I said, thankful for the break of tension.

“I’m a growing dwarf”

“Bullshit, I already know you’re full grown” I smiled.

He laughed back and then raised an eyebrow. Waiting for me to continue. Well I’ve got to show him now haven’t I?

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, before unzipping my bag. It was at the bottom, hidden beneath a jacket. After some maneuvering I wrestled the book out of the bag and placed it on Kili’s lap. His eyes widened at the sight. Clearly it wasn’t what he had been expecting.

His fingers traced the planet symbol on the front “Wha. What is it?”

“Open it” I said, nudging his shoulder.

Carefully, he opened the front page. A gasp fell from his lips when he saw the contents. The photos and there little descriptions lay before him. An amazed smile spread across his face as he flicked through the pages.

“This is. This is amazing” he said, wonder in his voice. “You made this? For me?”

I nodded. There was so much emotion in his eyes it made my heart race. 

“Look at the back” I flipped some of the pages so you could see the songs at the back “They’re song lyrics. I thought you would like to remember them”

His hand was tracing the pages, looking at the details in them.

“So you like it?” I asked

“Like it? I love it Leah.” then he paused briefly with doubtful smile “Though it does make the gift I made you rather lackluster in comparison”

“You made me something” I gasped.

I had not been expecting that. The fact that he had made me a present sent warm feelings across my chest. Kili then reached into his own bag and brought out something. It was small enough to fit into his hands and he was hiding it from my view.

“Give me your wrist” he said quietly. “And close your eyes”

I handed him my left wrist, an eyebrow raised questioningly. He gave me a pointed look and I closed my eyes. A smile gracing my face. I felt him grab my hand before slipping something on my wrist. He fiddled with something then the thing got tighter and formed to my wrist. A bracelet? After a few more adjustments Kili said I could open my eyes. I gasped when I saw it.

It was a cuff bracelet made out of leather. A leather braid snaked along the top and bottom of the cuff. It tied together on the inside of my wrist. Along the middle I saw that there were runes carved into the leather. On either side of the runes, geometric shapes had been cut out so I could see my skin beneath. Now I know what all the swatches of leather were for that he had hidden from me before.

“Kili you made this?” I said, a huge smile on my face.

Kili had started to blush, a hand rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I know it’s not much. If I had more materials I could make it better. Add some jewels and a clasp”

I put my hand on his cheek to stop his rambling. Making him look at me. “I love it as it is Kili, it’s amazing. I can’t believe you made this”

Kili leaned more into my hand and the happiest smile spread across his face. “I’m glad you like it” he breathed.

It would be so easy to kiss him right now. Just lean forward slightly and I could. I tried to calm my racing heart. I needed to stop being silly. Kili wouldn’t want that right? Of course he wouldn’t be having the same feelings as me. Even if he did make me this amazing gift.

 I dropped my hand away from his face. For a second his eyes looked sad at the loss of contact but it was gone in an instant. I must have imagined it.

“So is this Khuzdul then?” I asked, running my finger along the runes.

“Er yes” he said, looking a bit nervous.

“Does it say penis?” I joked, trying to break the tension.

He laughed suddenly in surprise “Yes that’s exactly what it says” his previous nervousness seemed to vanish.

I laughed too “So what does it really say?”

“No, no it says penis” he said, a smug grin on his face.

“Oh come on, I know it doesn’t actually say that, ”

He didn’t budge though and refused to tell me what it really said. I’d get it out of him at some point though.

* * *

After having a little rest we decided to go for a wander again. This time off of the path. I felt like I vaguely knew where I was going. I’m sure that there was a good view up the hill a bit. Kili packed the scrapbook into his own bag and followed me. As we walked, my hand kept wandering towards the cuff and I’d smile. He had made this for me, with his own two hands. It was more thoughtful than any store bought gift would be. More work had gone into this than had gone into my gift for Kili. I could tell. Kili hadn’t thought so though. He seemed to think that it wasn’t good enough but I’d beg to differ.

It was a beautiful day and the sunlight shone through the trees. The air was crisp and I could hear wildlife all around us. We had stopped at the bottom of a small incline. I wasn’t sure which way we were supposed to go next.

“I can’t remember if we’re supposed to go up this bit or make our way round it first” I said puzzled, I looked at Kili hoping for some inspiration.

“Don’t look at me, your supposed to be the expert here” he said with a smile.

“I know” I sighed. Then an idea came to mind “I think if I wander up there for a minute I’d be able to see if that was the way” I said pointing up the hill. “You wait here I won’t be 5 minutes”

“Well don’t get lost please” said Kili.

“Have more faith in me,” I said, giving his shoulder a shove.

I gave Kili a mock salute before clambering up the hill. He gave me a small laugh but thankfully remained where he was. The hill was a little steeper than I had previously thought and I was rather breathless. Towards the top I could see a small track off to the side. Not the most visible as it had been made by only a few people. I remembered following that little path with Mum once. So this was the way we were supposed to go.

I was just about to turn back when my body froze. The air crackled like static and it was suddenly hard to breathe. The hairs on my body stood on end and my heart raced in my chest. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. The last time was… Oh no 

“Kili!” I yelled.

Without preamble I raced back down the hill. Nearly tripping several times. My hands were grazed by the tree branches but I didn’t care. I could hear it now, picking up on the wind. That strange alien humming that drew you closer. Only this time it wasn’t me that it was drawing in. I couldn’t feel the same pull as last time. But it was drawing someone.

“Kili!” I yelled again but I couldn’t see him.

I had made it to the bottom of the hill but I still couldn’t see him. Panic had started to set in and It felt like I couldn’t get a breath. Whipping my head around I tried to locate him.

That’s when I saw the white light. Shining through the trees. I raced towards it without a second thought. It was the same as last time. Shards of shattered reality floating through the air. The near blinding light that emanated out. 

And a shadow of Kili in the centre.

NO.

I got there in time to watch the pieces of reality fit back together. But Kili was gone.

* * *

Kili

Leah didn’t remember kissing him. He didn’t tell her though. Though he would never admit it, the reason he hadn’t was because he was scared. Scared in case she had not meant to kiss him that night and that her feelings were very different from his own. He tried to play it cool and pretend he was unaffected. However the fact that she was his One never left his mind. It was like he had physically changed. It may not outwardly look it but Kili could feel it, in his heart. 

He would do anything for her.

Kili had already started making the bracelet long before he had found out she was his one. He couldn’t say, at the time, why he had started it. Now he realised that he probably instinctively knew something. A gift like this was a courting gift, plain and simple. Anyone from back home would automatically know as soon as they saw it. Leah probably wouldn’t though. He would have to explain it. The thought made his stomach do weird flips.

He had altered the bracelet slightly since his revelation. What was once blank now contained Khuzdul runes. Amrâlimê. Love of mine.When Leah had asked him if he wanted to go for a walk he had agreed eagerly. It would be a chance for Kili to give her the gift. He hoped that she would accept it. 

The nerves started to creep in the further they walked. He would have to show it to her at some point. But whenever he would go to he somehow ended up talking himself out of it. It wasn’t the right moment or the setting was wrong. In actuality, he realised that he was just stalling.

When they finally sat down he had decided to just suck it up and give her the bracelet. He had even reached into his bag to get it. Then at the very last moment he had grabbed the water bottle instead. He just needed a drink first, that was it. Leah had readily accepted the water off of him. Both of them had worked up quite a thirst from the walk.

What Leah did next shocked him greatly. It seemed she had beaten him to the punch and had gotten him a gift. She had made him a gift! His heart nearly burst when he saw it. It was the most amazing present anyone had ever given him. It was those pictures, that were so lifelike. It was him and Leah. He knew that Leah probably wouldn’t see the significance of the gift. Wouldn’t realise that it was essentially a courting gift also. It didn’t stop the wave of joy that filled his heart though.

His own gift seemed to pale in comparison. If he’d had access to the crafting materials back in Ered Luin he would have been able to craft something far grander. Leah had stopped him wallowing and worrying though. She loved it. 

His eyes had brimmed with such emotion at her declaration. She loved something that he had made for her. There was no greater feeling. Her hand was on his cheek. Last time it was there she had kissed him. He silently hoped that it would happen again. Maybe he should lean in this time. But then her hand had moved and the moment was gone. He was saddened for a second but he didn’t let it spoil his mood. He had already gotten more than he hoped for.

“So is this Khuzdul then?” she asked, her fingers traced the runes he had carved there. The runes that said ‘Love of mine’ in khuzdul.

“Er yes” he said nervously. 

Oh Mahal, he would have to tell her now. He could feel his mouth go dry. What would she say?

“Does it say penis?” She laughed

Her response surprised him so much that he immediately broke down laughing. The tension melted away. “Yes that’s exactly what it says” 

“So what does it really say?”

He thought for a moment before deciding that it would be funnier if he didn’t tell her what it said. It would also be easier on his nerves. He’d have to tell her further down the line.

“No, no it says penis” he said, a smug grin on his face.

Her face was priceless.

Leah had then decided that they should venture off the beaten track. At first she seemed to know where she was going. Following some route her mother had taken her on a few times. She would reach certain points though, where she had to stop and try to remember where to go. That led to them being at the bottom of a slight hill with Leah debating whether they needed to go over it or around it. She had volunteered to climb up and see if it jogged her memory. Kili left her to it.

He had leaned against a tree and crossed his arms. Deciding to wait for her there. His mind had drifted as he waited. Recalling her face when he gave her the gift. Wanting to look through his own. However his thoughts were violently cut off. A shock ran through him, like being dunked in freezing cold water out of the blue. Every nerve ending was firing. He was alert and looking around for the source of his upset.

A strange humming was emanating from the trees behind him. It was like a song or a spell. Kili was drawn towards it. He stumbled through a copse of trees to get towards the sound. That’s when he saw it. The same light that had brought him into this world. It was here to take him home. 

He didn’t run to it though. He hesitated. His mind and heart split in two. Why couldn’t he have both worlds? Before he could make a decision though, a sound emitted from the centre of the doorway.

“KILI!”

It was his brother. His brother was calling for him. There was such pain in his voice. The sound of loss and hopelessness.

“FILI!” he shouted back, his hand reached out.

The portal didn’t wait for him to move. It must have taken his shout as confirmation. One moment it was several metres away and the next it was in front of him. It had moved in less time than it had taken him to blink. The light had enveloped him immediately. It was cold and pressed in on him from all sides. For a second he couldn’t breathe, his lungs burning. The next second he had been spat out on the other side.

When he tried to open his eyes he was blinded. He reached his hand up to cover his eyes before trying again. The world slowly grew into focus. Clouds covered the sky, a big contrast to the blue skies he had just been under. The earth beneath his feet was sodden and clung to his boots. Trees, he realised, surrounded him. He was still in some kind of forest. Wait, he knew this forest. It was the same forest he had been in before he left. The one outside of his home. He also knew the dwarf standing several metres in front of him crying his name. 

Fili.

The relief upon seeing his brother nearly made him collapse. It had been so long. The longest time they had ever spent apart. Tears had started rolling down his cheeks before he even realised it.

“FILI!” he yelled with all his heart.

Fili nearly fell over with how fast he turned around. The relief that exuded from the dwarf was palpable. The anguish that had been on Fili’s face dropped and tears rose unbidden in his eyes. They ran towards each other. Couldn’t get there fast enough. When both of them were close enough they crashed into each other’s arms. Both of them released a breath. His brother sounded like he’d surfaced from deep water. Fili planted his forehead onto Kili’s. A proper, dwarven show of affection and love. Tears streamed down both of their faces.

“Kili you’re alive” Fili’s voice was tight with emotion. All the fear and relief flooded out of him.

Kili held onto his brother as if his life depended on it. It was Fili. He was really here. 

“What is that?” Fili said, uncertainty filling his voice.

Kili turned around to see the portal. It was still there but it was closing. With Leah on the other side.

“NOOO” he reached out, begging it to stop. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. 

It didn’t stop and the doorway closed. The edges melting away to nothing.

“Leah!” he yelled, sinking to the floor.

She was gone.

* * *

Leah (England- Earth)

He was gone.

How could he be gone? 

I had fooled herself into thinking that it would never actually happen. That everything would work out somehow. But it was inevitable wasn’t it? He had to go home at some point. It didn’t stop my heart from breaking though. When the portal had closed I had fallen to the ground. My feet couldn’t carry me anymore. A sob ripped its way out of my throat. 

He was gone.

I couldn’t breathe. Every breath became a cry. Not enough oxygen was getting into my body and it spurred my panic attack more. I lost all sense of my surroundings. All I could feel was the burn in my throat and the stabbing pain in my chest. God knows how long I lay like that on the forest floor. There was no Kili this time to calm me down. Somehow, I managed to centre myself enough to realise my surroundings. I needed to get home and I was in the middle of the woods, off the beaten track.

I took several deep, gulping breaths. In 4. Hold 4. Out 4. Repeat. Right I needed to prioritise. Getting home was the first task. Mental breakdown would have to be postponed until later. Shaky legged, I managed to stand up and readjust my backpack. Tears still fell from my eyes but I pushed down the bigger panic. It threatened to spill over at any moment. However I was in control for now. 

The trip back was awful. Between the tears, pain and the fear of being lost I can safely say it was my worst experience in a forest ever. Actually scratch that. Being attacked by a warg probably still held the top spot. This situation had less grievous bodily harm than the last one. That’s the only upside I guess. 

Once I found my way back to the path I half sprinted down it. Wanting to be out of this forest as soon as possible. It had taken Kili and I an hour to walk it. Thankfully it had been a slow walk and it didn’t take nearly as long to jog back. By the time I made it back to civilisation I must have looked like a demented witch. Out of breath and half wild. Bits of tree and dirt clinging to my clothes. My eyes were bloodshot and tears tracked marks down my face.

I made it back to my house and nearly fell through the door. All my energy was spent. Between having a breakdown and jogging I was close to collapsing. I must have made a lot of noise as I crashed through the door as Mum shot in the living room from the kitchen. Her eyes widened at the state I was in and she rushed over to me. Her arms opened and I fell into them.

“What happened? Are you okay? Where’s Kili?” she stammered.

Being in Mum’s arms and safe I finally let my emotions out. “He. he’s gone” I blurted.

“Gone, what do you mean gone?” it sounded like all the breath had left her.

“It came back Mum. He’s gone home. He’s gone” I stood slightly out of the hug and looked up at her.

Mum’s face fell. Like a mask she had been holding onto for so long had slipped and fallen from her face. There was such pain in her eyes, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

“No” she said, barely a whisper. “He can’t be gone Leah”

“I saw it, the light, it was the same as last time”

“But I needed to go with him. We needed to” Mum had covered her mouth with her hand. Tears were in her eyes and her voice sounded strangled. “I can’t stay like this. We needed to go with him”

She wasn’t making any sense. Why did we need to go with him? I mean yeah she had mentioned it but I didn’t think she had been serious.

“Mum what do you mean?” I was scared now. I didn’t know how to comfort her or why she was acting this way.

Mum half fell to the ground. She just about caught herself on the settee. Sobs started escaping her mouth.

“Mum?” I reached for her, tears in my voice “What do you mean? You need to tell me. I can’t help if I don’t know”

Mum had always been so stable, to see her crumble like this scared me beyond words. She sobbed a few more times, trying to get her breath. After a few seconds she was still enough to speak.

“Do you remember what I told you when that doorway first showed up?”

What was it she had said? “Something about dad?” I asked, unsure. “You’d said that it made you think of him but I’m still not sure why”

Mum nodded “I didn’t tell you the whole truth. I didn’t want you to worry and I’d hoped…” Mum broke off with a sob. “I had hoped that we would be able to follow Kili”.

I was so confused. My eyes implored Mum to continue, I needed to know.

“When that portal had opened it did make me think of your dad. But the reason it did was because it made me feel whole again. I hadn’t even realised that I was broken, I thought I had healed after he died. But it was like my soul had been missing a piece and it was back. I was whole again.

Then it closed. It was like a guillotine slicing me in half. I was broken again. Only this time I knew I was. I couldn’t be blissfully ignorant anymore. It hurt so badly. It still hurts” Mum clutched her chest, right over her heart.

New tears had sprung in my eyes at my Mum’s words. She was in pain and I couldn’t help her.

“We were supposed to follow him” she cried “He’s there, I can feel it. If we were there I wouldn’t feel like this anymore”

I held Mum as she cried; not knowing what else to do. Was she right? I was so confused about this whole situation. Surely dad couldn’t be on the other side of that portal. That would mean he was in Middle Earth and that made no sense. Dad had died. He hadn’t been transported anywhere. There’s a body at the cemetery to prove it.

When Mum had stopped crying, I coerced her into her own bed. Mum’s face had gone blank and she was staring at nothing.

* * *

A week went by and things didn’t get any better. Mum appeared to perk up but I knew it was fake. She was trying to keep up appearances for me. I knew she was. But I was scared to call her out on it. I wanted her to not have to hide anything. However there was a doubt in my mind when I tried to tell her. Maybe she was doing it for herself as well. If I brought it up she might crumble again.

You would think that the anticipatory feeling would have gone away as soon as Kili had left. However it still remained in the back of my head. It was somehow worse than before. The feeling of being on the edge of a knife. Or like something was going to crash any minute. It was awful. I found it difficult to concentrate on much.

Anika was around as often as she could be. Hugging me and helping me get through it. She still tried to make me smile even when I was crying. Her being there did help. It felt good being able to confide in someone who already knew all the weird shit that was going on. However It was hard on Anika as well. We’d all hung out together so many times these past few months. She and Kili had been good friends.

Anika was over at my house again in that moment. She was trying to distract me by putting the new season of queer eye on. I was only half watching it though. The other half of my brain was once again worrying about Mum. She had been weird again that morning. But a different weird. Mum had seemed far away and in her own thoughts. Suddenly, she had been eager to leave the house. Apparently there was something she needed to do. It was out of nowhere and I couldn’t stop her before she had gone out the door and drove off. It made me nervous. My hands fiddled with my hair incessantly. Unable to silence my anxiety.

A pillow slapped my hands out of my hair for the upteenth time that day.

“Stop messing with it you’re gonna make your hair fall out” Anika said.

“I’m sorry” I said, resisting the urge to braid my hair again.

I turned my head back to the screen, trying to concentrate on the episode. It lasted all of a second before it felt like the air was forced from my body. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I could feel an electric charge hanging in the air. Less than a second later an almighty CRASH exploded from the front of the house. The room shook and the glass in the window shattered. Nearly hitting Anika and I. Both of us screamed in terror. Anika had grabbed me and pulled me backwards.

Both of us looked out at the destruction. What had caused it? Tip toeing forward, I tried to avoid the glass. That’s when I saw it. Again. The portal was there. It blocked the window so we couldn’t see anything outside of it. Anika grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. I was grateful for the stability in that moment. 

Then suddenly- like all the times before-it melted back into reality. Shattered pieces fitting back together. Once it had disappeared I could actually see outside. It was a car. It must have crashed into the side of the house. But it wasn’t just any car. It was Mum’s. And Mum wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She was gone.

* * *

I knew it was coming for me next. Don’t ask me how I knew, I could just feel it in my gut. I’d told Anika as much. She had held onto me in a panic. None of us knew what to do. One thing I did know however was that I couldn’t go to Middle Earth unprepared. If I did then who knows what could happen to me. It may have been a fantasy but a lot of bad things could still happen. The thought of Mum there on her own made me feel sick.

Both of us somehow broke out of our panic and tried to gather things together. I found one of the hiking backpacks we’d used all those months ago in the coat cupboard. There was also a sleeping bag that could slot onto the top. It wasn’t very thick but it was better than nothing. There was already a firestarter in the bag. I handed made a fire in a long time but I could probably make one in an emergency.

Anika went through all my clothes and tried to find the best ones. I needed something where I wouldn’t stand out too badly but would also function well. That meant that quite a few were unsuitable. Anika found some of my hiking trousers though and we put those in my bag. I put in as many pairs of underwear as I dared. Sports bras were also put in the bag in lieu of normal ones. 

When we were looking through clothes it had given me an idea. I found it folded up in one of Kili’s drawers. It was the shirt that Kili had arrived in. Mum had gotten in patched up buy a tailor and it was nearly as good as new. lifting up the heavy material I brought it to my face. I’m sure Kili wouldn’t mind if I borrowed it. I convinced myself that I was just simply returning it to its owner. Self-consciously, I looked around before slipping the shirt over my head. There was a lot of room in the shoulders and the sleeves dangled past my hands. Rolling the sleeves up a few times seemed to do the trick though. I felt strangely giddy. Even in the wake of all this chaos. It’s sort of what a kid feels like when they put on an adults shirt, I guess. Like you know it’s not yours and the size difference is funny.

I shook my head and tried to focus more. That’s when I saw Kili’s dagger. It was on his bedside table. Reaching out I picked it up. The blade slid out of its leather sheath easily. It was very angular. Straight most of the way across but then came to a very sharp triangular point. Dwarves did seem to love geometric shapes. They were very Art Deco. The weight was quite light. It was probably made for throwing around.

Slipping it back into its sheath, I deliberated. It would probably be better if I had some form of protection with me. I slipped it into the bag when I went back into my room. Anika raised an eyebrow at the shirt but didn’t say anything. She had sorted out some toiletries while I was gone. A toothbrush, mini hairbrush, shampoo bar etc. Anika told me it would probably be better to have one bar of soap than many bottles. Less to carry that way. She had also found a diva cup. The one used for periods. I’d never used it but it would be better than bleeding in a forest, I guess.

Both of us spoke as if this wasn’t happening. As if we were simply packing for a trip. I don’t think it had quite clicked in yet. But the feeling of foreboding was getting bigger. It weighed heavier on me with each passing second. 

Night was fast approaching. We had packed everything we could think of and double checked it again. There were a few photos that I had shoved into my bag as well. I couldn’t go without some memories. At some point, I had put on my coat and my walking boots. Both of us were sat outside in the garden. Now we’d had chance to sit I think the whole situation came crashing down on us at once. Anika burst into tears and wrapped her arms around me

“I don’t want you to go” She cried “You’re my best friend”

“I know” I replied, tears in my eyes too.

“I love you, you know that right?” Anika said

“I love you too”

Anika leaned back. Her hands caressed my face. “You are going to be the best thing Middle Earth has ever seen. Do you hear me? You are going to find your Mum and marry a dwarf and everyone will be happy” She said through tears.

I gave a watery smile and nodded. She left no room for argument.

Then I reached up to Anika’s face. “And you are going to be happy. With a loving family. And you’re going to be the best English teacher that ever lived”

We both laughed sadly.

I could feel it then. The humming came first and this time it was me it was drawing in. A light bloomed behind me. It reflected in Anika’s scared eyes. I gave Anika a crushing hug. Hoping to imbue with as much love as possible. If this was the last time I’d see her then I wanted to make sure she knew how much she meant to me. Anika held me tightly. 

I was the first one to break away. The humming song had gotten louder and harder to ignore.

“I love you” Anika said, one last time.

“I love you too” I said.

Then the light swallowed me up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally in Middle Earth now my dudes. I'm excited to get into the actual hobbit story now.


	12. I'm stuck in space and time

Kili (Ered Luin- Middle Earth)

He was home. Of course he was happy. But it was tainted with loss. How could his one be from another world? One that he couldn’t reach and was now lost to him. Could fate really be this cruel to him? To give him someone to love only to snatch them away as soon as he realised his feelings. Losing a loved one was hard enough but losing a ‘One’ didn’t bear thinking about. 

Reuniting with his family had been a light in the darkness, at least. Fili had rushed them both home as fast as he could. Dragging a devastated Kili behind him. Seeing his home felt surreal. After spending so long in a different world the differences were startling. As soon as Kili reached the mountain he was swarmed by a big group of dwarves. All over the moon to see him. They patted him heavily on the back and gave him crushing hugs. Some were crying, happy tears. Their prince had returned from the supposed grave after all.

His Amad nearly barrelled him over with how fast she ran towards him. Tears were streaming down her face and she was babbling was near incoherent. Seeing her made Kili crumble. He held onto her so tightly. His own tears breaching his eyes. Home, he was home. A Strong hand gripped onto his left shoulder. Kili saw that it belonged to his Uncle Thorin. He would give him a hug as soon as his Amad relinquished her grip on him.

When his Amad leaned back her eyes widen and her nose wrinkled in confusion. She brought her hand up to his face. Her hands touching his beard.

“You’re beard Kili. It’s grown” her voice was a mixture of pride and confusion.

He wasn’t surprised by her confusion. Before he left his lack of beard was a source of contention. There were some people who had outwardly mocked him. Obviously they never spoke up when his family was around. They would have probably lost a limb.

“And what in Durin’s name are you wearing?” That was Dwalin who had been standing in the corner. His brother, Balin, was standing next to him.

Kili looked down at his attire. He was currently wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with tiny people on. Leah said they were ‘astronauts’ but he hadn’t understood the reference. His trousers were a bright green which matched his bright green zip up hoodie. He had so much to explain he didn’t even know where to begin.

“You go missing for a week and you come back with a beard, new clothes. Mahal! I saw you fall off a cliff and you’re not even injured.” said Fili there was a laugh in his voice but he was verging on hysterics.

Kili wheeled around towards Fili. Shock clear on his face “A Week! Fili I’ve been gone for months!” 

“What?!” echoed from many dwarves.

He had a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

 

At first they struggled to believe him. It wasn’t surprising. His situation was without a doubt one of the craziest things that had ever happened. However, once the evidence started piling up they had no choice but to believe him. His clothes were surely not of this world. The lack of injuries from a warg attack. Fili himself had seen the portal that his brother had fallen out of. What had cemented his claims however, were the pictures in his bag. Kili had searched the bag for anything that could back him up. When his gaze fell upon the book he let out a gasp. His chest clenched painfully and a tears brimmed his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, hoping no one noticed.

Kili had picked up the book and opened it to a random page. He hadn’t even looked through the book himself yet so the pictures there were a surprise to him also. When he had shown his family their eyes nearly bulged out of their head. Their awe was palpable. They’d never seen anything like it. A painting so clear and true to life. After that they believed wholeheartedly. 

They wanted to know everything. Kili tried his best but even he didn’t understand quite a lot of the world he’d just vacated. Some of the answers he gave were complete guesses. He didn’t worry about it though. After all they would never be able to prove him otherwise. 

The idea of a world with only the race of Men and no magic was the biggest source of confusion. How did they survive? What do you mean they don’t have any Valar? How was their world created then? Kili did struggle with answering those questions.

After hours of back and forth Kili was well and truly exhausted. He could feel it in his bones and his limbs felt so heavy. His family had planned to hold a feast in his honour but he didn’t think he could handle it. Thankfully his Amad had swooped in and saved him. She managed to get the feast postponed for few days. He needed to recover after all. Eventually, most of the dwarves had gone leaving only Thorin, his Amad and Fili.

Kili was sat in front of the fire, staring into the dancing flames. Amad came and sat on his left side, Fili on the other. Thorin remained standing near the fire, arms crossed against his chest. Kili’s head fell onto his Amad’s shoulder as soon as she sat down. He was so tired. Today had been too much for his mind to cope with in one go. Closing his eyes, he tried to block out the world. If only for a moment. The scrapbook was a comforting weight on his lap. He had refused to part with it. Even when he was showing everyone; he made sure that no one else held it.

“Kili” his Amad jostled him from his reverie.

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She had a small smile on her face but her eyes were still full of concern for her youngest child. Her eyes then drifted towards the scrapbook in his lap.

“Will you tell me about them? The people in the paintings” her voice was so soft as if she feared he would break if she spoke too loudly.

His heart clenched painfully. He wasn’t sure if he could speak about them yet. The loss was too fresh. However, when he looked around he realised that he was surrounded by the people who loved him most in this world. They cared about him and wanted to know that he had been safe. Seeing their faces after so long away gave him enough courage to tell them.

Steeling himself, he opened the book on his lap. Flicking through to find the best pictures to show them.

“This is Lady Ellen Orrison” Kili said, pointing to one of the pictures in front of him. It had been taken the day he had performed for the wedding. He chose to stick with formalities when introducing people. 

“She was one of the people that were there when I first arrived in that other world. She was formidable enough to scare away a warg with nothing more than a branch” his mouth quirked at the memory. It still astounded him that she had accomplished such a feat. “She made sure that my wounds were tended to and gave me a place to stay. I was given food and clothes and everything I could ever need. At one point I told her that it was too much but she shut me down very quickly and said that my mother would feel better knowing I was taken care of. I couldn’t really argue after that” Kili smiled.

Dis gave a small laugh at that. Hearing that he was looked after so well, gave her such a great feeling of relief. She was sad that she would never get to thank the woman for protecting her son. 

Kili flicked through the book once more. After a few flips of the pages he found one what he was after. “This one is Lady Anika Jones” The picture was from that first day that Leah had taken him to university with her. “She was a good friend and very funny. Even if she did like to make jokes at my expense. She’d taken to calling me Geri because she thought I was old”

Kili looked up at the confused faces around him “Apparently 77 is old in human years and geriatric means old person. Hence Geri” 

Fili gave a breathy laugh and an amused smile pulled at the corners of Thorin’s mouth. Kili then showed them a picture of Anika’s very large family. Leah must have taken it while they had gone over to eat with them. He was on the floor surrounded by children. Little Leo was on his lap.

“I didn’t know you did so well with children Kili” Said Thorin, as he peered down at the book.

“Me neither” said Kili with a smile.

Kili looked down again at the scrapbook. He knew he should show them who Leah was but he felt his breath catch in his throat. Flipping through once more he tried to find a picture to show them. He may have gotten caught up in looking through them. Seeing her smiling face made his heart skip a beat. He didn’t realise he was crying until a teardrop landed on the picture in front of him. Quickly, he wiped his face. Hoping no one had seen. 

They had though, of course. His Amad wrapped her hand around his and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Who is she Kili?” whispered his Amad.

“...Leah” he said breathlessly.

Fili’s eyes widened in recognition of the name. It was the name Kili had called out when the portal had disappeared.

“She was...she was amazing” Kili said, his eyes stared unfocused at the scrapbook in front of him.

He told them everything he could about Leah. Once he started he couldn’t stop. No one interrupted him while he spoke. They just let him say what he needed to.

“She was my One Amad. And now she’s gone” Kili’s voice broke as he spoke. 

“Oh inùdoy kurdu! ” His Amad had tears in her eyes too. She held him tightly whispering comforts into his hair.

* * *

 

Many months passed. Kili had hoped that the hurt would lessen as time went on. However it only seemed to intensify. He had grown into quite a solemn dwarf. His family was always there to help him though. Fili would make him smile or provide a distraction when he needed it. Uncle Thorin mostly treated him the same, which he was grateful for. He didn’t want everyone treating him differently or giving him pitying glances. However, there was a deep understanding in Thorin’s eyes now. Even if he hadn’t lost a One, he’d known enough of loss to empathise with Kili.

The quest was probably one of the main things that kept him going. Knowing how it might end he knew he needed to prepare. Firstly, he had, had to convince Thorin to let him go. Apparently when he was missing he’d told Fili that they were no longer going on the quest. When Kili heard that he nearly had a heart attack. He needed to go on that quest. They would surely die if he wasn’t there. After an argument or two, Thorin finally gave in. He’d even told Thorin about the stories from Leah’s world. About how they had to be prepared for the quest. How Orcs were likely to pursue them. Obviously he didn’t tell them about their potential deaths. They’d never let him go if he told them. He wasn’t sure if Thorin believed him or not though.

* * *

 

Six months after his return to this world saw the start of the quest for Erebor. His Uncle had left for the Iron Hills a month previously. In hopes of bringing in more dwarves to the company. Fili and Kili would be travelling together from Ered Luin to the Shire. The Wizard told them that the 14th member of the company would meet them there. His name was Bilbo Baggins and he was a hobbit. He remembered Leah mentioning him before. If there was any doubt about her future knowledge before it was gone now. She couldn’t have guessed the exact name or race of the other company member without already knowing it. 

The princes were given ponies that were fully kitted out for long travel. Kili had named his Merlin, after a story Leah had told him. One of the guards led the two ponies out of the stables to prepare them for travel. The shirt the guard was wearing was a light grey with a  large ornamental zip that went up the front. That was perhaps one of the most surprising things that had happened since he returned. A tailor had seen the jacket he had arrived in, and was fascinated by the zip mechanism. Not long afterwards, the tailor had managed to replicate it. It was now the latest fashion trend. Many dwarrowdams had taken to sewing a thick zip up the front of their dresses. The zipper pulls were often ornamented with jewels as a fashion statement.

Kili shook his head, still amused by the new trend. Leah would have loved it. She would have found it hilarious, he knew. The quick thought of Leah then dampened his mood. He tried not to let it show though. Climbing onto Merlin, he gave Ered Luin one last glance. Then he and Fili urged their ponies on.

Their quest had begun.

* * *

 

Leah (?- Middle Earth)

The light blinded me. Even when I shut my eyes it burned through the lids. A pressure seemed to surround me from all sides. Like being submerged in water. Only it compressed against me with a much stronger force than water ever could. I was being crushed and pulled. Everything hurt. My body felt like it was being ripped apart. Atom by atom. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. My very being seemed to explode outwards. Like the pieces of shattered reality around the portal. They hung there, floating. Suspended in the ethereal light. Then, like the portal, the pieces imploded and melted back together. Fusing my body back together. Reforming me.

Without warning everything stopped. Where blinding light had once been was replaced by darkness. The pressure disappeared and I could breathe again. Each breath seemed to pull strangely. The movement feeling off somehow. It took me a while for the rest of my senses to return to me. Pain was the first sensation. Not a blinding pain but a deep persistent ache. Like all my muscles had been overexerted. 

I also realised that I was lying face first on some type of floor. My eyes had been closed, which was where the darkness had come from. I tried to open them as best as I could. They were so heavy. After a few slow blinks I tried to see my surroundings. It wasn’t much brighter with my eyes open. I could see vague outlines of objects. My mind was too fuzzy to distinguish anything. 

With tremendous effort, I tried to push myself up. My arms strained with the effort. The pain bringing tears to my eyes. I needed to move. Adrenaline shot through my veins as panic began to set in. Somehow I managed to drag myself up into a standing position. Grappling onto an object that stood beside me. I couldn’t tell what it was. Nausea rose up as I stood. The world didn’t seem to stay still. It was like being drunk. Everything swayed as I moved. 

A cry fell from my lips as fear started to take over. I had no idea where I was and everything hurt and I was alone. 

“MUM!” I cried, not knowing what else to do.

I stumbled forwards, grabbing onto anything to keep me steady and upright. Trees, I think they were trees. They were rough beneath my fingers. 

“help me please!” I was openly sobbing now.

My foot caught against something on the ground. It sent me sprawling. Somehow my arms stopped myself from falling all the way to the ground. Pain lanced through my muscles causing me to cry out.

“mum… mummy...please” I sobbed.

Heavy thuds then broke through the quiet. My head turned quickly towards the sound. I regretted the movement instantly as it made my nausea worse. The sounds seemed to be getting closer.

“p.please help me” I said, more hopeful this time.

A shadow appeared to step in front of me. If I looked up I knew I would be sick so my eyes were cast to the floor. I felt something touch my shoulder.

“Mahal! Lass are yer okay?”

I responded by promptly throwing up on the floor. It burned my throat causing me to cough violently. My eyes were rolling in my head and I nearly face planted the floor. Something caught me before I could. My body listed to the left before being turned onto my back. I could feel my arm sway below me as I was lifted up. 

Then I knew no more.

* * *

 

_In a land many leagues away, the light of the moon shone down. It lit up a terrain that had known no life for near 1500 years. The earth was bleached white beneath the pale glow. Cracked and dry. Any attempt at growing anything there had failed. The plants would blacken and the roots would shrivel. All who dwelled there knew to avoid it. It was forbidden to enter. Yet the light did not shine upon nothing that night. A single green shoot had unfurled its leaves. Growing out of barren ground. Healthy and green._

* * *

 

Ow

My body hurt so badly. It was like I’d gone 10 rounds with a professional boxer.. I lay where I was with my eyes closed. Kili hadn’t seemed to be this hurt when he had gone through the portal. Yeah, he’d been injured by the warg but at least he could stand up. Beneath me I could feel something soft. Like a blanket. Was I in some kind of bed? Trying to remember anything gave me a slight headache. Vague memories poured in through the fog. I remembered the blinding light but not much after that. It hurt, I knew that much. Whenever I tried to think about what happened in the portal it would slip away like water.

I also vaguely recalled waking up in the dark. Thinking back now I was probably in a forest of some kind. Then someone had found me while I was crying on the ground. Considering I was now on some kind of bed, the person who found me was probably nice. I mean I hope they were. It would be just my luck if I was kidnapped by some serial killer as soon as I landed in Middle Earth. If my thoughts kept going down that road I would probably have a panic attack. Breathing deeply I tried to steady myself. 

I cracked my eyes open. Blinking against the light. The room was blissfully still and no longer swayed like before. It was quite small, with only the bed, a wooden chair and a chest of drawers. My eyes were immediately drawn to a person that was occupying the chair. The hair was a deep ginger and surrounded there head like a lions mane. There beard was braided with small beads. Everything about them screamed Dwarf.

They noticed me looking at them and they hurried to their feet.

“Oh Lass yer awake. How are you feeling?” they said.

I tried to move my body into a sitting position. My eyes squeezed tightly together as a dull pain groaned through my muscles. The person had reached for my shoulder and helped me to sit upright.

“I’m okay, I think. Other than the fact that all my body hurts” I groaned.

A sound echoed through the room as someone knocked on the door. It opened before anyone had the chance to say anything. In walked-what I assumed was-another dwarf. Their hair was a dark brown this time with bits of grey creeping into the sides. Two thick braids hung from their chin, a large bead at the end of both.

“I heard yer talking.” they said “So the lass is awake then?” 

I didn’t know how to respond so I simply nodded. 

“Yes, now close that door will ya. We don’t need anyone else wanderin’ in” said the ginger one.

Other voices emanated from behind the door. The brunette one closed the door though, effectively cutting them off.

“What’s yer name lass?” asked the ginger one.

“Er, Leah. Leah Orrison”

There eyes widened slightly “Oh sorry laddie we thought ye were a lass”

“What? No I am a girl.” then I realised my last name was probably the source of their confusion. “Where I come from you take your dad’s last name. His surname was Orrison so mine is as well”

“That’s all rather strange” said the brunette. 

I guess it would be if it wasn’t commonplace here. “What are your names?” I asked in a quiet voice.

“Oh I’m Vivni” The ginger one pointed to themselves.

“Alldi” said the brunette.

“We found yer in the forest las’ night. We’d heard shouts help and came runnin. Ye we’re swoonin’ like crazy when we found yer. Even threw up on ma boots.” said Alldi.

My cheeks heated up at that. Embarrassed by ruining his shoes. “I’m sorry” I muttered.

“Don’t worry about it, lass” said Vivni “But I do have to ask yer some things”

I nodded at them to continue. “Well for starters we kinda wanna know how old ye are?”

That was a bit odd. Not what I expected them to ask to be honest. “Er I’m 20”

Both of them gasped in shock. Seeming horrified by my answer. “I’ll be 21 in a month” I added, in case that helped. It didn’t.

“Durin’s beard yer a child!” Alldi gasped. “Where’s yer kin lass. We heard yer callin for yer Amad but we didn’t find anyone else.”

Hearing the fact that my Mum wasn’t here made my panic rear its head again. If she wasn’t here then where was she. Middle Earth was huge. What if we had been spat out in completely different places? I could have no chance of ever finding her.

“My mum’s gone missing and I couldn’t find her” I said with a trembling voice.

Vivni reached over and patted my back comfortingly. She made shhhing noises trying to calm me. “It’s okay, lass. Don’t panic”.

Alldi had started mumbling to himself. “Damn Elves can’t even look after their own. It’s a disgrace.”

Elves? What the fuck did that mean?

“What do you mean, Elves?” I asked, uncertain.

“Well it’s pretty obvious yer an elf lass. The pointy ears kinda give it away” said Alldi.

WHAT?

My hands, shakily, reached up to my ears. Where they were one rounded they now came to a delicate point.

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? This can’t be happening.

There was a mirror hanging on the wall in front of me. I needed to see. Damn the pain. Vivni protested as I clambered to my feet. Thankfully, they didn’t try to make me lie back down once I was stood. I managed to stumble up to the mirror, using the edge of the bed as a support. I gasped when I saw my face reflected back at me. It was still my face but the features seemed different. Like someone had put one of those snapchat filters over my face. My eyes were slightly larger, my nose slightly thinner. I even seemed to have a more defined jawline now. 

Getting past the initial shock, I turned my head to the right. Reaching up, I lifted up my hair and tucked it behind the ear. The now very pointed ear.

I’d been turned into an elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that little cliff hanger
> 
> Just to clarify there is timeline differences between when Kili lands and when Leah lands. Kili lands about 5 1/2 months before Leah does. Lets blame the mystical Valar rather than a convenient plot hole, shall we.
> 
> 20 years old is the age of a child in both dwarf terms and elf terms. They currently think that she is a smol baby in need of protecting. Dwarves are very honour bound and very protective of females so the fact that she is now an elf won't stop them from helping her.


	13. From way across the sea

Suddenly being turned into a fairytale creature took some getting used to. Vivni and Alldi, who were definitely dwarves, thankfully chalked my reaction up to stress. They probably didn’t need to know that I was a strange, dimension travelling, human, shapeshifter. I doubt they would have believed me anyway. They would probably think I was some deranged elf child.

Oh yeah. They think I’m a child too. I guess there aren’t many elves running around that are 5 ft 2. Also 20 is a child’s age for both elves and dwarves If I recall correctly. Though a 20 year old elf supposedly looks like they’re about 7 years old. I am definitely not the size or shape of a 7 year old. If I had realised that I was an elf earlier I could have come up with a more realistic age. But alas. Now I’m very likely to be patted on the head and talked to in a slow, happy voice. I don’t know how real kids coped. On the upside though, the dwarves were less likely to be outwardly rude to a child. Even an elf child. I was spared the angry glances of a dwarf-elf rivalry for now.

It turned out that there were more dwarves behind the door. There was a small dwarven community in the little town I had ended up in. The town of Rildolach. I had thought that I would be able to recognise where I was once I’d heard the name. But no. Why couldn’t I have landed in Bree or something? I had to land in the middle of nowhere with no idea of where to go next.

Vivni and Alldi had said that, since they were the ones to find me, they would give me a place to sleep. I had thanked them profusely. As completely lost as I was any act of kindness made me less scared. Vivni and Alldi, it turned out, were a married couple. They were such a cute couple. It was very clear that they were madly in love with one another. I’d started to refer to them as Vivaldi in my head. Vivni was actually a female dwarf, that’s why she had been in the room with me when I awoke. It was more proper apparently.  

They let me rest for a day. Apparently changing species can do a number on your body. Who would have guessed? Vivni helped me to get up when I needed to. She was very strong and held my weight up no problem. A wash basin and some soap had been brought into the room at some point and I could finally get some of the grime off of me. Lying face down in a forest can get you quite dirty apparently. It wasn’t a bath but it was as good as I was going to get. I did have to shoo Vivni away though. They may think I’m a child but I didn’t need help to wash, thank you. 

The soap I was given was an off white colour with pieces of what looked like herbs in it. I daren’t ask what it was made from, though. If I found out it was made from weird animal fats- like soap had been back in my world’s past- then I may have stopped using it. Better to live in ignorance and be clean. I did have soap in my bag but I decided that I should probably save that for later. Also, thankfully, my bag had come with me to Middle Earth. Vivni and Alldi had found it near where they found me.

It didn’t take long for the pain in my body to fade. Elven healing times seemed to be quite a lot shorter than human ones. There were a few advantages to being an elf at least. Speaking of advantages, my body had changed more than I realised. Now that my body was healed I noticed the differences. My sight, for starters, was one of the biggest changes. Everything was so crisp and clear. I swear I could still see details over a mile away. It was trippy. My hearing had improved too. I guess that comes with having bigger ears. The coolest new thing though was my strength. I’d never been very strong before but these new muscles seemed to have some hidden power. I kept accidentally crushing things when I picked them up. Or I’d swing a door open too fast and nearly fall through it. Seeing an elf fall over seemed to amuse the dwarves at least.

I’d been in Middle Earth for about 3 days now. Most of it was spent in the room I woke up in. Now that I was healed though, I wanted to explore outside. A young dwarf named Ravni had agreed to show me around. He was Vivni’s nephew I think. His hair wasn’t as bright orange, it was more of a dark auburn. The start of a beard was just poking through on his chin. If I had to make a guess, I’d say he was about mid teens in human years. In any case he clearly thought that he was the elder of both of us. He may have technically been older than me but comparatively a 20 year old human was mentally older than a 50 year old dwarf. I let him have his fun though.

We left the house I’d been staying in and walked into the street. Most of the buildings seemed to be arranged along this one street. But if I peered between the houses I could see other buildings further behind. Vivaldis’ house was towards the end of the street. The dwarves had taken up the north side of town while humans took up the rest.

Ravni shook me slightly so that I would look at him “You need to make sure ye stick with me alright” his voice betraying that he thought I was a child. “Amad trusts me to look after yer. She’d have my hide if ye got lost”

I shook my head, an amused smile on my face. If I didn’t see the humour in this situation I would probably go crazy. Right now at least it was funny rather than infuriating. “I won’t get lost I promise, I’ll stick to you like glue”

“What’s glue?” Ravni asked, perplexed.

“Something sticky”

“Oh I see” he nodded.

Ravni was actually a pretty good tour guide. He knew something about nearly every building. The people who lived there; when they were built; which family was squabbling with who. It was fun to listen to. He showed me important places as well. Like the different shops and where the best drinking water was. Apparently the well near Old Talbert’s place was awful and that I should only get water from the well nearer to the tavern. These were good things to know.

There was a small forge on the edge of the town. This was where most of the dwarves worked. It was very warm in there. I could see dwarves coming out of it mopping sweat from their brows. I gave them a small smile and a wave when I saw them. Most of them gave me a nod and a grunt in greeting. Next door to it was the blacksmith where the items from the forge were sold. It looked like that was where they added the small details, like leather handles or etchings. I was so fascinated when I watched them working. They were so skilled, their hands working so fast.

Most didn’t pay me much attention but I did get a few amused glances at my open amazement. An older looking dwarf with mostly white hair and olive toned skin laughed heartily at me. He beckoned us over with his hand.

“Do yer like what you see Lass?” he asked.

He was carving runes on to the hilt on a dagger of some kind. “It’s so cool, I wish I could do something like that” I marvelled.

“Cool? I thought it would be warm if anything”

“No, no, sorry it means awesome or amazing” I said with an amused smile.

“She says a lot of things that don’t make much sense, Mani, I wouldn’t put too much thought into it” said Ravni from behind me.

“Gee thanks, Rav” I laughed. He blushed slightly at the nickname.

“Well if ye don’t be too much of a bother ye can sit in the corner an’ watch. If yer like” said Mani.

I agreed readily and hurriedly took a seat. They laughed a little at my eagerness but I just ignored it. Ravni didn’t mind staying either. He got on very well with the other dwarves. They were probably family, now that I thought about it. The dwarves were surprisingly good natured about the barrage of questions I sent them about their craft. How did you cut the leather so well? Did you have to use specific tools to engrave different metals? What does this thing do? Mani was the most patient with me and took the time to fully answer all of my questions.

When I pointed towards something else to ask about, my sleeve hitched up slightly to reveal the bracelet on my wrist. Mani saw it and his eyes narrowed questioningly. He gently grabbed my wrist to look at it. 

“Where d’ya get this from lass?” he asked, his voice strangely even.

I took my wrist out of his hand and covered the bracelet protectively. “My friend gave it to me,” I said, looking down. A sadness creeping into my voice.

“Are ye friends with many dwarves lass?” he asked, there was a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“Just the one. Unless you count you” I smiled, trying to defuse the tension

“So ye didn’t steal it” Mani gave me a pointed look.

My eyes widened with shock “What?! No I wouldn’t steal anything. My friend made it for me!”

I’m not a thief. I guess the presence of dwarven runes was a surprise. Most elves in this world probably don’t have a lot of dwarven jewellery. Even so I didn’t like the insinuation that I would steal it.

“They musta been a very close friend lass” said Mani, a strange look in his eye.

“He was” I looked down at the bracelet and traced the runes there.

* * *

My day ended at the tavern. It was called the Crimson Boar but I have no idea why. Maybe there was a famous boar from around here or something. It was quite large yet still felt cosy. The wooden beams and furniture gave it a very rustic feel. Then again everything here was rustic. We sat in a corner towards the back. It must have been the dwarves designated spot because no one else really sat there. The work day was over so a few other people had joined us. Vivni and Alldi showed up, along with Rav’s mother Braki. She congratulated Ravni for looking after me so well. It made me laugh.

Alldi ordered me some kind of stew and a watered down ale that was designed for children. Secretly I was glad that he hadn’t ordered me a proper ale I probably wouldn’t have been able to drink it. Beer wasn’t really my thing. The watered down one wasn’t too bad though. The stew itself was very hearty, with thick chunks of vegetables and meat. It was delicious. The meat itself was a mystery though. I was sure that it wasn’t beef but couldn’t tell you much more. It was rather gamey.

“Er Ravni. What meat is in here?” I asked him. The dwarf was sitting on my left side.

He scratched his head. “Erm I don’t know actually”

That wasn’t a promising omen. Well, as long as it wasn’t rat or some weird ogre meat I could probably live.

“It’s rabbit lass” said Vivni, saving the day “We can get ye something else if you don’t like it”

“No, no I do,” I said hurriedly “I just wasn’t sure what it was. I’ve never eaten rabbit before I don’t think”

I didn’t want them to have to pay for more. They were already letting me stay with them for free. Who knows how much I was costing them already? This wasn’t the richest town and another mouth to feed probably wasn’t ideal.

“How ‘av yer gone yer whole life without eatin’ rabbit?”

I just shrugged.

“Strange Elves” she muttered under her breath.

A lot of the humans were glancing over at me. I guess that I was the new marvel of the town. Not many elves come by this area evidently and none of them were my height. I could hear them muttering about me. Most people were just politely curious. Having never seen an elf ‘child’ before it was like a novelty. Other people were a bit more rude. They complained, wondering why the dwarves got to ‘keep’ me and not them. Like I was some kind of pet to own. It didn’t endear me towards them.

As we were eating, a very skinny man wandered over to an unoccupied part of the room. Upon inspection, it seemed to be some kind of stage area. The man was wearing a very over the top ensemble. His trousers and sleeves were puffed out to try and make him appear larger. A dark blue sash was tied around his middle in a big bow. He also had a very floppy hat that nearly covered on eye. I got very big “Dandelion from the Witcher” vibes.

“For Mahal’s sake he’s back again” complained Vivni.

“Who is he?” 

Alldi was the one who spoke up “That lass is a pompous arse… sorry for the language.” from the sound I think Vivni kicked him under the table for swearing. “He’s a bard. If that’s what ye can even call him. He only knows three bloody songs. He’s awful, ask anyone else an’ they’ll tell ye the same. The only reason the owners pay for him is because they’ve got no one else”

That gave me an idea. Would the owners be willing to pay for someone else? Maybe I could earn a bit of money to help Vivni and Alldi. It was the least I could do. 

Mr Pompous started singing and I could tell why people didn’t like him. You could tell that he thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Actually, I don’t think they have sliced bread here yet. Nevertheless this guy was very over confident with his mediocre singing ability. There was a staggered applause once he had finished. Most people just continued their conversations. The bard gave a very deep bow before wandering off of the stage.

“Pompous arse” I heard Alldi mutter under his breath.

I asked them if they could point out the owners for me. They gave me a puzzled look but pointed towards the bar. There was a large, bald man behind the bar, he was cleaning a tankard with a rag. His wife was next to him, a buxom and curvy woman with a friendly face. I excused myself from the dwarves for a second and made my way over to them.

My nerves picked up the closer I got to them. I may have been too hasty and now I didn’t exactly know what I should say to them. Hopefully they were nice. The bar came up to just under my chest. The owners saw me and their faces lit up.

“Hiya duck, you must be that little elf the dwarves found” said the woman.

“Er yeah I am” I said, my face heating slightly.

“I hope those dwarves are treating you well, duck,” said the man.

“Yes, yes they’re great” I said.

“My names Samson and this is my beautiful wife Ruby.” He looked towards his wife and she preened at the compliment “We’re the owners of this fine establishment”.

“Is there anything you need, shug?” asked Ruby.

Here we go. How do I word this? I didn’t want to come off as some kind of asshole, demanding they hire me.

“I was wondering about the bard”

Their groans were instant. “He’s all we’ve got unfortunately. Not much in the way of musicians around here” said Samson. His ire was evident in his face.

That was a good sign right? I started fidgeting with my hands. Curling my hair around my fingers. I should probably get this out of the way.

“I came over because I thought I could offer my services instead. I love singing and I think I’m quite decent at it. You don’t have to though It was just a suggestion” I mumbled very quickly.

Their eyebrows raised in surprise. “Are you sure? You’d be singing in front of a lot of people” asked Ruby, her eyes looked hopeful.

“I’ve heard of elves and their singing Ruby they’re supposed to be really good,” said Samson.

Ruby looked deep in thought for a moment. “How about this?” she said “You can sing us something now and we’ll see how you do. I already know you’ll sound better than they other one but I don’t want hire you straight away in case you can’t handle it. Nerves can get the best of us after all”

That was understandable. Yet at the same time I was now very nervous. All songs I’d ever known disappeared out of my head at the same time. I needed something that wasn’t too out there. A song that sort of sounded like it could be from here. One thankfully sprung in my mind quickly.

Ruby led me over to the little stage area where a small stool stood. The dwarves were giving me very concerned looks from the corner. I gave them a smile that would hopefully placate them.

“Right” she shouted so that everyone could hear her “This is… what’s your name duck?”

“Leah”

“This is Leah and she has very kindly asked if she could sing for us. If I hear anything cruel I’ll sling you out by your hair. D’ya hear me?”

My face reddened slightly at her declaration. It was very kind of her though, even if I was a bit embarrassed. There was a grumble of affirmations as the people agreed with Ruby. She gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Go on duck whenever you’re ready”

I was alone on the stage then. All eyes on me. Deep breaths Leah you can do this. I smiled nervously “Hello” I gave a little wave “Erm this song is called Jenny of Oldstones”

_ High in the halls of the kings who are gone _

_ Jenny would dance with her ghosts _

_ The ones she had lost and the ones she had found _

_ And the ones who had loved her the most _

 

_ The ones who'd been gone for so very long _

_ She couldn't remember their names _

_ They spun her around on the damp old stones _

_ Spun away all her sorrow and pain _

 

_ And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

_ Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

 

_ They danced through the day _

_ And into the night through the snow that swept through the hall _

_ From winter to summer then winter again _

_ 'Til the walls did crumble and fall _

 

_ And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

_ Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

_ And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

_ Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave _

 

_ High in the halls of the kings who are gone _

_ Jenny would dance with her ghosts _

_ The ones she had lost and the ones she had found _

_ And the ones _

_ Who had loved her the most _

There was a rapturous applause and cheering when I finished. The loudest coming from my dwarven companions in the corner. They really were starved for entertainment if they were this happy with my little song. I hopped off of the stool and made my way off of the stage. Samson came over with a big grin on his face. 

“The job’s yours for as long as you want it duck”

“Thank you” I smiled.

* * *

I started singing at the tavern every evening. It gave me something to do and I was actually earning money. Winner. Vivni and Alldi refused to accept any of my money though. They told that they didn’t need it and that it was my hard earned money. It didn’t stop me offering though. At one point I had slipped some of my coins into their purse. If they wouldn’t willingly accept it I had to get sneaky.

The people of Rildolach were very happy with my singing. It was something new to break up the monotony. I sang about places and things that none of them had ever heard of. That did mean that I was asked random questions about what I sang. A lot of them I couldn’t even answer. Why does your heartbeat have a song? I don’t know I didn’t write it, Ravni.

I started to spend more time in the blacksmith’s too. There wasn’t much to do in the town so I spent more and more time annoying Mani with my presence. At one point he had asked if I wanted to have a go at cutting some leather to size. I was more than happy to be of use. He taught me how to use the tools before giving me my own piece to practice on. The line I cut was a little bit shaky but it was mostly straight. Mani told me that it was very good for a first attempt. I beamed at that. He told me that it was going to be a scabbard for a short sword and that he’d be happy to let me help more. I was very excited.

Dwarves started pouring into the room from the forge next door. They were very sweaty and a layer of dust coated their skin. It was lunch time. They would come into the blacksmiths back room and eat pastries and sandwiches. The newest creation being scotch eggs. I had taught Vivni how to make them and they were a big hit amongst the dwarves. They seemed to be the next great dwarven delicacy.

They talked about all sorts during those lunch times. Often they would share stories with each other of great battles and famous dwarves. It was fascinating to listen to. I had the urge to tell a story too. There were a few stories about dwarves from my world. They would probably enjoy them. I was waiting for the right moment to tell it, not wanting to be considered rude. The opportunity arose thanks to Mani.

“Have ye got any stories lass?”

“Yes” I said too eagerly “It’s a myth from where I come from”

“Where’s that again lass?” said someone in the crowd.

“Er very far away” I thought for a minute “Across the sea.”

“Blimey, ye are far from home”

“Okay so this is a myth from norse mythology. So in the past before humans were created there existed Gods and giants that could wield great magic. One of the gods was called Thor, the god of thunder. He had a wife called Sif. One day Sif woke up and all of her hair was gone. It had been cut in the night.” 

The dwarves gasped when I mentioned her hair. I paused for a moment before carrying on. “Thor knew exactly who had done it. The trickster god Loki. For whenever anything went wrong it was surely him that caused it. So Thor raced down to Loki and demanded he return her hair. If he didn’t then Thor promised to break every bone in his body. Loki then quickly came up with an idea. 

Dwarves he said. The mighty dwarves could make anything. They would surely make her some hair. So Loki flew to the dwarven homeland in search of some master blacksmiths. Once there he realised that he could get things crafted for the other Gods as well. That way he would be in there good graces.

He found a group of dwarves who completed his request and forged lovely golden hair for the Lady Sif. However they also forged two other great wonders to give to the gods. Loki then realised that he could cause a bit of mischief. So he goes over to a different pair of dwarves. These were called Brokk and Sindri. He taunted them and told them that they could never create a marvel as good as the other dwarves did. Loki even bet his own head against them. Brokk and Sindri knew they were the better smiths and accepted the deal.

Now Loki had to find a way to stop them from creating better items. Or he’d lose his head. So he made his way over to the dwarves forge. Sindri told his brother that he needed to work the bellows. He couldn’t stop or the work wouldn’t come out right. Loki heard this and came up with a plan. He transformed into a large fly. When Brokk was working the bellows Loki flew up to him and bit him on the arm. Brokk was in pain but he never stopped moving. So the first piece was forged to perfection.

For the next one Loki decides to bite him on the neck. However Brokk manages to continue working the bellows and the next piece was perfect too. For the final one Loki bit Brokk on the eyelid. It caused blood to go in his eyes and he had to stop pumping to wipe away the blood. When the last piece was finished, Sindri saw that the handle was now too short. 

The dwarves had to present their gifts to the gods and the gods would decide who won. The first group of dwarves presented Sif with her new hair. They also gave the god Odin the deadliest of all spears, Gungnir. The god Frey was given a great ship that could be folded into the palm of your hand, that one I can’t remember the name of.

Anyway, then it was Brokk and Sindri’s turn. They showed Odin a golden ring that would duplicate itself every 9 days. So they would have infinite gold. To Frey they gave a large living boar. It could light up any dark and ran faster than any horse.

Finally they presented Thor with the world’s strongest hammer. Mjolnir. Even with it’s short handle Thor loved it. The gods then decided that Brokk and Sindri had won. So they went to Loki to claim his head. However, as he was the God of mischief he weaseled his way out of it. He told them that he offered his head but not his neck so the dwarves couldn’t cut it off. The dwarves were angry and they sewed Loki’s mouth closed so that he couldn’t cause anymore mischief… The end”

“That’s one crackin’ story Lass” said Mani, giving me a hearty pat on the back.

“I still woulda cut his head off” I heard one of the other dwarves say.

I’m sure they would.

* * *

__

_ The ground was cold beneath me and I shivered against it _

_ “ADA!” I screamed. I was alone, so alone. I needed Ada to find me. _

_ It wasn’t Ada that found me though. The monster had found me again. It had found me once but I had managed to crawl away. But now I could crawl no more. _

_ A deep red stain bloomed out from a wound in my stomach. The monster had hurt me before. My body was going cold as the blood left me. _

_ “Found you” The monster laughed. All teeth and claws and snarls.  _

_ It was going to hurt me again. I curled up as tightly as I could. Too scared to do anything else. _

_ I could see the glee in its eyes as it made to lunge. _

_ It didn’t make it though. A large blade had burst out of the monsters chest from behind. Black blood dripping from the wound. The blade was removed and the monster was pushed away to the side. In its place was Ada. His silver armour was speckled with blood and his pale blonde hair floated in the breeze over his pointed ears.   _

_ Ada had found me. _

_ I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. Only a gurgling noise left my lips. _

_ Ada dropped to his knees next to me. He bundled up my body and brought it close to his chest. _

_ “Ada’s here Liriel. Stay with Ada” _

I woke up with a start. Clutching at my blanket, willing my heart rate to slow. That was new. My nightmare had never taken a turn like this before. My family was always dead in that nightmare. The fact that my dad was alive in this one really threw me off kilter. Not only was he alive, he was an elf. Why was I having dreams of my dad being an elf? Was it just a delayed reaction to me turning into an elf or was it something else? Nothing made sense anymore. 

To make matters worse her dream dad had called her Liriel not Leah. Liriel was definitely a more Elven name. It also felt strangely right. When I heard the name my brain had reacted to it with increased familiarity. Liriel felt as much my name as Leah did. I put my face in my hands and sighed deeply. Tears of frustration were building in my eyes. This whole situation was mental.

I’d been here for over 3 weeks now. The longer I stayed the more antsy I felt. I needed to move, to do something. My mum was out there somewhere, alone. And who knows when the quest would start? I needed to find Kili as well. I couldn’t do that from a town in the middle of nowhere.

I let myself cry for a bit. It was needed to be honest. After a good cry I felt a little bit better. Not by much though. My mood was very visible on my face as I left the house that day. Mani made a comment about it when I went to sit down next to him. I told that I was just having trouble sleeping. He didn’t try to pry further which I was appreciative of. The leather scabbard he’d let me work on was nearly finished.

Mani was helping me to carve runes into the surface when there was a commotion at the door. A few people got up and ran out the front. Curious, I put the tools in my hand down. I craned my neck to try and see what was happening. One of the dwarves moved slightly out of the way and I could see someone new. It was another dwarf, only I’d never seen this person before. They weren’t from this neighbourhood at least. They had dark brown hair with two braids down the side of their face. Their beard was short which was rather odd because he definitely wasn’t a young dwarf. The greying hair at the sides of his head said as much. Dwarves were very particular about cutting hair, it was probably to symbolise something bad. 

Everyone seemed to speak up at once and it was hard to pick up what the new person was saying. It was sometimes difficult to pinpoint sounds with my new hearing. I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet.

“Who is that?” I asked Mani, who had stayed next to me.

“No one ye need to concern yerself with Lass” he said dismissively.

It was obvious he didn’t want me to talk to the new person. Maybe they weren’t a fan of elves. I kept looking at them though. They were something new, something interesting. At one point our eyes met as he caught me looking at him. I could feel my cheeks warming a little at being caught. But I was polite though. I gave him a little wave as I greeting. His eyebrows drew together, perplexed. He didn’t return the wave either, simply started talking to the dwarf next to him. Bit rude.

I tried to listen to what they were saying, if I concentrated I might be able to.

“Who is she?” the stranger asked.

Oh damn he’s talking about me.

“She’s an elf that a couple a dwarves found in the forest a few weeks ago.”

“An elf?” he asked, confused. 

He looked back towards me quickly and I averted my gaze. Hopefully he didn’t see me staring again.

“Aye, and a bairn at that. Vivni tells me she’s only 20”

“Mahal, where’s her kin?” said the stranger.

“She says her Amad’s gone missing and that she got lost or somethin’ like tha’”

“Right” said the stranger, he had a strange tone to his voice. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. 

He disappeared not long after that and everyone went about their day. There was an excited buzz in the air now though. Mani and I finished the scabbard after that. I was very proud of it. Obviously it was a bit sloppier than the proper ones but this one I had helped to make. Mani told me he was proud too. A smile stretched across my face and I surprised him with a hug. He returned it in kindness and then told me to run along.

As the time came for me to sing my melancholy had returned. I was still so lost and even though there were good people helping me, I still felt very alone. Alone in a world that I didn’t understand. I’d never gone so long without seeing my mum. It was breaking my heart not being able to see her. Not knowing if she was alright.

When I got to the tavern I knew for a fact that I was only gonna sing sad songs that night. If I’m sad I might as well make everyone else sad too. I arrived at the bar and said hi to Samson. He always offered me a free drink before I sang and I happily took it. I gave a quick scan of the room to gauge my audience. In the corner where my dwarf companions normally sat was only the newcomer. Vivni and Alldi told me they’d be busy tonight so I wasn’t expecting people to show up.

The newcomer saw me looking at him and I quickly turned away. Scanning the rest of the room. Eyes came to a stop in the opposite corner of the room. My heart rate picked up and I could feel a swell of panic rise up. I gulped down a big sip of drink to try and distract me.

 They were back. Some creepy men that had been in the tavern before. I remembered seeing them a few days ago. They were lecherous and I could feel their eyes on me. I heard all sorts of comments from them that made me want to be sick. When I told Ruby about them she told me that they were just men being men and not to bother with them. Not exactly helpful. Also why is men saying gross things about women ‘just men being men’. It made me so angry.

There were three of them. One was very large and had long greasy hair that stuck to his forehead. Another was like a twig and had was completely bald. The last one was near enough a duplicate to the second though I don’t think they were related. I think there was about 10 teeth between all of them.

Trying to push them out of my mind, I put the drink down and made my way over to the small stage. I could feel eyes on me and I tried not to focus on the ones from the table in the corner.

_ I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me _

_ This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy _

_ I need somebody to heal _

_ Somebody to know _

_ Somebody to have _

_ Somebody to hold _

_ It's easy to say _

_ But it's never the same _

_ I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain _

 

_ Now the day bleeds _

_ Into nightfall _

_ And you're not here _

_ To get me through it all _

_ I let my guard down _

_ And then you pulled the rug _

_ I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved _

When I finished I could tell I’d made the mood somber. I didn’t care too much about it though. Too busy wallowing in my own mood. I hopped down from the stage and made my way back over to the bar. Samson had a bowl of stew ready for me like he did every night. It was part of the routine. He gave me a drink, I sang some songs and then he gave me a free meal. It was a good routine. I was just about to turn around and head towards a table when I caught some snippets of a conversation.

“How much do you think she’s worth?” 

“I dunno, I reckon an elf kid would be worth a pretty penny”

“She’s gotta be worth at least 1000 gold on the black market”

The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I felt sick. Were they planning to kidnap me? I needed to escape. Go somewhere that they wouldn’t find me. But what if they followed me? What if they found out where I was staying? I didn’t know what these people were capable of. I didn’t want to walk out of here alone and the people I trusted the most around here were dwarves. Unfortunately the only dwarf present was the new stranger.

With no other option I steeled myself and made my way over to his table in the corner of the room. The creepy guys eyed me as I went past and I tried to give them a wide berth. Mr. Stranger raised his eyebrows at me as I approached him. I sat down a few seats away from him. My hands were fidgeting with the leather cuff on my wrist. What do I even say to him? Hey sorry Mr stranger sir could you walk me home please. Oh god I don’t know what to do. My soup was starting to get cold and I realised that I should eat something. It gave me a chance to think as well. I could feel my hands shaking slightly as I held the spoon.

“You sang well tonight,” said the stranger.

His speech was so unexpected that I nearly spat out my soup. Some dribbled down my chin and I wiped it up quickly with my hands.

“Th.Thank you” I stuttered.

“It’s not very often you find an elven child amongst dwarves” he said, taking a sip from his tankard and looking at me expectantly.

“Yeah I guess” I said non-committedly. The fact that everyone thought I was a child was starting to wear on me.

“You look familiar and I can’t figure out why”

My eyebrows drew together in confusion. That was weird. I definitely hadn’t seen this guy before. I also hadn’t been out of this village so I don’t know how he’d seen me before.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before” I said “My names Leah”

“Leah?”

I nodded, taking another spoonful of my soup. He seemed deep in thought but then shook his head.

“My name is Thorin it’s nice to meet you Leah”

I spat out my soup again. “Thorin Oakenshield!” 

“Keep your voice down” he said looking around quickly “How do you know of me?”

“Your Kili’s Uncle! Is he okay? Did he make it home? He left so suddenly I didn’t know if he was hurt. Oh my god I think I’m hyperventilating”

I felt his hand grab my shoulder and shake me slightly “Calm down, calm down.” I tried to get my breathing to normal  “Do you mean to tell me that you’re the same Leah from that other world Kili talks about?”

“Yes!”

So Kili had made it home, that was such a relief. I could see the cogs working behind his eyes. “But you’re an elf, Kili showed me paintings and you were definitely not an elf”

“I woke up like this” I tried to explain “Back in my world I was an adult human and then I arrive here and I’m an elf. Everyone thinks I’m a child because I’m short and because I told them I was 20. I’m pretty much an adult in human years.” I could tell I was rambling but I needed to get it off of my chest.

Thorin still seemed confused. “How are you even here? Kili made it sound like it was only him that could travel between our worlds”

“I thought that too until it snatched my mum up. I wasn’t too far behind and then I ended up here” I motioned to my surroundings “I have no idea where my mum ended up, I wonder if she’s an elf too.” I mused, hand following the point of my ear.

Thorin gave me a sympathetic look. “It must have been hard, losing your mother and being turned into an  _ Elf”  _ you could hear the clear disgust in his words. Subtle dude.

I realised then that Thorin was my ticket out of here. If he took me with him I’d be able to see Kili again. The thought gave me butterflies.

“You have to take me with you...please”

His eyebrows raised in surprise “Where I’m going is not safe I can’t bring you with me”

My stomach dropped at his words. I was starting to get frantic. “Please! I can’t stay here. It’s not safe here either. I just overheard a group of men that are planning to sell me on the black market. Sell me! That’s the reason I came over here in the first place I was going to ask you to walk me home because I’m terrified of them”

I was heavy breathing when I stopped speaking. I needed to slow down or my panic would get worse. But I needed Thorin to take me with him.

“What?! Are you serious?” I nodded “Which men?”

I looked over my shoulder at the men in the corner. Their eyes were already watching us like hawks. Nausea rose up with my panic. I quickly looked back to Thorin.

“Those ones” I pointed.

He looked over at the men with a terrifying scowl. They buckled under his glare and looked away. I felt a pressure in my chest ease as they did. Turning back, I looked to Thorin. He was in deep thought. My breath was held while I waited for his reply.

“Mahal, Mi targê. Kili would kill me if I let anything happen to you” he exclaimed “Fine, yes you can come with me until we reach somewhere safer. Perhaps we can find someone who could help”

“Maybe Gandalf can help me” I added

His eyes widened in shock “How did you…” He shook his head “Nevermind”.

“You will meet me here at sunrise tomorrow”

“Yes, yes, thank you so much” I wanted to hug him so badly but I restrained myself.

* * *

 

Thorin walked me back to Vivaldi’s house. He was very vigilant and ensured that no one was following us. Vivni opened the door to us and gave a very startled noise when she saw who accompanied me. They then basically sent me to bed while Thorin had a talk with them. From what I could hear he was telling them that I would now accompany him. Vivni and Alldi were very confused as to what King Thorin wanted with me. Thorin didn’t give very much away though and told them that he was trying to help me. Vivni and Alldi came up to me, once Thorin was gone, and they both gave me hugs. They were sad to see me go. That must have been a strange feeling for them, being sad for an elf. I was sad to leave them too. They’d done so much for me, I couldn’t thank them enough. 

I didn’t get much sleep that night. My mind was too excited. Finally, I was doing something productive. I could be seeing Kili soon. The thought put a smile on my face. When I woke up the sun wasn’t even up. But I needed to pack and make sure that I had everything. It didn’t take long though. I only had one bag after all. After I’d finished packing I started pacing the small room. I was too full of nervous energy to keep still. A quick look out of my window and I could see that the forge was already lit. Someone was up early. Maybe it was Mani. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to him.

The sun was beginning to crest above the hills and I realised that I didn’t have much time. It would have to be a quick visit. I put my coat on and slung the bag onto my shoulders. Kili’s dagger was lying on the table next to my bed. I had debated where to put it. Back in my bag or on my person. Well if I’m going to be travelling in the wild with Thorin it was probably best to have it to hand. I hid the dagger in one of the big pockets on my right trouser leg. Thankfully it didn’t press in too much and it was mostly concealed. Carrying a weapon gave me a weird thrill.

After I was done I made my way outside. No one was one the street yet, early as it was. The birds were chirping and the air was cool. It was a nice day. The forge wasn’t too much further, it wouldn’t take me long to get there.

I felt my ears twitch suddenly at an odd sound. It was coming from behind me. I didn’t even get the chance to turn around before a filthy hand covered my mouth and I was dragged backwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will she get out of this one?  
> Also I'm so glad I've made it to Thorin now. Love that guy.
> 
> Jenny of Oldstones- Florence Welch  
> Someone you loved- Lewis Capaldi  
> Mi targê- By my beard


	14. Are you strong enough to stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning- Nothing happens but the attackers joke about wanting to 'bed' an elf.

I fought back against the arms dragging me backwards. One hand was still firmly pressed against my mouth. The rough, calloused skin of his palm scraped across my skin. A cloying scent nearly made me gag. Another arm had been wrapped around my middle so that i was crushed to the person’s chest. My bag was still on my back though, so the arm couldn’t completely enclose around me. I could tell that, whoever my attacker was, was huge. They were yanking me backwards with such force that my feet left the ground.

I tried to scream behind the hand but the sound was muffled. Help me. Anyone. Please! Panic was shooting through me like electricity. I’d forgotten what I was supposed to do. Kili had taught me how to get out of holds but I couldn’t remember how. Still my body rebelled against the hold with everything I could muster. I kicked out my legs trying to make any form of contact. My elbows were doing the same. For a second the attacker slowed as my attempts at escape seemed to be working. My heels scraped down a shin bone and my elbow made contact with a shoulder.

His hand left my face, briefly, as he tried to readjust his hold on me. I saw my chance and bit down on the fleshy part of his hand; between the thumb and forefinger. My bite didn’t hold back and I pierced the skin. The man dropped me with a pained cry. I crumpled slightly as I hit the floor. My ankles twisting painfully underneath me. But I needed to get up. I needed to move. The bag fell off my shoulders as I tried to scramble away.

Three feet was all I managed before a fist flashed out and collided with my cheek. The blow was so hard I was knocked off of my feet. Blood filled my mouth as my teeth had bitten down onto my tongue. The world swayed in my vision. I tried to get my arms underneath to push myself up. 

“HELP!” I screamed, needing to be heard.

My body was slammed back to the ground with incredible force. A booted foot had stamped down on the middle of my back. It ripped the air out of my lungs with a pained gasp.  

“You’ll pay for that you stupid Bitch” 

Next thing I knew I was hauled upwards once more. Only this time their grip was tighter. It was difficult to breathe. I still cried out underneath his hand though they had now started to turn into sobs. I was dragged out of town and towards the outskirts of a forest. How had no one seen me? I know it was early but surely someone was there. 

The ‘someone’ turned out to be the other two men from last night. The thin bald ones. Which meant that the one carrying me was the huge greasy haired man. Their grins were triumphant and disgusting when they saw me struggling.

Without warning I was dumped onto the ground. My legs collapsed underneath me and I landed in a heap. The right leg had landed on something and bruised, painfully. It wasn’t a rock though. That’s when I remembered the dagger. I’d put into one of my pockets and it was now digging painfully into my leg. If I could get to it I might be able to use it. Stab one of them in the leg and run for it.

Before I could reach for it a hand grabbed my hair, right by the roots and yanked. The sting brought tears to my eyes. My hands stretched up to the one grabbing me. Trying to remove it and lessen the pain.

“Good morning princess” It was one of the bald ones who had grabbed me.

His nose was broken in two places and his face was pockmarked with scars. The smile he gave me was vicious and showed off his teeth. What little teeth he did have.

“LET GO OF ME!” 

I swung at my attackers face. The blow didn’t quite connect as he was too far away. It just caught his chin. His grip lessened in my hair as he stumbled backwards. My head jerked in the opposite direction of his hand as I tried to get away. Another pair of hands was already there though. They grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back. My muscles screamed as they were pulled in the wrong way. I dug my nails into the arms holding me but they didn’t let go. 

The one I punched had recovered quickly. I could hear the other two laughing at my attempt to escape. A bruise had already started to form on his chin and his lip had burst. My punch had more power than I thought it did. He brought his hand up to his face and swiped away a drop of blood. Assessing the liquid on his finger, his expression turned feral.

“Well aren’t you a fiery one” His own eyes were fire as he approached me once more.

One hand wrapped around my throat, not quite crushing. I could still breath but his thumb squeezed against my pulse point as a warning. Stumbling backwards, I tried to get away from his hand but the person behind me held fast. A blade that I hadn’t noticed before was suddenly by my face. The moment I saw it I stopped struggling and froze. A cry came unbidden as I felt the metal brush against my cheek.

“Not so fiery now” he said in an almost whisper.

His eyes brimmed with humour at my fear. I felt the tip of the dagger drag across the edge of my jaw. Not deep enough to cut but enough to threaten. My lips trembled as I tried not to cry in front of them. The man had bent forwards so that he face was close to mine. His putrid breath ghosted over my face. The blade made its way across by jaw and down the side of my neck. He stopped at the hollow of my throat. The cold metal burned against my skin.

“You, little princess, are going to make us a lot of money. Who knows how much someone would pay for you?” his hand squeezed slightly as he spoke.

“I don’t know about you but I know plenty of men who’d pay a pretty penny to bed an elf” The other bald one mocked from the side.

No. No no NO. This wasn’t happening.

“I’ve often dreamt of it” the blade against my neck trailed further down. To the front of my shirt.

NO! With a terrified yet angry growl I bucked against the hold. The new surge of panic burned through my body. Every nerve ending was on fire. A tingling sensation shot through my hands. It was like they were vibrating; a strange energy that was only centred on my hands. The grip on my arms disappeared with an agonised cry. It caused my other attacker to back away in surprise. His hand falling away from my neck.

I didn’t wait. My hands shot towards my right trouser leg. The handle of the blade grazed against my palm and I yanked it out. The leather sheath fell to the ground. Without hesitation, I grabbed it with both hands and charged forwards. The man only had chance to widen his eyes before the blade plunged into his stomach.

The force with which I launched myself at him was enough to send us both sprawling. He crashed to the ground with me on top of him, still holding the dagger. Blood was gushing from the wound. It was on my hands and my clothes. A gurgling sound emitted from his throat as he tried to cough. Only for a stream of blood to come up instead. For a second I was frozen, mortified. I was watching a man die. 

A roar to my left alerted me to the other men. The other bald one had backed away with a horrified look in his eye. The large one had drawn a sword and was levelling it at me. There was something wrong with his arms though and he struggled to hold it up. With a shock I realised that there were now two hand prints burned into his skin. Was that where I was grabbing him?

Before I could react in anyway another sword appeared. Coming out of the man’s stomach. He looked down at the blade in shock. His own sword clattering to the floor before he himself fell forwards. Behind him stood Thorin Oakenshield. A look of pure rage in his eyes. He removed the sword from the man’s back hastily. He swung it around with defined skills and swiftly dispatched of the other man. A wave of relief crashed over me and I nearly cried.

I was still on top of the other man when he hurried over to me. The man below me was still alive, barely. I stumbled off of him as soon as I realised that I was still hovering over him. 

“You can look away,” Thorin said, as he reached for the dagger still buried in the man’s abdomen.

I scrunched my eyes tightly, not wanting to see anything else. The zing of a blade sounded in the air, followed by a wet gurgling noise. Nausea rose up in me. This was too much for me to handle. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and I jerked away from the touch. Opening my eyes, quickly, I realised that it was only Thorin.

“We need to run, there could be more” he implored, his voice was soft as he spoke to me “Do you understand?”

I nodded, not quite trusting my voice. Then we fled. Into the forest, leaving the dead men behind us. Thorin set the pace, dragging me along behind him by my wrist. He’d found my bag, I realised. It was bouncing off his back while we ran. Seeing it made me feel better. We ran for quite a while before Thorin decided it was okay to stop. My breathing was slightly heavy but nowhere near as heavy as it would have been when I was still human. Being an elf is good for something at least.

“I think the coast is clear” said Thorin, looking around him.

He didn’t let go of me though. Next thing I knew he was leading me towards a small river. Pointing towards a flat patch of stone on the river back Thorin politely but firmly told me to sit. I followed the command without hesitation. Falling to the ground and crossing my legs underneath me. Now that we’d stopped running my body was beginning to relax. The thundering in my ears lessened as my heart started to return to normal. Each deep breath making me feel more grounded.

Thorn knelt down in front of me. He swung my bag off of his back as well as his own. Opening his bag, he rifled through its contents. What looked to me like some kind of rag was pulled out of it. 

“Give me your hands”

I lifted them up towards him. Blood still clung to them. The realisation made my stomach turn. Thorin reached forwards and grabbed one of my hands. His other hand dipped the cloth into the river. Once it was wet, he started to clean the blood off of my hands. The rag was soft against my skin. My eyes never left my hands as Thorin worked.

“I killed someone” I said, barely a whisper.

“No” he said, dipping the rag back into the river. It produced a brown cloud in the water. “I did. Their deaths are on my conscience not yours”

I guess he was right. That didn’t change the fact that I’d just stabbed someone though. That deed was on my conscience.

“You should never feel guilty about defending yourself. You did what you had to, to get out of a bad situation” he was nearly finished now, wiping up the last remnants.

“There that’s better” said Thorin.

I looked down at my hands. Turning them over to see all of them. They were clean, all traces of blood was gone. A watery smile came to my face. I launched myself at Thorin. Wrapping my arms around him tightly. 

“Thank you,” I said with a sob.

Thorin only hesitated for a second before his own arms wrapped around me. He let me cry into his shoulder while he patted my back.

“It’s okay,”

I calmed down after a while and the sobs subsidded. My arms loosened their hold on Thorin and I sat back. An apologetic look in my eye. Thorin only looked slightly uncomfortable by my sudden hug.

“Tell me what happened” he said once I was sat back down.

I looked down at my hands as I spoke “I wanted to say goodbye to Mani. The sun was nearly up so I was going to go see him and then meet you straight after. But then one of them grabbed me and dragged me away. I nearly managed to get away by biting him but he hit me and I fell down”

Thorin reached a hand towards my face. It ghosted over the place the man had hit me. 

“Is this where he struck you?” He growled.

I nodded. He made an angry noise at the back of his throat. 

“I might have something that will help it heal.” he said “Carry on. What happened next?”

“He dragged me to the forest where the other two were. I punched one of them but then he pulled a knife” my heart beat increased at the memory “Then they, they joked about wanting to b.bed an elf and I panicked. Somehow the guy dropped me and I picked up the knife and I…” I trailed off not wanting to say the rest.

“Ozodl ezun muzm! Abrâfu shaikmashâz!” A string of angry khuzdul fell from Thorin’s lips.

He was the angriest I’d ever seen him. His teeth clenched and a muscle in his jaw ticked. After seeing my widened eyes he tried to calm himself. A few deep breaths through his nose and his face returned to his usual stoic expression.

“You’re safe now, that’s what matters.” He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sighed heavily.

“Now that, that is out of the way I have something for you.” he said, reaching behind him.

My eyebrows rose as Thorin turned back around. In his hands was a short sword encased in a leather sheath. The same leather scabbard that I had helped to create.

“A sword?” I asked, astonished.

“Courtesy of your friend Mani”

Mani made this for me? I felt joyful tears prick at the corners of my eyes. A smile stretched across my face as I reached for the object. The hilt was smooth yet still grippy. Several runes were etched deep into the metal. A geometric pattern was carved into the pommel and the cross-guards.

“You know, this is probably the first time a dwarf has ever forged something for an elf of their own volition. You should consider yourself lucky” He said with a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

My cheeks heated slightly and I let out a small chuckle at his words. I was finally feeling calm. The panic and fear ebbed away the longer I was away from it. Bringing my hands up I buried my face into them. A deep sigh leaving my body. This situation could only happen to me. Why couldn’t my time in Middle Earth ever be simple? And I just knew that this wasn’t the end of it. If I was going on the quest then I was going to face countless more dangers. That’s if Thorin let me on the quest. As of right now I think he’s dead set on leaving me in the shire when they head off.

The sleeves of my coat slipped down my arms as I held them up. I heard Thorin’s sudden intake of breath. What? What is it? I dropped my hands, alarmed. Then I saw that his gaze was on the leather bracelet. It must have loosened during the fight and slid up my arm. I quickly readjusted it so it sat right.

“Did Kili make you this?” He said with wonder. 

“Yeah”

He turned my wrist around so that he could read the runes there. His eyes widened when he saw them.

“Did he tell you what these say?” he pointed to the runes.

“He told me it said ‘penis’ actually”

Thorin was taken by such surprise that a booming laugh fell from him. His amused expression made me giggle as well. At the sheer silliness of it. It felt good to laugh.

“I’m sure he did,” he said, a smile still on his face “I’ll leave it to him to tell you what it really says”

I knew it didn’t really say penis. 

* * *

Seeing as there was a perfectly good river next to me, I decided that I needed to wash. I needed to wash away where their filthy hands had grabbed me. Thorin acquiesced to my request and told me that he would stand guard through the trees. He left me my bag so that I use my toiletries. I rummaged through it to find the things I needed. My towel was towards the top so I took that out first. Placing it on a rock for safe keeping. Next I drew out a new shirt. The one I had on was covered in blood. My waterproof coat would probably clean up fine but this shirt was definitely ruined.

Annoyingly, my toiletries bag was right at the bottom.  With an annoyed grunt I pulled it out of the back and placed it on the rock. Now the real question is, do I just dive straight into the river or just use a cloth to wash my body? There were pros and cons to both. However after feeling my hair and the skin beneath my shirt I knew I had to get in. I had to wash all of it off. That did mean that I had to strip in the middle of a forest, though. Resigned to my decision I began peeling off my layers.

I kept my underwear on. Nothing would get me to actually be naked in a forest. I needed some coverage. My toes touched the edge of the water, gauging the temperature. Oh it’s freezing. That’s nice. I was already part way in now, I might as well get it over with. Mustering the courage, I waded further in. The riverbed steeped suddenly causing me to plunge in. It was so cold! A startled squeak escaped me.

“What was that?!” came a concerned voice from behind me.

“It’s cold”

“Mahal have mercy” he sighed “Unless you are actually in danger I suggest you keep your screams to yourself. Lest we both have an encounter we’d rather avoid”

“...Fair enough” I said, embarrassed. That was a good point. I didn’t need a heroic dwarf charging in while I’m half naked.

I quickly went to work scrubbing my body. A brown cloud of blood and grime floated away from me and down the river. The chill of the water was making me feel a lot cleaner. It took away the memory of their warm, clammy hands. I used the shampoo bar to wash my hair as well as the rest of my body. The smell of citrus was heavenly. I nearly dropped the damn thing twice though. Trying to slip free from my hand and into the river. I managed to catch it both times, saving it from the watery depths. 

I rinsed off the front of my coat and my trousers in the river. Thankfully the blood washed off them easily. The shirt, however, was a goner. I’d sooner burn it than put it back on. Towelling myself dry, I quickly redressed myself. A fresh pair of trousers-as the other ones needed to dry-and Kili’s shirt. It brought me comfort knowing it was his. I then brushed through my wet hair. Being careful of the area that had been yanked. Then I put my hair into two braids so that it was out of my face while it dried.

All my wet clothes were wrapped in the towel before I put them back in my bag. It was a shame I didn’t have a plastic bag or something to put them in. Hopefully the wet clothes wouldn’t touch the dry ones. When I was finally finished I felt more human again. Well more elf again, I guess. I made my way towards Thorin and thanked him for waiting for me. He raised an eyebrow when he saw me.

“That’s not your tunic is it?”

My cheeks heated and I looked away “Erm no. It’s Kili’s”

“I see” was all he said.

* * *

Thorin produced some kind of poultice from his pack. It was an odd texture and it smelled of what I can only describe as ‘green’. He spread a small amount onto my face. I hissed when he touched it as It was still rather sore. We started walking after that, needing to pick up some ground after staying in one spot too long. There was a deadline Thorin needed to keep after all. Thorin seemed fine with silence as we walked. I was fine with it at first but after a while I felt the sudden need to fill it. It was a habit of mine. I couldn’t go silent for too long or I’d start overthinking. 

Starting a conversation with Thorin wasn’t easy. He mostly gave one word answers to the questions I asked him. I managed to get him to speak up though once I brought up the topic of Kili. About how he arrived back here. Thorin told me how he’d been when he came back. I was shocked to hear how broken up he was about leaving me. I mean I was equally broken up about him leaving but I didn’t know that the pain was mutual. What was even more shocking was the fact that this was six months ago! Kili had been here for six months and I've only been here for three weeks. The timelines were off then. I wonder how long my mum has been here. Alone. I shook my head and tried not to think about it.

After near enough a whole day of walking Thorin finally decided on a place to stay the night. It was mostly flat and partially covered by an overhang of rock. At least we’d be covered if it rained. I may have slept outside before but I usually had a tent to cover me. This would take some getting used to. 

Once Thorin had set up a fire we both sat in front of it and ate our meal. It consisted of a crusty bread roll and-surprisingly- a scotch egg. I giggled when I saw them, he must have been given them by one of the other dwarves. He held one in his hand and gave it a considering gaze.

“Kili has told me about these. I was quite surprised when I was offered some before we left” he said.

“Do you like it?” I asked once he’d taken a bite.

He nodded appreciatively. “Its sausage, bread and egg what’s not to like”

A feeling of pride warmed my chest. The Thorin Oakenshield liked something I’d made. Well I hadn’t personally made these ones but you know what I mean. Also, that fact that another one of my favourite characters was in front of me hadn’t escaped my mind either. It was Thorin fucking Oakenshield, King under the mountain descendent of Durin. It was wild. 

After we finished our food Thorin told me to turn in for the night. He wasn’t going to sleep any time soon though. It seemed that he was going to keep watch for a while. I waited until Thorin’s back was turned before I undid my braids. The hair unfurled easily. Normally when I undid my hair from braids they were nicely curled. This time, my hair fell out of my braid looking like I’d freshly straightened it. I guess that means goodbye to ever having curls again. Thorin was a little confused by my sleeping bag. Especially when I pulled the drawstring so that only my face was showing.

“You look ridiculous” he mused.

Rude. Then again, I did look like some weird caterpillar creature. The fact that I had to sort of wriggle to get into a sleeping position didn’t help either.

Exhaustion overcame me pretty quickly and I fell into a fitful sleep. My dreams weren’t fun, as one would expect after nearly being kidnapped. One dream would just carry on into the next. In some I feel myself being dragged away and unable to stop it. Or there was blood staining my hands that never seemed to wash away  The worst one was where Thorin never showed up and they dragged me away to who knows where. Each time I woke with a start, only to fall back asleep a second later. It meant that I wasn’t the happiest person when I finally woke up.

The fire was reduced to a simmering ash. Thorin kicked dirt over it and effectively smothered the flames. A light drizzle had started to fall once we started walking again. I was very grateful that my coat had a hood. The rain subsided somewhere around midday. I decided to tell Thorin about my world to pass the time. He was very intrigued about the differences between our two worlds. Every now and then he would laugh when I told him a fact. Apparently Kili gave wildly inaccurate accounts of things from my world. You couldn’t really blame him though, he was only there a few months. 

“There is something that I need to ask you” said Thorin, his voice now serious.

“What’s that?”

Thorin stopped walking momentarily. Scanning the horizons before finally looking back towards me.

“When Kili came home he described many things about you’re world that I struggled to believe. The main one I struggled with was the knowledge of this world being present in yours”

How much had Kili told him? Did he know about his potential death?

“Yeah, your world’s history is written as a story in mine. No one ever thought they were real” I said.

“The way Kili explained it, it’s not just history that is written is it?” his eyes were intense when he looked at me.

“No” I said shaking my head “The stories told of things that happen in the future too”

“You do see why that is very difficult to believe don’t you?”

I nodded my head, not knowing what else to say. Did he want proof or something? Tell him knowledge that I shouldn’t know unless I know the future.

“It is true though, I’ll try and prove it” Thorin crossed his arms across his chest, an eyebrow raised as if to say ‘I’m waiting’.

“Well I assume that you’re journeying on your quest for Erebor right now” his eyes widen at the mention of the quest “So that must mean that we’re travelling to the shire. Where Gandalf has found a burglar for you. He’s a hobbit by the name of Bilbo baggins”

I stopped after that, not knowing how much more I should say. I didn’t want to mess something up after all.

Thorin’s gaze was burning a hole right through my soul. As if he was assessing me.

“Gandalf only informed me of the identity of the burglar a month ago. So the fact that you know it must mean that you do possess some foreknowledge”

Thorin looked pensieve, staring into the distance. “So that means you know how this journey could end. Well one version at least”

I gulped and nodded. “I don’t think I can tell you too much. It could change things for the worse”

A flash of anger flitted across his face “You could risk the safety of my company”

I stepped backwards slightly at the anger in his face “I don’t want to.” I stammered, I searched my mind for anything I could tell him. Something that wouldn’t change things too much. “I can tell you something. Er, the company is going to be followed. By a group of orcs. They want to stop you so they can take the mountain for themselves”

Thorin’s face remained impassive. “Kili has told me the same”

He did? It was obvious that he hadn’t told Thorin about their deaths though.

“Seeing as this threat has come from two parties I have no choice but to treat it as genuine” he relinquished. His anger was now gone, replaced with a more solemn expression. “And Leah, what you know could be highly dangerous in the wrong hands. You must tell no one of this”

“Of course” I said very quickly. I don’t know who I’d tell anyway.

We continued walking after that. At first the silence was heavy and awkward. After a little while though, Thorin started to return the conversation. I’m not sure whether he had forgiven me for holding back information or not. His friendly conversation seemed to indicate that there was no hard feelings.

* * *

We spent the next few days trekking across forests and fields. It was arduous work but thanks to my new and improved body I could handle it. A routine had formed over the days. Thorin would find us a place to rest and I’d help set up camp. He was better at getting a fire started than I was. Granted he probably had way more experience than I did. Though he was a fan of my fire starter. Apparently it was easier to get a spark with than the one he had. My Earth stuff was actually proving useful it seemed.

One night we were sitting around the fire when I tried to broach the subject of where I’d be going once we got to the shire.

“Thorin?” I asked, timidly.

“Yes” he said, sharpening his sword as he spoke. The whetstone made a metallic *Shheen* noise as it was brought down the blade. I would probably need to learn how to sharpen my own sword at some point.

“What will happen to me once we get to the Shire?” my hand fiddled with my bracelet as I spoke.

I knew he didn’t want me on the quest. I was too much of a liability, an unknown.

He hand stopped momentarily as his thoughts turned inwards. “I am not certain” he said after a while “Perhaps we can find you lodgings amongst the hobbits. I’ve heard that they are an amenable race.”

“Okay” I said, not quite looking at him.

We drifted into silence again. His sharpening re-commenced and I just stared into the fire. The flames danced in the darkening forest. Sparks flew off of it, the wood cracked and popped beneath it. I needed to go with them on this quest. There was no way that I was going to sit on my arse in Hobbiton while they potentially died. Maybe I could get Gandalf to convince Thorin let me go. He could be quite persuasive. 

I was so entranced by the flames that when a huge ass moth flew directly in front of me I screamed. Falling backwards off my perch on a small log.

“What was that?” I could hear amusement in his voice.

“A moth attacked me”

“Ah a moth, that’s serious business” sarcasm dripped from his voice “I’ve heard that they can be quite deadly. You’re lucky you made it out unscathed”

I narrowed my eyes and gave him an unimpressed frown as I clambered back onto my log.

* * *

After nearly a week of travelling we had finally made it to the Shire. However, my relief was short lived when I realised just how big the Shire was. It would still take us all day to reach Bag End. The Shire so far was mostly farmland with a few sprawling hills in the distance. We were yelled at by a grizzled old hobbit for using his land as a path. Thorin simply ignored him and carried on walking. I mumbled a quick apology and followed after Thorin.

A good trek later and we were in Hobbiton. It was like a dream. The sprawling hills and hobbit holes. So many flowers overflowed from every garden. Thorin had to shake me from my reverie. The biggest grin still stretched on my face though. I also couldn’t stop humming the concerning hobbits score. It eventually moved onto me singing ‘In Dreams’

_ When the cold of winter comes  _

_ Starless night will cover day  _

_ In the veiling of the sun  _

_ We will walk in bitter rain _

 

_ But in dreams  _

_ I can hear your name  _

_ And in dreams  _

_ We will meet again _

 

_ When the seas and mountains fall  _

_ And we come to end of days  _

_ In the dark I hear a call  _

_ Calling me there,  _

_ I will go there  _

_ And back again _

Thorin lost his way at some point. Nothing I hadn’t expected. After all, he said he got lost twice in the film. However, as seemed to be the case in most males, he refused to ask for directions. There were still a few hobbits out and about. We could have asked any of them. But noooo, that’s too easy.

“The directions Gandalf gave me are useless” he moaned “We turned left back there and there should be a fork in the road but there isn’t”

He’d been going on like that for a while. I leaned against a tree as I let him rant. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a young hobbit couple making their way up the path.

“I’m asking for help” I said, already pushing off the tree.

“I said no”

I ignored him and walked over to them. They were a little shocked to see me.

“Hello, my name is Leah” I gave them a little wave. Why did I tell them my name? I’m already being awkward “Erm I’m lost and I was wondering if you could help”

“Of course, I’m Gerold and this is my wife Shelby. Where did you need to be going?”

“Bag End. There’s a party I’m supposed to be going to”

Their eyebrows raised at that “Mr Bilbo’s having a party eh, with elves no less? He kept that quiet” Gerold joked.

I could feel the gossip spreading already. Sorry Bilbo. “Yeah”

“Oh well you’re not too far away. If you go back up this hill, turn right and then left again you should be there” said Gerold, pointing in the directions he was saying.

“Thank you so much,” I said.

“Oh no worries Miss, you have a good night now” said Shelby.

“You too” I called after them as they walked on by.

I walked back over to Thorin who was moodily leaning against a tree.

“See that wasn’t so hard was it” 

“Just keep walking” he grumbled

The directions Gerold had given us held true and Bag End revealed itself. I could see the glowing mark Gandalf had left on the door. Happy shouts and singing came from inside the hobbit hole. For a moment I was frozen. Kili was in there. I hadn’t actually thought about what would happen when I saw him again. What would I even say? My hands drifted up to my pointed ears.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Thorin ask.

“Oh god Kili’s in there. What am I going to say? I’ve been turned into an elf. What if he doesn’t like me anymore?” I was being stupid I know I was. If the movie was anything to go by, Kili had no qualms against liking elves. But this was real life now. Everything could be different.

“Stop worrying, it’ll be fine” he sighed.

Still feeling self-conscious, I lifted my hood up to cover my ears. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Opening the gate, he made his way up to the door. I stood directly behind him, feeling nervous and shy about being seen. A big cheer erupted from the centre of the hobbit hole signalling the end of their song.

“Right” said Thorin “Time to break up the party”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dad-mode activate. Thorin your protective side is showing.  
> Next chapter is the reunion scene.
> 
> Ozodl ezun muzm!- Vile hateful beasts  
> Abrâfu shaikmashâz- descendant of rats  
> In Dreams- Howard Shore


	15. And all this longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a pain to write. Turns out including movie dialogue is more awkward than i thought. I tried to make it so it wasn't word for word.

Nerves were eating me alive as Thorin knocked on the door. My stomach was doing so many flips I’m surprised it wasn’t an acrobat. I don’t even know why I was so nervous. Deep down I knew that Kili would be happy to see me. It was only my anxiety that was trying to convince me otherwise. 

The sounds of cheering stopped suddenly at the sound of Thorin’s knock. An apprehensive tension filled the air. My heartbeat crept up as I heard people shuffling behind the door. I was still hidden behind Thorin when the door creaked open. Over Thorin’s shoulder I could see a large group of dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit. Searching I tried to find Kili’s face but I couldn’t see from this vantage point.

“The directions you gave us we’re less than helpful Gandalf. We lost our way twice” said Thorin as he walked into the house.

I could hear a few confused mumblings “We?”

Some of the dwarves peered over Thorin’s shoulder and saw me still half covered by my hood.

“Ah yes,” he said, turning towards me “Kili, look who I found on my journey”

Thorin guided me into the house as he spoke. Shocked faces gazed at me from all the dwarves. It made me feel self-conscious. I searched around frantically before my gaze finally landed on who I wanted.

Kili

It was him. He was actually here. Seeing him made my heart sigh in relief. I was overwhelmed by the sudden emotion and a half crazed smile spread across my face. “Kili!”

His mouth dropped open almost comically and his eyes brimmed with emotion. I launched myself at him. Not caring about the others around me. My arms wrapped around him and I buried my face in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me without hesitation. Crushing me to him. It felt like home. 

“Leah?!” his voice cracked slightly. “How, How are you here?”

“It’s a long story” I mumbled into his shoulder.

We probably stood like that for a touch too long as I heard a few pointed coughs. I extricated myself from Kili and smiled at him. His expression mirrored my own, a smile stretched across his face.

“Ye never told us she was an elf maid lad” came a voice from behind me.

My face dropped and I turned towards the speaker. The top of his head was shaven with complex runes tattooed to his crown. Dwalin, it must be. My hood had fallen down when I hugged Kili so my new elven ears were clearly on display. I covered my ears self-consciously.

“What?!” Kili sputtered.

He looked up to me with wide eyes. His hand reached up and gently grabbed my chin. He tilted my head slightly so that he could see my ears. A shocked gasp fell from his mouth when he saw them. I could feel my cheeks heat up from his stares.

“When did this happen?!” he asked, bewildered.

“That’s a long story too,” I said in a small voice, not looking him in the eyes. Oh god I have no idea what he’s thinking. What if he thinks I’ve tricked him or something. Like haha fooled you I was an elf all along.

“We can discuss that later” said Thorin in a commanding voice. “Right now there are more pressing matters at hand”

Thorin turned towards the hobbit in the middle of the room. Bilbo was nearly a head shorter than Thorin but he still held his own beneath his stare. “So you must be Mr. Baggins, Tell me how much fighting has a hobbit like yourself done?”

He didn’t need to be so rude. Bilbo would become a valued member of his company if he let up a little. I felt a hand slip into mine. Looking down I saw that Kili had entwined his fingers with my own. He squeezed it reassuringly.

“Fighting? The only thing I’ve done even remotely similar would be a game of conkers” Bilbo asked flabbergasted. “Why is that relevant at all?”

Thorin sighed, looking like he knew best “I thought so, you look less like a burglar and more like a grocer”

A few chuckles emanated around the room from the dwarves. I didn’t laugh though, I didn’t want Bilbo to feel any worse. The poor hobbit looked so frantic and stressed about the whole situation. Thorin removed his large coat and handed it to a blonde haired dwarf. That must be Fili! Kili’s brother. I’d wanted to meet him for so long now. Reigning in my excitement I realised that everyone was moving to another room.

Bilbo was still stood in the middle of the room while the rest vacated. I felt a tugging at my hand, causing me to look around to Kili. 

“Come on we should get you something to eat,” he said. There was still an astonished look in his eyes as if he wasn’t convinced that I was actually there.

“Yeah” I nodded “Just one minute though.”

I let of of Kili’s hand and made my way over to Bilbo. “Hello, you must be Mr.Baggins. I’m Leah” I offered my hand towards him.

He happily shook my hand, his politeness not knowing when to quit. “Yes, yes hello”

“You have a really lovely home” I said, looking around “I know you weren’t expecting any of us but I’m very grateful you let me in”

“Oh, yes, thank you. And of course I wouldn’t just leave you outside. No self-respecting hobbit would leave a young lady out on their doorstep” said Bilbo.

I smiled down at him “Well I hope the dwarves haven’t eaten everything. I haven’t actually had dinner yet” I mused.

“No no, I’ll make sure you have something. Don’t worry” he said quickly. He swiveled his head around and realised that most of the dwarves had now moved on “Go find a seat and I’ll search for some food”

Then he was off. Striding to a different part of the house with all the confidence he could muster. Kili was back then. His hand was on my back leading me into the dining room. A lot of the dwarves turned to surreptitiously glance at me when I walked in. A few looked suspicious but I think they were most were just curious looks. It still made me feel self-conscious though. My face heated up and I looked down. Kili pulled a chair out for me before sitting down next to me. On my other side was a blonde dwarf with a very satisfied smirk on his face.

“So you’re the famous Leah that Kili won’t stop talking about” He said with a grin.

“Oh I am, am I?” I turned towards Kili, raising my eyebrows. Did he really talk about me? the thought sent a warm feeling across my chest.

“Fili, shut up” Kili said through his teeth.

“Oh I’m only having a bit of fun brother” then he turned back to me “Fili, at your service” he bowed his head as he said it. “I’m Kili’s older brother. It’s good to actually meet you”

There was a sincerity in his voice. Such that it sounded like he was genuinely happy to meet me. It made me smile. I’m so glad that he seemed to like me.

“Kili’s told me a lot about you too” I added “It’s cool to actually meet you”.

Fili raised his eyebrows slightly “So you’re where Kili got all these strange new words from”.

Bilbo came around not one minute later, half frazzled, with a plate full of food. It looked like he’d piled it with whatever he could find. I accepted it off of him with a smile and a thank you. There were a few scones, a bread roll, some cherry tomatoes, cheese and an apple. I happily dug in, starving from our journey. Thorin only wished to have some of the soup that was left over.

While I was half-way through my bread roll I looked up to see a very tall wizard giving me a quizzical look.

“Would anyone like to introduce me to this young elleth here?” said Gandalf.

“Er my name’s Leah Orrison” I looked around the room. All eyes were on me. 

“Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? It’s not often I come across an elf of your...stature” said Gandalf.

Dude’s calling me short, I realised. “I’m 20” shocked gasps came from around the table “But technically I think it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m not sure though because my days all got jumbled up”

This would be the first birthday where my mum wasn’t there to celebrate with me. I think mum was originally planning some kind of day trip to the seaside. Now she’s god knows where. At least I wouldn’t be alone for my birthday though. Kili was here. As well as a whole other company of dwarves that I hadn’t had the chance to acquaint myself with yet.

“To my knowledge there has not been an elf born for hundreds of years now. I’m surprised that this is the first time that I’m hearing of you” said Gandalf, his voice skeptical.  

“That’s probably because I’m not from this world and I  _ was  _ human before I landed here four weeks ago” 

Gandalf eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline and I heard a few shocked gasps from around the table. Not all the dwarves were aware of me or my situation it seems. 

“Another world? What d’ya mean by tha’ lass?” I turned to look who asked me the question. Their hair was dark brown and their mustache was long and unbraided. He had a very cool russian style hat on. Was it Bofur then?

“As in I lived somewhere completely different to here. It was just called Earth and there’s no magic or Valar or anything like that. And Middle Earth was just a story”

There were a few grumblings about the validity of my statement.

“It’s true” Kili came to the rescue “I’ve been there myself. It’s a strange world that’s nothing like this one”

“How did you come to be in that world Kili?” asked Gandalf, an inquisitive look in his eye.

Kili looked thoughtful for a second, trying to think of a way to explain. “There was some kind of gateway. I literally fell into it when I was pushed off of the side of a cliff”

“And is that how you returned here as well?” said Gandalf.

Kili nodded. 

“I’d heard that ye’d gone missing fer a few days but I had no idea ye’d gone to another world lad” said who I assumed was Bofur.

Then Kili turned to me with his eyebrows creased together “How did you get here Leah?”

“Well that portal thing showed up again like a week after you’d gone and basically kidnapped my mum. Then it came for me not long after” I said.

“Wait, Ellen’s here too? where is she?”

I looked down at my hands and started tracing the runes on my bracelet. “I don’t know” I said, voice suddenly full of emotion.

Kili reached over and covered my hand with his. Squeezing reassuringly.

“Let’s get back to the matter at hand” said Gandalf “Leah, when you said that, in your world, Middle Earth was a story. What did you mean by that?”

There was a glint of something in his eye. I had a feeling he already guessed what I was going to say. “Well this world’s history is written as fictional stories back in my world. Like the war of the last alliance… or the desolation of Smaug”

Emotions flickered in the dwarves eyes when I mentioned Smaug. Gandalf however leaned forward slightly.

“Just the histories?” The glint was still in Gandalf’s eyes

“N. No” I said, looking to Kili and Thorin before answering. Thorin gave the barest of nods, so I guessed it was okay to tell everyone. “The stories in my world extend past this point into the future”.

There were many scoffs and sounds of disbelief. I mean you couldn’t really blame them. It’s not everyday a random person shows up and says she knows the future is it?

“It’s true” said Kili “She told me that Bilbo would be joining the company over six months ago. Gandalf hadn’t even told us who he’d chosen until a month ago”

There were looks of astonishment around the table. Along with one very annoyed hobbit behind me “A Month?! You only spoke to me this morning!”

“Now, now Bilbo let us not get into the semantics of it” said Gandalf trying to calm a very disgruntled Bilbo.

“So yer a seer then?” asked another dwarf, this one with ginger hair. Gloin, maybe?

I didn’t want these dwarves to think that I was some kind of magical being with the power of foresight. That would only result in failure when I couldn’t ‘see’ an incoming problem.

“Not really, I only know one version of events that might happen. It could all change” Kili hand squeezed mine harder. He knew exactly what potential events could come to pass. He wanted to change those events as much as I did.

“That remains to be seen, but I think your foreknowledge could be infinitely useful on our quest. The Valar obviously put Kili in your path and brought you here for a reason. I believe that reason was for you to join us” said Gandalf, sounding incredibly wise.

I nearly sighed in relief when he said that. Thank god I didn’t have to goad him into letting me join. My relief was cut short however by cries of “No!”

“I cannot guarantee her safety” said Thorin

“She could be hurt!” said Kili.

I could understand Thorin saying no but the fact that Kili didn’t want me to go either hurt a little bit. 

“Please Thorin! I could help” I pleaded. He had to let me go.

“But..” Kili tried to say something else but I cut him off with a pleading look. His own eyes were slightly panicked.

“You would deny this company a valuable asset Thorin Oakenshield?” Gandalf’s voice suddenly had an edge to it. “When the Valar themselves seem to want her here?”

“There are many dangers ahead of us” The resoluteness of Thorin’s tone was wavering.

“And she may be able to warn us of those before they happen”

“She could get hurt”

“So could anyone in this company yet they have chosen to follow you all the same. Leah has said herself that she wishes to help and she knows better than we do of what dangers are to come” said Gandalf, matter-of-factly. 

Thorin leaned back in his chair. HIs face was very difficult to read as he pondered his thoughts for a few moments. Then he sighed deeply down his nose and faced me.

“If you are to join us you will need training,” he said, looking directly into my eyes.

Oh thank fuck for that. My relief was palpable. 

“You may have some skills with a knife but you will need more than that on this quest” Thorin continued.

“Thank you so much” I added breathlessly.

I felt Kili stiffen next to me. “What do you mean she has skills with a knife? How would you know that?” he asked warily.

Oh shit Kili will not be pleased when I tell him of my almost-kidnapping. I didn’t want him to feel bad. Knowing Kili he’d probably feel guilty that he wasn’t there to help me. Quickly, I turned to Thorin and begged for help with my eyes. He gave a small shake of his head that basically told me that it was up to me to tell Kili.

“I stabbed a guy!” I said very fast, needing to get it out as soon as possible. Like ripping off a bandaid.

“WHAT!?” he shouted, the sound so loud and sudden it made me wince sightly “Why in Mahal’s name did you need to stab someone?”

I rubbed my hands down my face and took a deep breath before continuing “I may have  _ almost  _ been kidnapped because they thought they could sell an elf child on the black market”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Good lord I should have said that in a better way. It sounded so much worse when I said it out loud. I could hear Kili’s panicked comments next to me. As I suspected he had started to blame himself for not being there. Thorin thankfully came to the rescue.

“Kili what’s done is done. We can’t change what happened, but she’s safe now. That’s all that matters.” said Thorin “Now can we please get back to discussing this quest”

Kili nodded, though his face was still awash with emotion. I reached for his hand and held it in both of mine. When he looked at me I gave him a small smile. “You did help me you know? Even though you weren’t there you were the one that taught me how to use a knife. And it was even your dagger that I used. Without that I could be god knows where right now” I whispered.

He gave me a small smile in return.

* * *

The following meeting played out in a very similar fashion to the film. It was so strange, like being in a movie scene. The full 4D experience. Seeing the map in person was also surreal. The map my tattoo was based off of was on the table in front of me. I didn’t miss the surprised noise that Kili made when he saw the image. I gave him a nudge and told him to shush. We didn’t need anymore attention right now.

“The portents say that it is time we return to the mountain” said who I guessed was Gloin.

“Ravens have been seen flocking to the mountain. It’s a sign that the beast’s reign is at its end” said the grey-haired dwarf next to him. Probably Oin

Bilbo grew uneasy and began pacing by the table. “A beast?”

“Aye” said Bofur? “A great big fire breathing dragon, melt the flesh of yer bones it will”

Thanks for that visual Bofur. Though it’s probably not helping Bilbo warm to the idea of helping you lot out. What followed was an argument about the logistics of fighting said dragon and how many dragons Gandalf had sleign in the past. It was hard to keep up with the conversation as everyone started to speak over each other. Thorin once again came to the rescue with his commanding authority. When he stood up everyone else quieted down.

“Do you not think that others would have read these signs too?” Thorin then looked over to me. I was the one that told him that Orcs wished to steal the mountain from them after all. “There will be others who wish to lay claim to what is rightfully ours. We cannot let them take it. We must seize this chance and retake our homeland”

Thorin sat back down as everyone seemed to absorb his message. A white haired dwarf on Thorin’s side didn’t seem as convinced.

“However the front gate is still closed. There is no way in or out of that mountain” said Balin?

It was Gandalf’s turn to come to save the day as he produced the key to the hidden door. The key was so much cooler in real life. I had a small version of it once, back home. Strung along a necklace.  Along with a replica of the one ring. However that gollumed me and went missing. Perhaps precious made its way to another unsuspecting hobbit.

Thorin must have recognised the key easily as he asked Gandalf where he got it from. When he told him that his father gave it to him a quick moment of vulnerability flashed across his face. Then he schooled his expression once more. He took the key from Gandalf’s hand.

“If we have a key, where is the door?” asked Fili

“There are runes on this map that speak of a hidden door. But dwarven doors are often invisible when they are closed. I believe that the answer to finding this door lies somewhere on this map but I cannot read it” said Gandalf, pointing towards the map.

“Why don’t we ask the one who apparently knows the future then?” said Dwalin, his voice was still very skeptical.

Everyone turned to look at me once more. All with expectant expressions. Shit. I can’t remember the wording. What did it even say? Probably should have brushed up on the finer points of The Hobbit before I arrived. I knew the important parts, like giant spiders and a huge battle! that should count for something.

“Err I can’t really remember what it says” I heard Dwalin scoff, it made my cheeks heat up. “There was something about a thrush and the light of Durin’s day” I said in a smaller voice.

“Durin’s day? We have a deadline then it seems” said Balin, ruminating on my words.

Gandalf then went on to talk about the task he had in mind for the reluctant hobbit, who’s house we had invaded. Bilbo was not impressed about being asked to steal anything. He was a respectful hobbit after all. The other dwarves were starting to think the same. Surely someone like Bilbo couldn’t handle this task. I knew better though. And so did Gandalf, who grew angry and scolded the dwarves for their lack of faith.

“So be it, we’ll do it your way” said Thorin. Then he turned to Balin “Give him the contract. One will have to be written up for Miss Leah also.”

Oooh I was getting my own contract. That made me smile. Bilbo however was not smiling. The more he read, the more concerned he grew. Bofur didn’t help matters when he spoke of all the twisted things a dragon do to fuck you up. Poor Bilbo couldn’t handle it and promptly fainted. I just about made it in time so that he didn’t bang his head on the floor.

* * *

Gandalf helped me move Bilbo into the other room. He was heavier than he looked for someone so small. Once we got the unconscious Bilbo settled everyone else cleared out of the room. I followed suit wanting to give him some air. He’d come around to the idea of the company at some point but he needed a bit of time.

As I exited Bilbo’s living room I bumped into Kili. He caught me by my arms before I could run him over. A small laugh escaped him. He looked around a little bit at all the other dwarves milling around. “Let’s go outside for a minute”

“Okay” I nodded. I also wanted to be able to talk to him without all these eyes following. us.

Kili led the way and I followed him into the garden. There was a curved path towards the front gate where a lovely wooden bench sat. We wound our way towards it and sat down. None of us spoke at first, merely looked out at the view. More stars than I’d ever seen coated the sky like a blanket. The rolling hills were mostly in shadow but a few lamps of light popped up on the horizon. I turned towards Kili, just seeing him again made my heart sing. He was here. I buried my face in his shoulder, the soft scent from his hair tickled my nose. He always smelled nice. Kili’s arm wrapped around my back and I felt him rest a cheek on my head.

“I can’t believe you’re here” he was choking up “I thought, I thought I’d never see you again”

His grip tightened around me as he spoke. As if he was scared to let me go. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I leaned back so that I could see his face. He had gone misty eyed. If he carried on like this he was gonna make me cry too.

“Don’t cry” I said, bringing my hand up to cup his face. “I’m here now”

A short laugh fell from his lips and he leaned into my hand “I’m not crying” he shook his head as if the notion was ridiculous. “I never cry”.

I laughed at his antics and he returned a smile in kind. Kili covered the hand on his face with his own. “Can you tell me the whole story now?”

And so I did. I told him about Mum’s breakdown and subsequent disappearance. About knowing it was coming for me next. Then waking up as an elf. He was, not surprisingly, very intrigued by that part. Kili looked at my ears with open fascination. I was so glad that he wasn’t treating me any differently because of them. He reached up and traced a finger down the point of my ear. I’m embarrassed to say that I let out a small gasp and shivered at the sensation. My face heated up when I realised what I did. 

“Sorry” I said breathlessly “They’re quite sensitive now”

Kili’s look heated up at my actions. But I elected to ignore it lest I get even more flustered. Why did this dwarf have to affect me so badly?

Quickly I changed the topic in hopes that my heart rate would slow. I told him about the dwarves that looked after me and singing in the tavern. He was so happy that some of his people treated me so well. Then he expressed jealousy at not being able to hear me sing at the tavern. I saved the worst until last. It took a lot for me to tell him about the creepy men. My heart started pounding and panic rose up as I recalled it. Kili held me close to him to help me calm down. 

HIs anger was visceral. Worse than when he confronted Ethan. It took a lot of effort for me to calm him down. After he was calm we drifted into silence. I leaned against his shoulder and Kili wrapped an arm around me. We stayed like that for a little bit, just happy to be with each other. At one point my hand had drifted to rest on his chest. Over his heart. His own hand covered mine. I realised then that I’d never actually told Kili about my feelings for him. The way he had reacted seemed to hint that he felt the same way. It made my head spin. However, I was very much a coward in this respect. Even in the case of overwhelming evidence there was still doubt in my mind. Maybe this is how he acts with friends.

As my inner musings were reaching a fever pitch, I felt my hand brush against something. I moved my hand away from his chest slightly, Kili dropped his hand away at the same time. A giggle rose up at what I saw. “Is that a zip?” I asked

Kili’s face lit up too. “It is in fact. A tailor saw the one on my jacket and was amazed by the design. You will be happy to know it is now a dwarven fashion trend”

“No way” holy shit that is so funny. Do I count as an influencer now? A trendsetter?

“I knew you’d find it funny” he looked so happy.

As we were both laughing a pointed cough alerted us to a new arrival. We hadn’t heard someone come outside as we were too busy talking. Turning around we saw that it was Fili.

“Uncle would like a word with you Kili” he said “Don’t worry I can keep Leah company”

Kili looked unsure for a second. Whether it was because Thorin wanted to speak with him or because he was leaving me I wasn’t sure. 

“Okay” he said and made his way inside. I heard him say something to his brother as he walked past. I’m pretty sure it was ‘Behave’.

“Always brother dearest” Fili said with a smirk.

When Kili’s retreating form had left our eyeline Fili started towards the bench. “Move over a bit I’m not that small” he joked.

Granted I was in the middle and the side that he wanted to sit on wasn’t very big. I shuffled over to the other side of the bench to let him in. He sat down with a long sigh, a very big grin then stretched on his face. I was a little nervous, I desperately wanted Fili to like me. Well to be honest I had a need for everyone to like me but that's besides the point. Fili was Kili’s older brother. Who he looked up to and loved fiercely.

“He cares about you a lot you know.” he said.

My heart bit picked up at that. “I care about him a lot too”

“Good” his bravado then seemed to slip somewhat.

He sighed deeply before looking down at his hands. “I never thought I would get to meet you so I apologise for my shoddy excuse for a thank you”

“A thank you?”

“You saved him. If it wasn’t for you or your world then my little brother would be dead right now. At the bottom of a cliff or mauled by a warg” his voice caught as he spoke “I saw him fall and I thought that I’d failed as an older brother”

Seeing him break was awful. I knew that he didn’t really know me but I wanted to offer him comfort. Grabbing one of his hands I squeezed it between my own. “You didn’t fail, it wasn’t your fault that a warg showed up”

“I should have been faster” he was looking out, not really seeing the horizon.

“Then you might have been killed too.” I said “Look Kili is alive and healthy you didn’t fail at anything”

Fili gave me a small smile. Then he sniffed and shook his head “Sorry I didn’t mean to get emotional there. I’m ‘cooler’ than that. Did I use that word right?”

“You did” I said, smiling brightly.

A more genuine smile spread across his face then “You have no idea what it felt like when I saw him again. Perfectly healthy, no injuries at all. Wearing the weirdest clothes I’ve ever seen” We both chuckled at that.

“Hey, I helped him choose that shirt” I joked back with a nudge.

“I’m sure you did,” he said with a smile.

“It wasn’t only me that helped him.” Fili raised an eyebrow “My Mum helped the most. If it wasn’t for her I’d probably have more than just this to show from that warg.”

I lifted my sleeve up to reveal the scars from the warg attack. They had faded slightly since I became an elf but they were still quite visible.

“A lady with battle scars” Fili lifted his brows “I like it”

“Shut up” I said, giving his shoulder a shove.

* * *

We stayed out there for a little bit longer before deciding to join the rest back inside. Kili was a little red in the face when we showed up. I wonder what Thorin wanted to talk about. It was probably to do with me wasn’t it. He smiled at us and tried to look less flustered. Fili smirked and patted his brother on the back.

Looking through to Bilbo’s sitting room I saw that he was back in the world of the living. I excused myself for a minute and went over to talk with him.

“Will I come back?” Bilbo asked Gandalf.

“We cannot be certain and you will be a changed hobbit if you do” Gandalf replied

Bilbo looked down again “Then I think you need a different hobbit” he said in a small voice.

They both turned around to look at me as I entered the room. I gave them a small wave and a ‘hello’ in greeting.

“Hello my dear” said Gandalf, in a very grandfatherly voice. He then looked between Bilbo and I “Perhaps you could help convince him” then he glided out of the room.

It was rather strange seeing such an old man walk with such grace. Then again he wasn’t a man at all. Istari have swagger it seems. I turned back towards Bilbo and made my way over to his chair. There was a little footstool in front of it that I plonked myself down on.

“So you’re the future teller then” Bilbo said.

“I guess you could say that”

He looked down at his cup of tea. “You knew about me. In your stories I was in them”

“You were”

He looked back up at me “And it wasn’t just at the beginning with me refusing to go was it?”

I shook my head and gave him an encouraging smile.

“How can that be?” he sighed “I don’t have any of the right skills for something like this. I can’t fight and I’m definitely not a burglar” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“You’ll learn I promise. If you stop being so hard on yourself, you'll realise that you can do a lot more than you think. ”

“Well forgive me if I don’t quite believe that”

It was sad seeing Bilbo with such low confidence. He was going to do great things he just needed to believe in himself more. 

“I wasn’t an elf until a few weeks ago. A lot can change in a short time” I joked, trying to lighten the mood “And you won’t be the only outsider. Not only am I an elf among dwarves I’m also from a different world”

Bilbo chuckled “I guess so. Though you do already have some friends”

“Yeah” I chuckled back. “Also, forgive the dwarves for raiding your pantry. In their defence they thought you had already agreed to come. They were simply cleaning out the cupboards so the food wouldn’t go bad when you left”

Bilbo had a thoughtful look on his face “That actually makes more sense now”

I made to stand up, Bilbo following my action. “Just have a think on it tonight, okay?” Then I paused before continuing “Pack a bag, even if you decide you don’t want to go. It’ll just make things easier if you do… And pack a handkerchief” I added with a smile.

“A handkerchief, that’s a good idea”

We were quickly jolted from our musings by a harmonious humming. My mouth dropped open in a gasp and Bilbo looked confused. I turned Bilbo around by the shoulder and hastily led him towards the singing. He was not going to miss this. I left him by the doorway and made my way over to Kili. He was stood staring into the fire. I don’t think he saw me as he jumped slightly when I stood next to him. He gave me a short nod of his head, his face remained somber. I gave his hand a quick squeeze.

_ Far over the misty mountains cold _

_ To dungeons deep and caverns old _

_ We must away ere break of day _

_ To find our long-forgotten gold _

 

_ The pines were roaring on the height _

_ The winds were moaning in the night _

_ The fire was red, it flaming spread _

_ The trees like torches blazed with light _

Somehow I resisted the urge to sing along. This was a special moment for the dwarves and they definitely didn’t want me to be joining in. All the dwarves were unified as they looked to their leader. You could tell how much they believed in him.

The dwarves started to disperse then. Wandering off to different parts of the house to find somewhere to sleep. I wasn’t sure where I should be going. I decided just to stick with Kili. It seemed like the best idea. Kili and Fili found another room. This one had one very cushioned chair in one corner and a writing desk. An argument ensued about who would get the comfy chair. They wanted me to take it but I told them that I’d be fine on the floor.

“Trust me, I’m helping you” said Fili, a hand over his heart “Kili is a cuddler if you slept next to him there would be no escape”

Kili told Fili to shut up and punched him in the arm. My cheeks heated up a touch as I recalled just how true Fili’s statement was. It had taken all my dexterity to extricate myself from Kili that time I had fallen asleep on him.

“Believe me I know” I whispered under my breath.

Fili’s eyebrows shot up. Okay, I hadn’t meant for anyone to hear that. Fili however looked as if Christmas had come early. He turned towards Kili with a mock shocked face. 

“Scandalous” 

Kili refused to look at him, instead focusing on a spot on the floor. 

“Fine I’ll take the chair” I surrendered. Trying to deflect from my previous statement. “If it will shut you up”


	16. We dressed up all in blue

There wasn’t any windows in this room but the sunlight slowly made its way in from other parts of the house. I stretched my legs out, pointing my toes. Secretly, I was glad that they let me have the chair. After nearly a week of sleeping on the ground the soft chair was a sweet relief. Who knows when I’d get to sleep in a proper bed again. So I stayed snuggled up in the chair for a few moments longer. Soft snores emanated up from below me and I knew Fili and Kili were close by. It wasn’t until I heard other people shuffling around that I finally climbed out of the chair.

I tiptoed around the brothers, not wanting to wake them up yet. They probably had a bit longer to stay asleep. Sunlight poured through the windows as I moved more towards the front of the house. A couple of people were milling about in the dining room. Sorting out their packs and having a small breakfast. Gandalf was sat in one corner smoking his pipe. He gave me a small smile when he saw me and waved me over. The white haired dwarf was next to him, pouring over some papers on the table.

“Ah Leah my dear” then he pointed to the dwarf “This here is Balin, though I suspect you may have known that already” A knowing smile curved the corners of his mouth.

I might have had an inkling yes. Balin looked up from his papers at the mention of his name. He gave me a genuine smile and I smiled back

“It’s nice to meet yer lass. I’ve drawn up a contract here for ye to sign” he pointed to the paper. “It’s very much like all the others and ye will get a cut of the treasure”

I raised my eyebrows at that. That was a surprise. For some reason I just assumed that they wouldn’t give me any treasure, it’s not like I really wanted any. I looked down at the contract, I had to twist my head slightly to read it properly. It seemed similar to the one that Bilbo had been reading out yesterday. Only mine had a new section just for me. Essentially saying that I won’t reveal sensitive information about the future to anyone outside of the company. You couldn’t really argue with that. Fortunately, I didn’t exactly have anyone else to tell. Unless you count Lord Elrond, I have a feeling he’d probably find out sooner or later. Whether from me or Gandalf. 

Balin handed me a pen and I signed my name. It wasn’t the easiest thing as it was some kind of quill that required a pot of ink. Several big splotches fell onto the page as I tried to write. I apologised for the messy scrawl and handed the contract back to Balin. He gave it a quick once over before deciding that everything was in order. Then he folded the contract up and left the room. Probably to give it to Thorin.

A few more dwarves were awake now. Following the smell of toast. Turning around I came face to face with a very enigmatic dwarf. His hair was black and white and there was a very noticeable axe protruding from his forehead.

“Imnê Bifur zai adshânzu. Abnâmul tada abdakhizu” he said very fast.

I had no hope at all of understanding what he said. I wasn’t about to be rude though so I gave him a polite smile and said hello.

“He was saying that his name is Bifur and that it’s nice to meet ye lass” came a voice from behind Bifur. He emerged and placed a hand over his chest, a small bow to his head “I’m Bofur, his cousin”

So that’s how ‘Nice to meet you’ is supposed to be pronounced in khuzdul. No wonder Kili laughed at my pronunciation when I tried to say it all those months ago. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you too”

“That one over there is my brother Bombur” he pointed across the table to a very large ginger dwarf. “He’s a bit shy. Say hello Bombur”

Bombur looked up at me and gave me a very brief and tentative hello. Then he went back to piling toast onto his plate. Bifur started saying something else, speaking very fast I’m surprised that Bofur could keep up. His hands moved along as he spoke. It must have been Iglishmek, the dwarven sign language.

“Bifur would like to know if yer had any food yet. He’s concerned Bombur over there has stole all the bread” said Bofur, an amused smirk creeping up onto his face.

Bombur gave a disgruntled noise at the accusation and it made me giggle. “Er no I haven’t had anything yet. I only came in a little bit before you did”

“Right then” Bofur nodded before reaching across the table and stealing a piece of toast right off of Bombur’s plate “Here ye go”

He handed me the bread. It was already slathered in thick homemade Jam. Bombur was not too impressed by the thievery. 

“I’m sure I can find something else, I don’t want to steal your breakfast” I said, offering the toast back to Bombur.

Bombur shook his head “It’s okay lass. I’ll let ye have it”

I smiled and thanked him. Taking a seat at the table, I started to dig in. Being an actual gremlin in disguise I managed to get jam on the table and down my shirt. I heard Bofur laugh at the mess I’d made. He and Bifur had sat across from me next to Bombur. Bifur was chuckling at me and saying something in khuzdul. I had a feeling it was probably mocking me for eating like a child. A smile pulled at my mouth but my cheeks heated.

“Don’t worry about Bifur lass. He’s not speaking different to be mean” said Bofur “The thing in his head makes speaking difficult for him. He can understand everything fine but the words don’t come out right. No one really knows why”

That made me pause for a moment. Why did that sound familiar? It wasn’t just because I already knew about Bifur’s affliction. Something else was tugging at my mind. Then it came to me. From the first psychology lecture I had dragged Kili to.

“That sounds a bit like Broca’s aphasia” I said around a bite of toast.

“What’s that lass” said Bofur. All the other dwarves were now looking at me expectantly as well.

“Erm there’s a part of the brain towards the front called Broca’s area” I motioned towards my forehead “It’s responsible for speech production. So when people damage it they struggle to get their words out properly. They can understand what you’re saying they just can’t speak”

There was a stunned silence. “That does sound like what Bifur has” mused Bofur, then a hopeful look shone in his eyes “So if other people have this, is it fixable?”

I pondered for a moment, trying to recall exactly what the lecturer had said. “I think after a while the brain makes new connections so that they can start to speak properly again.” I said “Though, I think the fact that the axe is still in your head might be stopping that from happening” 

Bofur rubbed a hand through his mustache “I see. We’ll have to get that looked into after this quest is over then cousin”

* * *

 

After a little while all the dwarves were awake. Bilbo was a no show but I knew that he’d show up later. Kili wandered into the dining room tiredly rubbing his eyes. His face lit up once he saw me and he came and sat down.

“For a second there I was concerned that I dreamt you up yesterday,” he said, reaching for a cup of water.

“So do you often dream about me?” I joked.

Kili nearly spat out his drink “N.no. nope” he said shaking his head. “Nothing of the sort”

I laughed at his embarrassed demeanour. Fili then came up behind us and patted his brother on the back.

“Oh Leah, you’re making him all flustered” he quipped before sitting down on my opposite side.

I heard Kili mumble something under his breath about ‘never being flustered’. Fili started munching on an apple he’d found on the table. While Kili went back to drinking his water. After downing his drink his eyes widened. As if something had dawned on him.

“Is it really your birthday today?” 

I pursed my lips, puzzled. “I’m not sure because when I arrived here it was a completely different month. Though technically I think it would be today back in my world.”

“We should celebrate in some way” said Fili from my right side. “You’re only 21 once”

I raised an eyebrow “How are we going to do that? Were setting off today, not much time for celebrations on the road”

“Oh we’ll think of something” Fili mused.

If you say so Fili. I shook my head at him, not quite believing him. Gandalf then leaned forward in his chair.

“You know, among elves, they usually celebrate the day they were conceived rather than the day they were born,” said Gandalf.   

My eyebrows creased together and a surprised laugh fell from my mouth “How would you know the day you were conceived?”

“Oh, elves have an uncanny ability of simply ‘knowing’ when they are with child. The moment the child’s Fëa is formed an elf can detect it”

“That’s weeeird” I surmised.

Gandalf simply chuckled and leaned back into his seat.

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before it was time to go. We needed to sort out the ponies. Also a new one needed to be purchased for me. They had only brought enough to carry the 14 of them, along with one for supplies. I could have taken the supply horse but then the poor thing would be overburdened. That meant that it was time for horse shopping. Apparently Gandalf knew a hobbit who could sell us a horse. They lived towards the middle of Hobbiton. It was only Gandalf, Thorin and I who went to meet them. A whole company of dwarves was probably a bit overwhelming.

The hobbit’s name was Ferdinand and he was a happy, portly fellow. His horses looked well cared for. He was reluctant to sell at first as he was so close to the animals. In the end Gandalf convinced him that we would take good care of the horse. I bit my tongue recalling the trolls that would potentially eat the poor thing. 

The horse was slightly larger than the ponies that the dwarves had. It was also less shaggy. Their coat was a shiny grey with splodges of black along its body. She was a very patient horse which I was thankful for. I gave her a piece of apple while I stroked her nose. I’d have to think of a name for her at some point. 

Looking around, I saw how Hobbiton burst to life. People wandered around with their families, off to the market or their work. These were the people that Bilbo would have to leave behind. A frown formed on my face. They were also the same people that would then auction off his possessions when he came back. Maybe I could do something to prevent that.

“Gandalf” 

“Yes my dear?” said Gandalf from behind me.

“Does Hobbiton have a Mayor or something?” I asked

Gandalf arched a brow “They have a Thain. Thain Fortinbras I do believe. Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking I could help Bilbo. From the story, Bilbo comes home only to find out everyone had auctioned off his things because they thought he was dead” I said in a low voice so that no one could eavesdrop.

Both Thorin and Gandalf seemed shocked by the information.

“Oh my. That would be terribly disheartening to come home to.” He looked around at the different buildings dotted around “The Thain should be over in that building over there”

Gandalf pointed towards one of the only two-story buildings that I could see. “If you’ll give Thorin and I a moment to pay for your horse we can go over together”

“Everything will be done faster if I go on my own while you pay. I’ll be back in a moment”

The confidence with which I said that waned as I got closer to the building. Oh god I haven’t even thought of what to say. Do I just go in or do I need to knock? Thankfully, I saw a few people wander in and out freely. So it seemed I could just walk in. When I walked in the first thing I noticed was a small desk with a female hobbit behind it. Her blonde curls bounced down her back and her cheeks were very rosy. Finally, someone else with cheeks as red as mine.

“Hello” she sounded very surprised “Can I help you?”

“Erm I think I need to speak with the Thain” my voice did not sound convinced by my own words.

“That would be me my darling. How can I help you today?” a voice suddenly came from my left. 

Turning I saw that there was an open doorway with a rather tall hobbit sticking out of it. He came to about my chin.

“It’s about Mr Baggins”

“Bilbo? What’s he up to then? and with an elf no less.” he asked,a crease forming between his eyes.

“He’s erm. He’s going on a trip...To see Rivendell” I made up on the spot “So he might not be back for a while. But he will be back at some point and he needs to know that his possessions will be alright”

I sounded very awkward to my ears but the Thane seemed to take me seriously at least.

“Going on holiday is he? Well I’ll make sure all of his things are accounted for when he gets back, don’t worry” He said.

I thanked him profusely before ducking out of there quickly. That was enough awkward for one day. Gandalf and Thorin were wandering over to me as I left the building. Perfect timing.

“She’s all yours” said Thorin, handing me the reigns.

It was scary and exciting at the same time. She bumped me with her nose and I gave her a little pat. Little cutie. We led her to where the rest of the dwarves were standing. Some were already sat on their ponies. Others were still attaching things to their saddles. Kili saw us wandering towards them and bounded over happily. He helped me attach my bag to the back of the horse. I still needed to think of a name. ‘The Horse’ just wasn’t doing it for me. Thorin soon called for everyone to saddle up. We were ready to go.

Well, nearly everyone. I hesitated as nerves started to take over. I’d never actually ridden a horse properly, only a few times as a young child. Those didn’t really count. Kili saw me hesitating and asked me what was wrong. Just as I went to tell him, something strange flickered in my mind.

_The horse in front of me was now a lot larger. Her coat gleamed like silver beneath my small hands. I marvelled at the softness. Without warning a strong pair of hands wrapped around my waist and lifted me up. A shocked giggle fell from my mouth as I was placed into the saddle._

_“I can do it myself Ada” I exclaimed._

_Ada smiled up at me, his eyes lighting up. “I’m sure you can tithin ven” said Ada “Now show me how you sit on a horse properly”_

_I shifted in the saddle so that I was towards the middle. Then my feet slipped into the stirrups below me, my legs gripped the horse but not too hard. I straightened my back and held my head higher. Just like I’d been shown before._

_“Like that?”_

_Ada looked inquisitively at my positioning. “Nearly, just remember that it’s only the balls of your feet that go into the stirrup” he repositioned my foot as he spoke. “Mithiel is a very patient horse and she will look after you.”_

_“Okay Ada”_

_Ada beamed up at me. “Your Naneth is over there why don’t you try riding towards her”_

The vision stopped all at once and I was back in my normal surroundings. Whoa, what the fuck was that? It was like a memory only it couldn’t be mine. Dad never showed me how to ride a horse. Also the fact that his ears were pointed yet again didn’t slip my mind. What the hell was happening to me? Kili had noticed my internal struggle. He reached a hand up to my shoulder. Sort of shaking me out of whatever that was.

“Are you okay? Your eyes sort of glazed over for a second” he asked, concern in his voice.

I shook my head “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I think” I tried to give him a convincing smile “Lets just get on our horses and we can get going”

My body seemed to automatically know what it was doing. Even if my mind was reeling. In one smooth motion I was on the horse and in the stirrups.

“Have you done this before?” Kili asked, impressed.

“No” I tried to keep the panic from my voice.

* * *

 

The horse ended up being called Mithiel. If it was good enough for that weird not-memory then it was good enough for me. It was a pretty name at least and seemed to suit her well anyway. She was a very well-behaved horse and followed along after the others. A few of them had named their own. I remembered Myrtle and Minty from the films. Dwalin’s pony had a surprising name. Fallulah. It seemed too flowery for someone like Dwalin. I was expecting something more like ‘Hatchet’. The name of Kili’s horse was my favourite though. He named it Merlin. I knew he liked that story when I told it to him. When Kili asked me what I had named my horse though, he gave me a confused face.

“What does that mean?” he said, a crease forming between his eyes.

“No Idea” I relented, shaking my head.

“It means Grey daughter, my dear. Quite fitting for her colouring”

I swivelled my head around to see Gandalf riding alongside us. His horse was full sized and towered above us.

“How did you come by such a name?” his eyebrows raised in question.

“I don’t know” I mumbled, looking away. I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t want to tell Gandalf the truth. In all fairness it was probably because I didn’t want people to look at me like I was a freak.

I could tell by Gandalf’s face that he wasn’t convinced by my answer “I see” was all he said before he urged his horse further forward.

The rest of the dwarves had introduced themselves to me while we rode. Some were more jovial than others. Gloin, Oin and Dwalin gave me very brief introductions. I just about got in a ‘nice to meet you’ before they rode ahead. Ori, Nori and Dori stayed around a little longer for a chat. Nori’s voice always seemed to have a suggestive lilt to it and he was fond of wagging his braided eyebrows at me. Dori was very proper and most definitely a mother hen. Especially to his younger brother Ori. Ori himself was very eager to say hello to me. I could tell he was still rather shy but his excitement got the better of him. He wanted me to tell him everything about my world. Told me he wanted to write it all down.

It wasn’t long before the bets started flying around. Would Bilbo show up? Who knows? Oh wait, I do.

Kili leaned in towards me from his pony. “So, will you be betting any money oh future teller?” he waved his eyebrows at me.

“I don’t think they’ll let me” I said “It would be like betting against a rigged game”

“We’ll place the bet for you,” said Fili coming up on my other side “They’ll never know”

I pondered for a second. He made a strong case and I could use the extra money. “Deal” I said before rifling through my pack. Trying to find that money pouch I’d gotten from Rildolach. When I finally found it I pulled it out of my bag. The coins jingled musically in the bag as I pulled it out. It’s weight had gotten quite significant over the time I’d spent with Vivni and Alldi. There was never anything to spend it on and there was only so much I could sneak into their bags before they got suspicious. Though I still wasn’t certain about what each coin was worth I’m sure there was a fair sum in the bag.

I handed the bag over to Kili. His eyes widened at the weight of the bag. “Where did you get this from?”

“You’re looking at a successful Bard” I said, flicking my hair sarcastically.

So Fili and Kili placed my bet for me. There were a few suspicious glances but no one called me out for cheating. Everyone was chatting amongst themselves when I caught the sound of pounding feet. I turned around to try and hear the sound better. Soft yells started to carry on the wind. However no one else seemed to notice yet.

“Bilbo’s here” I spoke loudly so everyone could hear me.

Several dwarves stopped their ponies and many were looked around.

“Where? I can’t see anything” said Dwalin.

The shouts were getting louder. Surely they could hear him now. Thankfully some faces flickered towards the sound and they realised that I was correct. A breathless Bilbo appeared over the crest of a hill. Dressed for adventure and contract in hand.

“Told you” I gave a self satisfied smile.

Bilbo ran up towards Thorin “Look, look I’ve signed it. I would like to join your company” 

Thorin took the contract from Bilbo’s outstretched hand. He gave it a quick once over before handing it to Balin. Balin gave the contract a more indepth perusal before admitting Bilbo into the company of Thorin Oakenshield.

Bilbo was pretty adamant about walking beside everyone. However he didn’t get much of a choice when a couple of dwarves lifted him up onto a pony. He was most definitely not in his element. The reigns were held in his hands as if the whole thing was about to explode any second. Fortunately his pony just followed on after the others and Bilbo didn’t need to steer at all. 

I moved my horse closer to his. My new found horse skills still amazed and terrified me. Bilbo smiled upon seeing me and I return the expression in kind.

“Thank you for convincing me to pack a bag last night,” he said, “It made racing to catch up with you a little easi..ah..achoo” he sneezed 

Holding up a finger, he reached into his bag and withdrew an embroidered handkerchief. He wiped his nose quickly before tucking the handkerchief away. “And thank you for reminding me about a handkerchief. You’re a lifesaver”

“You’re welcome Bilbo” I paused for a moment “Oh I told the Thain that you were leaving for a while”

Bilbo was taken aback. A deep crease formed in the middle of his eyes “The Thain? What for?”

“I told him that you were going away for a while but that you would return at some point. That way, hopefully, all your stuff won’t be auctioned off because they think you’re dead. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins will have to find another way to steal your silverware” I explained.

A shocked gasp fell from his mouth “Is that, you know? the future thing. Was that what was going to happen? The thieving. conniving little…”

I let him rant for a little bit. Those Sackville-Bagginses could be real pieces of work apparently.

* * *

 

**Kili**

She was here.

His One.

He had prayed nearly everyday, hoping that there was some way that he would see her again. The moment he saw her standing next to his Uncle, time stopped. His heart skipped a beat and the breath caught in his lungs. Surely what he was seeing was some kind of illusion. A conjuring his own mind had made up to cope with the pain. Then she smiled, an emotion so happy it took over her whole face. She called his name and then she was in his arms.

Real, she was real.

Leah was in his arms again. All of his prayers answered at once. Mahal she even smelled the same. It took everything in him not to choke up. He drank in all of her features like a person dying of thirst. Committing them memory so that he would never forget them. If, by some cruel twist of fate, this was all a dream he was going to remember everything.

But it wasn’t a dream. Leah was really here, in his world… And apparently now an elf. Now he definitely couldn’t say that it wasn’t a shock. It’s not everyday that you’re One becomes an entirely different being. But he was not going to let it spoil their reunion. Kili could tell that she was insecure about her transformation. However, he didn’t view her any differently. She still took his breath away, beautiful as ever. Also, and he would never tell anyone this, he liked Leah’s new ears. They suited her.

When she told him about what had nearly happened to her he saw red. A combination of fear, rage and shame had flown through him. Leah had nearly been taken away from him and he had, had no idea. He should have been there. The thought of what could have happened made him feel sick. It took everything in him to try and calm himself down after that. Her being wrapped in his arms probably helped the most.

Kili knew that he needed to talk to Leah. This whole situation was mind-boggling and he had no idea about where they stood relationship wise. He had given her a courting gift but never got to tell her that, that’s what it was. Her world was so much different than his, she probably thought that it was simply a gift between friends. Maybe she wanted to be just friends. But then again she did kiss him. That must mean something right? But she was also drunk at the time and now can’t remember it. Oh Mahal why couldn’t this be easier? 

He was interrupted from his internal battle by his brother. Uncle Thorin wanted to speak with him. His heart yearned to stay with Leah, not wanting to leave her side. However, he knew that, that wouldn’t be practical and that he shouldn’t ignore his uncle. Fili offered to keep Leah company and Kili narrowed his eyes. Knowing his brother he was probably looking for a way to tell Leah of every embarrassing thing he’d ever done. A quick ‘Behave’ was all he said to Fili before making his way inside.

Thorin was speaking in hushed tones to Balin when he went inside. Upon seeing him, Thorin nodded goodbye to Balin and made his way over to Kili. Grabbing him by the shoulder, Thorin then led him into a different part of the house so that they were alone. What followed was a very awkward conversation. It was about the behaviour that was expected between him and Leah while they were part of the company. ‘No fraternising’ was the term that Thorin had coined. Under no circumstances would they wander off alone together. Kili’s face had gone bright red with what Thorin had been insinuating.

When he had woken up the next day he nearly had a panic. She wasn’t on the chair where they had left her. For a dark second he’d thought that he had imagined her last night. Then her melodic voice bounced from somewhere in the house and he felt himself relax again. He’d told her of his brief panic when he walked into the room. How he’d thought she was all a dream. Kili had said it jokingly but deep down he knew that it was a very real fear. 

When she had asked if he normally dreamt about her he nearly spat out his drink. There may have been some truth to it. In the six months that he didn’t see her, she would often appear in his dreams. One of the most memorable ones was of them dancing. He’d spin her around and her laugh would light up her face. Then he’d whisper ‘Menu tassu, mi yâsith’ ( _You mean everything to me, my wife_ ) into her ear before bringing her closer and kissing her. That one always hurt the most when he thought he would never see her again. The idea of being able to call her his wife one day made his heart race. In other dreams a kiss would escalate into...other things. He shook his head and tried not to think about those particular ones. Mahal, he needed something stronger than water to drink.

Of course, Leah had been correct in saying that a certain hobbit would show up. Kili obviously bet with her and now sported a heftier sum than he previously did. Fili divided up their winnings and gave Leah her share. There were a few sounds of protest when they realised that Leah had betted. Gloin had cried cheating because they’d conferred with a seer. He didn’t let it get to him though. Simply flashing Gloin a large grin and conspicuously counting out his new coins.

They would be staying in the small town of Bree for that night before venturing through the wilderness in the morning. Everyone would be staying at an Inn called The Prancing Pony. Rooms were booked for groups of twos or threes. Thorin had shut him down with simply a look before he could even suggest that Leah could stay with him and Fili. It wasn’t fair really. It’s not as if anything would happen anyway, he just wanted her to be close. So Leah was going to be staying in a room with Thorin as he was the only one who wasn’t paired up with anyone.

Once everyone was settled Fili had grabbed Kili and dragged him into town. As it was Leah’s birthday, they needed to find something to get her. So that’s what led them to be hopeless wandering around the shops.

“What do girls even like anyway?” Fili asked the universe.

Kili was looking at various wares around the shop “I don’t even know,” he sighed.

Why was this so hard? Surely they should have found something by now. He knew of things that she liked from her own world but they didn’t exist in this one.

“What about soap? Girls like being clean don’t they” said Fili, as he rifled through a shelf. He brought several bars towards his face to sniff them. Most of them made his nose wrinkle, that suggested they weren’t pleasant.

“That’s not really a birthday present though is it” said Kili, defeat creeping into his voice.

“What about jewellery? I know the dwarrowdams back home go wild for that” suggested Fili “I think I saw a shop down the road that sold some”

“I’ve already made her a bracelet though” Kili said, picking up random pots and boxes. He inspected them briefly before putting them back.

“Yes but that was a courting gift, that’s different” 

Kili’s hand rubbed the back of his neck as an awkward feeling overcame him. “I, erm. I may not have actually told her that it was a courting gift” he said, refusing to look Fili in the eye.

“What?!” Fili gasped “I thought you’d already told her. Does she even know how you feel about her? That she’s your One?”

“No” he whispered forcefully. Kili looked around to make sure that there was no one else around to eavesdrop on his conversation. “I didn’t exactly get the chance to tell her. As soon as I gave her the bracelet I ended up back here”

Fili’s expression softened at his words “Well you have to tell her now”

“Yeah I’m working on it. Thorin’s not exactly making it easy, I’m not even allowed to be alone with her” he grumbled.

* * *

 

They had left that shop pretty soon after that. On a whim they wandered into the one next door. It turned out to sell outdoor clothing, such as boots, gloves and cloaks. This one seemed more promising than the last shop. Kili dismissed the boots straight away, he had no idea which ones would fit her. She had such small feet after all. It’s a miracle she could stand without falling over. Gloves were a maybe but it wasn’t exactly the weather for it right now. He was still debating when he came across a cloak. It was a deep blue in colour. There were floral, organic shapes were embroidered into the cloak in gold. The material was treated so that it wouldn’t soak in the rain. Now this one had potential.

Kili held it out in front of him. It wasn’t too large and it probably wouldn’t drag on the floor. This cloak would cover her better than the coat she currently wore. And it was pretty, like her. He’d seen her spin around in circles before, to make a dress flare out. She smiled and got dizzy. It was something he could see her doing with this cloak as well. While still holding it up he swung around to where Fili was standing. 

“What about this?” Kili asked.

Fili put down a pair of gloves he had been trying on and turned around. His eyebrows rose slightly when he saw it. He tilted his head and look at it appreciatively. “It’s perfect”

Turns out Kili had expensive tastes. The cloak cost more than he had first guessed. Though, thanks to their winnings, they managed to pool enough together to buy it. Then the shopkeeper was, very obviously, rushing them out of the shop once they’d bought it. They didn’t like dwarves it seemed. Kili quickly shook off his frustration, already used to it. Dwarves weren’t very liked among the other races. Didn’t make it any less irritating.

Kili was carrying the cloak in his hands. They had planned to surprise her with it later in the evening. That was going to be harder than they planned though. As they turned the corner they saw Leah outside the Prancing Pony. Kili stopped in his tracks and quickly thrust his hands behind his back. Fili, being the helpful brother he was, came and stood directly on his right. Arms touching. That way they could hide the present better.

Leah hadn’t seen them yet. She was too busy smooshing a dog’s face to notice them. Thorin was stood behind her, arms crossed, waiting for her to finish. As they got closer they heard the titillating conversation between Leah and the dog.

“Look at you. So floofy” The dog was living it’s best life, happily panting and accepting all the fuss it was being given “Aren’t you a gorgeous boy. So wise. No don’t lick me” She barely evaded the dogs tongue.

Thorin let out a sigh “I thought you told me that you weren’t a child”

Leah turned to Thorin, her hand still on the dogs face. “You don’t have to be a child to appreciate a dog Thorin”

“If you say so” he said with a small chuckle.

Both of them turned when Fili and Kili got closer. They got raised eyebrows when they walked so close together, hands behind their backs. Once they were too close they had do a weird side shuffle in order to hide the present.

“What are you hiding?” Leah asked with a knowing smile.

“Nothing, we were merely out for a stroll” said Fili.

“But we got tired” said Kili 

“Oh yes, sooo tired”

“Super tired, best be heading inside now”

They backed through the door. Thankfully, no one was coming out so they didn’t run anyone over in the process. Once they were safely out of eye range they turned back around. Both brothers turned to one another and broke into laughter.

“That was close.” said Kili “Do you think she suspected anything?”

“No way, we were too sneaky” said Fili.

* * *

 

**Leah**

Even though I had magically developed horse riding skills, it was still a killer on my legs. They were very much unused to the jostling of a horse. It left me with achy legs and my butt went numb. When I got off the horse, I’d gotten my foot caught in the stirrups and nearly fallen backwards. I was saved by a pair of tattooed hands.

“I thought elves were supposed to be graceful lass” Dwalin said, amusement clear in his voice.

He placed me upright once more. I hastily readjusted my clothes, they had twisted as I fell. “Well I’m not exactly a very good elf” I smiled back.

“That’s probably a good thing lass” he said before leading both of our horses away. There was a stable on the edge of Bree where all our horses would be staying.

It was so weird being in the actual Bree. Thankfully, it wasn’t as grim as the films had made it out to be. Probably helped that it wasn’t pouring with rain and in the dead of night. We were staying at _the_ Prancing Pony. Hopefully, no errant ringwraiths would pass through and try to kill us in the night. I remembered this morning wondering to myself when I’d get to stay in a proper bed again. Turns out it was today. Don’t I look foolish. 

Everyone was staying in groups of 2 or 3. Ori, Nori and Dori were in one room. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were in another. Then Dwalin and Balin. Fili and Kili. Gloin and Oin. Gandalf and Bilbo. That left Thorin and I to share a room. I didn’t mind, I’d spent the past week sleeping next to him. Except this time we would get something comfy to sleep on. Though, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed about not being able to share with Kili. Not that we would be sharing a bed or anything! No, I liked being close to him.

Thorin informed me that under no circumstances was I to wander unaccompanied. After what happened in Rildolach he didn’t want to risk anything else happening to me. You couldn’t really fault that logic I guess. So I spent the rest of the day following anyone who would let me. Fili and Kili swanned off as soon as we arrived so I couldn’t follow them. I spent a bit of time with Bofur and Bifur, as they had decided to stay at the inn. Bombur was resting upstairs, horse riding didn’t agree with him apparently. Ori and Dori joined us at one point too. 

Bifur decided that he wanted to show me something. He revealed a small contraption from his pocket. It was shaped like a bird and there was a little lever to wind it with. When you wound it the wings would move. It was amazing and so detailed. A huge smile spread across my face.

“Did you make this?” I asked.

A string of khuzdul fell from his mouth. He then placed the toy in my hands and motioned for me to have a go.

“Aye he did lass” said Bofur next to him “We’re toy makers ya see. Well Bifur is I’m more of a miner these days”

“It’s amazing” I said, rotating the wings slowly.

“He brought a few things with him. To keep his hands busy”

“Khajima, Khajima tada Khuzsh!” Bifur said, very excitedly. He pointed to the bird in my hand.

“What is he saying?” I asked, turning to Bofur.

“Oh, he says it’s a gift” said Bofur “Consider it a birthday present”

I was so touched, it was such a nice gift and completely unexpected. I thanked Bifur profusely. Even though I had no idea what he was saying back, I assumed he was happy. The way the birds wings flapped reminded me off an origami crane. It gave me the urge to make one. Ori very kindly gave me a piece of paper. He was a little reluctant but then he said he was going to buy more tomorrow anyway. I thanked him and started folding. The paper wasn’t exactly straight so it made it a little untidy. But it still looked mostly good. 

The dwarves gave me weird looks as I folded. Once I was done, I revealed my finished product to them.

“It’s a bird” said Ori in amazement “How did you do that?”

“It’s called origami. The art of folding paper” I said. “But check out the best bit”

Pulling slightly on the crane’s tail, the wings folded inwards. I repeated it a few times to simulate the flapping of wings. All the dwarves were impressed. Bifur, on the other hand, was over the moon. Smiling and clapping his hands. I handed him the paper bird and he studied it intently. Trying it out for himself.

“I don’t think yer getting that back lass” said Bofur.

“It’s fine, I’ve got this bird he can have that one”

* * *

 

Needing some fresh air, I wandered outside the inn. Thorin was leaning against a post outside the door. Staring out into the street. Ever wary. 

“I thought I told you to be accompanied by someone,” he said.

“Yeah, now you’re the one accompanying me,” I said with a small smile

He gave me a long look before letting out a surrendering sigh “Fine”.

We stood in silence for a little bit, just watching the people coming and going. Occasionally, I would see one of the dwarves dipping in and out of buildings. I think Balin and Gloin were sorting out some supplies. Gloin was the go-to haggler among the company. It was as I was looking out into the street that I spotted a large ball of fluff running down the middle of the street. A dog! A great big fluff ball of a dog. If I had to guess, I’d say sheepdog but I’m not sure what kind of dog breeds Middle Earth has.

It stopped it’s mad sprint not far from where I was standing. Panting as if it had just ran a mile. Maybe it had. No one else was paying it any mind so it must be a regular occurrence. I tried to resist but the cuteness called me. Holding my hand out and ducking low, I approached the dog. It sniffed my hand first, tentatively, before head butting it. What then commenced was me happily smushing a dogs face. 

Fili and Kili turned up as I was stroking the dog. They were very clearly hiding something behind their backs and were very bad at hiding it. Thorin and I shared an amused look once they went inside. Not long after, the dog’s owner showed up. He looked like some kind of farmer. 

“Found old eunice have you” He said, the dog had forgotten about me and went to jump on the man. The man rubbed the dogs head “You always want a fuss don’t you”

Eunice, oh I had thought she was a boy. Nevermind. 

“Well we best be off, say bye to your new friend Eunice” The dog barked on command and then followed along after her owner.

* * *

 

All of the company returned to the inn for an evening meal. There were a few people staring at me when I made my way inside. It’s not everyday that you see a short elf with a big group of dwarves. It still made me wary. Though thankfully, I hadn’t overheard anything malicious as of yet. 

I made sure to sit next to Bilbo so that he wouldn’t feel left out. Kili showed up and sat on my other side. Fili then sat opposite us across the table. There was a suspicious something hidden under Kili’s shirt. He didn’t mention it though and just started to dig into his meal. I shook my head and started to eat my own. When I looked up I witnessed Fili and Kili having some kind of non-verbal conversation with only their eyes.

When they saw I was looking they immediately looked in opposite directions. “Are you going to tell me what this is, at some point?” I poked Kili’s shirt. The suspicious item seemed to be soft in nature.

“I am certain that I don’t know what you speak of” said Kili very nonchalantly.

I raised my eyebrows and continued looking straight at him. My expression, clearly unconvinced.

“Fiiiine, you’ve caught us” he said, holding his hands up. “It’s your present”

“You got me a present?” a smile tugged at mouth 

“Of course we did, we said we would” said Fili.

“And is there any reason it had to be under your shirt?” I asked, bemused.

“Subterfuge” said Fili while wiggling his fingers “So you wouldn’t suspect we’d got you anything”

I laughed at that. “You’re subterfuge leaves much to be desired”

Kili then reached under his shirt and removed the item. There was a quick flash of skin as he lifted his shirt. I quickly averted my eyes, hoping that a blush wasn’t showing on my face.

“Happy birthday Leah” Said Kili, as he offered me the item.

It was some kind of dark blue fabric. Was it a blanket? There was a fine gold trim along the edge in a cute floral design. I unfolded it to see the whole thing. It wasn’t a blanket, it was some kind of cape thing. A cloak. 

“Holy shit this is so cool” I squealed.

You have no idea how long I’ve wanted some kind of cape. The aesthetic was just perfect. I mean how much cooler does someone look when they have a billowing cloak trailing behind them.

“So you like it?” Kili asked, uncertainty still in his voice.

“I love it” I reached over and hugged him “Thank you”

“You’re welcome” his hug tightened before he let me lean back.

“Thank you as well Fili” I said once I sat down “Would you like a hug too?”

Fili covered his heart with a hand, a fake gasp falling from his mouth “I would be honoured my lady”

I laughed before going around to the other side of the table and giving him a quick hug. The fact that I was so comfortable around him already made me happy. It would have been awful if Kili’s older brother hadn’t liked me.

Kili helped me to try on the cloak. The hood was massive and could cover my whole face. I guess that would be a good feature to have when it rained. Once it was fully wrapped around, I did a little spin. The cloak billowed out around me, just as I had hoped. Kili’s eyes lit up as I span around.

“I’m glad you like it” said Kili

 I looked like a wizard. Not the Gandalf type. More the Harry Potter type. I lifted one edge of the cloak up to my face so that only my eyes were visible.

“I will teach you to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses” I said in my best Severus Snape impression.

I was met with blank stares and confused smiles. 

“Come on Kili I showed you Harry Potter you should have got that reference” I said giving Kili a nudge.

“If you say so” he laughed, his eyes crinkling with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khajima tada Khuzsh- Gift for friend  
> Tithin ven- Little One  
> Naneth- Mother  
> Ada- Daddy  
> Imnê Bifur zai adshânzu. Abnâmul tada abdakhizu- My name is Bifur, at your service. Nice to meet you.


	17. In a sky full of song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I tried to change the script up a bit so that it wasn't verbatim. Hopefully it still works.

The room I was staying in, thankfully, had a wash basin in it. That meant I could be vaguely clean. In all fairness, I probably should have had a wash at Bilbo’s house but a lot of things happened in a short space of time and I forgot to ask. Thorin, patiently, left the room when I asked him to. Only with a small huff. He told me he would be waiting outside the door. It was a similar arrangement to when I bathed in the river. Though this time, I probably wouldn’t need to shout for danger. Unless some deranged hooligan climbed in through the window, I would be fine.

Picking up my shampoo bar, I inhaled deeply. A small sigh left me at the sweet citrus-y scent. I missed nice smelling things. Most things here were what you’d call ‘earthy’. It wasn’t very often you’d find something as concentrated as this soap. I needed to treasure it while it lasted. The basin was more like a glorified bucket. Slightly larger than one you would use to carry water from a well. I would be able to fit my head in at least. The water in the basin had been warming up by the fire. It was just a bit warmer than body temperature. Miles better than a freezing cold lake. 

I decided to start off with my hair. There were bits of leaves caught in it from the journey. Now there was the task of trying to get my head in the water. In the end, I kneeled down by the basin and leaned forward. Dunking my head in. Sort of like when you only want to wash your hair so you lean over the bath. I’m glad no one else was in the room, it was a rather odd angle to be at. I scrubbed at my hair as well as I could. Little sticks and leaves littered the surface of the water. Wringing my hair, I tried to get as much water out as possible. 

Next I moved onto the rest of my body. Using a cloth that was given to me by Vivni. I’d never actually given it back when I first used it. A little bit of guilt crept in but there wasn’t much I could do about it now. Once my body was clean I decided that it was also a perfect opportunity to wash my clothes. After a week of wilderness, my clean clothes had dwindled to none. I scrubbed at the garments as hard as I could and then left them in front of the fire. The shirt I ended up putting on was Kili’s. It was washed first and was the dryest when I went to get dressed.

When I was finished, I told Thorin and then left the room myself so that he could wash too. He was given fresh water though, don’t worry. I don’t think he would have appreciated second bath water. After both of us were done, I collapsed face first onto my bed. Probably wasn’t the best idea as the mattress was very lumpy and I knocked my nose on the side. Thorin laughed when I gave a muffled “Ow”. Not the soft landing I had been hoping for. Still it was better than sleeping on the ground.

The blanket on the bed was rather scratchy but it served its purpose. It felt good to be able to stretch out on a vaguely flat surface. My back was very grateful. Sleep seemed to come to me very easily that night. Flickers of dreams played through my head. Some nice and others less so. But once I was awake again they all slipped from my memory. 

I was quite rudely awoken by Thorin dropping a steel toe cap boot directly next to my head. The noise and vibrations shocked me into a seating position.

“Welcome to the world of the living” Thorin mused.

My hand was clenched over my chest “Couldn’t you have woken me up in a gentler way” I moaned.

“I tried, it’s not my fault that they didn’t work,” he said “Now get up, we leave within the hour.” 

Turning towards the window, I realised that the sun was barely up. I suppressed a groan. This wasn’t awake time, this was go back to sleep for another two hours time. With slow tired movements, I managed to pull on my boots. Then I had to actually stand up so I could collect all my-now dry- clothes and put them back in my bag. I was too tired to be fancy with it, so I just shoved them in. Creases be damned.

Thorin was waiting for me outside the room as I left. He gave me a brief nod before leading the way downstairs. A majority of the company was already up and sat at the tables. I saw Fili and Kili sat at one end and made my way over. They were talking amongst themselves as they ate-what looked like-porridge. Fili looked up first and smiled when he saw me. I smiled back and gave a small wave. Then his eyes moved lower and he froze. Eyebrows shooting up, then a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“What a lovely tunic you’re wearing Leah” he said with a smirk “There’s just something about it I can’t put my finger on it.” He put his fingers on his chin as if deep in thought “What do you think Kili?”

“Is that, Is that my shirt” he said, looking rather flustered.

Looking down at the shirt my cheeks heated up. Oh yeah, I hadn’t told Kili I’d brought it with me yet.

“...Maybe” I drawled.

“Why do you have it?” Kili asked, a bemused smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

I sat down next to him before answering “You left it at my house, I was going to return it to you”

“Do you often wear the things you’re supposed to return?” Fili smirked.

“Only when it’s a nice shirt” I smiled back. “I can go change and give it you back if you like?” the reluctance in my voice was clear as day. After wearing it for over a month I’d grown quite attached to the garment. It was soft, durable and pretty cute.

“No, no, you can keep it” said Kili. “It can be part of your birthday presents”

“Yay” I said, giving him a small hug “Thank god you said that because I was not going to give it back. You would have had to fight me for it.”

“I would have won” he smirked, confident in his own abilities.

“Not if I played dirty”

Kili leaned in, his gaze drifted over my face before settling on my eyes “I’d like to see you try”

My breath caught in my throat and I felt my whole body heat up. Good lord why does he affect me so badly? I felt myself swallow. Gathering myself together as quickly as I could, I gave my best attempt at a smirk “Bring it on”

* * *

 

Breakfast, as it turned out, was porridge. It was gloopy and tasteless. Not the nicest thing to start my day. I only ate half before giving the rest to Kili. The fact that he could eat this wallpaper paste just fine but he called guacamole ‘wet grass’ just baffled me. Not long after breakfast Thorin told everyone to pack up and meet by the horses. My bag was already packed, albeit a rather shoddy job, but packed all the same.

I walked to the stables with Fili and Kili in tow. The sun just about creeping over the trees. All the horses were already saddled and ready to go. Mithiel was nibbling at the ground when I walked over to her. I gave her nose a little stroke and fed her an apple I’d found. She hastily munched the apple out of my hand. 

“Good girl” I whispered, patting her nose again.

Bits of apple and juice fell out of her mouth as she chewed. A little bit gross but she finished the snack in record time. After she was finished, I climbed into the saddle. Once again I did it completely unaided. The ease was still confusing. However, I was glad it was still there as I did not want to know what it was like to ride a horse when you have no clue what you are doing. The horse would probably run into a tree or something.

Once everyone had arrived, Thorin gave a nod and we all nudged our ponies to follow him. The day followed pretty much like the previous one. We all plodded along after one another. Occasional conversations drifting on the wind. Soon any sign of civilisation disappeared. Not even an errant little cabin in the woods. We were completely surrounded by wilderness. The trees stretched high above us. 

Sometimes the path would narrow or there would be a few sheer ledges that made us have to walk in single file. I may or may not have freaked out a little as I looked over the edge. My confidence in my horse abilities was zero, even if I seemed to be working on autopilot. Thankfully, I didn’t plunge to my death and the horse was calm below me. She was smarter than me, I knew. I needed to give Mithiel more credit, she wasn’t going to let us fall down a hill anytime soon.

As the evening drew closer, Thorin found a spot for us to make camp. The area was reasonably flat so that it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable to sleep on. There wasn’t much cover though so if it rained we would definitely know about it. A small brook also ran through the trees a few metres away from camp. We let the horses have a drink and refilled our own canteens. I was very grateful for my insulated flask, it kept the water nice and cold. Nothing worse than drinking warm water, in my opinion. Well obviously there are worse things but it was nice to not have to drink warm water.

Everyone seemed to have a job to do or at least something to keep them busy. I didn’t really have anything to do. That left me feeling very much like a spare part. Fili and Kili had gone to hunt for some dinner. Bombur and Bofur were starting a fire to cook with. Other people were setting up the camp. Arranging logs and rocks for people to sit on and setting up bed rolls. Balin very kindly offered me my own bedroll. He had bought one for me when we were in Bree. I thanked him profusely as I took the roll out of his hands. This would be so much nicer to sleep on than the ground. My sleeping bag could only do so much, thin as it was. This way I may not have tree roots digging into my back while I tried to sleep.

I was starting to get antsy, I didn’t like just milling about while everyone else did something. In the end, I decided to just ask if people needed help. Most of the camp was already set up so the ones doing that brushed me off and told me that they were fine. Fili and Kili had already gone off somewhere so I couldn’t follow them. That left Bombur to help out with.

When I walked over Bofur was nearly finished setting up a stand to hold up a pot of water over the fire. He was hammering the sticks into the ground to anchor them and prevent them from collapsing into the fire below. Bombur had some type of vegetables in front of him ready for chopping. They looked up when I came over.

“Hello” I waved

“Hello lass, ye alright?” asked Bofur, as he finished the stand.

“I’m bored actually, is there anything I can help with? I like cooking”

“I’m sure my brother would love to have a glamorous assistant” said Bofur “Isn’t that right Bombur?”

Bombur looked up from his ingredients at the mention of his name. “Oh, oh yes. Of course ye can help lass.”

I sat down next to Bombur. He’d laid out a little workstation on a large flat stone. If I didn’t think too hard about the bacteria that was probably lingering on it I’d be okay. Though I think a dwarven immune system is probably hardier than a humans. Also my new Elven one would probably be okay too. I needed to stop worrying. 

Bombur handed me a large knife and half the vegetables. The knife was considerably larger than I was used to but it wasn’t too unwieldy. I helped to peel and chop up all the vegetables. My chopping was slower than Bombur’s as I was being a bit too particular about the size and shape of each diced vegetable. Bombur didn’t seem to mind though. Most of the veg were recognisable. Potatoes, carrots, parsnips. However, there were a few that I had no clue about. Weird tuber like vegetables that Bombur had found earlier that day. I trusted that Bombur knew what it was and that he wasn’t feeding us some poisonous root. 

Just as I had finished with the chopping Fili and Kili strolled into camp. They came baring gifts. Three rabbits and some kind of bird.  The gifts were slapped down in front of me and Bombur. Fili and Kili had big smiles, it was like they were a cat that had brought their family a mouse. I jumped back as the animals landed on the make-shift chopping board.

“Warn a girl before you do that,” I muttered, hand over my chest.

“Sorry Leah” said Kili, then he turned to Bombur “How’s that, is it enough?”

Bombur inspected the animals. They looked like they all died with one shot and most of the meat would be usable. “Aye lads, these will do nicely” said Bombur.

Kili beamed, obviously very proud of himself. I was impressed too, If it was down to me this company would be going hungry. My archery skills weren’t actually that bad, it’s just that I'd only ever shot stationary objects. I wonder if Kili would teach me some archery, I’d have to ask at some point.

Bombur slid one of the rabbits over to me “Right, If ye do that one I’ll do these un’s”

My eyes went wide as I took in the rabbit. It was still vaguely warm and its dead eyes were staring me down. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? In a slightly panicked state, my head swivelled around, looking to anyone for help. 

“Erm Bombur, I’ve never done...this” I gesture to the rabbit with the knife.

“Oh sorry lass” He said “Here I’ll show yer”.

He positioned a rabbit so that it was belly side down. “First ye need to take the feet off”

Bombur cleaved off each of the rabbits feet. They didn’t seem very lucky to me. At Bombur’s expectant look I realised that he wanted me to copy him. Oh God. Don’t be scared Leah, you got this. Sorry Mr. Bunny. I took a deep breath and brought the knife down very hard. The foot was now separated from the body. Woo, I have got this. When I finished the rest Bombur carried on.

“Then ye need to cut by its neck like this” he showed me which direction I needed to cut in. Then he inserted the knife under its skin moving it up and down across the rabbit’s back.

I tried to copy what he did. It’s a lot easier to cut up meat when it doesn’t have a face and cute, fluffy ears though. Steeling myself, I managed to do it. Albeit a rather mediocre job. Bombur helped me when I slipped up. Next Bombur grabbed the skin at the neck and just pulled. Surely the skin wasn’t supposed to come off that easily. How did the rabbit survive? Anyway, I tried to copy what Bombur did. It was harder than he made it look but I managed to get it off. Fuck yeah.

“Just call me Bear Grylls” I whispered to myself.

“What is a Bear Grill?” asked Bofur, a confused smile on his face.

“Nothing,” I shook my head.

I let Bombur gut the rabbits. No way was I going anywhere near that. Skinning a rabbit was enough for me for one day. Leaving Bombur to the rest, I went to go and wash my hands in the brook. Ew, my hands felt gross. The water was cold against my skin as I scrubbed. I also made sure to get everything out from underneath my nails. 

By the time I returned, it was time to finally make the stew. Bombur had some skills. He was better with food timings than I would ever be. So when the stew was actually finished everything was perfectly cooked. Bombur let me have the first bowl as a thank you for helping him. I took it readily and had to stop myself from just gorging the whole thing. Patience is a virtue and I’d rather not have a burned mouth from being overzealous with the soup. It was worth the wait though. The soup was delicious. There was a lot of slurping noises and not much conversation as everyone ate around the fire.

“Hey lass”

I looked up from my bowl to see who had spoken. Dwalin was sitting across from me. His bowl was now finished with and put down in front of him.

“Thorin’s asked me to train ye so when ye finished go over there” I pointed to flat section of ground across the field. Far enough away so as not to disturb other people but close enough to be seen.

“Okay, thank you” I didn’t really know what else to say.

Dwalin merely grunted in reply and made to get up. Walking off the field behind us.

* * *

I finished up my soup and handed the bowl back to Bombur. Getting my sword would probably be a good idea. It was more than likely that Dwalin would want to do some sword fighting. The sword in question was currently in a pile by my bedroll. Kili appeared at my side when I went over to it.

“Would you like some company?” he said “I’m sure Dwalin wouldn’t mind”

“Yes please” It would be a lot easier if I wasn’t the only one there. The more people than just me to face Dwalins scrutiny the better.

Fili tagged along as we made our way over to Dwalin. The dwarf in question was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.

“I thought I was training the lass” Dwalin raised an eyebrow.

“We thought we could help” said Fili cheerfully behind me.

“Fine” Dwalin sighed “The more the merrier I guess”

Dwalin had us warm up first. Some jogging and some stretches. The worst was the push ups. My arms weren’t designed for push ups, they just collapsed below me. Though I did manage to do more than I usually could. Elf strength got my back. The dwarves laughed at my sorry attempts though. Fili and Kili attempted to do a competition between the two of them of who could do the most. Dwalin interfered before they got to 30.

Then, as I had guessed earlier, Dwalin wanted to train me with a sword. So I went and picked up my sword from where I’d left it, by a tree. When I came back, Dwalin took the sword out of my hands. He inspected the scabbard before removing it and looking at the blade.

“This is a fine blade lass, dwarven made” Dwalin muttered “Where did ye get it from?”

“There were some dwarves in Rildolach that helped me when I arrived here. This was made by a dwarf called Mani” I said.

A mild shock covered the faces of all three dwarves.

“You managed to get a dwarf to forge an elf a sword?” said Fili in disbelief “Blimey”

“Well it’s definitely yer sword lass” Dwalin held out the sword towards me, pommel first “It’s got yer name carved into it”

What? I peered down to where Dwalin was pointing. The runes along the handle. 

“That one there says Leah” then he pointed to another words “The others are protection runes” It was really cool to see my name written in Khuzdul. 

I took the sword back off of Dwalin. Then began the lesson. He taught me where to place my feet first. Fortunately, I remembered some of the things Kili had taught me so I wasn’t completely useless. Dwalin was a more confident teacher than Kili was. Which was understandable, Kili himself said that he’d never tried to teach someone before. Dwalin had me doing drills with my sword. He’d make sure I’d got my swing down before he’d try me against another sword. Fili and Kili jumped in and sparred along with me. When we were finished, my arms were shaking. I plonked down onto the ground with a groan.

“Not bad fer yer first lesson lass” said Dwalin

He handed me a canteen of water. I could see that there were tattoos on his hands as well. Geometric, dwarven designs and Khuzdul runes. When I finished drinking, I gathered my courage and asked him about them.

“Do your tattoos mean anything?” I asked in a quiet voice. Hopefully, I wasn’t overstepping and asking something too personal.

Dwalin looked down at his hands before looking back at me “Aye, I earned them from battles”

“So you have to earn tattoos?”

“Aye”

“That’s a lot different than where I’m from.” I mused “Anyone can get a tattoo for any reason”

Fili was sat leaning against a tree not too far from where I’d sat. “So do you have any then?” he asked, curious.

“I do...” I said, not sure how much I should reveal.

I saw Kili perk up. He knew exactly why I was being reluctant. Having Erebor on your thigh would probably raise more than a few eyebrows. But that wasn’t my only tattoo. I could show them some of my others. Lifting up my left trouser leg, I showed off my ankle. There was a little bow and arrow tattooed there.

“This was my first tattoo. There was a friday the 13th event where a selection of designs were only £13. This one called out to me from all the other designs” I rambled, They wouldn’t know what friday 13th was but it didn’t matter.

“This one was from a similar event” I lifted the other trouser leg up and showed them a planet and stars on my other ankle.

Then I lifted the trouser leg over my knee to reveal my calf. “This is an Aegishjalmur it’s like an old norse symbol for protection”

It looked like the spokes of a wheel with half moons attached to the ends. There was a serpent tattooed around the edge. A deep red in colour. I could see the dwarves marveling at the colours. They probably didn’t get different coloured ink here. 

Next was my other calf. There was a very detailed tree with branches set on fire. Around the outside, in a circle, were lyrics to a Hozier song. ‘I’d wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies’. It was my most recent tattoo and was therefore the brightest. It was also my most detailed one.

“Wow it’s so lifelike” I heard Fili mutter.

I put my trouser legs back down. “And I do have one other one but you’ll never see it” I smirked at him.

“Well now I want to know even more” he smirked back.

“Tough” 

I thought that would be the end of it but Kili had to open his big mouth.

“She has the Lonely Mountain tattooed on her thigh” he said, very self-assuredly. He took a big sip from his canteen, I could see the mischief in his eyes.

“Kili!” I exclaimed “You little shit”

I could feel my face heat up instantly. This wasn’t what I needed right now. Oh god, I don’t even know what I’d say if they got offended by it. Dwalin turned to look at Kili, an accusatory look in his eye. He folded his arms and stared directly into Kili’s eyes. Kili visibly gulped. I was just glad the attention wasn’t on me.

“And why, Laddie, would ye know what her thighs look like?” each word was enunciated to make them impact harder “Is this something I need to be talking to yer Uncle about?”

Kili instantly reddened. His reply came out in panicked stutters. “What? No, no. It’s not like that”

Fili was laughing his ass off next to me. Clearly loving every second of this. Dwalin then raised his eyebrows and started to turn, as if making his way back to camp.

“No, no please Dwalin don’t tell Thorin,”Kili pleaded.

It was nice to see karma happen so quickly but I needed to put the poor boy out of his misery. “It’s nothing bad, Dwalin. Where I’m from it’s normal for girls to wear shorts in the summer. People don’t really care about girls showing off their legs”

Dwalin appeared a bit surprised by my revelation but seemed to take it as the truth. Now that Dwalin’s mind was out of the gutter he told Kili that Thorin wouldn’t need to know. Whether he kept that promise was another question. Dwalin walked back to camp and left us to our own devices. Fili just about stopped laughing. He wiped a tear from his eye and patted his brother on the back.

“Next time try not to be a smartass, you idiot” I said lovingly.

* * *

We all went back to camp after that. I had positioned my bedroll next to Fili and Kili’s. When I looked out of the corner of my eyes I could see Thorin glancing over disapprovingly. Thorin could probably sense how much I liked Kili. Maybe he wasn’t approving of it. The guy needed to chill a bit. It’s not like I was gonna do anything in the night. I hadn’t even told Kili I liked him yet. 

Kneeling down by my bag I attempted to find my toiletries amongst the havoc. I really should have packed this better earlier. My rummaging proved too rigorous as half of the contents of my bag came tumbling out. Also, to make matters worse, my toiletries bag wasn’t closed. So now all of that was strewn across the ground too. I groaned and looked skywards. Seriously.

Just as I was about to shove everything back in my bag, I saw a nimble pair of hands rifle through some of the stuff.

“What is this stuff anyway?” said Nori, he had a deodorant stick in one hand and in the other…

“Oh my god Nori put that down” I spoke forcefully. The sneaky dwarf had chosen the worst object to pick up. The Diva Cup that Anika had found for me. It was brand new and unused but that didn’t mean I wanted Nori to be holding it.

“Why what does it do?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“It goes in a vagina Nori” I said, very matter-of-factly. Emphasising the word vagina to make him uncomfortable. “Don’t worry though it’s never been used”

Nori’s face immediately paled. He opened his hand and the cup tumbled out. It was actually pretty funny.

“I’m so sorry” and then he was gone. Ran off somewhere into the trees.

I let a few giggles escape my mouth at his antics. The camp had gone silent and when I looked around everyone conveniently had somewhere else to look. Guys needed to chill about periods, it’s not like it’s a disease.

“For God's sake” I muttered to myself. Then I went to pack everything back up. It was neater this time and everything managed to fit in. Something niggled at the back of my mind when I picked the diva cup back up. It was unused. But it really should have been necessary by now. I don’t just think it was because of stress though. Maybe elves were different. Did they have like one period a year or something. The uncertainty of my new body made me nervous. I should probably ask someone about it. But who? It’s not like anyone here is an expert in elf anatomy. Well, Gandalf might be able to help.

I dreaded asking him though. It would be like asking your grandad about puberty. However, he was the only person that I thought could help. I packed the remaining items in my bag before standing up. Gandalf was sitting a little further away than everyone else. Happily smoking his pipe. There was an amused look in his eyes when I sat down next to him.

“It would appear that you’ve managed to make the company rather embarrassed” said Gandalf, looking around at the dwarves

“You’d think it would be harder but I only had to say one word” I chuckled, shaking my head.

“Is there something you need my dear?” he turned back to me.

“Nope” I said chickening out “Just want to sit with my old pal Gandalf”

Gandalf raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying what I was saying.

“Fine, I need to ask you about elf stuff. You seem to know a lot about them” I muttered.

“What would you like to know?” said Gandalf, before taking a big inhale from his pipe.

“Do female elves have…” what word should I use? “er, cycles. Because I haven’t had one since I got turned into one”

I could feel my face reddening as I spoke. I knew this shouldn’t really be an embarrassing subject but of course it was. Here I was asking an old man advice about periods. Well not even an old man, this guy was like a deity at one point. He was a Maiar, a thing that literally shaped this world. Now he’s here teaching me about Elven periods. Oh what a life he’s lived.

“I don’t imagine you would have done my dear. Elleths, unlike other races, don’t have a cycle”

“What, like at all? Are they just like always ready to be pregnant or something?” 

“Elves have a will that decides whether a child will form. If they don’t want a child or they don’t think it’s a good time to have one then a child won’t form” Said Gandalf.

That’s like the ultimate contraception. Like ‘I don’t want a child so a child won’t happen’. If only human biology was that simple. A lot less problems would arise.

“Weeeird” was all I said in reply.

* * *

_ He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here. This garden had been forbidden to all for over 1500 years. Well it wasn’t much of a garden anymore. No life ever grew there. Whatever was planted died almost immediately. However, he still sometimes came here. To think. To cry. Whatever. The place gave him some perspective. On life. On the cruelties of the world.  _

_ Normally he would simply stand in the middle of it. Surrounded by death and decay. His thoughts would drift, often to unsavoury spaces. But this was one of the only places he allowed himself to do that. The only place he knew he’d be truly alone. The only living thing. _

_ But tonight he wasn’t the only living thing. A single shoot, green and full of life, was there. Right in the middle of the garden. Where he usually stood. Bathing in the early morning sun. Alive. A plant had grown after so long of nothing. _

_ He nearly fell over when he saw it. Too overcome with a nameless emotion. For a second he couldn’t even breath. What did it mean?  _

* * *

The next few days played out pretty much the same. We trekked through sprawling landscapes and rested in the evening. I helped out Bombur with his cooking each night as well. He was happy for the help. Also, I had convinced Kili to teach me some archery. He told me that he would show me after my training with Dwalin. The training with Dwalin was getting harder as he pushed me to try new things. I nearly squealed in excitement when I successfully parried for the first time. Cool elven warrior here I come.

After I finished up with Dwalin, I made my way over to Kili. It was just us two by a copse of trees. I could see Kili occasionally making nervous glances back towards camp. When I turned to look I could see Thorin looking over. The guy is a mother hen, I swear. We’d just have to ignore him. 

Kili handed me his bow. It was a deep mahogany colour with dwarven designs etched into the wood. There was a decent weight to it and I could tell that it was good quality.

“It was my Adad’s” Kili said, as I inspected it. “He taught me to use it when I grew an interest in archery”

The image of an older dwarf teaching young Kili how to shoot a bow warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face.

“Right, you need to hold it like this” Kili guided my hands so that I was holding the bow properly. It was the same way I’d been taught previously from outdoor camp instructors, which was a good thing.

He handed me and arrow and showed me how to nock it. Now this was a lot different than the practice arrows with foam fletching. I also had to tilt the bow to the right slightly so the arrow wouldn’t slip down.

“Now draw the string up to your cheek and keep your elbow up” instructed Kili.

I did what he said. My arms strained under the pressure of the bow string. A lot of strength was required to draw back the bow string. Just as I was about to fire, my mind was assaulted by more random visions.

_ The arrow had shot out of my bow. Flying artfully through the air. Until it completely missed the target and embedded itself into a tree instead. My bottom lip pushed out into a pout. Why couldn’t I get this right? _

_ “You know you’re supposed to hit the target, right Li?” _

_ I turned to the side to see my brother standing next to me. A stupid smug grin on his face. He’d hit the target twice now and I’d managed to miss all of them. It wasn’t fair. _

_ “Oh shut up, Lassie” Lassie was a new word I had learned and I knew it drove my brother mad when I called him it. _

_ My brothers face scrunched up with annoyance “I’m not a Lassie. I’m an Ellon. Nana tell her” _

_ Nana must have appeared when I wasn’t looking. She was now standing behind me with her arms crossed and giving me a ‘look’ _

_ “Liriel, what have I told you about annoying your brother?” said Nana. _

_ I looked down still pouting “Not to” I muttered. “But he started it” _

The shock of the sudden vision made my hand slip and the arrow careened off into the trees. My heart was beating so loud I could hear it in my ears. I turned, wide eyed back to Kili.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know…” I trailed off.

Kili could see my distress and reached up to comfort me. His hands were on my shoulders, making me look at him. “Hey it’s okay, it’s okay”

“What just happened? you seemed fine and then you started panicking” Asked Kili, his eyes brimming with concern.

“I don’t know it just keeps happening”

“What keeps happening, Leah?” he implored “Tell me, please”

I took a deep breath to steady my heart. “I keep seeing things. Like memories, but they aren’t mine. But it feels like they are it’s confusing” I buried my head in my hands.

“What do you mean?” Kili asked, trying to take my hands from my face.

“The other day when I first got the horse I got a weird vision thing. It was a memory of my dad teaching me how to ride a horse. But my dad had never taught me how to ride a horse and for some reason I can now somehow ride a horse” I said the word horse way to much in such a short space of time.

“And then it just happened again. I saw me and my brother shooting arrows. We looked about 5 or something. We were both arguing with each other” I smiled, thinking about it “I know it never happened but at the same time it felt so real. And in all of them my family had pointy ears. They were all elves like me. I feel like I’m going mad”

Kili grabbed my face with both hands. “You are not mad. We’ll figure this out don’t worry”

* * *

The archery lesson didn’t really pan out after that. I was too busy slowly losing my mind. Kili took me back to camp and sat me down near the fire. He told me that I should tell Gandalf at some point. I would, but right now I just wanted to ignore it. Kili sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulder comfortingly. Dori saw that I was looking a bit down and offered me some chamomile tea. I took the drink graciously, happy it’s soothing qualities. It was a little bitter without sugar but it was still nice. 

Everyone seemed a bit more lively around the fire that night. Talking animatedly and telling each other stories. At one point Bofur had broken out into a drinking song, even though the hardest liquid we had was water. No one seemed to mind though and sang along with him. He raised his water skin in the air dramatically when he had finished.

“Are there any drinking songs from yer world lass?” asked Bofur.

“Yeah, of course”

“You should sing us one then” said Bofur excitedly.

Other dwarves mumbled in agreement. I felt a bit put on the spot. Which song could I remember the most that also wasn’t completely inappropriate?

“Okay I’ve got one”

 

_ What will we do with a drunken sailor? _

_ What will we do with a drunken sailor? _

_ What will we do with a drunken sailor? _

_ Early in the mornin'? _

 

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Early in the mornin'! _

 

_ Put 'em in the scuppers with a hose pipe on 'im _

_ Put 'em in the scuppers with a hose pipe on 'im _

_ Put 'em in the scuppers with a hose pipe on 'im _

_ Early in the mornin'! _

 

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Early in the mornin'! _

 

_ Put him in the brig until he's sober _

_ Put him in the brig until he's sober _

_ Put him in the brig until he's sober _

_ Early in the mornin'! _

 

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Weigh-hay and up she rises _

_ Early in the mornin'! _

It was nerve wracking being the only one singing from the group but everyone seemed to enjoy it. They cheered when I finished it.

“Anyone else got one?” I asked “What about you Bilbo, I’m sure the hobbits have some good songs”

Bilbo looked slightly panicked at everyone’s attention “Er no, no. I don’t have any songs. I can’t think of any”

“Oh come on Bilbo” I went over and sat down next to him. “What about this one?” I nudged him with my arm.

_ Oh you can search far and wide, _

_ You can drink the whole town dry, _

His eyes lit up as he recognised the song I was singing. After a few beats he shyly started to join in.

_ But you'll never find a beer so brown, _

 

_ Oh you'll never find a beer so brown, _

 

_ As the one we drink in our hometown, _

_ As the one we drink in our hometown. _

_ You can drink your fancy ales, _

_ You can drink them by the flagon, _

_ But the only brew for the brave and true... _

_..Comes from the Green Dragon!!" _

 Bilbo’s confidence increased the more he sang. Once the song finished he immediately carried on into a different song.

_ Hey Ho to the bottle I go _

_ To heal my heart and drown my woe _

_ Rain may fall and wind may blow but there'll still be _

_ Many miles to go _

 

_ Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain, _

_ And the stream that falls from hill to plain. _

_ Better than rain or rippling brook, _

_ Is a mug of beer inside this Took. _

Bilbo held a fist over his heart when he finished his solo. Anxiety seemed to creep in once he had stopped singing and I saw him start fidgeting with his ears and wiggling his nose.

I cheered and clapped when he finished along with many other dwarves. Even Thorin had a smile on his face when he looked at Bilbo.

* * *

The next night we made camp at the top of a rocky outcrop. A forest stretched out below us, shrouded in shadow. Quite ominous indeed. The ponies had to be hitched securely so they didn’t wander over the edge in the night. I sat next to Kili by a large rock face. It felt good to lean my back against something. There wasn’t any training tonight as there wasn’t enough room for us to do anything. So that left me some time to simply chill.

Bilbo wandered over to his pony. Looking very conspicuous and obviously hiding something in his hand. It turned out to be an apple that he must have hoarded. Something niggled at the back of my mind at the gesture. This felt familiar. If I was correct in guessing there would be a…

A sharp, guttural screech split through the otherwise silent night.

…And there it was. The sound sent all my nerve endings on edge. Hairs on the back of neck raised up and my heart rate increased. If I was reacting this way to the mere sound of an orc god knows how I’ll react when I actually see one.

Bilbo was also very alarmed and quickly came over to us. “What was that?”

“Orcs” said Kili, a strong urgency in his voice. His eyes darted around trying to find the source of the noise. When his hand drifted towards his bow, I reached out and took it instead. With a small smile I assured him that we were okay. No orc attacks tonight. He visibly relaxed. Shoulders slumping back down.

“Orcs?” asked Bilbo

“They steal into campsites at night, killing as they go” said Fili. He gave Kili an odd look when he realised that his brother wasn’t playing along with his joke.

“Do you think an orc attack is something to make light of?” said Thorin, suddenly behind Bilbo. He must have heard us talking to Bilbo.

Fili’s eyes widened and he shook his head “No Uncle. Of course not”

Thorin shook his head his jaw was tight. “you need to learn more about the world,” he said as he turned to walk away.

Fili shrank beneath Thorin’s disappointment.

Balin walked over to us, ready to comfort Fili. “Don’t be too down laddie. There are more reasons for your uncle to hate orcs than most. After the mountain was lost King Thror tried to reclaim the kingdom of Moria. But we were too slow and our enemy had gotten to it first. A huge legion of orcs with a vile leader. Azog the defiler”

Kili flinched at the name. God knows what was going through his head. He knew what that orc could accomplish if he wasn’t stopped. My hand was still in Kili’s so I squeezed. To show that I was there for him.

“A Gundabad Orc dead set on ending the line of Durin. The first thing he did was beheading the King”

Shocked gasps ran through the camp. It was rather odd as you would assume that most of them knew this. Unless the King being beheaded wasn’t common knowledge. They may only know that the King fell in battle.

“Thrain, your grandfather, was driven mad by grief. He went missing and no one knew if he was taken prisoner or killed”

I inhaled sharply, eyes widening. Thrain was alive. He was being held prisoner in Dol Guldur by the Necromancer. A.K.A Sauron. His ring of power had been stolen and he was slowly going mad. Could I help? Find a way to get him out? Gandalf nearly helped him in the movie. Perhaps if he was pre warned about Thrain he could get him out. Save him. My mind spun trying to think about it.

Balin was still talking while I was stuck in my thoughts “Thorin stood alone against the pale orc with no armour and only an oaken branch as a shield. Our army rallied and drove all the orcs back. And the enemy was defeated. But no songs were sung that night for our grief was too great. Only us few had survived. I thought to myself,  that there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call king”

Balin’s big speech was over and all eyes were on Thorin. He held his head up, still looking regal despite all the stares. It hurt to think of all that Thorin had lost.

“What happened to Azog?” asked Bilbo, the only one brave enough to say anything in that moment.

“That filth succumbed to his wounds long ago” said Thorin, turning back away from everyone.

Kili and I shared a knowing look.

* * *

Nearly two weeks had gone by since we left Bilbo’s house. I tried to keep my spirits up but I couldn’t help the occasional bout of misery. It didn’t help the heavens had opened up and had barely stopped for several days. I was cold, I was wet and I was miserable. The cloak Fili and Kili had bought me was being thrown into the deep end. Almost literally, with how much water was falling on us. Fortunately, things in this world were built to last and the cloak was doing its job.

Sleeping in this weather was awful. We couldn’t always find a camp with adequate shelter which meant that the rain fell on you all through the night. It also made it almost impossible to get a real fire going. So that left me trying to curl up in my sleeping bag with the front pulled taut. That way only my nose poke out of the front. Kili wouldn’t stop laughing everytime he looked over at me. He told me that I looked like a sad worm. Rude. 

My dreams were getting worse. If they weren’t nightmares, then they were those weird not-memory things. Often they would just be scenes of day to day life. Hanging out with my brother, annoying him constantly. Or my parents teaching me something. Like reading and dancing. It would all be normal if they weren’t all elves in the dreams. Weirdly, it would be easier if they were someone else’s memories that I was getting for some reason. But I couldn’t even say that because all the ones I was getting included my real family members. Nothing made sense. 

One time I woke up and I was still half asleep. Kili was sitting next to me. Already awake. I gave him a sleepy smile and said “Man erin, cin post eithel?” 

In my mind I was simply saying good morning and asking if he slept well. Kili’s eyebrows drew together and a confused smile spread across his face. “What was that?”

“I said good morning and did you sleep well” I rubbed my eyes feeling more awake.

“You most certainly did not” Kili laughed “That was gibberish”

A crease formed between my eyebrows. I was certain that, that was what I’d said.

“It was not gibberish Kili she was asking you in Sindarin” said Gandalf, sitting a few feet away. He was giving me quite a perplexed look. 

“What? But I don’t know Sindarin” Sindarin was an elf language. Just because I got turned into one shouldn’t mean that I could now speak it.

“It would seem some part of your mind does” he said. His quizzical gaze never leaving me.

My cheeks heated up under his stares and I broke eye contact. I still hadn’t told him about the visions. There never seemed to be a good time to tell him. He was always surrounded by someone and I didn’t want to ask about them with someone else there. I was a coward basically. Not wanting to know that I was actually going crazy or not.

So that led me to be miserably plodding along on my horse. Kili tried to cheer me up as much as possible but he could only do so much. The other members of the company also seemed to be at their wits end with the elements. Poor Bilbo didn’t even have a hood. You’d think he would have brought a better coat considering he’d packed the night before. Though it seemed that Bilbo hadn’t known what were the best items to take with him on an adventure.

“Gandalf is there anything you can do about this infernal weather?” asked a very sodden Dori.

“The rain will continue until it is done Master dwarf. If you want someone who can control the weather of this world you must consult another wizard” said Gandalf, clearly annoyed by the question.

“Are there other wizards?” Bilbo asked, his interest piqued.

Gandalf turned to gaze at Bilbo before answering “Yes, there are. Five of us in total. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White”

My nose crinkled and my lips turned downwards at the mention of Saruman’s name. He might not be an arsehole yet but give it 60 years and he’ll be a grade A prick.

“Then there are the two Blue Wizards,” Gandalf continued “Though I cannot recall their names”

Seriously, there were only five of them how could you forget their names. “Alatar and Pallando” I added, helpfully. “They help with problems in the East”

Gandalf’s eyes lit up with the information. “Oh yes, yes. You’re quite right my dear. That is their names, I remember now. Good to hear that they are still being helpful” he smiled “Yes and the final Wizard is Radagast the Brown”

“Is he a good wizard?” asked Bilbo. He blinked rapidly as a drop of water splashed into his eye.

“I believe he is a great one. Though he prefers the company of animals to other races. He protects a great forest to the east. A good thing too as Evil is always trying to find a foothold in this world”

Thankfully, the rain finally eased off as it got closer to evening. Finally being vaguely dry, after being soaked for so long, felt nice. We followed a small path until we came to an open field. Everyone began hopping off their ponies, ready to make camp for the night. However, instead of following suit, my hands tightened on the reigns. The ruins of a small farm house were situated at the end of the field. I knew what that meant.

Fucking Trolls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunken Sailor- Sean Dagher  
> The other two are hobbit drinking songs from Tolkien.
> 
> The next chapter is going to be action packed :)


	18. From this mortal shell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should listen to the song Doomed by Moses Sumney when it gets to the part where the orcs are chasing them and Gandalf tells them to jump down the hole if you want to get real spicy with it.

Why did we have to deal with the trolls so soon? I’d want to avoid it altogether but I knew that we couldn’t do that. Without the trolls they wouldn’t know about the troll hoard. And without the troll hoard they would never find Glamdring, Sting or Orcrist. I dreaded to think what would happen if they weren’t found. Not just for this journey but future ones as well. Thorin would still need to be warned. He would not be happy if he found out that I had held this back from him. If I wanted to save him he would need to trust me.

It took Kili shaking my leg to realise that I was the only one still on my horse. Everyone else was setting up camp while I had been lost in my thoughts. Crap, I needed to tell Thorin before everyone settled down for the night. Hastily, I climbed down from my horse. Nearly getting my foot caught in the stirrup in my hurry. I heard Kili trying to say something to me but I was too busy jogging forward to hear it.

Thorin and Gandalf had been talking in the ruins of the farm house when I climbed off the horse. However, once I worked my way around the camp, there was only Thorin standing alone. His teeth gritted in a grimace.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit” I muttered as I jogged over to Thorin. Searching the horizon for the errant wizard. He was nowhere to be found. There goes Gandalf’s help.

Thorin looked at me with a hard stare, arms folded across his chest. “What seems to be the problem, Leah?”

“Where’s Gandalf?” I asked, already knowing the answer. My voice was a little high pitched.

Thorin scoffed “Oh he’s wandered into the woods somewhere” he pointed towards the trees “Pay him no heed” Thorin waved his hand dismissively.

“We need him.” I said, bringing up my hands to my face.

Thorin uncrossed his arms. His demeanor changing from unbothered to wary. “Why would we need him? What do you know?”

I took a deep breath, debating how I would word this. “Our ponies are going to get stolen and we’re going to be attacked by trolls”

“What?! Are you certain of this” 

I nodded “This is how it happened in the story. With the burned out house and Gandalf storming off”

Thorin let out a string of Khuzdul curses. 

“That damnable wizard spoke truth” Thorin spat “We should not make camp here”

Thorin turned as if to make his way back to camp. Quickly, I put my hands out to stop. “No, no we can’t leave”

Thorin’s eyebrows drew together “You have just told me that Trolls are going to attack our company in the night and yet you want us to remain?” Thorin’s tone was harsh. “You would put the company in danger?”

“No Thorin it’s not like that” I said hurriedly “Let me explain”

Thorin crossed his arms once more and looked at me expectantly. His demeanor was intimidating even though he was shorter than me. His glare was making my mouth go dry.

“There are things in the troll’s hoard that we desperately need if you want this quest to be successful,” I said.

Thorin’s hard gaze didn’t let up “Things? What manner of things would be worth risking ourselves against these creatures”

“Weapons” I said very quickly “For you, Gandalf and Bilbo. They are some of the best weapons ever forged and will save your life many times over. We have to get them”

If Thorin didn’t have Orcrist then he couldn’t slay Azog. If Bilbo didn’t have Sting then he couldn’t save them from the spiders or warn them about the goblins. Then it would never be passed down to Frodo to help him destroy the ring. We needed those weapons. I looked right into Thorin’s eyes. Imploring him to listen.

Thorin gazed at me for another beat before sighing “If what you speak is true then how do you suggest we obtain these weapons, without harming any members of this company?”

Now that put me on the spot. I hadn’t really had much chance to think it through yet. A smarter person would have come up with a plan days ago. As soon as they knew they were drawing near. But I wasn’t smart and I’d been too busy freaking out about myself to think ahead. Stupid Leah. Bringing both hands up, I rubbed my temples. Maybe that would stimulate my brain and provide me with an answer.

“Right, so, trolls can only come out at night because the sun turns them to stone. That means that they won’t leave their cave until it’s fully night fall.” I pondered, an idea springing forward “Maybe if someone slipped in while they were out they could find the weapons and leave before the trolls even noticed. That way we could hopefully avoid them altogether”

Thorin’s lips pursed as he considered the plan “While that sounds good we don’t actually know where this hoard is”

“We’ll have to look for it I guess” I shrugged

Thorin nodded, still looking deep in thought. “How did this altercation play out in your stories?”

“The ponies were tied up in the forest” I pointed in the general direction of the forest “The trolls stole some and you tried to get them back. But the trolls managed to grab one of you and threatened to kill them if you didn’t drop your weapons. Then they spent too long arguing how to cook you that they don’t realise that the sun has come up and they turn to stone”

“That is something I would rather avoid” his lip curled in disgust.

One second he was leaning against the wall looking out at the company and the next he was standing up straight, arms tense, ready for a fight “A small group will come with me to scope out this cave.” he said “The rest will remain here, and keep a lookout. The ponies will need to be taken out of the forest if we want to protect them.”

My shoulders sagged in relief. Thank god he believed me and we were doing something about it. There was no way I was willingly getting shoved into a sack today.

“I’m risking my company for this Leah. You had better be right” there was a dark tone to his voice and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 

There was a reason he was the leader. He was someone you did not want to wrong or disappoint. I did not want to disappoint him. Let’s be real, I was desperate for him to like me. He was  _ Thorin Oakenshield,  _ managing to get him to like me would be a great achievement. The dwarf King didn’t trust easily. Hopefully, avoiding unnecessary fights with trolls would put me in his good graces.

Thorin strolled out of the ruins with purpose. His first port of call was the hobbit standing a few metres away. He walked straight up to Bilbo and clasped a hand around his shoulder. The large hand nearly covered the whole shoulder. Bilbo looked up, very shocked by the sudden contact. Eyes staring into Thorin’s, questioningly. A red hue spreading across his cheeks.

“Come Master Baggin’s it seems your burglary skills need to be put to the test” said Thorin.

I saw Bilbo visibly gulp.

* * *

The small scouting party ended up consisting of Thorin, Bilbo and Dwalin. The other dwarves protested at being left out but Thorin told them that this mission required stealth so the less who went the better. He placated them by telling them that they too had an important job to do. Everyone who stayed must remain watchful and protect the ponies. If they found the trolls they were not to engage unless absolutely necessary.

The horses were brought out of the forest and hitched up a little way away from the trees. That way we would be able to tell if a random huge troll hand nabbed one. Everyone was on edge. Hands inching towards their weapons at the slightest provocation, the slightest sound. Some didn’t really believe me about the presence of trolls but they trusted their leader. The troll hoard gang had to wait until night had fallen before they could scope out. They didn’t want to go to early and risk running into the trolls as they were leaving their cave. Instead they would give them plenty of time to vacate the premises before breaking in. 

That meant that they could at least have some food before they set off. Dwalin happily scoffed down two bowls of soup and some dried meat. The idea of a battle not fazing him. At least not visibly anyway. He was a seasoned warrior after all. Thorin slowly got through his bowl. Each bite was careful and his gaze was constantly aware of his surroundings. Bilbo, the poor guy, hadn’t eaten a thing. The concept of burgling from trolls didn’t seem to sit well with the hobbit. Well he wasn’t sitting well in general. He wouldn’t stop fidgeting or changing his seating position. Never being able to sit still for too long. Too pent up with nervous energy. They left soon after they finished eating.

Kili refused to leave my side as soon as he found out about the trolls. I could tell he was torn between wanting to follow his uncle and making sure I was safe. Seeing as he couldn’t do the former, he took to sticking to my side like glue.

“You should have told me that there would be trolls” Kili grabbed my shoulder, looking a little hurt.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled, looking at the ground “My mind’s been all over the place recently and it slipped my mind until Gandalf stormed off” 

Kili’s eyes softened at my words “It’s okay. Just please warn me next time something dangerous is going to happen”

“If I did that I’d never stop talking” I said with a small smile.

“That isn’t very comforting at all” Kili let out a small laugh all the same.

His grip on my shoulder was a comforting weight. I was full of nervous energy just thinking about the troll situation. It made me not want to stay still for very long. So I took to pacing around the camp. Just looking for things to do to take my mind off of it. Kili could see the struggle my mind was in and offered himself up as a distraction for me. He said that sparring might help me to keep my thoughts from drifting. We ended up moving towards the edge of camp so that we weren’t in anyone’s way. Close to the ponies. The rest of the camp could still see us though. It wouldn’t do well for us to suddenly disappear from view right now. Not when everyone was on such high alert.

“We probably shouldn’t spar with our swords right now” said Kili once we reached the edge of camp “It wouldn’t do well for us to get injured if we’re needed to fight a troll”

“That’s fair enough” 

Dwalin had been teaching us some hand-to-hand combat as well. I wasn’t the best at it but I was learning. It didn’t help that the people I was sparring against had like 60+ more years of practice than I did. Still, I tried my best and I was beginning to hold my own. Even if I ended up on the floor more times than not.

Kili told me that I didn’t need to go soft on him. Even though I knew for a fact that he was going easy on me. It probably wouldn’t take much effort for him to flatten me if he put his mind to it. We started off with some gentle sparring. Occasionally Kili would stop me to correct a move that I’d tried. That happened more than I liked. I was trying but it was hard to remember where your elbows or knees were supposed to go while you were mid-fight.

I landed a few hits and I started to gain in confidence. Kili was smiling at me, enjoying me fighting with him. Then I noticed that his left side was exposed. Being overconfident I decided to go for it and attempt to land a kick. My right leg swung out towards Kili’s left side. Kili stepped away from the direction of my kick and I felt his arm loop around my leg. He held it close, refusing to let go. Even when I tried to pull it free. It left me hopping on my only remaining leg. The biggest smirk was stretched across Kili’s face. Clearly he was finding this amusing.

“What did Dwalin say about kicks?” he asked, the mirth clear in his voice.

“I don’t know” I said still hopping “Give me my leg back”

Instead of giving my leg back he simply smiled wider. Showing his teeth. Then, with my leg still in his hand, he pushed forward. The momentum finally knocked me off balance and I ended up sprawled on my back. I’m embarrassed to say a very high pitched squeak escaped my body.

“Dwalin told you that you need to bring your leg back faster after you kick. Or you will be left exposed and someone could grab your leg. Like this” He wiggled my leg. A self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“Oh yes I remember now,” I said in a flat voice “Can I have my leg back now?”

“Not yet, I quite like you where you are” he leaned closer, I could feel his body against my leg.

A deep blush formed across my face. “What if I kick you with the other one?” I asked while lifting my other leg up. I couldn’t exactly get much momentum from where I was so it was a very sorry excuse for a kick. He easily caught the leg in his other arm and I let out a groan of frustration.

“You’re not very good at this are you” Kili raised an eyebrow.

“I’m throwing you off your rhythm” I said, still trying to get my legs back. The John Mulany quote obviously blew over his head.

“Ah yes, you have shaken me to my core” sarcasm leaked from his voice.

I was feeling very exposed in this current position. Having Kili, literally, standing between my legs wasn’t helping. My thoughts felt like they were running at a hundred miles per hour.

“Shut up” was all I said, a little breathless.

“Did I ever tell you how good you looked in my clothes?” said Kili, his gaze heated.

I felt my breath catch under his gaze, my heart was racing in my chest. Looking down, I could see the blue of my shirt. It had been washed in a river a few days ago and I was wearing it again “No you were too busy blushing I think” I said trying not to let my voice betray me.

Kili’s smirk dropped slightly, then he shook his head “I don’t know what you mean. I’ve never blushed in my life” he finally relinquished my legs.

Finally able to move properly, I sat up. Laughing at Kili’s expression. “So the bright red cheeks were something completely different I’m sure”

“Of course. It was just very warm in the pub.”

“I see” I said still smiling “You looked good in my clothes, it’s only fair that I looked good in yours”

Kili’s brow furrowed “When did I…” his mouth formed an ‘O’ shape “Oh yeah, when I first arrived in your world. I forgot about that”

I was still on the floor when I heard footsteps approaching us. Turning to look, I saw that it was Fili. 

“Do I even want to know what all that was?” he said, gesturing with his hand.

“We were sparring” I said, dragging myself up off the floor

“Is that what you’re calling it?” he smirked “It looked more like  _ fraternizing _ to me”

Fraternizing? What an odd word choice. The way he said it also seemed to be very deliberate. There was probably an inside joke I was missing. Kili didn’t seem to miss it though. A slight red glow now adorned his cheeks.

“I don’t know what you mean brother” said Kili, very dismissively.

Fili merely clapped him on the back and laughed. “Anyway. Balin has told me” he pointed to himself “to tell you” he pointed to us “that we” his hand pointed to both us and him “should check the ponies”

“Probably would have got that even without all the hand gestures my dude” I said.

Considering we had been sparring right next to the ponies we would have known if there was anything wrong with them. There had been no random whinnies or stomping of hooves as of yet. Nevertheless, we still spun around and made our way over. They were all attached to logs or trees that weren’t too close to the rest of the forest. Mithiel gave a little hair flick as I made my way over. I gave her a little pat on the nose. If all went well I wouldn’t lose her. She was a good horse. Next to Mithiel, Dwalin’s horse, Fallulah, seemed a little agitated so I tried to calm her down. As I was stroking her head I heard a rather panicked voice from behind me.

“Er how many ponies are we supposed to have?” said Kili.

Alarmed I spun around towards him. “16 plus Gandalf’s horse, why?”

“There’s only 15” said Kili, a hand rubbing his chin.

“What? How?”

I went back a few steps so that I could see all the ponies. Counting them yielded the same number Kili had said.

“Shit, where has it gone?” I exclaimed.

We had been here the whole time, how could one have gone missing? There hadn’t been any odd sounds. No big pounding footsteps or a large grubby hand stealing one of the ponies. Oh God Thorin is gonna kill us. We all looked around for any clues as to where the other horse could be. That’s when we came across a broken branch. You could tell that the wood was freshly splintered. It seemed that someone had chosen the wrong branch to hitch the pony to and now the little shit had done a runner. Why would a pony feel the need to just wander off? We were the ones feeding you, you ungrateful little fur ball with teeth. Well at least my legs weren’t just overly large fingers you weirdly evolved creature. I was shaken out of my internal rant about the evolutionary quirks of horses by Fili.

“We need to look for it”

“But...Trolls!” I whispered forcefully.

“Exactly, if they find it they might go looking for more. We need to find it before they do.”

Why was he making sense? I groaned out loud. “Fine, you make a good point… Doesn’t mean I like it though”

Kili grabbed my shoulder before I could move anywhere. “You should stay here”

“I’m not staying here while you potentially get taken by trolls” I said, removing his hand from my shoulder. “Even if you go without me, I will just follow you”

Kili looked at me, weighing the truth of my words “Fine” he surrendered “But only if you promise to stay hidden and not try to fight the damn things”

“Do I look like someone who would start a fight with a 10ft tall monster? I have some self-preservation skills you know”

* * *

My confidence waned as soon as I entered the forest. Following after a horse into troll infested forest seemed like an okay idea when you were in a nice meadow with lovely moonlight to see with. Now that I was under the forest canopy everything suddenly seemed 10x scarier. I would hear scuttling or think I saw a shadow move and my heart would jump in my chest. Thankfully, I had my kinetic powered torch with me so that we could see where we were going. I tried to make sure that the light wasn’t too bright that it would alert anyone to our location.

Fili was very impressed with my ability to conjure light. 

“Is that magic?” he asked in wonder “Like from Gandalf’s staff”

I had to disappoint him. “I’m not that cool I’m afraid. It’s a kinetic torch from my world. You wind it up and it emits a light. No magical light conjuring here” 

“It’s still fantastic” he muttered.

Fili and Kili were using some tracking skills that I did not possess to track down the infernal creature. They would spot things that I would have simply dismissed. Why do you assume that a hoof broke that twig? Perhaps it was from a particularly fat badger having a lie down. Anything is possible.

It was when we were quite a bit into the forest when I came to the realisation that we hadn’t actually told anyone where we were. Apparently we were all sharing the same brain cell. We really should think things through more. Following the tracks brought us deeper into the forest. Just when we thought we were getting close we came across the sight we did not want to see. Several trees had been torn apart as if by a bulldozer. The tracks for the horse ended just where the destruction began. Great, we got there too late and now the trolls have it. I quickly shut off the torch, hoping that we weren’t seen.

All of us agreed to follow the destruction. We tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to alert anything to our presence. An orangey light shone through the trees and I knew we’d found some kind of camp fire. Moving closer, we hid behind a felled tree. The trolls were even worse than I imagined. You couldn’t really comprehend their size from your imagination alone. They were  _ Huge  _ with mottled leathery skin. Boils, warts and pustules lined their body like a sad constellation. Their bodies all seemed malformed and misshapen as if they were created by a child out of playdough. The smell was the worst part. It took everything in me not to gag.

One of the trolls was carrying the poor horse over its shoulder. It threw it down with no caution into a makeshift pen. Thankfully the horse could still stand. A troll in the middle was stirring some noxious concoction in a cauldron.

“Is tha’ all ya can find, we’re starvin over ‘ere” said the one on the far left of the fire. It’s voice was very nasally.

“Am sure there’s more owt there somewhere” said the one by the cauldron. A deep baritone voice that would shake the ground if it yelled.

The one who carried the pony in clipped the middle troll around the head “Shut ya hole, this is all a got so stop complainin’” 

We needed to figure out a way to get the pony back. However, I know how well that went last time for Bilbo. This time we do have our own swords though. We wouldn’t have to try and steal the trolls knife.

“We need to go around the back” whispered Fili “Maybe we can cut it loose”

We all nodded and made to inch around. I’m not sure who did it but as we went to move a loud  ***Crack*** rang through the air. A branch must have broken under foot. Startled we all fell into a crouch and tried to stay hidden. The noise had also startled the trolls. From what I could see, one of the trolls had been drinking something. The noise had made him step backwards and fall over a pot of something. Spilling the contents everywhere.

“Tom ya big loaf tha’s all our grog” the middle troll grabbed the troll with the nasally voice around the ear.

Thankfully they seemed too preoccupied with the lost grog than to whatever made the sound in the first place.

“a didn’t mean it Bert” said Tom, trying to pull Bert’s hand away

“Go back to tha cave an’ ge’ some more” he kicked Tom and pushed him towards the trees. “Am not spendin’ all night wiv no grog” Tom grumbled but started to slink off all the same.

Shit!

If the others had found the cave they were about to be discovered. We needed to find them fast and warn them.

* * *

**Thorin**

Nothing could never be simple. An otherwise decent journey had to be spoiled in some way. Everything must have been going too well so the world had to start throwing things back at them. To hinder them and slow them down. Trolls, it seemed, would be the main event today. Thorin didn’t want to believe Leah about them. However, most of the future information that she had shared thus far had been truthful. She knew about the hobbit and the shire before he’d even told her where they were going. So he had no choice but to believe her. If he chose not to listen and then something bad came to pass, it would be on his head. That did not mean that he appreciated wandering into a forest to steal from a troll’s hoard.

Leah was...an odd one. That probably wasn’t the best way to describe her but it fit all the same. She had spent her life in a completely different world to this one. That meant that even the simplest things from this world could bring her up short or make her face light up with wonder. He recalled when they were first journeying together and she was fascinated by a wooden bowl of all things. She told him that it was ‘rustic’ and that she’d ‘always wanted a wooden cutlery set’. How she had gone so far in life without seeing one, he wasn’t sure.

She was also a shapeshifter it seemed. As, where once there was a woman, there now stood an elf. If he had not seen the pictures Kili had shown him he never would have believed that she was once not an elf. He did not envy her. What a terrible fate to be turned into one of those smug, uptight creatures. Perhaps they could find her some help to change her back. The wizard didn’t seem to be able to do anything but there were probably others who could.

On top of all of this, she was also his nephew’s One. How that could happen, he had no idea. Why would Mahal place Kili’s One in a different world? There must be something bigger at play here. Thorin was fiercely protective of Fili and Kili. They may only be his nephews but Thorin saw them more as his sons. He had watched them grow and taught them how to fight. Happiness filled him when he used to think about them one day finding a partner. A One. Thorin did not expect for it to happen so soon or for it to be Kili who found one first. But he had and now Thorin was going to be fiercely protective of her too. She was good for him. After watching Kili spiral downwards over the past 6 months it was good to see him smiling again.

Now he just needed to make sure that they weren’t all crushed by trolls. He had chosen the halfling and Dwalin to accompany him. Dwalin was his strongest fighter and Mister Baggins would be needed to sneak in and find the weapons. They had gone into the forest shortly after the sun had set. He did not wish to find the cave before the creatures had vacated it. 

Part way into the forest they came across the pounding of large footsteps. Quickly, they ducked behind trees and tried to remain out of sight. From this vantage point he could see two trolls meandering through the trees. One was dragging a large pot behind behind it. They passed surprisingly quickly considering their size. Thorin let himself relax slightly as they disappeared from view. Stepping out from behind the tree they went to inspect the path the trolls had made. Surely this would lead them to their dwelling.

It was as they were outside the cover of the trees that Thorin recalled what Leah had told him. There were three trolls not two. The sound of crashing footsteps coming towards them echoed his mistake. Dwalin was already close to a hiding place but him and Bilbo were not. Without thinking Thorin quickly grabbed Bilbo and hauled him behind a tree. One of Thorin’s hands was covering the hobbits mouth and the other was holding him close to his chest. He could feel Bilbo fidgeting under his hands but he held strong until the troll had completely disappeared. A muffled voice started speaking below his hand. Thorin finally relinquished his grip on the hobbit.

“That was completely unnecessary” Bilbo sputtered “You do realise that I am completely capable of being silent on my own. Probably better than you can be”

A redness had spread across Bilbo’s cheeks. His behaviour made Thorin want to smile. We’re all hobbits this dramatic. He simply rolled his eyes instead, wringing a short chuckle from Dwalin. They followed the trail of destruction as best they could. Always keeping an ear out for any indication of their return. The path seemed to be well travelled by these beasts. They must have been here for quite some time.

It was the smell that first alerted them that they were close. Cloying, acrid scent that threatened to consume you. Trying to breathe as little as possible, they followed their nose. It was a rather nondescript cave from the outside. A hole set into a flat, rock wall. The only reason they knew they’d found the right place was because of the destruction and the smell.

“Is that the cave then?” asked Bilbo, his voice wavering slightly.

“Seems to be” said Dwalin. Who then gave Bilbo a little shove forward. “Off ye go then”

Bilbo dug his heels into the ground, trying to prevent Dwalin from pushing him any further. “Wait, wait, wait” He muttered “What am I even supposed to be looking for?”

Dwalin pursed his lips “The girl said weapons” he said shrugging, not overly helpful.

“Swords, Master Baggins. Leah says that there are fine swords in this cave. Ignore everything that looks rusted or damaged.” said Thorin, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“Right, swords..er” Bilbo scrunched up his nose. Then he spun back to face the entrance of the cave “I’ll just… be off then”

Then he scampered off, with a very staggered pace, right towards the cave. Thorin and Dwalin set up watch on either side of the cave mouth. Ever vigilant. Scanning the trees ahead of them. He could hear clattering behind him followed by Bilbo’s mutterings. A loud crash from inside the cave had Thorin turning towards it.

“What was that?” Thorin demanded.

He could he a pained groan from inside the cavern. Just as he was about to follow the noise inside he heard Bilbo’s voice. “I’m fine, just some blasted plate armour landed on my foot”

Thorin sighed deeply “Have you found anything yet Master Baggins?” If the hobbit didn’t find anything soon he was going to regret bringing him along on this journey.

“I found a couple of things but it’s so dark it’s hard to tell whether they are the right ones”

Damn, they should have brought a torch with them. That lack of foresight was on him. “Just hurry out and we’ll see what you’ve found”

The sound of Bilbo’s steps got closer.

“Thorin!” Dwalins worried voice drew his gaze away from the cave.

Thorin’s eyes darted about until he saw what had gotten Dwalin so spooked. “Troll!”

They tried to dart out of sight but it was too late. The troll had already seen them. It let out a great roar and called to it’s companions. 

* * *

**Leah**

We needed to follow the troll. However, we also needed to warn the others. Fili volunteered to go and rally the others. I would have gone but I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to find my way back through the forest alone. That left Kili and I to tail the thing. Realistically we needed to get in front of it so that we could give the other adequate time to flee. However, that was easier said than done. Whereas the troll got to follow its own beaten path, we had to climb over roos and bushes. While also avoiding being seen. 

We managed to get in front of it and was making good headway. The smell of the cave hit me first and I nearly gagged. I could see the cave through the trees. Along with Dwalin and Thorin. Just as I was about to call out, Dwalin beat me to it. He must have caught sight of the troll before we could warn them. Unfortunately, that meant that the troll now knew they were there. 

Tom roared and yelled for the other to join him and stop the thieves. Thorin drew his sword and Dwalin drew his axes. The troll swung for them with its overly large fists. Expertly, they managed to roll out of the way. Kili wasted no time and drew his own sword. My sword was still sheathed at my side. How could a sword pierce through a hide that thick? I didn’t want Kili to join in the fight but he’d already charged in before I could stop him.

“Kili, what are you doing here?!” yelled Thorin.

“Warning you!” Kili yelled back, just about avoiding the trolls hand. He swung his sword around, trying to hack at the troll’s legs. The sword merely bounced off, not even leaving a dent.

I was still in the trees. Frozen. Adrenaline was burning through my veins. The sound of the others were fast approaching. I needed to help them. Distract the trolls in some way that wouldn’t get me killed. Wracking my brain I tried to think.

The torch! 

It could get pretty bright. Maybe bright enough for them to think it was sunlight. Quickly I flipped open the tab and started to wind the torch up. As fast as I could to give it enough energy to glow. Just as I was winding the torch up the other trolls had arrived. Followed shortly by a gang of angry dwarves wielding weapons. When it seemed like it was bright enough I swung the beam around and directed it towards the troll. The bright, white beam was more powerful than firelight. All the trolls cowered away from the light, covering their eyes.

“Am blind”

“It’s tha sun”

The dwarves took this advantage and started their assault. I stepped out from the trees so that I could train the light beam better. Swapping between each of the trolls faces. They started hitting out and swinging their arms around them. A few dwarves didn’t get out of the way in time and were flung backwards. It seemed like we were getting the upper hand.

That was until one of the trolls realised that my torch wasn’t actually harming them. With anger in its eyes he charged towards me. A guttural roar leaving its mouth. I didn’t even get the chance to dodge before a hand reached out and grabbed me around the middle. A scream ripped from my throat as I was hauled into the air. The torch flew from my hand and into the trees. My sword was useless, still in its scabbard, currently under the trolls hand. It’s skin was rough like stone. The grip was crushing and I could barely breathe. My ribs screamed in pain.

“Drop ya arms or we’ll crush this un” yelled the troll holding me.

I heard the clang of dropped weapons all around me. Panic had gripped me nearly as tightly as the trolls fist. My arms were still free and I was desperately trying to push the hand open. It was no use, like trying to push a statue.

“Wot ya got there Bert?”

“Its an Elf!”

“I’ve never ‘ad elf before. A bet they’re tender” a troll reached out with a grubby finger and tried to poke me in the stomach.

“Leave her alone!” I heard Kili shout from below me.

The troll holding me swung me away. Trees blurred with the motion. “Ge’ roff this ones mine.”

“No I wan’ some”

“No me”

The trolls were clambering over each other trying to get to me. 

“NO THE ELF IS MINE!” came a loud voice from behind us.

The trolls backed off and searched around for the noise. Their faces uncertain. My torch had been flung into the forest and it now cast its light onto the cave wall. Some of the light was blocked by a huge hulking shadow. It writhed and moved, like a strange shadow creature.

“Who’s tha” said one of the trolls, its voice wobbled slightly “Show ya self”

“I’M A HOBBIT” the voice bellowed “AND THAT ELF IS MY MEAL”

That was Bilbo’s voice. Who knew that he could sound so menacing? Or make such great shadow puppets. The grip around my middle loosened as feared gripped the troll. It allowed me to breathe more easily. I tried to wiggle free but I still couldn’t maneuver myself away. 

“BEGONE OR FACE MY WRATH” The shadow creature extended what appeared to be arms.

The trolls were visibly shaking. It was working! That was until the torch started flickering out. Shit, it was running out of energy. It needed to be spun. Unfortunately, Bilbo did not know that and the torch flickered off. Leaving us all in darkness and making the new ‘Monster’ disappear from the cave wall.

“There’s no one owt ther’. Ya takin’ us all for fools” yelled Bert.

His grip increased exponentially and I thought my ribs would break. A pained sob fell from my mouth. If I didn’t get out I was going to be crushed or eaten. I struggled against the hand, my panic reaching a fever pitch. Let Go! Let Go! Let Go!

“LET ME GO!” I slapped my hands down onto the trolls skin.

A feeling like electricity flowed across my skin. Vibrating beneath my hands. As soon as I slapped my hands down a white, blinding light blasted out of them. The skin beneath my touch immediately started to calcify. Hardening below me. The troll dropped me unceremoniously onto the ground. His whole hand was now stuck in one position. what was flesh was now stone. Including the trolls face. It’s expression was now frozen into one of horror. It swayed perilously from side to side before falling forwards. Crashing face first into the ground.

The world swayed in my vision and I found it difficult to breathe. My limbs felt weak and shaky below me as I struggled into a sitting position. An immense tiredness fell upon me. I could feel my head lolling to the side it was difficult to try and keep my head up. What the hell just happened?

“Bert? Bert!” he shook the downed troll. It’s expression still frozen in place

“He’s dead”

“She killed him”

The ground rumbled with the trampling of feet. They fell over one another trying to back away.

“The dawn will take you all” A loud crack broke through the night and several trees were felled. Sunlight shone into the clearing. It was weak but it was enough. The remaining trolls tried to get into the safety of their cave but it was too late. They froze and solidified into terrified statues.

My head was swimming. I reached a hand up to my forehead and sat forward. Someone was suddenly by my side. Cradling my head into their chest.

“Leah, Leah. Oh Mahal are you okay?” Kili babbled.

After a few deep breaths I could sense my tiredness fading. My strength returning to me. “I think so” I nodded into his chest. Leaning back, I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. The hands that had glowed and turned a troll to stone. How had I done that? Thinking back I also recalled the time when the men tried to grab me. There had been hand prints burned into his arms. Did I do that too?

Around me the dwarves were throwing me uneasy glances. Cautious and some even a little fearful. Gandalf walked over to me and kneeled down. Leaning heavily on his staff. He reached out with his other hand and clasped my shoulder.

“My dear, what did you do?”

“I, I don’t know. I was panicking and trying to get away.” I looked down at my hands with horror and wonder “Did I kill a troll?”

“You did indeed and that was no small feat. That was quite a powerful blast of magic” he pondered. His gaze was piercing and assessing. As if a new puzzle piece had fallen into place.

“Magic! how can I have magic? I’m not even from here” My breathing was increasing in a rapid fashion.

“I am not certain” he said “Tell me, my dear, has there been any other strange happenstances since you arrived here” 

Ah. This was probably the time to come clean about my strange visions. I just wish I was surrounded by wary dwarves. “I’ve been having weird...visions. Like memories but they aren’t mine”

“You are certain they are not sure own” Gandalf raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Well yes...and no. They include my family but they’re all elves and involve things I know I’ve never done. I had one where my dad was showing me how to ride a horse and then I could suddenly do it. But I know that my dad never taught me that.”

Gandalf peered at me appraisingly. “You are becoming quite the mystery Miss Leah Orrison”

Then he stood up and went to talk with some others. Kili was still holding me close to him. I hissed a breath when he accidentally brushed against my bruised ribs. He dropped his hand quickly.

“I’m sorry, are you injured?” I nodded at his question. “Oin, we need your help”

He had to yell a few times before the dwarf made his way over. His hearing wasn’t the greatest.

Voices were still talking behind me as Oin arrived. “That was quite the performance Bilbo Baggins. I didn’t know you had it in you” Gandalf mused.

“Quite the performance indeed” echoed Thorin.

“Oh, well when I saw the light from the torch it reminded me of the shadow monsters I used to make to tell fauntlings scary stories… That’s where I got the voice from as well” said Bilbo.

Oin had gathered his medical bag and made his way over to us. “we’ll need to lift yer shirt if I’m to get a look at yer ribs lass”

That made sense. He didn’t exactly have x-ray vision. But I also knew that these dwarves would probably freak out if I started stripping.

“Should we go over there or something” I pointed over to one of the felled trees.

“Good idea lass we’ll find ye some privacy” said Oin.

Kili helped me to my feet. Thankfully, they remained strong below me. The brief wave of fatigue after the magic blast seemed to be leaching away. Fili had also joined us. Sticking to his brother’s side. We made our way over to the tree and I plonked myself down. Kili sat down behind me, obviously afraid that I’d fall backwards. Fili had decided that he would act as a human shield and block others from my view. Well dwarven shield I guess. He turned his back to us so that he wouldn’t see anything.

Oin muttered something to Kili in khuzdul. I think I heard the name Thorin mixed in there somewhere. When I peered back I saw that Kili was deliberately looking away. Oin then asked me to lift my shirt. I had a sports bra on underneath so I wasn’t really that bothered about what the dwarf saw. Light bruises were forming along my torso. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Oin echoes my observations, his hands ghosting over my ribs.

“These don’t look too bad lass. Nothing’s broken. Though I’m not well-versed in elven anatomy I guess that they’ll heal in a few days or so” then he motioned for me to lower my shirt. He reached into the bag behind him and drew out a weird root of some sort.

“Here, chew on this” He handed me the root “It’ll help with the pain”

I gave it a sniff. It was very earthy with an oddly bitter scent. Tentatively, I bit down. It was rather nasty and it made my face screw up as I chewed. Eugh. Fili and Kili were allowed to look back now. They laughed at my disgusted expression. Fili crossed his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows at me.

“You lied to me” 

“What? When?” I said, confused.

“When you told me that you couldn’t conjure light from thin air” he said very matter-of-factly.

A surprised laugh bubbled up “Oh shut up, you’re not helping” I gave him a shove.

“Careful Fili, she might blast you away” Kili joked from behind me.

Making a joke about the situation was helping me calm down slightly. I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands. They didn’t seem any different. No foreign magic snaking its way under the surface. Just skin, bone and sinew. It was so strange.

Everyone had gone to explore the hoard as I was getting checked over by Oin. I could see people exiting the cave with random treasures they’d found. There was nothing that anyone could do that would make me go in that cave though. At least the swords had been found. I could see Thorin dusting off what I assumed was Orcrist. 

It was as I was stuck in my own thoughts that a very bedraggled wizard crashed into the field. Huge rabbits bound their way towards us before settling down by a tree. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I would have fallen from the log if Kili hadn’t have caught me. He righted me quickly so that I was upright. Gandalf went off to talk to Radagast on his own. Moving into the trees. Everyone else went about their own business again.

Wait. Something was going to happen. I was too busy freaking out that I forgot about the orcs following us. Hastily, I got to my feet. Ambling over towards Thorin.

“Leah…”

“We need to move. We need to leave” I spoke quickly.

Thorin was instantly alert, his sword dropping to his side. “Why, what’s wrong?”

“Orcs, there’s going to be orcs crawling all over this area”

Thorin’s eyebrows raised but he didn’t look too surprised. As if he knew about this outcome already. “Kili warned me of this” then he turned to the company “Everyone ready your weapons, we need to move now!”

“Why the haste, Thorin?” said Gandalf, who had just emerged from the trees.

“Orcs” Thorin spat. Then a wild howl split through the air. Confirming his suspicions. 

“There’s no time to get the ponies, we left them back at camp,” said Ori, looking worriedly into the forest.

“We will have to run”

* * *

Radagast, thankfully, agreed to lead the orcs away. His rhosgobel rabbits bounded away at tremendous speed. It was difficult to run with bruised ribs but I breathed through the pain and sped on. I was running faster than I’d ever done before. Adrenaline and fear were one hell of a drug. We wound our way out of the trees and into a vast plain. The cover of rocks were few and far between. I could see the orc scouts racing after Radagast’s sleigh. The sight of them made me want to freeze. A deep, instinctive, fear threatened to overtake my body. But the dwarves refused to let me slow down. There was always a hand at my back urging me on.

We ran between the rocks and down hills. Orc scouts appeared suddenly in our path and we had to divert. Quickly changing course. Radagast’s haphazard driving was causing the orcs to ride in our direction. I cursed under my breath but carried on. A rocky outcrop loomed in front of us and we sidled up to it. Sticking close to the wall. I could hear the shouts and snarls behind us. Black speech falling from their mouths. Squeezing my eyes shut I covered my ears

_ “Mithiel” I cried. A dark black arrow now sprouted from the horse’s neck. Blood maring her perfect, grey coat. _

_ I was running through a dark forest. Awful sounds following me. Snarling. Laughing. Dark words. _

_ “Found you” a gnarled hand shot out, burying a knife deep into my stomach. _

Not now. I shook my head and willed the visions to go. A cry humming at the back of my throat. Bilbo grabbed my shoulder, making me look at him. He didn’t say anything but his look told me that I wasn’t alone. I was very grateful for his presence. Everyone was silent as we heard the sound of footfalls from behind us. A lone rider was circling towards us. I held my breath. Not willing to make even the slightest of sounds. 

It didn’t matter though. There was nowhere to hide and the body of the beast soon came into view. Kili shot at them, not even waiting for Thorin’s signal. His arrow cutting through the orcs throat. The orc fell off the back of the warg with a screech but the warg continued to run at us. Bifur and Dwalin launched themselves at the creature. Fighting it with axe and spear. Bifur thrust his spear deep into the warg’s belly and Dwalin chopped at it’s skull with a large axe. They felled it quickly. 

Quickly but not quietly. The screams had alerted the others to our location. The thundering of feet began racing in our direction. We had to run. I hardly paid attention to where we were running to. Simply following the others. Hoping that they knew what they were doing more than I did. We ran for as long as we could. Dodging the swords and the arrows from the orcs. It reached a point where we could run no more. The riders had circled around and had flanked us from all sides.

“Stay together!” yelled Thorin, brandishing his sword.

Everyone formed a tight circle, watching the orc scouts get nearer. My sword was in my hands too. The pommel wasn’t slipping through my hands despite how sweaty they were.

“Where’s Gandalf”

“Where’s the wizard” I heard someone yelling.

“Over here you fools” Gandalf was standing behind a large boulder, urging us to follow him. Arrows were landing at our feet as we ran to the entrance. They jumped down without looking or caring where it went. Simply wanting to flee. Looking back I saw that Thorin and Kili were still in the middle of the field. Orcs drawing in closer. Without thinking I charged back out. I needed to reach him. Kili was still shooting at the orcs, too engrossed to fall back.

“Kili we need to go!” I yelled, grabbing his shoulder. Forcing him to come back with me

He nodded and began to walk backwards. Just as we were ready to flee, I saw an orc raise it’s bow. It’s arrow aimed directly at my chest.

“NO!!” Kili screamed as the arrow was loosed.

It never found its mark though as Kili shoved me bodily out of the way. The momentum throwing me to the ground. The arrow had found a new mark. Buried in the left side of Kili’s chest. The world slowed. Kili looked down with shock and pain. He reached up to touch the arrow, blood flowing beneath his fingers. The only way that I knew I was screaming was from the pain in my throat. I could no longer hear anything, my heart too loud in my ears.

Kili fell to his knees. His breaths getting shallower. I quickly stood up on shaky legs. The orcs were still behind us. Readying more weapons. I gripped under his armpits and hauled with all my might. Thorin was suddenly next to me, helping me drag Kili to safety. We got to the entrance of the hole. Positioning Kili’s legs over the edge we slid down with him. Everyone moved out of the way. Making room for Kili on the floor. His skin was so pale and a sheen of sweat coated every inch. Crazed, pained eyes searched all around him, before landing on me.

“Oin Help!” I heard someone say.

I refused to leave Kili’s side. Even when I felt someone trying to move me. Tears were flowing down my face in a never ending river. Tears filled his eyes too. His hand reached up for me shakily. It only made it part way before it fell back down. Too weak to move anymore. I reached out and brought his hand up to my face. Not caring about the blood or dirt that coated it.

“Kili, stay with me” I sobbed “You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna get you help”

We needed to get him to the elves. Fast. Only they could save him from a wound this great.

Kili tried to speak. Each breath looking like it cost him greatly to do. “Le. Le.AAHHH!” 

Oin had pulled the arrow out of Kili’s chest. Rivulets of red blood and black ooze flowed out of the wound.

“YOU CAN’T TAKE IT OUT, HE’LL BLEED OUT!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My hands quickly covered the wound. Blood soaking through my fingers.

“It’s a morghul shaft it would poison him faster than the blood loss would kill him”

I was no longer listening. The only sound my ears picked up was the staccato beat of Kili’s heart. Slowing. Slowing. Slowing.

No no no no no no no. Kili let out a choking noise. It sounded like he was drowning. Small drops of blood sputtered from his mouth. Then his head fell to the side, his eyes no longer seeing. No breath escaped from his mouth. No beats came from his chest.

He was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End
> 
> I'm kidding, I'm kidding I promise. The story doesn't end here, I have a plan.  
> The next chapter is nearly finished so you shouldn't be left with this cliff hanger for too long.  
> Just know that I was nearly crying writing this, it didn't help that I had that song, Doomed, on in the background while I wrote.


	19. Am I vital?

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t hear. My vision had tunneled until Kili was the only thing I could see. His face ashen, pale and slack. Eyes unseeing, staring at nothing. Ugly sobs wracked my body, the flow of tears never stopped. My fists had a white knuckle grip on Kili’s shirt. It felt like someone had taken a knife and rammed it into my heart. White hot pain. I struggled to breathe around it. Each breath came out as a whimper.

Kili was gone.

I would never see him smile again. The smile that made me feel like my heart would burst out of my chest. His laugh, that was so infectious, would never ring through the air again. He was one of the warmest and best people I had ever known. I loved him. Loved him so much it hurt...And I never got to tell him. I was too much of a coward and now he was gone. 

“P.please K.Kili you can’t b.be gone” each word was broken up by a sob. “Come back." I shook him. Demanding him, the world, anything that would listen "Come Back! COME BACK”.

Several hands reached around me. My arms, my waist. They all tried to pull me backwards. Pull me away.

“NOOO!” I fought against all of them. using a strength I didn’t know I had.

I gripped Kili’s chest with everything I had. Kili was not supposed to die here. This was my fault. I was supposed to save him. I  _ am _ supposed to  _ save _ him. He can’t die here. Not like this. Another sob tore through me. It felt like I was falling. Falling into the deepest, darkest pit with no hope of ever resurfacing.

My sobs we're suddenly cut short. A gasp falling from my mouth. Another electric sensation had started coursing through my hands. The bright white glow had returned. Only this time it wasn’t blasting anyone away. I stared at my hands in shock for only a second before something instinctual drove me. Leaning back I placed my hands over the wound on Kili’s chest. The blood still poured out of it at a sluggish pace.

A strange, raw power began pouring out of my hands. Rushing into the wound. Flowing and flowing like a burst dam of light. The light spread beneath Kili’s skin like blood in a vein. Traveling the length of his body. With a shock I realised that I could  _ feel _ him. As if his body were my own. Whatever magic was flowing from my hands seeked out the damaged area. I could feel where his lung had collapsed around the arrow. The magic like fingers tracing the wound. It’s shape was wrong. I don’t know how but I willed the cells to reform. To knit back together. The blood flowing from the wound was staunched.

The world was dimming around me. My breaths had slowed to pained gasps. I was giving all I could. Whatever power was flowing through me, I was giving it everything. My arms had started to shake below me. Barely keeping me upright as I leaned over his chest. Both my power and energy were waning. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would pass out completely. But I gritted my teeth and carried on.

The hole in Kili’s chest began to glow brighter. Strands of skin reformed until it looked like there was never a wound there. Magic, then wrapped around his heart. Pulsing. Begging it to restart.

Kili shot up with a gasp. Like a drowning man who had finally tasted air. 

With all my energy spent I fell face first onto his chest. Surrendering to darkness.

* * *

**Kili (Mahal’s Halls)**

He had seen the arrow aimed at her. A fear unlike any other had gripped him. Taken him by the throat and forced him to act. Kili couldn’t lose her. Not again. So he had taken her place. Pushed her away as far as he could. He didn’t feel it at first. The arrow. The shock of it drowned out any pain. When he looked down he could see it. Sticking, obscenely, out of his chest. His hands reached up, not knowing what to do. Blood, deep red, flowed between his fingers.

And then the pain came.

Like fire burning through his body. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He barely felt himself being dragged backwards. The pain too great to register much else. Falling, however, he did feel. It knocked the arrow and sent raw, burning agony cascading through his body. He couldn’t move, couldn’t talk. People moved around him but his vision was blacking out. His eyes finally zeroed in, to something on his right. A face. A beautiful, sad face.

Leah. He wanted to reach for her. She was the only thing he could see or concentrate on through the pain. Leah picked up his hand when he failed to reach for her. He could barely feel her skin beneath his own. The sensation too overpowered by the pain. He tried to call out for her. Instead a roar escaped his body. The pain was unyielding. Pulling. Tearing, yanking. Breath could no longer get into his body. No matter how hard he tried, air would not fill his lungs.

His vision had completely disappeared. Drowning out even Leah’s face. 

Then the pain itself started to fade. His consciousness drifting off with it.

All at once he was no more.

* * *

When he opened his eyes again, the world was no longer the same. Gone was the claustrophobic darkness of the cave. In its stead was a shining sky. White, like pure starlight. Hanging high above him. It should have hurt his eyes; blinded him to look upon it. Yet it didn’t. It yielded only a solid comfort, like a blanket placed over you. Keeping you safe. 

The overwhelming pained had ceased. As if it was never there. His breath flowed in and out of his body freely. It felt so good to be able to breathe again. There was no fear anymore. Where it had been all consuming, a terror unlike any other, he now felt a blissful calm. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t feel calm right now. He had to get back. The sensations of his body finally came back to him. Now able to move freely, he quickly looked down at his chest. The arrow was gone. Not even a drop of blood marred his shirt. He frantically grabbed at the edges of his collar. Tugging, exposing the skin below. Smooth, unblemished skin ran across his chest.

Kili swung his head around, trying to get a grip on his surroundings. The ground below him was white, a cloud of fog skimmed its surface. But it wasn’t cold or wet, it flowed around his skin comfortingly. Like a gentle caress. 

Sounds arose from somewhere behind him. Happy raucous laughter. Singing and music. Clambering to his feet he turned to see the source of the sounds. A huge doorway had appeared in front of him. So vast it must have spanned a mile wide. The architecture was so complex, made up of geometric shapes that slotted into one another almost seamlessly. Only the best of dwarven architects could even fathom how it was put together. A shimmering veil of light danced across the surface of the doorway. Pearlescent hues dancing across it. A barrier from the outside to the inside. One would have to pass through it in order to enter the halls.

Mahal’s halls, he realised.

The place where dwarven souls go to rest when they leave the world behind them. When they... die. He was dead! How did this happen? He was with Leah, protecting her. Kili only wanted to protect her. And he paid his life for it. A sob ripped its way out of his throat. The foreign feeling of calm no longer winning out. How was he supposed to save his family now? Thorin and Fili. He was supposed to save them. His brother and uncle couldn’t die as he had. They needed to live.

Kili gripped his shirt over his chest. His knuckles went white with how tight he was holding on. Shuddering sobs jolted through his body. The veil shifted in front of him. He did not want to go through it. To join the ranks of his forebears. He wasn’t ready. There was a sense of vulnerability as he gazed upon Mahal’s halls. It was like he was a child again, gazing out into an unknown world.

The veil shifted again. Except this time a shadow appeared from the other side. Starting off huge yet faint, spanning the whole height of the doorway. Before shrinking and deepening in colour. As if something was getting closer. It continued to shrink until the shadow was dwarf sized. Then from behind the veil stepped a dwarf, still in his prime. His hair was a deep gold and he had a smile that never left his face. A dwarf that looked like Fili, only older.

“Adad” he cried, barely getting the word out. 

With tears still falling down his face, he raced forward. Crashing into his Adad’s arms. It was really him. He even smelled the same. Kili clung onto him like a child would cling to a teddy bear. So scared that if he let him go he would disappear. His adad’s arms wrapped around him. Fingers threaded into his hair and he felt a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m so proud of you azaghâlithûh” Vali spoke into his hair “I love you, Kili”

Over the years Kili was devastated to find out that he could no longer recall what is Adad had sounded like. Hearing his voice after all this time was like finding water in a desert. The sweet relief made him sob harder.

“I love you too, Adad” Kili straightened up so that he could lay his forehead against his adad’s. Vali’s eyes gazed back at him, so filled with love. The same colour as his own. With a start he realised that he now stood taller than his adad. Vali had died when he was so young he never thought it possible that he could grow bigger than him.

“I’m sorry” he cried “I failed”

“You did no such thing my boy” Vali reached for Kili’s face, wiping the tears away. “You saved your One”

“But I was supposed to save them” Kili grabbed his adad’s hands where they rested on his face.

“And you will”

“What?” Kili’s brow furrowed. The sudden confusion stopped anymore tears from forming.

“Your story doesn’t end here” Vali stroked Kili’s cheek “There is still more to tell”

But, he was dead. The halls of Mahal were right in front of him. There was no way back. Vali removed his hands from his sons face. He then reached into a pocket on the front of his shirt. Grabbing one of Kili’s hands he placed an item in it. Closing Kili’s fist around them.

“These are for you,” said Vali “I want you to tell your One how you feel. Just lean in and kiss her. Don’t look back”

Vali was speaking quickly as if he was running out of time.

“And I need you to tell Fili that I’m so proud of him. He needs to stop thinking that he failed in protecting his family. He’s done more than I ever could have hoped for”

“But..”

“Tell your mother that I love her. She is my Kurdel and she always will be” Vali had started to step backwards. Edging closer to the veil.

“Adad, I don’t know what you mean. I can’t do any of those things. I’m dead”

“Not if she has anything to say about it”

“Who?..”

Then he saw it. A pair of arms made out of pure light. They wrapped around him as if hugging him from behind. The hands settled over his heart. A glow began emanating from his chest. He could feel a strange pulse in his heart. And then the arms pulled. 

He was pulled backwards and he fell. Straight through the clouded floor. Into the unknown below.

* * *

(Outside Rivendell)

Air crashed back into his lungs violently. He jolted up with the strength of it. It took a second for him to understand his surroundings. The company, everyone was crying. Shock soon replaced the tears. Ori even fell backwards. To his left he could see his brother and his uncle. Tracks of tears still stained their cheeks. Their faces a mixture of distraught, happy and confused. Fili grabbed his head and rammed his forehead into Kili’s own. 

“Kili” Fili cried, his own tears falling onto Kili's face.

He tried to get up only to be restricted by an unknown weight. Looking down he could see the blonde of Leah’s hair. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slack. She didn’t react when he shook her. Though he could tell that she wasn’t dead a panic still gripped him.

“Leah, Leah?” he turned to Oin “What’s wrong with her?”

Had she done something? Why was he back but she was out cold? Could Leah be the ‘she’ that had brought him back? it didn’t make any sense. 

Gandalf tried to explain as best as he could what had happened. Her hands had glowed like before but this time it had saved him. She had healed him. No more than that. He had already crossed the brink of death and she had somehow climbed across the brink and pulled him back. 

Leah was lifted off him so that he could stand up. They needed to find her a healer. An elven one. Thorin agreed without hesitation. In any other circumstance, Kili would have been shocked that Thorin would willingly go to the elves for help. But this was different. She had saved Kili’s life and Thorin was willing to return the favour. The other dwarves refused to let Kili carry Leah. Claiming that they did not want to risk his health further. They said this but Kili had never felt so healthy. So invigorated. He felt like he could run for miles and not falter.

In the end it was Thorin who carried Leah. Her head rolled listlessly to the side as he lifted her. His heart broke when he saw the state she was in. He longed to hold her.

A confused gasp fell out of him as he became aware of a foreign sensation. Kili swore he could feel her heartbeat. Even from so far away. It beat in tandem with his own. He rubbed his chest, confused by the feeling. That’s when he realised that there was an object still in his hand. The gift his adad had gave him. It somehow had followed him back to the world of the living. Apprehension gripped him as he uncurled his hand. In the middle of his palm sat two small, cylindrical objects. They were bright silver and shone with the same pearlescent hue as the veil had. It was unlike any metal that was present in this world. The outside was carved with intricate runes that indicated their purpose. They were beads. Courting beads to be exact. The kind you give to your One to confess your love. He nearly choked up when he saw them. The last gift his father could give him. 

Everyone began moving down the stone corridor. Breaking him from his thoughts. Kili quickly pocketed the beads before anyone could see. He couldn’t handle any questions right now. Fili hung onto him as they made their way through the maze. Refusing to let go, scared that he’ll disappear if he did. With Gandalf leading the way they soon came to a cave opening. Below them stretched the legendary elven city of Rivendell. The buildings were constructed in a winding valley. A fast moving river ran through the centre. No one had time to bask in its beauty though. They were too busy forging a path down the hill side to get to the valley below.

They reached the bottom and came to an elven bridge. Gandalf led the way, beckoning towards the elves at the end of the gangway.

“Mithrandir” said a brunette elf that was descending down the stairs.

“Ah Lindir, we need your help” said Gandalf “Where is Lord Elrond?”

Lindir looked at Gandalf with concern. “Lord Elrond’s scouting party is coming in now”

Lindir pointed behind the company, to where several horses had started to gallop towards them. Everyone closed ranks. Keeping Bilbo and Leah in the centre. The horses rode around the group, herding them tighter together, before finally settling down. A tall, regal elf climbed down from his horse and made his way to the front of the group.

“Gandalf” greeted the elf.

“Lord Elrond, we must hurry. A member of our company has grown dangerously weak” implored Gandalf.

Elrond’s smile dropped and he was immediately serious. “Whom?”

The dwarves parted so that Thorin could step out, Leah still in his arms. The elves gasped when they saw her. They instantly jumped into action, secreting Leah away. Kili was not left behind either. He was grabbed and brought along with her. Gandalf had informed them of what had transpired. That meant that he was also to be poked and prodded to see how he faired. He didn’t want to be there but they wouldn’t let him leave until they were sure he was fine. It pained him to be so far away from Leah. What if something bad happened? He could not live with himself if she had given her life just to save him. Even if he had done the same for her.

Fili, thankfully, stayed with him so he didn’t have to face the elven healers alone. They would speak in their own tongue around him. Leaving him clueless as to what they were talking about. Sometimes the elves seemed like they were looking through him rather than at him. Staring into his very soul. A shocked gasp fell from their lips the first time they did it. Though they did not inform him of what was so shocking.

Once he was given a clean bill of health the elven healers left the room. Fili was upon him as soon as the door closed. He wrapped his arms around Kili, bringing him close. Tears had sprung in his brothers eyes once more.

“Oh Kili, I nearly lost you again” Fili buried his head into Kili’s shoulder “I failed you again”

“No Fili, you did not fail at anything. Look at me” Fili looked up into Kili’s eyes.

Kili’s throat felt tight. “I saw Adad” a single tear fell from Kili’s eye at the memory.

“You did?” Fili’s voice was astonished.

“I did” he nodded “He told me to tell you that he was so proud of you. And that you have never failed him or me”

Fili’s face crumpled at the words “He said that? That he was proud of me?”

Kili nodded, tears brimming his eyes at seeing his brother cry. He leaned his forehead against Fili’s, just letting them both cry for a bit.

“He also gave me something” Kili mumbled.

“Gave you something?”

Kili reached into his pocket and withdrew the beads. He opened his fingers and showed them to His brother. Fili gasped when he saw them.

“Courting beads” a surprised laugh fell out of Fili’s mouth “Now you have no excuse not to tell her”

* * *

**Leah (Rivendell)**

Consciousness returned to me very gradually. Like the trickling of sand in a timer. Slowly but surely I became aware of my surroundings. First it was my limbs, then it was my fingers and toes. I could feel that I was lying down, the surface was soft and silky to the touch. My mind was the last thing to catch up with me. Once it did I bolted upright, gasping. Where was Kili? My thoughts danced around my head, refusing to stay still. I couldn’t quite remember what had happened. Was he okay?

A woman darted back when I got up. No not a woman. An elf. Her hair was a dark ebony and it fell down her face in curtains. Her skin was a soft, brown colour. She reached over and patted my shoulder.

“Shhh it’s okay, you’re okay” Her tone was soft and comforting. She guided me to lie back down “You should not get up so fast. You used a lot of energy”  

“Who are you? Where am I?” looking around I could see that I was in a very opulent room. There were floating gossamer curtains leading to a balcony and the pillars were carved to look like trees.

“My name is Rehtinde and you are in Imladris, young one” she spoke softly “I will go inform Lord Elrond that you are awake”

She bowed her head slightly and smiled before gliding out of the door. Leaving me to my own thoughts. What had happened for me to get here? My mind was refusing to cooperate at first. The thoughts moving at a snail’s pace. Then It came crashing into me all at once. Like a wrecking ball.

Kili had died.

My hands had glowed with that strange power again. Did I save him? I couldn’t remember. Tears began forming in my eyes and I was left gasping for breath. My hand clutched at my chest. That’s when I noticed a strange sensation. Like a second heartbeat. Not quite timelord-esque. At least I don’t think. I knew it didn’t come from my own chest but I could feel it all the same.

Kili?

Was that him I could feel? The steady beat soon calmed my own heart. I felt like I could breathe again. A few beats later, I saw the door to my room swing open. In the doorway stood a very tall elf. His dark hair was braided on either side of his face.

“Well met, Leah. My name is Lord Elrond” he said “It’s good to see you are awake”

My eyes widened at the name. This was  _ The _ Lord Elrond. Holy shit!

Behind him walked a very familiar face wrapped up in grey. “Gandalf” I sighed, it was good to see him.

“Ah, my dear” he walked towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder “You had us all very worried”

“What happened?” I asked, glancing down at my hands. Knowing that they were the culprit.

It was Elrond who spoke first, he came and stood by the side of my bed. “You have displayed some very powerful healing magic. Many elves have this skill but they pale in comparison to what you accomplished. The dwarf’s soul had already passed into Aulë’s halls yet you managed to bring him back. That is no small feat.”

I froze as he spoke. I had done that? But I didn’t even know what I was doing.

“A power such as this has only been gifted to a handful of elves throughout the ages,” he continued.

“But I’m not from here” I said “Why do I have these powers?”

I wasn’t knocking them, I’m very happy that I have them. Otherwise Kili would be dead right now. It just didn’t make sense for me to have them.

Elrond and Gandalf shared a strange look between them. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know what that meant.

“Gandalf has told me much about you, Leah” I assumed that meant he knew about my world. “He has also informed about the strange occurrences that you have been experiencing. The memories that were not your own”

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

It was Gandalf who spoke up next to me. “My dear, those memories were your own you just couldn’t recall them until you had returned here”

“Returned here?” What the hell did that mean? And how could they be my memories?

“Yes, Leah. Your Fëa, your soul, was originally from Arda” said Elrond

My eyebrows shot up and I looked between the two of them waiting for them to tell me they were joking. Their faces remained deadly serious.

“How? I lived my whole life in another world” I sputtered.

Elrond walked around the bed until he stood at the foot. His hand traced the carved wood of the foot board “Was there an event that happened in your life, a tragic one, in which you were gravely ill or injured?”

How could he know? “I was in a car accident when I was 6. It killed my dad and brother”

Elrond looked like he expected this answer “Many different versions of us exist across many different worlds. It would seem the version of you from that world also died in that accident. Allowing the Fëa from this version of you to slip into that body” said Elrond.

My mouth fell open. Was he calling me some kind of body snatcher? Like I had stolen my body from someone else. Surely he must be mistaken. But then again I remembered Mum telling me how the doctors had been astounded that both of us had survived. They had said that it was a miracle that we hadn't succumbed to our injuries. Mum and I healed from the crash in ways the doctors hadn't expected. Leaving only a few scars rather than life altering injuries. Did that mean mum was from here too?

“If that’s true, why did my soul leave Middle Earth in the first place?” I asked.

“The only way for your Fëa to become detached from your body is by being slain. Your body remains on Middle Earth while your soul is supposed to pass into the halls of Mandos. Only yours didn’t. It was placed in another world” Elrond continued.

Slain? I had already been killed in this world? That would explain all the nightmares then. Of me being a small child and been hunted down by orcs. It had actually happened. The thought made me feel sick.

“I still don’t see why I was placed in another world”

“I believe I may have an idea,” said Gandalf from beside me. I looked up at him expectantly. “The elves of this world were once allowed to return to the earthly plain upon their death. They would be given a new body and make the journey back to Middle Earth. Only the journey was perilous and many elves lost their lives again before they ever made it back. The path was closed completely during the second age which meant that no elf could ever return. I believe that you were placed in your world as a way to circumvent that. A loophole so that you could be brought back when you were needed.”

I let Gandalf’s words sink in. This was too much to handle in one go. My body was tiring just thinking about the situation.

“Is it the same with my Mum?” I asked “She came back too”

“We cannot be certain but it would appear so if she too has returned to this world” said Elrond.

Gandalf gently lay me down and gave my shoulder a comforting pat. “Rest now, my dear, we can discuss your mother once you are feeling better”

I wanted to protest but I could already feel my eyelids drooping. It wasn’t long before they refused to open all together and I drifted off into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I told you I had a plan.  
> I realise that the elves having healing magic isn't exactly canon but I'm pretending it is for this fanfiction. That's what fanfic is for after all  
> This has been my favourite chapter to write. Kili seeing his dad was just the best to write.
> 
> Kurdel- Heart of all hearts  
> azaghâlithûh- My young warrior  
> Rehtinde literally means woman who heals in quenya


	20. Looking for another to combine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this a few days ago but I went away for bank holiday weekend. Hope you enjoy it now anyway

I woke, once again, from a very deep sleep. For a few seconds I had forgotten where I was. There was a brief moment of panic before I recalled that I was in fact in Rivendell. The room was significantly darker than it had been when I had first woken up. Through the floating curtains I caught glimpses of shining stars. Night had fallen then. How long had I been sleeping?

I was alone this time. Not even the elf woman, Rehtinde, was here. The room seemed so large with no one else to fill it. Large and dark and empty. All I could hear was a faint rustling of leaves and the rushing of water far below. I brought my legs up to my chest and hugged them close. For the first time since I arrived in Middle Earth I felt completely alone. Even in Rildolach, when I had my own room to stay in, I could always hear the dwarves through the walls. It made me feel like someone was always there. But here, right now, it was only me.

The oppressive feeling of loneliness was nearly overwhelming. I could feel an ache in my chest as I longed for someone else to be with me. So far I’d managed to compartmentalise and not think too long about the people that were out of reach . But now, in the lonely dark, my thoughts turned to them. My best friend was another world away and I missed her desperately. We barely got the chance to say goodbye to each other.

I also wanted my mum. Like a lost child, I needed my mum to tell me everything was okay. But she wasn’t here and I had no idea where she would be. She could be hurt or worse. Middle Earth hadn’t been kind to me so far so I don’t see how it would be kind to her either. Part of me had hoped that she was here, in Rivendell. That maybe the portal had spat her out in relative safety. However by the way Elrond spoke about my Mum I’m going to guess that that is not the case.

The first time I woke up there was a lot of information thrown at me and I didn’t have the chance to process any of it. I hadn’t fully processed the fact that Kili had  _ died _ either. He had actually died. Right there in front of me. His heart had stopped beating below my hands. My breath caught in my throat and I could feel a sob bubble up. Tears were already falling down my face and landing on the blanket covering my knees. Creating a pattern of droplets across the surface. 

Kili had died...and it was all my fault.

If I hadn’t been in the picture then no one would have gotten hurt. The only reason this happened was because I was there. The orc was aiming an arrow at me and Kili had taken the blow instead. It should have been me with an arrow in my chest. Not him. I don’t know how I could face any of the dwarves knowing that I was the reason Kili had nearly died. 

Nails dug painfully into my legs as I clung on. Sobs were rising through me in great heaving gasps. My heart beat was increasing as my panic did. The second heartbeat, drumming in rhythm along my own, also began to increase. The sensation drew me up short. Stopping my sobs with a shuddering breath. 

Kili?

Why did I automatically assume it was him? There had been no clue as to suggest what the mystery sensation was. Yet something instinctual in me, automatically labelled it as him. 

Kili was alive. He came back. He came back because I willed him to. I needed to calm my breathing and stop my panicking. Somewhere, in this valley, was Kili. Alive and well. Everything in me ached to see him. To hold him close and ensure that he was real. Not some kind of illusion. 

There was so much I needed to tell him. He needed to know how I felt about him once and for all. No backing out or waiting for the right moment. Kili had died while I had been waiting for the  _ right _ moment. Who knows what else could happen. It was vital that I stopped second guessing myself and simply told him. If he didn’t feel the same way then I’d deal with it but I couldn’t cope with him never knowing.

There was also the fact that I was apparently born here. I hadn’t been  _ turned  _ into an elf, I’d been an elf originally. It brought so many questions that I didn’t know any of the answers to. Who was I in this world? The only clue I had to go on was the name ‘Liriel’ from the visions. No, not visions, memories. My memories. I had a life in this world. A happy one with a happy family. It had been cut short by someone or  _ something  _ ending my life. The same evil creatures had probably killed my Mum too. That’s why we both had ended up in the other world.

I froze suddenly as questioning thoughts bubbled to the surface. If the reason that Mum and I were sent to another world was because we had been killed, then what had happened to Dad and Lachlan? Their souls never travelled over. Did that mean.. Did that mean that their souls never left Middle Earth? That they had never died?

I squeezed my eyes shut. Unwilling to feed into that hope. Not yet. I couldn’t bare the devastation if it turned out not to be true. 

A soft knock at my door shocked me out of my musings. The knocker didn’t wait for me to say anything before making their way inside. I straightened up from where I was hunched over. Rehtinde entered the room with a lit candle in her hand. She smiled kindly at me as her eyes made contact with my own. Then she took her candle and lit a few lanterns along the wall.

“I didn’t mean to disturb but you sounded quite upset” said Rehtinde, her voice very soft.

She came over to the bed and placed the candle down on the bedside table. It cast a warm glow across her face. Then she perched herself on the edge of the bed.

“Are you okay, Leah?” she asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I didn’t trust my voice so I simply shook my head. A few tears began to fall again.

“Oh come here, young one” her expression was very motherly.

She reached over and brought me into an embrace. At first I froze at the contact but then melted into her arms. Rehtinde may not look anything like my mum but at that moment she was the closest thing I could find. Empathy and kindness seemed to fall off of her in waves. She let me cry in her arms. Her hand rubbing soothing circles down my back. Something in me realised that she was probably treating me like a child but a vulnerable part of me didn’t care. I needed it.

I leaned back when I started to feel calm again. “Can I see Kili? please. I need to see him”

Rehtinde took her sleeve and wiped a tear away from my cheek. The sleeve came back with a faint tinge of grime across it. She looked down at it with a small smile. “How about I draw you a bath first?”

I couldn’t really argue with that. As much I wanted to see him, I knew I would feel better if I was clean first. So I nodded. Rehtinde then stood up and smoothed out the front of her dress.

“Lord Elrond has asked me to inform him when you were awake. I think that he has more that he wishes to discuss with you. I will go and fetch him after you have had your bath then he will probably escort you to your friends” she said.

“Okay” I breathed.

Then she moved into another room attached to this one. The sound of flowing water emanated from the room. Soft scents began floating on the breeze. I sighed contentedly. It smelled so good. Like clean linen and flowers. After a little while the sound of water shut off. Then Rehtinde returned to the room and made her way over to me.

“Can you stand on your own?”

My eyebrows crinkled slightly. Why wouldn’t I be able to? I guess I used a lot of energy to save Kili but I felt fine now. Save for the odd ache in my limbs. I drew the blanket away from me and made to get up. My legs weren’t too pleased with the movement. After being stationary for a long while, it took a moment to adjust. Rey-I decided that Rehtinde was too long to say in my head- then led me into the bathroom. It was very airy and open. The bath was built into the floor with steps leading down into it. White, foamy bubbles covered the surface of the water and steam rose into the air. It looked like a dream come true. My first proper bath since I’d landed in Middle Earth.

Rey left me to my own devices. I quickly stripped out of my dirty clothes. Eager to get into the water. Testing it with my toe first, I sighed at the warmth. Then the rest of me followed. Sinking into the hot water. It felt so good. For a second I just floated there with my eyes closed. Basking in the warmth. I had taken baths for granted. It was only after I couldn’t have one that I realised just how good they were.

Small ceramic jars lined one part of the bath. Alongside it I could see small cloths and a large sponge. I glided over towards them. Picking up one of the jars, I peered into it. Some kind of liquid soap gathered at the bottom. A slightly purple tinge to it. I picked up the others and decided to use the one that smelled the nicest. The one that smelled of rose. I scrubbed at my body with the sponge. Grime had started to cloud the water. Thankfully Kili’s blood had already been cleaned from my hands before I woke up. If I had woken up with it still there I think I would have thrown up.

I may have stayed in the bath longer than I needed to. The light from the candles had soon been replaced by the deep orange glow of the sunrise. Sighing, I climbed out of the water. A large fluffy towel was laid across a small stone bench. Snatching it up, I wrapped it around me. I was the cleanest I’d felt in a long time. 

The stained clothes were still strewn across the floor. My lip curled in disgust. Hopefully Rey had something else I could wear. Tentatively-because I was still only in a towel-I opened the door leading to the bedroom. Rey was placing a large tray onto a desk in the corner. The tray was ladened with food. She looked up and smiled when she saw me hovering.

“We managed to find a few dresses for you to wear” She motioned with her head towards the bed. “You can get dressed behind that screen if you like”

A changing screen was stood up behind her. I nodded and made my way over to the bed. The towel was securely wrapped around me and it came down to my shins so I wasn’t concerned about being seen in it. Little pools of water formed below my feet as I walked. There were 4 dresses on the bed. All of them were floor length and had long billowy sleeves. They were all different colours. White, dark green, royal blue and burgundy. It was a close call between blue and green but my eyes were more drawn to the blue one. What can I say it’s my favourite colour.

The material was soft when I picked it up. It seemed to be a rather simple design. No weird corset or tassels involved. I would be able to get it on without assistance. Walking behind the screen i quickly pulled it on. The dress was a little snug around the chest but other than that it fit pretty well. It had a square neckline that had silver embroidery around the edge. The same embroidery lined the sleeves as well. I’d not worn a dress for well over a month, I think it was some kind of record. A small smile came to my face when I swung the skirt around.

My hair was still hanging in damp tresses when I emerged from behind the screen.

“I thought you would be hungry,” said Rey “You’ve been unconscious for over a day”

Over a day!? Holy shit I hadn’t even realised. 

My stomach started growling as if on cue. Damn I was hungry. I made my way over to the desk and sat down. There was a large mirror reflecting the room back at me. I looked at my reflection with a new appreciation. This is what I was supposed to look like. Pointy ears and all. I pondered for a moment longer before digging into my food. There was fruit and pastries and bread and cheese. It looked divine. A pitcher of water stood to the side as well. I dove in with no pre-amble. 

“Slow down, it’s not going anywhere” Rey laughed from behind me “I don’t need you being sick”

My cheeks heated slightly and I mumbled a sorry. I then proceeded to eat my breakfast more slowly. After I finished, I realised that I didn’t actually know anything about Rehtinde. Was she some kind of servant? 

“I just realised that I never really asked about you” I mumbled, looking at her in the mirror. “What is it that you do at Rivendell?”

“Oh that’s my fault I should have informed you sooner. I was your healer when you arrived here” she said “So it’s my responsibility to make sure you are well”

A healer? I wonder if she had powers similar to my own. 

Rey removed the tray from the table and placed it out of the way. Then she came up to me with another towel and a hair brush. “Would you like me to do your hair?”

I nodded and gave her a small smile. Firstly, she used the towel to dry the rest of my hair. Then she went about brushing out all of the knots. It reminded me of how my Mum used to brush my hair when I was little. Sat between her knees having my hair put into a ponytail before school. Once my hair was sufficiently brushed Rey moved on to style my hair.

“You remind me of when my daughter was younger” Rey reminisced “When she would let me do her hair”

“I’m not actually a child you know, I’m just short” I said, a little self-deprecatingly. 

Rey seemed a little amused “I know that you are of age but it still doesn’t stop me thinking of it”

Her straightforwardness made me giggle. “How old is your daughter now?”

“She recently celebrated her 1728th year” she smiled proudly.

“Not a child now then”

“No not a child anymore” She shook her head

Rey was still braiding my hair as she continued “She was a very quiet child, loved the arts. And she mainly took after her Adar in looks. Her colouring isn’t as dark as mine. My own mother hailed from the East, that’s where I got mine from”

Rey continued on about her daughter while she finished my hair. It was relaxing to hear the lilt of her voice talk with such love for her daughter. When she finished, my hair was half up half down. A long fishtail braid lay down the back of my head. It was definitely very elven. Once she was satisfied Rey then decided that she could go and get Lord Elrond. 

I didn’t know what to do when she left so I just got up and perched at the end of my bed. Sort of half-sitting, half-standing. The door opened not much later. Lord Elrond stepped through with a polite smile on his face. That must have meant that he was close by. Had he been waiting this whole time? Maybe I shouldn’t have taken so long in the bath.

“Good morning Lady Leah. Are you well?” he placed his hands behind his back.

“Yes, I’m a lot better, thank you.” I rushed out the words.

“That is good” Then he motioned towards some chairs that were close to the door “Perhaps we should sit down there are things we should discuss.”

That doesn’t bode well. It suddenly felt like I was going to get scolded by a teacher. In any case, I made my way over to the chairs and fell into one. I sunk a lot deeper than I expected and a nervous giggle rose up. Elrond thankfully ignored it and sat down across from me. I looked at him expectantly, nervous as to what he wanted to discuss.

“There are some things about yourself that I feel you should know” said Elrond “First is your age. Elves usually come of age once they reach 100”

100?! I was nowhere near that. Even if I added the years I spent here it wouldn’t add up to 100. In my memories I appeared to be about the size I was when I was around 6. As elves age slower that could mean that I was anywhere between 20-30 when I first died. With my human years on top of that I could barely scrape 50. I hope he’s not about to tell me that I am in fact a child.

“However as you spent a lot of your years as a human your Fëa aged accordingly. So even though you may be younger than 100 you are in fact of age” he continued.

That’s a breath of relief. Did that make human years for elves the equivalent of dog years for humans?

“As humans age faster you didn’t quite get the chance to develop the...stature normally fitting of an elf” said Elrond, a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

He’s basically saying I’m short and he thinks it’s hilarious.

“So if I’m already of age does that mean that I’m gonna be short forever” I groaned.

“Yes it would appear so” he smiled. “Please forgive my people if they treat you in a way usually befitting a child to begin with. They know you are not but there hasn’t been an elven child to dote on for hundreds of years”

That explained Rehtinde’s reaction to me then. Though I was definitely taller than I was when I was 6. The height I assume I had been, last time I was in Middle Earth. Did that make my height the equivalent of an elven teenager’s? Do elves even have the concept of teenagers?

Elrond then sobered up pretty quickly “The other topic I wish to discuss is about what you accomplished with your dwarven friend”

My smile dropped from my face at the topic change.

“You must know that simply healing him would not have brought him back. Even our most skilled healers cannot bring someone back once they are dead. You did something else in order to bring him back to this world”

What? What did that mean?

He carried on at my shocked look “When you healed him you also reached out and tied his life force to your own. Your Fëar are now connected to one another”

My hand covered my chest. That sensation was still beating away. So it  _ was _ Kili at the other end. Our souls were connected.

“This means that your lives are now bound together.” he looked me dead in the eyes imploring me to listen carefully “If one of you shall die then so will the other”

“What!?” So if Kili or I died then we would drag the other down with us. Oh god, what have I done?

Elrond could see that I had started to panic so he reached out and covered my hand with his own. “This also means that he will live as long as you do. If nothing befalls either of you then he will live an elven lifetime”

It hadn’t even occurred to me before that I would live as long as an elf. In my mind I thought that I was still a human underneath it all. If I had thought about it, then I would have realised that even if I saved Kili he would die way before I did. Now, it seems, that it was no longer a problem. I had made the dude technically immortal. It made my head spin.

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“Elves have the ability to view the Fëa of others. When our healers viewed yours they could see what appeared to be a thick ‘rope’, of sorts, connecting the two of you. These connections are not a new discovery. In the past elves with similar powers have bound small objects, like plants, to their life force. So that they will bloom forever. But these connections look like mere wisps in comparison to the one you now share.” said Elrond “In those circumstances, were the plants to perish the elf would not die. The reason that your life is now so intrinsically connected is because you bound yourself to another sentient being. You will not be able to bring back another person as you are already bound to the dwarf.”

A rope like connection? I tried to mentally search for what was joining mine and Kili’s heartbeats together. It took a few seconds but I found it. It seemed to be flowing somewhere to my left. Is that where Kili was? Could I use this as some kind of Kili tracking device? When I reached out a mental hand towards it, I could feel that it was a tangible thing. It was the strangest feeling. Curiosity took over and I gave the rope a little tug. The heartbeat on the other end immediately sped up. What did I just do?

I found out a few seconds later. Kili must have done the same thing back to me. My breath fell out in a gasp and my heart beat increased. It felt like someone had touched my very soul. My very essence. The feeling was very vulnerable and intimate. Leaving me breathless. My cheeks heated at my reaction. I feel like that was not something I should have done with other people around. It felt like a very personal and private thing.

Elrond raised an eyebrow at me yet continued on “It shares some similarities to an elven marriage bond.”

My face heated up. I remember how elves ‘marry’ in this world. Having sex with someone was basically how they got married. When Elrond had compared it to my situation, I got a little flustered. I hadn’t had the chance to do anything like  _ that _ with Kili and he was saying that we were essentially married?

“Except in those circumstances the two Fëar combine to form something new. Your soul’s remain separate.” Elrond didn’t seem to notice my red cheeks. “Also if one were to perish the other would live on”

My curiosity was slightly piqued. I didn’t actually know much about how elves and Fëa really worked. Considering that I was an elf I should probably learn as much as possible.

“If their soul’s combine then what happens when they die. I thought the Fëa was supposed to go to Valinor if you die, wouldn’t that rip them apart” I asked

Elrond didn’t make me feel stupid for asking questions. He was very patient and didn’t patronize me when he spoke. “Elven Fëar are tied to Arda. That includes Middle Earth as well as the Undying Lands. As they remain a part of this world, their Fëa are not separated. The partner who did not pass will always still feel the Fëa of the other… It can be a comfort as well as a heartache”

“I can imagine”

Elrond’s facial expression didn’t betray anything as he spoke. However the way he paused suggested that he was concealing his own emotions. That’s when I remembered that Elrond had personal experience with what he was describing. His wife may not have died but she was no longer in Middle Earth. It must be hard. To be able to feel your other half with you everyday but you’re not able to see them. 

A brief silence fell between us. I took it as an opportunity to ask about what had been on my mind. “So, has there been any signs of my mother near Rivendell?” there wasn’t much hope in my voice as I already knew the answer.

Elrond’s expression was sympathetic “I’m afraid not, my Lady. As far as I know there has not been a sudden appearance of another elleth near here”

Even though I expected it, it still hurt not knowing where she was.

“If you could tell me more about her-and yourself for that matter- we may be able to determine more. Perhaps if we can figure out who you were when you first lived here, it may help us discover your naneth’s whereabouts.” Elrond said “She may have been returned closer to where she originally lived”

I guess that makes sense. A small hope grew in my chest. If I could discover anything about my past life, I may be able to find out about my family. Like, are they still here? Alive? or did they die alongside me but their Fëar went to the Undying Lands instead? 

“My mum’s name is Ellen” I started “But I realise that she was probably called something different here.” That’s probably not very helpful.

“That is probably true” Elrond paused “Though Elin is the Sindarin word for star. Perhaps the names are similar.”

I nodded, that made sense. “In the vision’s- sorry, memories- the people called me Liriel. That’s close to Leah, I guess.”

Elrond appeared pensieve, a hand reached up to his chin “Liriel? That is a Sindarin name, also. It is derived from the word for song”

With how much I loved to sing, the name fit me like a glove. Also I had a feeling that it was probably quite a common name. Elves had a penchant for singing too after all. That meant that it wouldn’t be a very good distinguishing factor for finding out who I was. 

What else could I tell him about me? “Er, In the other world I had a twin brother. I assume that we were still twins here”

The idea of Lachlan not actually being my twin didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t make sense for him to be anything else.

Elrond’s eyebrows rose dramatically. “Twins you say? Now twins can be quite a rare occurrence among our kind”

My eyebrows drew together “Don’t you have twin boys?”

Elrond let out a small chuckle “That I do. I was blessed to have them. Nevertheless they are still rare and may help us determine who your family is” Elrond looked down, appearing deep in thought. He aired some of his thoughts as he mused. “So your name is Liriel… you have a twin brother… only you and your naneth travelled to this other world…”

He pondered for several moments. Then suddenly his expression froze and his eyes widened.

“Elinneth?” he spoke barely above a whisper “No that can’t be”

I felt my breath catch in anticipation. Elinneth. Was that my mum’s name? Did he know my family? 

“Do you...Do you know who I was? Who my family is?”

Elrond’s shock face closed off when I spoke. “I cannot be sure. I would rather confer with others before telling you of my suspicions. Lest they be incorrect. I would not wish to bring you sadness if I am wrong”

My heart dropped.

It made sense but I was so desperate to know.

Elrond composed himself quickly and stood up in one fluid motion. “We have spoken for quite some time and I assume you would like to see your companions”

“Yes please” I said, quickly standing up. Even though I wanted Elrond to tell me more, I was desperate to see my friends. 

To see Kili

Elrond offered me his arm and I looped mine through it. He began leading us out of the room. My head only came up to his shoulder. I guess I had to get used to being the shortest elf ever. 

Rivendell was magnificent. Everything seemed very organic and the buildings flowed along the valley. The sun was now higher up in the sky. Creeping over the cliff, sending slanted beams of light across the ground. Gardens sprouted up from everywhere. Overflowing with flowers. Elrond was leading me on a path that I had no hope of following on my own.

The more we walked, the more nervous I became. How could I face the dwarves knowing what I had caused? Would they hate me? I tried to control my breathing so as not to clue in Elrond to my internal panic. We came to a covered stone bride. The sunlight now illuminating everything. Including the figure standing in the middle of it, looking out into the water below.

Thorin

Upon seeing him, my composure started to crumble. I had gotten his nephew killed. What would he even say to me? He turned around as he heard us approach. When he made eye contact with me I immediately broke down.

“I. I’m s.so sorry, Thorin” I gasped out, taking my arm out of Elrond’s. I wanted to move towards Thorin but at the same time I was scared to.

Thorin was immediately taken aback. Confusion clear on his face.

“I think I will leave you to your conversation” I heard Elrond say before footsteps trailed in the opposite direction.

Thorin glared at the receding Elrond before turning back towards me. Once his attention was back on me I was overcome with the need to apologise again “I’m sorry. It was all my fault”

Thorin walked over to me, grabbing both of my shoulders. “Leah what do you mean?”

“It’s m.my fault he  _ died” _ I could barely get the word out “If, if it wasn’t for m.me he would be fine”

“Leah, you are speaking nonsense. Kili is  _ alive _ because of you” Thorin’s voice was full of emotion “ _ You  _ saved him. My nephew, my own flesh and blood died before my eyes. But you brought him back. I owe you more than you could ever know”

Then Thorin was crushing me to him with a hug “Thank you” he whispered.

A sob broke through once more. He shouldn’t be hugging me, he should be screaming at me.

“But in the story Kili was never harmed here. He died because I was there”

Thorin stood back so that he could look me in the eyes. “Nothing is written in stone, not even this ‘story’. Things have already changed as we did not in fact get captured by trolls as you said we would. Your story is only one version of events that could happen. Thousands of changes could happen with or without you.” he said “From what I saw, Kili died defending a member of  _ my _ company. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the filth that hunted us down. Do you understand?”

I stared at Thorin’s face, dumbfounded. He was being sincere, he truly didn’t blame me for what happened. Even after I told him I was responsible. 

Maybe he was right.

I shouldn’t be putting all the blame on myself. Even though my presence changed things, it was still the orcs that had caused it. Coming to this realisation felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest. I nodded to Thorin to show that I understood.

“Good” he breathed “Now I assume you want to see Kili”

* * *

Thorin led me over the bridge into another garden. He pointed down a different path and told me that that was where the rest of them were currently staying. They had been offered lodgings inside but most of the dwarves had refused. Prefering to band together. He told me that he and a few others had stayed in a room while Kili and I were seen to, though. I wonder if any of them visited me when I was unconscious. Then again they may not have been allowed to.

Thorin didn’t take me down the path he pointed out. Instead he veered to the left. Around the corner there lay another garden-there are seriously so many gardens in this place I don’t envy the gardeners-with a small river skirting around the side. At the end stood a white, stone gazebo. The surface had an orangey hue as the morning sun reflected off the surface. Standing in the middle were two silhouettes. As we got closer I realised who they were. Fili and Kili were in deep conversation with one another. So deep that they hadn’t noticed our arrival. Kili’s back was towards me so I was yet to see his face.

When we were close enough to see them I nearly froze. So overcome with emotion. He was here. Alive. Fili was the first one to notice Thorin and I. His eyes went wide when he saw me. Without hesitation, he bounded over and wrapped his arms around me. I was momentarily shocked, not expecting the hug. Then I wrapped my own arms around him.

“You have no idea how grateful I am, Leah” He mumbled into my ear. I could hear the emotion he was trying to hold back.

After a few more seconds he let go. I don’t think it was by his own choice though; Thorin’s hand was on Fili’s shoulder. “How about we go and help Balin sort out supplies?” Thorin gestured with his head back down the path.

I realised then that he was letting Kili and I be alone together. Butterflies had worked themselves into a frenzy in my stomach. I’d still yet to look Kili in the face. Fili nodded to Thorin and stepped out of the way. Kili appeared from behind him. He looked the same as ever. No pale skin, no blood. His soft brown eyes-brimming with emotion-met mine. All breath seemed to leave me and my face crumpled.

“Kili”I whispered, voice cracking.

I was instantly moving, flinging myself into Kili’s arms. If he wasn’t a dwarf, with a low centre of gravity, we might have gone flying. But he caught me and grabbed me to him. I clung onto him so tightly. My knuckles went white as I clenched the material of his shirt. Tears were falling down my face and landing on his shirt.

“You’re alive, you’re alive” I said, more for myself than anything else.

Kili stepped back slightly and brought his hands up to my face. Being so close to him, the feeling of his heartbeat next to mine was nearly overwhelming. The bond binding us together seemed to increase in strength. I never wanted to be apart from him. Kili wiped a tear with the pad of his thumb.

“I’m alive because of you Leah” His eyes roamed my face, trying to drink me all in.

“I thought I’d lost you” the words were barely above a whisper. Memories of the pain I felt began bubbling back to the surface. I thought I would never see him again. The pain had been like a lance to the heart.

“I’m not going anywhere now” he smiled “You’re stuck with me forever”

I laughed through the tears. My chest tightened with the words I wanted to say to him. The words I needed to say. I lifted my hand up so that it rested on his cheek. He leaned into the contact with no hesitation, his own hand covering mine. He was so beautiful, I felt my breath catch.

“I…” I began, nerves trying to get the better of me. Squashing them down, I persevered.

“I love you, Kili” a smile stretched across my face “I, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But I love you. So so much”

Kili stopped breathing for a moment. Shock clear on his face. I could feel his heartbeat picking up alongside mine. Then his face broke out into the happiest smile I had ever seen. As if I had given him everything he ever wanted.

“I love you, Leah” he breathed “Menu tessu amrâlimê”

My heart exploded with his words. He loved me. He loved me back. I was overcome with the sudden urge to close the distance between us. To feel his lips on my own. I didn’t have to wait long as Kili had leaned in before I had gotten the chance. His lips were soft against mine and I melted into the kiss. My hands moved to the back of his head as our lips moved together. Holding him to me, wanting to be as close as possible. Kissing him felt like nothing else I’d ever experienced. It felt right. It felt like coming home. Like my soul had been calling out for him. The bond was alive and flickering rapidly between us. Feeling Kili’s heart next to mine seemed to amplify my own feelings.

When we broke apart I was breathless and more than a little giddy. It felt like I would never stop smiling. He leaned his forehead against my own and we stood there, breathing each other in.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” he looked up at me with heated eyes.

“Maybe, we should do it again” I replied, leaning back in.

He was just as eager as I was as he grabbed my face and closed the rest of the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a kiss when they're both sober
> 
> Obviously I'm changing the canon up a bit. It doesn't say whether elf souls join together when they marry but it seems like something they would do. Elves are odd that way.


	21. I see my soul flying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really a big fan of this chapter. It feels really disjointed but I don't really know how to fix it.

We sat next to each other on a stone bench, still under the roof of the gazebo. The sun was now well and truly risen and I could see people starting to wander through Rivendell. Obviously we had to stop kissing at one point. We couldn’t do it all day, no matter how much I would like to. Thorin was yet to return though so we still got some time to enjoy each other’s company.

My hand was firmly in Kili’s grasp. He was tracing patterns across the back of it with his other hand. He levelled me with an intense gaze, his pupils wide. Then he slowly brought me hand up to kiss face and kissed the back of it. The way he looked at me, mixed with the deliberate gesture, made my heart race.

And he knew it.

I could tell he had noticed because a smirk spread across his face. My stupid heart would always betray me when I got flustered now. It wasn’t fair.

“Now I can tell exactly how much I affect you” He said with the self-satisfied grin still on his face.

Oh no I was not having him be all smug. Two can play at this game.

With a smile of my own, I leaned forward. His eyes widened as I approached. My lips brushed the top of his cheek. Just above his beard. It wasn’t just a quick peck either. I let my lips linger there for a few seconds before leaning back. His heart reacted instantly, racing along with my own.

“It works both ways, Loser” I smiled.

“I guess it does”

I wasn’t sure how much Kili knew about this new bond between us. It felt like a good time to discuss the ramifications of my actions.

“Soo, has anyone told you anything about this…” I motioned between the two of us “...thing between us”

“Er yeah, Gandalf told me” his eyebrows drew together and his tone was concerned “So if one of us dies then so will the other”

“Basically, yeah”

“Thorin was not impressed when he found out. He nearly banned me from continuing on with the quest” said Kili

“Seriously? What does that say about me? Does he think I’m going to get us both killed or something?”

“I think it was more the added danger. Instead of one person getting hurt it would be both of us” he mused “And maybe the fact that I had died earlier that day didn’t help matters”

I screwed my eyes tight. I did not need to be reminded of that event.

“Did Gandalf also tell you that you’re technically immortal now?” I said, wanting to change the subject.

Kili’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth fell open “He most certainly did not! What do you mean?” Kili’s voice was incredulous.

“Yeah, Lord Elrond said that if none of us get killed then you will live as long as I do” I muttered “And seeing as I’m an elf…”

“I’m going to live as long as an elf!” he exclaimed. I couldn’t tell whether he was happy about it or not. His tone was simply full of surprise more than anything. “This is a lot to take in”

“Tell me about it” I chuckled. He wasn’t the only one to be surprised by sudden immortality after all.

Kili laughed too. It felt like we were in on our own private joke.

“Apparently dying is something we have in common” I said, looking down at our hands.

“What?”

“They told me that I’m from this world originally. The weird visions that I was having were actually memories coming back. I’ve always had nightmares about a monster hurting me but now I know that it actually happened. It wasn’t just something my mind made up. At some point I was killed by an orc and my soul was sent to another world”

Kili squeezed my hand. “Gandalf told us that you were from Middle Earth but I didn’t realise that that meant you had been killed here”

“Me and Mum I think”

“Ellen too?” said Kili

I nodded. Kili shook his head and mumbled something about orcs under his breath. Then I leaned down and rested my head against Kili’s shoulder. He leaned in closer too, his cheek sitting on the top of my head. We lapsed into a comfortable silence, watching the city of Rivendell wake up around us.

Kili then looked down at our joined hands. He began tracing patterns there once more. His gaze seemed to be far away when I looked up at him. Then he reached into the pocket of his trousers and removed something. He kept it tight in his fist so that I couldn’t see what it was. His heart rate had picked up as he did it. I sat up so that I could see him better.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you… for a while now.” he started, a light pink dusted his cheeks. “I don’t even know where to begin”

I let him take his time, though my stomach flipped in anticipation. He took a few deep breaths before looking back up at me. “I don’t know about elves… or men… or people from your other world but dwarves have this… thing”

“Thing?”

“Let me finish” he said. There a smile on his face but he was clearly exasperated.

“Dwarves have this thing called a One...It’s like the one person you are supposed to be with. You are made to be with this one person.”

My breath caught in my throat. I knew what a One was. It was like the dwarven version of soul mates.

“...and I found out that you were mine” Kili looked like he was holding his breath. Waiting for me to say something.

I was his One.

My heart soared at the news. The flips my stomach was doing also seemed to increase. So not only were our souls now connected, they were also made for each other in the first place?

“Really?” I breathed, a smile stretching across my face.

“Yes, Leah. You are my One” The relief on his face was palpable, as if he was finally happy I knew.

A warm feeling spread across my chest when he said it.

“How do you ‘find out’ that someone is your One?” Did they just suddenly ‘know’? Surely there was something that clued them in. A trigger of sorts.

An amused chuckle fell from Kili’s mouth. He was looking at me as if he knew something that I didn’t. “Er, a dwarf finds out someone is their One when they… kiss for the first time.” Kili coughed “A feeling runs through you and you just  _ know _ that they are your One”

“Wait, what? You find out when you kiss?”

“Yes” his eyes were crinkled in clear amusement.

“But we literally only just kissed!” I sputtered “You said you had been wanting to tell me this for a while now. How is that possible?”

“Weeell, that wasn’t actually our  _ first _ kiss.” Kili divulged

“I think I’d remember if we’d kissed before!” I’d been wanting to kiss Kili for ages I wouldn’t just forget something like that.

“You were very drunk at the time. I was carrying you back to your room because you could barely walk. Then you grabbed me and kissed me. I nearly dropped you” he laughed.

Oh. My. God. I was mortified. My cheeks had gone redder than they ever had before. I buried my face in my hands. Refusing to meet Kili’s amused gaze. I remember the night he was talking about. When I had taken Kili dancing. He had been rather flustered the next day and I had thought it was because I had touched his hair. Turns out I had pretty much accosted the guy in the middle of the night.

“I’m so sorry” I mumbled into my hands.

I could feel Kili shaking with laughter next to me. “Why are you sorry, it was rather nice”

As I went to pull my hands away, I felt the string of my bracelet tap against my face. I turned my hand around so that I could look at it properly. The runes were still a mystery to me.

“I’m guessing this doesn’t say penis then” I joked

“No it does not” his laughing had calmed down.

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. “It says amrâlimê, it means love of mine in khuzdul”

I gave Kili’s shoulder a shove “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. No wonder I got such strange looks from the other dwarves who saw it”

Mani had insinuated that I must have been ‘very close’ with the person who made the bracelet. Now I understood why.

“Technically” he elongated the word “This could be seen as a courting gift. Other dwarves would see it as such, mainly because it was handmade”

I gave Kili another shove. Nearly pushing him off the bench. I can’t believe this boy. “You gave me a courting gift and didn’t tell me! This whole time I’ve been wondering if you liked me the same way that I liked you and it turns out you asked me out ages ago” I breathed hard down my nose.

Kili’s demeanor turned nervous, as if he was scared that I was angry with him. “I wanted to tell you. I was going to but then a lot of other things happened. Like me being sent back to Middle Earth for six months without you”

Touché

I couldn’t really be angry with him. I was more exasperated than anything else. He wasn’t the only one that had been too scared to air their feelings after all.

“I wanted to court you properly,” he explained.

The way he said ‘court’ made me smile. It sounded like something from a classic romance novel.

“Certain people have made it difficult for me to actually ask you” I knew he meant Thorin. He was always eyeing us from across the camp, making sure we weren’t alone together.

Kili extended his closed hand towards me. He unfurled his fingers to reveal it’s contents. In his palm sat two identical beads. Like the ones the dwarves wore in their hair. Except these ones glowed with a strange ethereal quality. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Where did he get them from?

“When I died, I went to Mahals halls. It’s where all dwarves go when they die… I saw my  _ Adad _ ” his voice broke slightly on the last word.

My heart skipped a beat. I hadn’t really thought about where Kili had gone when he died. The only thought I had was bringing him back. But Middle Earth had actual heavens for the people in this world. Did he really see his dad there? I can’t imagine how that must have felt.

“He was exactly the same” Kili smiled though his eyes looked kind of misty “These are what he gave me before I left. They’re courting beads you see. You where them to signify that you are courting one another”

I struggled to form words. His dad had given him courting beads for us. “Does this mean that your dad approves of me then?”

“I guess it does” Kili laughed

Kili then grabbed onto both of my hands and tilted his body so that he was facing me fully.

“Leah Orrison. Would you provide me the greatest honour of accepting this courting bead” His face was open and vulnerable, showing me everything he felt.

“Of course I accept”

* * *

The bead had to be braided into the others hair. Down the right side of the face. Kili made quick work of undoing my hair from its fishtail braid. His fingers were sure but I could tell that he was still nervous. His heart was beating as fast as mine.

A comb magically appeared in his hand, from one of his many pockets. He brushed through my hair until there was no tangles. Then he took a section of hair and began braiding. The braid extended to the entire length of my hair. Which was rather long now and reached my lower back. Kili finished the braid by clasping the bead to the end of it. The sight of the braid in my hair made my chest tighten with emotion.

Then it was my turn. I was a lot less confident in my braiding abilities than Kili was. Thankfully, Kili was good natured about it and didn’t make me feel bad when I had to keep re-doing the braid. I wanted it to be perfect after all. Kili had to show me how to get the bead into his hair but once that was done we were sporting matching braids.

We both smiled brightly at each other. Then Kili came closer and kissed me once more. It made me breathless again. Experimentally I gave the bond a tug. Kili gasped and his eyes widened almost comically. It made me giggle.

Until he did the same back and the sensation shocked me.

After that we realised that we probably should return to the others. We couldn’t stay in our secluded corner forever, as much as we wanted to. Kili led the way to where the rest of the dwarves were staying. They had taken up a pavilion for their campsite. They had officially made it their own as they had started to break the furniture for firewood.

The dwarves were very excited when they saw Kili and I make our way over. They came over and greeted me with happy faces. I got hugs from a few of them as well.

“Leah, it’s good to see ye up and about” said Bofur “Ye were as floppy as a fish last time a saw ye”

He leaned in and gave me a hug. His hat hit me in the face as he did so. I didn’t mind though and laughed it off. The dwarves could be very affectionate when they wanted to be. 

When Bofur broke off the hug, his eyes zeroed in on my new braid. A triumphant grin spread across his face. “Oi Dwalin ye lost, pay up”

Dwalin grumbled something under his breath before tossing Bofur a small bag of coins. More bags began flying across the room from some of the others too. 

“What is this all about?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

Bofur began counting his new winnings “We made bets about whether Kili would actually ask to court ye or not”

My cheeks warmed slightly. I can’t believe they were betting behind my back.

“Dwalin why did you bet against me?!” Kili asked, affronted.

“Well ye’ve been pissing about for long enough, I thought ye’d carry on the same” Dwalin replied, unaffected by Kili being insulted.

Kili’s cheeks turned pink and he grumbled something in Khuzdul. The other dwarves started laughing.

* * *

The dwarves caught me up on what had happened while I was in a mini coma. Apparently they had all banded together and refused dinner with the elves until I was better. That meant that they hadn’t had the dinner with Elrond yet. They also told me about their frustrations. The elves had refused to let anyone see me while I was unconscious. Bifur nearly knocked the door down trying to see if I was okay. It was heartwarming, knowing that they cared about me.

I was sat crossed legged on the floor, next to Bilbo. He had looked up at me with astonishment when he first saw me. Like I was some kind of mystical creature rather than just Leah. He’d said that what I had done was the most amazing and powerful things he’d ever seen. I had gone a bit red when he said that; I didn’t feel particularly powerful.

“So it turns out I’m actually from Middle Earth originally” I stated.

A few bemused faces turned towards me. So not everyone was told then.

“What do ye mean lass?” said Bofur from where he was lounging across a bench, pipe between his teeth.

“I was born here, died, got sent to another world and then came back” I said very matter-of-factly.

“Durin’s beard! That’s quite something, lass” said Bofur

“It means I can’t be turned back human because technically I was an elf first anyway”

“That’s a real shame lass” said Dwalin from the corner “Just when I was warming up to ye”

“Hey, I can’t help it” I chuckled. Secretly, I was ecstatic that he said he was warming up to me. I’ll befriend all these dwarves if its the last thing I do. 

Thorin, Fili and Balin showed up after a little while. They had been sorting some supplies out. I’m surprised they actually were because I was certain Thorin had said it to Fili so that Kili and I could have some alone time. Apparently it was genuine. When they came back, I could tell by Thorin’s face that he wasn’t impressed with something. Turned out it was because we had all been invited to lunch with the elves. Thorin had wanted to decline the invitation but did not wish for Gandalf’s wrath if he refused.

Lunch was to be eaten in a lovely, open courtyard. Tables had been found that would fit the dwarves shorter stature. That meant that they were all mismatched with different shapes and designs. Like a hipster cafe that was trying to be chic with no matching furniture. At the top stood a round table that looked like the only one that was supposed to be there. That was where Elrond was sitting. The elves were playing music around the courtyard to entertain us while we ate. Which I adored. Someone was even playing the harp,which is one of the coolest instruments ever.

Originally, I had intended to sit next to Kili. However, when I approached the table, I was called over by Elrond. I gave Kili a small smile and made my way over. His table consisted of Gandalf, Thorin and a blonde elf I’d never seen before

“Lady Leah, I would like you to join us,” said Elrond “There is someone I wish to introduce you to”

I assumed he was talking about tall, blonde and mysterious. The only other seat available was next to the stranger so I sat down quickly.

Elrond motioned to the blonde stranger on his left “This here is Glorfindel. He has kindly volunteered to help tutor you with your healing abilities”

My eyes widened almost comically. Holy shit this is  _ the  _ Glorfindel. The elf that had killed Balrogs and come back from the dead. His powers were supposed to rival that of a Maiar. Like a demi-god. He was like the elf version of Hercules. If I remember correctly, he was the one who would heal Frodo when he was stabbed by the Witchking of Angmar. His healing abilities must be outstanding. And he wanted to teach me?

“ Th.Thank you that would be amazing” I stuttered out.

Glorfindel gave me a blinding smile “I look forward to teaching you Lady Leah” he took a sip from his goblet “I’ve heard great things”.

I tried to smile back but I could feel my cheeks warming. The attention made me nervous and I began to feel apprehensive about whatever ‘lessons’ I was going to have. What if I sucked?

Once the food started coming out I dug in straight away. Needing to keep my hands and mouth busy. The food was amazing. There may not have been any meat bt that did not mean that it was in any way bad. It was one of the best salads I’d ever eaten. With sundried tomatoes, olives and sharp cheese. It was heavenly. The dwarves however didn’t seem to think so. I could hear their complaining from where I sat. It made me giggle. Could they not stomach a salad for one meal in their life?

Elrond kindly identified all of the swords for us. When he did Thorin turned to look at me. I could only guess at what the look meant but it seemed to acknowledging that I had been right. The swords were great weapons after all. It made up for nearly getting killed to get them.

After that the dinner descended into a free-for-all as Bofur decided to sing his own song and everyone else thought it was the perfect time to throw food around. I had to duck so that I wouldn’t get hit by a flying bread roll. I’m pretty sure it was Fili that threw that one.

* * *

I was very nervous when it came to my first lesson with Glorfindel. He had sent a note to my room about where and when to meet him. However as I had no idea where anything was in this place I had to ask for help. Which came in the form of a very kind elf who had been tending to one of the gardens. They guided me through the maze of Rivendell and delivered me to where I needed to go. I suppressed a frown when they called me little one and patted me on the head.

The room was open on three sides. Bookshelves lined the back wall and a round table sat in the centre. Glorfindel was sitting at the table leafing through a book when I walked in. He smiled when he saw me and made to get up. Then he walked over to me and extended his hand towards me.

I had to crane my neck just so I could see his face. “Jesus christ you are tall” I blurted out without thinking. The guy had to be like 7ft tall.

“Or are you simply small” he said with a smirk.

I realised that his hand was still extended and I went to shake it. “I’m not that short”

“Says the elleth that barely comes up to my chest”

It was true but he didn’t have to say it.

Glorfindel then guided me to the table and we both sat down. He sat across from me so that I was fully facing him.

“So how much do you know about these powers, my lady” said Glorfindel

I looked down at my hands “Absolutely nothing. They just sort of…” I made an explosion gesture with my hands “Do their own thing. I’ve not really had any control over it”

Glorfindel was listening intently “What experiences have you had with it so far?”

“Er well I brought someone back to life...so there’s that” I said “But I also blasted a troll in the face and it turned to stone… and I think I burned someone” My eyebrows drew together “I thought these were supposed to be healing powers, why have they also done that?”

Glorfindel didn’t look surprised by my confession. As if he was expecting it. “Yes that is to be expected. In its raw form the power you possess can be quite impressive. If the intention for healing is not there then the magic can react differently. Causing harm rather then stopping it. That is one of the reasons Lord Elrond has asked me to help you. You seem to possess a greater ability than most so it is imperative you learn to control it. Lest you hurt someone you wish to heal”

“I would like to avoid that” I murmured, the idea of accidentally hurting someone more was scary.

We started off by simply trying to get my magic to start at will. So far I've only been able to do it when I was under a lot of stress. I needed to be able to use the magic and stop it when I wanted it to. Not to let it overwhelm me like I had done with Kili. I couldn’t put too much power into the healing or I would drain all my energy. Or hurt the person I was trying to help. So learning control was of the utmost importance.

“The power resides within you, always” Glorfindel explained “Usually it lays dormant until you need to use it. You need to draw the power out and into your hands” Glorfindel showed me his hands palm side up. After a few moments a pale glow began to emanate from them.

“Visualising it may help you bring out the magic. Close your eyes and place your hands on the table.” Glorfindel motioned.

I did as he said, shifting slightly so that I was more in line with the table.

“Right now I need you to visualise a magical energy that sits in your core”

Frowning, I tried my best. What was it supposed to look like? Was I supposed to just imagine? If that’s the case then I’m going to make it blue and sparkly. It was a little difficult to concentrate at first because the connection between Kili and I was distracting me. I could definitely feel that, which was making it hard for me to look for anything else.

In any case, I imagined there was a blue sparkly magic coiled inside my core. Moving around like a liquid. It felt a little silly at first, however, at one point I swear I could feel a vague electric-y sensation.

“Good, now I want you to imagine that magic travelling away from your core and down your arms. You need to pool the magic into your hands”

Easier said than done. I tried to imagine the magic moving down my arms, I could see it in my mind but I knew it wasn’t actually happening in real life. The vibration of magic stayed resolutely in my stomach, refusing to move. It felt like there was a mental block of sorts. Maybe it was because I’d spent most of my life thinking that magic wasn't real. Some part of me was still skeptical, refusing to believe I could accomplish such a thing. The small doubt was stopping me from achieving anything.

Scrunching my eyes up, I began putting more effort in. Trying to push the magic where I wanted it to go. A slight tugging sensation had the magic lifting upwards. However, my excitement caused it to stop as soon as it started. For Fuck sake.

_ I was sat on my bed. The sheets had been balled up so that I could sit in my own little nest. Only I was allowed in. In my nest sat a wooden horse and a cloth doll. They were my patients for the day. Nana had told me about her days as a healer and I wanted to be just like her. I’d seen her heal a few times. Like when I’d fallen from a tree and cut my knee. Her hands had glowed and then the cut was gone. _

_ The wooden horse had a ‘broken leg’ that I needed to fix. I felt the magic swirling in my belly. That was what I needed to use. If I concentrated hard enough I could make it move. The sensation made me giggle as it moved down my arms and into my hands. They glowed like nana’s had. _

_ A triumphant grin spread across my face. _

_ “Healer Liriel at your service” _

I breathed in sharply through my nose as the memory washed over me. My mind was suddenly overcome with information that hadn’t been there before. Just like with the horse riding, I suddenly knew exactly what I needed to do. The magic obeyed me readily as I encouraged it to move into my hands. It settled there and began vibrating with that strange energy again. A bright light was making its way in through my closed eyes.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. They were glowing brightly and felt rather warm. They also tingled as the magic concentrated in one spot.

“Excellent work” said Glorfindel.

I beamed at his praise.

We spent the next half an hour making sure I could repeat the process again and again. Turning it off was easier than turning it back on again. Soon, I got the knack of it though and was glowing with the best of them. I was so proud of myself. I’d done actual magic, how cool is that?

Over the course of two weeks Glorfindel taught me the intricacies of healing a wound. My magic had to find the illness and reverse its effects. He gave me dying plants to test out my skills. On the first one I had put too much magic into it and the poor plant had burned. After a few more though I got the hang of it. My magic could feel where the plants were wilting and would give them the push they needed to spring back to full health. Sometimes the plant would bloom larger than it had before. Bigger plants required more energy from me but I didn’t pass out like I had with Kili.

When Glorfindel was more confident in my abilities, the madman had taken a dagger and cut a line across the back of his arm. A red line of blood oozed out from the wound. He didn’t even seem fazed by it and simply told me it heal the cut. I may have freaked out a little. It’s not everyday someone thrusts a bleeding wound in your face and tells you to heal it. 

Gingerly, I took his arm into my hands and willed power into them. My magic sunk under his skin. It felt weirdly invasive but I persevered. The light travelled up his arm towards the cut. I could feel his tendons and bones, muscles and arteries. It could get overwhelming if I didn’t concentrate. I directed the light towards the damaged skin. The wound glowed slightly but it didn’t have enough energy to reseal. Gritting my teeth, I gave it a little more. Then the blood stopped trickling out and the skin knit back together.

I was a little breathless when I finished. Using more energy than I had done before. His arm was as good as new. Smiling, I looked up at Glorfindel. Hoping he was proud of me. Thankfully he was and clapped me on the shoulder. It felt good to do something right.

* * *

We had to stay in Rivendell until the moonlight was exactly right so that the map could be read. It had been two weeks since we arrived and Lord Elrond said that it was time. However we obviously had to wait until night fell. Which left Thorin very restless. He kept pacing with his arms crossed. Grumbling under his breath and glaring at any elf he saw. He really wasn’t a fan of elves.

“Pacing won’t make the time go any faster, Thorin” said Balin, from the chair he was perched in. He had a monocle and was leafing through documents.

Thorin stopped moving and brought his arms down “I’m not pacing, I’m walking” he said, defensively.

“Walking usually means ye end up in a different place than ye started” Balin said, raising his eyebrows.

“Thank you for the helpful definition, Balin” Thorin grumbled sarcastically.

Thorin then turned and wandered further into the garden. Away from where everyone else was sitting. He looked like he was about to resume his pacing when he was interrupted by a very excitable hobbit bounding into the garden. Bilbo nearly collided with Thorin but managed to stop himself in time. A red blush spread across his cheeks but he was still smiling.

“Look what I found” said Bilbo, extending his hand so that Thorin could see.

A flower was held delicately in his grasp. It’s petals were a deep orange and pointed outwards. “It’s a fire lily!” Bilbo exclaimed, “They’re exceptionally rare, I’ve never actually seen one. I remember Old Tom Brandybuck saying that he had one but we all knew that he’d just painted over the petals of his regular lilies. It’s a shame because they wilted nearly straight away”

“I..I see” said Thorin, momentarily taken aback. His eyes never left the flower outstretched towards him.

Bilbo continued on, too excited to noticing Thorin’s reaction. “I saw some elves tending the gardens and went over to ask for some tips. Then I saw these and I was amazed. Before I even asked they let me take one. Told me I could take the seeds for my own garden”

“That’s... very…  _ nice _ of them.” Thorin said, before taking a step backwards “Excuse me, Master Burglar”

Thorin then turned and left the garden completely. Leaving a very confused Bilbo in his wake. “Did I say something wrong?” said Bilbo, self-consciously.

“No Master Baggins, he’s just a little tense with dealing with the elves. Probably went to clear his head” said Balin. Though there was a look in his eye that suggested he wasn’t being entirely truthful.

Bilbo didn’t see that though and simply sighed with relief “Oh that’s alright then”

I could hear Kili trying to suppress a laugh next to me. His eyes were crinkled and his lips were pursed to stop himself from laughing out loud  “What’s so funny?” I asked quietly so that Bilbo wouldn’t hear.

“Thorin getting flustered” he giggled. Fili next to him was also having a difficult time containing a smile.

“Flustered?” that’s one word for it “But why would he be flustered?”

“Bilbo offered him a flower” said Fili. He said it in such a way as if I should immediately understand the significance.

At my blank look Kili stepped in. “In dwarven customs, people sometimes offer flowers as a way to ask you to court them”

“I see”

So Thorin got all flustered because he thought Bilbo was asking him out? He must have known that it wasn’t Bilbo’s intention. Yet he was still aback by the presence of the flower.

With a start, I realised that this situation shared a lot of similarities with another. “Wait, I gave you an origami flower. Are you telling me that I accidentally asked you to court me?”

“Yes you did actually” Kili laughed “I was rather shocked when it happened”

My cheeks went red “I can’t believe it,” I muttered “No wonder you started blushing”

Fili started laughing. “Was he like some blushing dam?”

“No. Shut up Fili” Kili punched his brother in the arm but it only made him laugh harder

* * *

Night fell and they finally left to go see Lord Elrond. I had Kili escort me back to my room. As much as I liked the dwarves company I was not giving up a bed for them. Not when I wouldn’t get to sleep on a mattress for god knows how long after we left. The only downside was that I wouldn’t be able to be close to Kili at night. Sometimes he’d stay and talk to me for a little while. I could tell that he wanted to stay but I knew that someone would tan his hide if he did. In this world courting couples were supposed to have chaperones. So that nothing ‘unbecoming’ should occur between the two. The only reason I’d managed to be alone with Kili now, was because Thorin and Balin had gone to the meeting. No one else was around to reprimand us.

The door to my room appeared around the corner. When we got to the door Kili gave my hand-that he had been holding- a squeeze. I turned towards him with a loving smile.

“Thank you for escorting me, good sir,” I said.

“You are welcome, my lady” he grinned.

There was a brief silence as we both didn’t want him to go. Kili raised my hand and kissed the back of it. “Goodnight Leah”

I needed a better goodbye kiss than that. My eyes flicked down to Kili’s lips. A grin spread across his face when he saw where I was looking. I didn’t wait for him this time, instead I dove straight in and kissed him.  It was only supposed to be a quick peck but my body had other ideas. The kiss deepened and I made a small noise at the back of my throat. My back hit the door and I gasped into Kili’s mouth. I felt his lips pull into a grin.

A sudden sound of footsteps arose from somewhere to our left and I quickly separated from Kili. He hadn’t heard the sound yet and looked a little put out by me moving away. Then he heard it too and jumped back a little. Smoothing out his shirt. The intruder turned out to be an elf woman making her way through the building. She gave us a quick smile before continuing on. When she left, we both descending into giggles. It made me feel like a highschooler again. Getting caught doing something you’re not supposed to.

“I should probably say goodnight” I said, quietly

“Goodnight Leah” his lips ghosted over mine once more. This time he leaned back before it could escalate.

Then he finally turned to leave. I stayed until he was completely out of sight before making my way inside. A smile spread across my face. I truly loved him so much.

The bed was looking very inviting. I’d exerted a lot of energy during my lesson today. My muscles long for me to lie down. That’s why I’d asked Kili to bring me back to my room so early. A nightdress was laid out for me across my bed. I went to remove my clothes and put them on. 

_ “Hello my dear” _

Sweet Jesus! I made a strange squeaking noise. My hands quickly dropped my dress back down. What the fuck was that?

_ “Do not be afraid. I simply wish to talk” _

It took me a second to realise that the voice was coming from my own head. That’s not creepy at all. The only person I knew with those powers was Lady Galadriel.

_ “That would be correct”  _ her voice seemed amused.

I wasn’t amused, she’d interrupted me getting dressed.

_ “There is a garden. I would be grateful if you met me there” _

Suddenly the path to a garden rose up in my mind. Even though I’d never been there, I now knew how to get to it. It was like she had bluetoothed me a map straight into my head. The feeling was rather eerie.

Even though Lady Galadriel framed it like I had a choice in the matter I knew that there was no way that I would refuse her summons. Hurriedly, I left my room and made my way towards the mystery garden. My internal gps would ping occasionally and point me in the right direction. The moon was large and bright above me. That meant that the path was lit up at least.

I knew I had found the correct garden because the person residing in it seemed to glow. Her beauty was ethereal. It definitely screamed Lady Galadriel. She smiled kindly when she saw me. It took my breath away for a second.

“Hello” I said, meekly

“Mae govannen, my dear.” she said, her voice was like a song “Mithrandir has been telling me all about you. I thought it best to meet you for myself”

She looked at me as if she could see straight through to my soul. Then again, she could. “You are quite the mystery, it seems. Secreted away into another world only to return once more”

“It’s a little hard to get my head around really” I laughed nervously.

“I can imagine”

“Is, is there anything I can help you with?” I had no idea why she even wanted to see me in the first place.

“That remains to be seen,” she said “Though there may be something I can help you with”

She turned and began walking towards something in the centre of the garden. I followed along behind her. There was a stone circle in the middle of the grass. It looked like some kind of well. However, once I got closer I could see that it was more like a birdbath. With a shallow bowl in the centre. It was like the one frodo looked into in lord of the rings.

“You’ve seen one before. From your other world”

“Sort of yeah” Her mind reading ability was rather unnerving

Galadriel lifted up a silver jug from the side of the basin. “Mithrandir tells me that you are struggling to recall your first life here”

“I’ve only had little snippets,” I said.

She poured water out of the jug and into the basin below. The water glistened under the starlight. “This may help provide you with some answers. Though it is never exact it may illuminate parts of your past”

She brought me here so she could help me remember my past? That was very nice of her.

The ripples on the water began to dissipate and the surface became smooth, like glass. I could see myself reflected in the surface. Nothing happened to begin with and then an image began bubbling to the surface. It appeared to be ruins. A darkness encapsulated the whole area, suffocating everything below. A small being appeared around a corner. It’s hair was so matted and tangled you could hardly see its face. It was a dwarf, I realised. A half-crazed, very scared dwarf. They wandered through the ruins, always looking behind them. A hand braced against the wall and I could see that they were missing a finger.

With a gasp I realised who I was seeing. This wasn’t my past, this was Thrain. Thorin’s father. Quickly, I looked up to Galadriel. I knew why it had showed me Thrain. It was because Galadriel was one of the few people who could actually help him. She would go to Dol Guldur to save Gandalf. Maybe she could save Thrain too.

She raised a delicate eyebrow at me. “Thrain is alive” I blurted out.

Her face became intrigued. “He is?”

“He was taken prisoner and kept in Dol guldur” I rambled “There’s going to be a time when you could help him. If you can, please, would you try. He doesn’t deserve to be kept there”

“What reason would I have to go to such a place?” she said

“I, I don’t think I can say. I don’t want to accidentally change something for the worse” 

Her face was impassive as she looked at me. I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. “Usually it is I who provides cryptic clues about the future. It is rather a strange feeling to be on the receiving end of it” she smiled at me. 

“It was good to meet you, my dear,” she said, taking a step backwards “You should continue to look into the basin, it may still provide you with more answers”

Then she turned and left. It was more like gliding than walking really. I was left feeling quite lost and rather puzzled. That was one of the strangest encounters I’ve had. The garden also seemed to be darker with her gone. The increase in shadows made me feel nervous. Steeling my nerves, I made myself look back into the water. It took a second before I could clearly see the scene unfolding before me.

_ It was my mum. Her hair was tied back into a simple yet practical braid that fell down her back. The point of her ears could be seen as her hair was tucked behind them. It was a simple dress she was wearing, a light grey in colour. Specks of blood seemed to be covering the surface. _

_ “Put him over there” She said, her voice commanding and in control. _

_ An elf was carried over to her on a stretcher of some sort. They were placed on a table in front of my mum. The occupant made a pained noise at being moved.  _ I recognised the person on the table and I felt my throat tighten.  _ It was dad. Injured but alive. There were bruises across his body and his leg was bent at the wrong angle. He must have been in some kind of fight. _

_ Despite his injuries he still had a smile on his face. “I don’t see what the problem is, I’m perfectly Fi-AHH” his voice was cut off as my mum touched his injured leg. _

_ “Oh yes, perfectly fine. Other than the fact that your leg is broken in two places” my mum chastised him. _

_ “I need to get back out there, Adar needs me” Dad implored, trying to get back up _

_ Mum wasn’t having any of it and pushed him back. Not lightly either. Dad hit the table with a pained gasp. “You are not going anywhere” _

_ “Do you know who I am?” my dad grinned at my mum. Obviously not deterred by her commanding aura. _

_ “Of course,” she said, looking him directly in the eye “You’re my patient” _

_ My dad laughed again, it was cut off when she prodded his leg once more. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ My dad was no longer lying injured on a hospital bed. He was decked out in regal attire. The fabric was silver, like the stars he was under. He was looking down at someone with such love in his eyes. _

_ “Elinneth” he breathed _

_ My mum’s face appeared, looking up at dad. “Yes, Melamin” _

_ He brought his hands to her face. “Marry me” _

_ “Is that a statement or a question?” mum quirked an eyebrow. _

_ “Depends on your answer” Dad’s eyes never left mums face. He acted nonchalant but you could tell he was waiting with bated breath. _

_ Mum smiled up at my dad. It was the happiest I’d ever seen her. “Of course I’ll marry you” _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Mum was dressed in a long, lacey, white gown. She even seemed to glow. A crown of flowers was balanced delicately on her head. Dad had a crown of his own. His outfit was equally as extravagant, with silver embellishments down the middle and along the sleeves of his robe. They held each other’s hands. A beautiful silver ring rested on the index finger of their left hands. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Dad’s hand rested on my mum’s stomach. His face depicted pure adoration. _

_ “I’m going to be an Adar” _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Mum was resting on a large, ornate, four-poster bed. She was propped up by many pillows. Her face was pale and a light sheen of sweat coated her forehead. Her eyes were struggling to stay open. She was clearly exhausted. However, she seemed to be fighting it. Her gaze was drawn to a cot beside her. Inside lay two bundles. Babies, swaddled in blankets.  _ Me and Lachlan, I realised. Or whatever Lachlan was called in this world. 

_ We were lying next to one another. One was blissfully sleeping while the other was wriggling and looking around. Mum was singing softly to us. A lullaby.  _ The tune tugged on my mind and I found that I could recall it.

_ An Elven-maid there was of old, _

_ A shining star by day: _

_ Her mantle white was hemmed with gold, _

_ Her shoes of silver-grey. _

_ A star was bound upon her brows, _

_ A light was on her hair _

_ As sun upon the golden boughs _

_ In Lórien the fair. _

_ A pair of hands reached into the cot and brought out the baby that was awake. “Hello, tithien vin. Do you like your naneth’s singing?” said my dad. _

_ Mum looked up at him and blinked tiredly. Yet she still smiled and continued singing. The bundle in his arms continued to wriggle. “I think this one will love all things musical. Perhaps we should give her a name to match” he mused. _

_ “Liriel” my mum whispered. _

_ “Yes, it’s perfect” Dad reached out a finger and little me grasped it in a tiny fist. “Liriel” _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Scenes blew past and I only caught glimpses of them. Most of them were of Lachlan and I as we were growing up. Seeing him again, so happy, made my throat tighten once more. I didn’t realise I was crying until droplets disturbed the water surface. Quickly, I wiped the tears away. Scared that the memories would disappear if the water moved more. we were happy children. Learning to dance or ride a horse or fire an arrow. _

~Change~

_ The scene settled once more. Lachlan and I were nearly identical despite being a boy and a girl. It took a second for me to realise that it was me in the scene. I was kneeling down in a patch of dirt. Looking very sadly at a dying plant. The leaves had shrivelled and gone brown. Little me reached out and placed her hands on the ground, either side of the plants. For a second I simply stared intently at the plant. Then my hands began to glow, light seeping into the surrounding soil. The plant burst back to life, bright and green. _

_ Little me smiled ecstatically. “Nana, look what I did!” _

_ Mum was behind me, surveying other parts of the garden. She turned when she heard me call. “Wow, that’s amazing, darling. How did you do that?” her astonishment was genuine as she looked down at me.  _

_ ~Change~ _

_ There was a garden, teeming with life. It was an explosion of colour as flowers of all shades bloomed. There was no order to it. No neat little rows for the plants to fit in. Instead plants just sprung up from wherever. Like a child who had thrown plants together willy nilly. It also seemed that that was exactly what had happened. _

_ Little me stared proudly at the towering plants before her. Dad came up behind me and lifted me up, making me giggle. He held me on his hip. _

_ “You see this garden” he said _

_ I nodded. _

_ “You’re magic flows through it now. So that means that it will bloom for as long as you live” he looked so proud of me. _

_ “It’s going to live forever!” I exclaimed, happy as can be. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ “We are going to visit Imladris. Are you excited?” Mum looked down on my brother and I.  _

_ We were both jumping up and down, looking like we were ready to burst “Yes!” _

_ Mum helped us to get onto our horses. There was no need to share a horse as we apparently both knew how to ride by ourselves. A whole caravan of elves were coming with us. Some pulling carts ladened with supplies. We trotted along, through a thick forest. Staying close to where mum and dad were riding. _

_ I was too excited though, it seemed. My horse kept inching further and further away. “Liriel, we told you to stay close” my dad’s voice sounded very irritated. It was obviously not the first time he had said it. _

_ “I want to ride at the front” I moaned “Please, Ada” _

_ “I said no, you are to stay with us” _

_ My lower lip stuck out in a pout. _

_ “I’ll go with her. That way I can keep an eye on her” said my mum, trying to cheer me up. _

_ “Thank you nana!” I yelled, before pushing my horse into a gallop. _

_ “Liriel!” dad bellowed. _

_ Mum simply sighed and chased after me. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ It looked like the same night. Mum had caught up to me on her horse and was chastising me. Lectoring me about safety. Little me at least had the decency to look sorry about it.  _

_ There were fewer riders near the front so mum and I were pretty much on our own. Both of us were happily riding along before a look of panic descended across mum’s face. Before she could even react, a black arrow appeared out of nowhere. It landed deep within my horses neck. The horse collapsed below me, throwing me from the saddle. _

_ “LIRIEL!” _

_ My childlike scream cut through the night as I fell. Mum’s own horse reared up as she tried to get it to stop. In one smooth motion she flipped backwards off the horse so that she was on the ground.  _

_ More arrows were being shot at us. It was so dark it was like they were coming from the shadows. Then I saw them. Grotesque creatures with sharp teeth and talons. Orcs. Mum rushed towards me, taking a dagger out of her boot. It was only small but it was still deadly. She stabbed one in the head before it could get close to me. _

_ But there were more coming from all sides. Mum tried to fight them all but it was too much. Before she knew it an orc dagger was sticking out of her left side.  _ I covered my mouth and I felt a cry bubble up. I couldn’t watch this.  _ A pained gasp fell from my mum as she saw the blade. Then she was dragged backwards by filthy talons. _

_ “RUN LIRIEL!” she cried, still fighting them off. _

_ Little me ran. And ran. And ran _

_ And then my ever-repeating nightmare began to unfold. A stray orc had found me, grabbing me by my hair. I hit out at it with everything I had, catching it in the eye. It dropped me but it became more angry. A Knife flashed out and buried itself deep within my stomach. The orc laughed at my pain. The same laugh that haunted my dreams. _

_ I fell backwards onto the forest floor. Even bleeding out, I tried to crawl away. Though my energy was waning. “ADA!” I tried to scream but it came out as more of a whimper _

_ The orc grinned, ready to pounce again. But it never got the chance as my dad came up behind it and ran it through with his sword. Dad pushed the orc aside and ran to me. His face was awash with pure fear and devastation. _

_ “Ada’s here Liriel, stay with Ada” he cradled me to his chest, rocking me. “Stay with Ada” _

_ I tried to speak but I couldn’t, instead I only coughed up blood. Looking at my dad, my gaze slowly became more vacant. Until there was nothing left behind my eyes. I was dead. _

_ “No” it was barely above a whisper, “No, no, no. Liriel  _ please _ ” his voice broke on the last word and tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “My little girl” _

_ Great heaving sobs were wracking his body as he cradled me. _

_ “M. My lord, it’s your wife. She’s…” came a voice from behind him. _

_ My dad was up straight away. Picking me up in his arms, he ran with me. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Mum lay broken on the ground. Just as my dad arrived, she gave a last shuddering breath. Before she too ceased to be. _

_ Immediately my dad sank to the ground. Dropping me in the process. An unholy scream bellowed out of my dad’s mouth. It sounded as if he was being torn apart. One of his hands clutched the front of his shirt. Nails digging in so deep he was drawing blood. He braced himself against the ground as if he could barely keep himself upright. _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Dad was on the floor of some room. His clothes were still covered in blood. His mouth was open, like he was silently screaming. “She’s gone, where has she gone” _

_ “My Lord,” said a dark haired elf “She now resides in the halls of Mandos” _

_ “You.Are.Not.Listening!” my dad yelled through gritted teeth “She.is.not.there. She’s gone. I cannot feel her” _

_ The people around him all shared concerned looks with one another. Through the flap of a tent door I could see a small blonde head. _

_ “Ada” he said, so scared and uncertain. _

_ “Come, my boy” said a ginger elf “You should not see this” _

_ ~Change~ _

_ “He speaks truth” said an unknown elf “His Fea is in tatters” _

_ “But why? What does this mean?” said another _

_ ~Change~ _

_ Dad stood in a garden. It was the same garden as before. Only now it reeked of decay. All the plants had shrivelled and died. Rotted from the inside out. None had survived. Leaving the garden as a desolate wasteland. _

_ Where once happiness had spread across his face, now only coldness and anger lay. _

I stumbled back from the basin. Gasping. A wailing sound left my throat as I struggled to contain my tears. That was  _ awful.  _ Seeing my own death was too much, never mind everything else. I sunk to my knees. Struggling to breathe through the tears. The images of mum and I being murdered kept playing behind my eyes. They morphed from what I’d seen in the basin into real memories. Suddenly, I could recall every second that had happened on that dreaded night. Every scream, every pain. 

I could feel my body trembling as I tried to shake the memories away. It was no good though. They soon became too much and I vomited into the grass. Bile burned my throat. The sickening feeling made me cry even harder. 

I needed to run.

To get away.

Scrambling to my feet, I made a break for it. No direction, I simply ran. I had no idea where I was going. The unknown made me panic more. It was dark and there was no one around to help me. I wanted to curl up. 

My panic was rising and I couldn’t think logically anymore. I nearly let myself succumb to it. Before I could though, I felt an insistent tugging down the bond. The feeling made me gasp and shocked me out of my stupor. It was like someone throwing water at you when you’re hysterical. The shock helps to bring you to your senses.

Kili tugged it again.

That’s when I remembered that I could follow the connection. It would lead me to him. Then I wouldn’t be alone in the dark. Quickly, I tried to locate the bond. Closing my eyes and concentrating harder. It seemed to run back the way I came.

I opened my eyes and rushed in the right direction. 

As I got closer I could hear people shouting my name. “Leah!” 

The voices were coming from below me. Down a stone staircase. I took the stairs two at a time so that I could be down them quicker.

Kili stood in the middle of a field, with his brother beside him. When he saw me his face sagged in relief. Until he saw the state I was in and was immediately concerned again. He rushed over to me and I fell into his arms.

“What happened, what’s wrong?” Kili questioned, one hand cradled my head while the other held me to him.

I struggled to find the words. A sob rose up instead.

“Did the elves hurt you?” Said Fili, anger leaching into his voice.

“N.no” I stuttered.

I felt Kili leading me away. He was taking me somewhere but I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. Only concentrating on him. When I heard a cacophony of voices, I realised that he had brought me back to the dwarves.

“Ye found her then”

“What’s wrong with her”

“Are you okay?”

Kili sat me down on the ground. Following closely behind me. He held my hand tightly and I rested my head on his shoulder. With him close I started to feel calmer. I took several deep breaths and I could feel the tears begin to subside.

Thorin stood in front of me. His arms were crossed against his chest and he didn’t look very impressed. “What happened? Kili told us that you were panicked. I’m not sure how he knew but he wanted us to check on you. Only when we did you were no longer in your room”

“I.I’m sorry” was he mad because I left without telling anyone. I’d left in too much of a hurry to write a note or anything. Not that I really expected anyone to go to my room.

“We’re not mad at you we just want to know what happened” I heard Kili say.

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say.

“You met with the Lady Galadriel didn’t you?” Gandalf was sitting across from us in a wooden chair.

I nodded

“Did she do something to ye?”  Dwalin accused, contempt in his voice.

“No, no it wasn’t her” I said in a small voice. “She wanted to help me. She found a way to show me some of my past”

“What did you see, my dear?” Gandalf’s voice was sympathetic.

“I saw my mum die...” I sobbed, the image tried to worm its way back into the forefront of my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “...I saw how I died…We were both killed by orcs.”

I heard sharp intakes of breath as I confessed. “Seeing it brought back the proper memory. Before it was just a vague nightmare. But now I can remember it so clearly. It’s why I started panicking” I whispered.

Looking around I could see everyones shocked faces. Some held pity in their eyes while others held anger. Though I think it was more directed at orcs than at me.

“You’re okay now, you’re safe here” Kili reassured me, his voice was strained with emotion.

Now that I had calmed down, I realised that, in my panic, I’d overlooked the other memories. Only mum and I had been killed. Dad and Lachlan had survived here. They were alive! My chest tightened and I felt like I was going to start crying for a whole new reason. They were out there somewhere. I could see them again. An unrestrained happiness threatened to overcome my sadness.

However there was something that plagued me about the memories. When mum had died he had reacted so violently. As if he was being ripped in half. His scream still rang in my ears.

Then I recalled what Elrond had said about married elves. Their souls bind together. But if one dies they don’t get ripped apart because their souls are a part of Arda. Always there.

“Gandalf?” I said

“Yes, my dear?”

“The water showed me that my dad is alive”

A smile spread across his face “Well that’s wonderful news Leah”

“But I think something bad happened to him” Gandalf raised an eyebrow 

“Elrond told me about how elves souls bind together when they marry” I said “He said that when one dies their souls remain intact because they don’t leave Arda… But my mum did. She went to another world with me. When I saw my mum die he fell to the ground and screamed like he was in pain. And then he said that she was gone and he couldn’t feel her”

Gandalf froze when he heard what I said. When he spoke he sounded very weary. “I hadn’t thought of that. It’s never happened before, but yes as your mother left this world she would have taken her half of their shared soul with her. I imagine your father felt like he was being torn apart. I can’t imagine what that must be like. Not just the pain but the fact that he has lived this long with only half a soul. He could have been driven half mad”

My stomach clenched painfully. That was not what I needed to hear at all. Why couldn’t I just stay happy? My dad and brother were alive, I should be singing from the rooftops. But it was overshadowed by the fact that my dad may have gone insane. What if he didn’t even want to see me?

Some of the others tried to offer words of comfort to me. I smiled weakly at them, not knowing what to say in return. 

A bone-weary tiredness rapidly began to spread through my body. I had been tired before, now with added panic attack on top I was left with very little energy. My body began to feel heavier and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I vaguely sensed someone picking me up and laying me down on a softer surface. Unconsciousness claimed me pretty quickly after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of Nimrodel
> 
> Poor dad, losing his wife, daughter and half his soul in one day.


	22. I'm crying to the skies above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a new job so I don't know if I'll be able to update as much as I have been doing

_ Night had long since fallen. A chill swathed through the air. Autumn was definitely in full swing, wicking away the sweet warmth of summer. He knew he wasn’t wearing the best attire for a midnight stroll. In fact he was in his bed clothes. Thin flowing trousers and a simple tunic. Thankfully, he had the mind to don his robe so others would not question him. Not that they ever would. He tightened his robe around him to try and stave off the cold.  _

_ He didn’t want to be here. In fact he had originally outright refused to step foot near this place.  _

_ His son had ran to him. Out of breath and full of nervous energy. _

_ “Adar, I must speak with you”  _

_ He had been pouring over documents in his own quarters at the time. Even though he should have been sleeping at that hour, he couldn’t bring himself to. _

_ “Is something wrong?” he had been immediately alert. Dropping the paper in his hand back onto the desk. He stood up and walked over to his son. _

_ “No, no. At least I don’t think so” his son said hurriedly. _

_ He arched his brow waiting for his son to clarify. His son then looked to the ground, refusing to make eye contact. He was hiding something and he was nervous to speak it. _

_ “I, I was in the garden,” his son said “Li. Liriel’s garden” _

_ For a second he felt like he could not breathe. A sharp pain spread across his chest when he heard that name. “You know it is forbidden” he said through gritted teeth. Gritted against the pain in his heart. He grabbed the desk to steady himself. Trying desperately not to show weakness in front of his son. _

_ “I know Adar but-” _

_ “You should not have been there” he looked away, willing the ache to cease. _

_ “Adar… It’s growing” his son’s voice was full of astonishment. _

_ He froze. For a brief moment it felt like time was suspended, keeping him in that moment. _

_ “What?” he wheeled back to his son. _

_ “I saw it with my own two eyes. A plant has sprung up from the soil. The first one in over 1500 years.” said his son “Let me take you there, I can show you” _

_ “No!” _

_ No he could not go there. He had refused to ever since he saw the death that lingered. His son could not be speaking the truth; nothing could grow in such a barren place. Not anymore. _

_ “No?” _

_ “No, it cannot be. Nothing can grow there. Nothing can ever grow” his voice was cold. _

_ Hurt bloomed in his son’s eyes “Do you not trust me Adar?” _

_ Of course he trusted his son. He knew that his son believed in what he saw. “Of course I do” _

_ “Then please, let me show you” His son was pouring his heart out to him, begging him to listen. _

_ “I cannot. I will not” It was his own fear, his own cowardice, that prevented him from following his son. He dare not risk the consequences of false hope. If he went and there was nothing he would fall once more. Fall back into that pit. The one he hung from everyday. Barely clinging onto the edge. He knew he would never surface, never break free of the yawning emptiness below. But he could hold on and maybe inch his way up little by little. It had taken so much to get him this far, falling again would be disastrous.  _

_ Disappointment had shone in his son’s eyes as he left his chambers. He closed his eyes and clung desperately to the desk. In an attempt not to slide to the ground. He was not enough for his son, he knew this. But how could he ever hope to be enough for him when he was barely enough for himself. _

_ Weeks had passed and he had still refused to go. His son had thrown him pleading looks every now and again but he had pretended he had not seen them. What a terrible Adar he was. _

_ Tonight he had been lying in his bed. Sleep was only a distant dream as he lay there wide awake. The darkness was oppressive, bearing down on him from all sides. A sharp dagger of loneliness had rooted itself deep within his body. Out of desperation he had gotten up, flung a robe around him and left his chambers. He had not realised where he was walking until his bare feet had touched soft grass. _

_ When he had conceived of where he was he had frozen. Legs refusing to take him any further.  _

_ So close. He had already travelled so close to that dreaded garden. _

_ He could simply walk away. As if his body had never carried him here.  _

_ But that was a coward’s way out. He had not realised how desperately he wanted his son to be right than in that moment. Standing mere metres away from the very place he swore he would never return to. _

_ It took so much effort. To take those steps. But he did it, he forged a path towards the wrought iron gates that once held his daughters beloved garden. The lock was no longer there. How long had his son been sneaking into there? And for what purpose, other than to despair at the cruelties of the world? _

_ He closed his eyes as he pushed the gate open. Refusing to open them back up again at first. Until he had walked a few feet into the garden. His bare foot had brushed up against something. It was light and soft, like a young leaf. The feeling made him gasp and his eyes wretched open. His knees buckled beneath him at what he saw. _

_ It was not a desolate wasteland. Not anymore. His son had said that a single plant had grown from the barren ground. That was what he had been expecting. Not this.  _

_ The entire garden had regrown. _

_ Plants, healthy and green, stretched up towards the sky. So many flowers bloomed, even though they were no longer in season. Liriel’s garden had been brought back to life. _

_ A chip of ice fell away and hope clawed its way into his long, frozen heart. It was so much more painful than the cold comfort of despair. _

_ A pained sob left his body before he could stop it. _

_ What did this mean? The Valar must know that he would do anything to see them again. To feel his beloved Elinneth once more. But he was painfully aware of the tattered edges of is damaged Fëa. She was not there. Why would they mock him by bringing the garden back but not them? _

_ Was it supposed to be a comfort? Or was it simply a cruel punishment? _

_ The sickness of hope would only poison his heart further, he knew. When it eventually withered away to nothing, he would still be empty and they would still be gone. _

* * *

**Leah**

I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. The sun had barely risen, sending weak light across the valley. It took me a second to realise where I was. I was not in my bedroom that’s for sure. Instead I was wrapped almost completely around a very amused Kili. A blush rose to my cheeks and I apologised. Quickly untangling myself from him. 

I had had nightmares last night. You can probably guess what triggered them. When I woke from them I had latched onto the closest thing I could. Sleepy me had not realised that it had been Kili.

“We leave within the hour. So gather all your things” said Thorin from above me.

With alarm I realised that all of my things were still in my room. Had all my clothes even been returned to me yet? They had been sent to be cleaned at some point. 

When I told this to Thorin he told me to go and retrieve what I could. He sent Fili and Kili along with me. Though if he wanted us to be sneaky I have no idea why he chose those two. As much as I loved the pair they couldn’t sneak for shit.

In any case, the three of us quickly made our way to my room. We would often divert when we heard the sound of footsteps. Taking an alternate route. Though I knew deep down that the elves had already heard us. I had a feeling none of them really cared if we left. It was mainly Saruman that would freak out about it at the White council.

We made it to my room in plenty of time. No one was around so we just slipped straight in. Closing the door softly closed behind us. Only to come face-to-face with a smiling Rehtinde. All three of us froze in the doorway.

“Oh, er, hi” I waved.

What was she doing here? She had been coming around often to make sure I was okay but it was barely morning.

“Hello, young one” she said “I was growing concerned when you were not in your room”

“Er I was hanging out with the dwarves and must have fallen asleep down there” I said quickly.

Rey looked between the three of us, amusement in her eyes “I see”

Then she reached behind her and brought out my bag. “I was informed that you would be needing this”

The bag was full and neatly closed. I had a few ideas about who would have told her we were leaving. It rhymes with shmady faladriel. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised that she wasn’t going to reprimand us for leaving. This way I wouldn’t have to make up some stupid lie about why I needed my things back.

“Thank you” I breathed, going over and taking the bag. It seemed slightly heavier than before.

Rey pointed towards the bed “There are some clothes here that might be more suited to travel” Then see cast a glance over to where Fili and Kili were standing “Though I suggest that the males in the room either vacate or turn around.”

I followed her gaze and saw Fili and Kili with faces of varying degrees of shock. Either at the presence of Rey or about me changing clothes. I swear I saw a faint redness in their cheeks as they quickly spun around. They refused to leave the room but they would at least turn away, it seems.

I looked at the clothes Rey had picked out for me. A pair of trousers, which seemed more like leggings with how soft they were. Leaf patterns were sewn down the seams. Then there was a long green tunic with a belt to tie around the middle. I’d be able to attach my sword to it. Rey had also provided me with underwear, along with the elven equivalent of a sports bra. I’d been wearing them for the past two weeks and they were beyond comfy.

Gathering all of the garments, I went to change behind the screen. I knew that they wouldn’t turn around but it would feel weird to get changed out in the open with so many people in the room. I made quick work of getting dressed. The clothes fit perfectly, I had a suspicious feeling that they had been made for me. How did they get my measurements? Or were they just really good at guessing?

The soft material was sturdy and would keep me warm as we journeyed up mountains. When I put the last garment on, Rey came behind the screen. In her hands were a pair of knee-high boots. 

“These shoes will be more forgiving on your feet than the ones you came in. They are more flexible too, in case you need to climb anything” Rey said in a soft voice.

I was saddened to leave anything of mine behind. My mum had bought me those hiking boots years ago. I wouldn’t be able to take them with me, they would be too heavy. But I also knew that anything elven made was going to be better than anything from my other world.

I accepted the boot graciously. Slipping them onto my feet. They hugged the curves of my calves. It might be a good place to store a small dagger.

“Thank you, Rey. For everything you’ve helped me with” I said.

She smiled kindly down at me. Then she opened her arms and brought me in for a surprise hug. “You are most welcome, young one.” Then she let me go “Now promise me you will try to stay safe”

That would probably be difficult knowing where I was going “I’ll try”

She bid me good luck as we left the room.

Once we were out of earshot Fili and Kili rounded on me.

“Who is she?”

“How did she know we were leaving?”

“Is she going to tell someone?”

I put a hand up gesturing for them to quiet down. “Her name is Rehtinde and she was my healer when I first arrived. She kept checking on me afterwards just to see if I was okay. And don’t worry, no one is going to stop us from leaving”

“How can we trust her?” said Fili “She could go straight to her Lord and we’d be stuck here”

“Well you can trust me right?” Fili nodded “No one is going to stop us leaving okay. We’ll be fine… Just probably don’t tell Thorin. He’d freak out.”

Fili and Kili still looked apprehensive but they didn’t protest anymore.

When we made it back to the others, everyone had already packed up. They were waiting for us before so that they could go. There were a few raised eyebrows about my new outfit but no one said anything. Once we were all ready, Thorin began leading the way to the hidden path Gandalf had told us about. It would bring us back to the path we had been following before the troll incident.

When we got to the top of the valley, I looked back. I had been unconscious when we had first entered Rivendell. So this was the first time I was seeing the valley in all its glory. Sunlight glittered across the surface of the river and cast an orange glow onto the buildings. It was beautiful. One day I hope I would be able to see it again. 

But first I had to deal with a dragon and a war.

* * *

The journey was a lot harder now that we no longer had ponies. If I still had my human body I would be a gelatinous blob on the ground by now. Even now my legs ached with the exertion. Bilbo was faring the worst. I could tell that he desperately wished to rest but he was determined not to slow us down. I would walk next to him and keep him company. We would share stories about home to keep our spirits up.

“Was there truly no other races in that other world?” he asked, quite breathless “Only men?”

“Yeah, only humans. No dwarves or elves or anything.” I said “Though there were other species thousands of years ago. Like neanderthals and stuff. But they went extinct”

“What does extinct mean?” Bilbo panted.

“It means they don’t exist anymore. They died out” I said

“Oh that’s quite sad,” said Bilbo, holding his chest as he breathed harder.

“We had hobbits, I think” I quipped “Or something similar at least”

There had been remains found in a cave somewhere- I’d forgotten where- but they’d found a bunch of skeletons that were about 3.5 ft tall. They weren’t children skeletons either, they were fully grown. It made people speculate that they had been another subspecies of early human.

“Oh how wonderful” he said with a smile.

The path we were on was becoming increasingly steeper and a stream of water cascaded down the rocks. It made the way dangerously slippy in places. Bilbo stood on a rock to haul himself up. Only the rock wasn’t as sturdy as he had thought and it jostled in the mud. The movement tripped Bilbo up and sent him sprawling backwards. I grabbed onto Bilbo’s arm but it wasn’t necessary.

Thorin had caught Bilbo underneath his arms. Trust fall style. He, not so gently, placed Bilbo back on his feet. “Keep up Master Baggins we don’t need you  _ falling _ behind” said Thorin as he made his way forward.

“Obstinate dwarf” said Bilbo under his breath.

Thorin half turned “What was that Master Baggins?”

“I, I said thank you.” said Bilbo quickly. “Thank you, Thorin”

Thorin simply hummed non committedly and started making his way to the front of the company. As soon as he was out of earshot, I let out a laugh. Bilbo also let out a nervous laugh next to me. 

That first day had been gruelling. Mainly because we hadn’t done much moving for two weeks. We’d been a bit too sedentary. It also didn’t help that we now had to carry all our supplies on our backs. When we finally decided to camp for the night everyone was groaning about something or other.

I set up my bedroll and plonked myself down. It felt good to sit. My bag thunked heavily against the ground as I peeled it off my back. Rolling my shoulder I felt a few cracks from my spine. The bag was definitely heavier than it had been. It made me curious. Swinging the bag around I placed it in between my legs. Then I undid the clips and opened it up. My eyebrows crinkled at what I saw on the top.

They were new.

Gingerly, I removed them from the bag. There were two of them. They were made out of thick leather and vaguely resembled a tube. Laces hung from the bottom and the top seemed to be reinforced with some kind of metal under the surface.

I had an idea of what they were but I couldn’t be sure. “What are these?” I asked the person closest to me. That turned out to be Dori.

He looked down at me, puzzled for a moment, before recognition lit his eyes. “Oh those appear to be vambraces. They’re a kind of armour that goes on your arms”

My inclination had been correct. 

“Where did you get them from then?” said Nori from beside him “Have you been as light fingered as I have?” He wiggled his perfectly braided eyebrows at me

“No” I said with an amused grin “The elves must have given them to me”

“Oh ‘given’ were they? Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.” Nori tapped the side of his nose.

“Don’t disgrace Lady Leah with your insinuations Nori. Not everyone is as criminally inclined as you are.” Dori came to my defence.

“If you say so brother” said Nori, resuming to set up his own bedroll.

It turned out that Rey had also packed another piece of armour for me to wear. A leather bodice that would cover my torso. Having armour made me feel a lot safer. I was a bit of an idiot for not asking for some before this. 

The bag also contained my old clothes as well as a new set of elven ones. My old underwear had disappeared though, leaving me with only the new ones. Goodbye deadpool pants, you served me well. I nearly cheered out loud when I came across my toiletries bag. It was now full with new soap. There was also a tub containing a weird green paste that I assumed was a kind of toothpaste. I’d been using what was left of my own while I was in Rivendell. A small pouch at the bottom of my bag contained some dried fruit and there were a couple of leaf covered packages. I’m going to assume it was lembas bread. I really wanted to try it, curious about the taste, but I knew that we would need it later.

Dwalin helped me to tie the armour on when I went to train with him. He made a comment about the sturdiness of the armour but refused to compliment it further. It was elven made after all. I looked badass, if I do say so myself. Fully embodying the elf warrior spirit. It was like the best cosplay ever. Before this the only Tolkien I had ever dressed up as was Bilbo. Maybe I’d tell him one day.

Dwalin put me through my paces once more. Now that we were back on the road he wasn’t going easy on me. Fili and Kili kept me company as well. Though I think they were just looking for an excuse to spar with one another. I also made Bilbo join us. Now that he had his own sword he had no excuse. He wasn’t the most impressed when I dragged him over.

Dwalin had his arms crossed and was looking particularly fierce. “So, Mister Baggins. What do ye know about sword fighting?”

“Oh well, I guess the general gist of it is to just sort of” Bilbo poked his sword forward “Jab at them” 

“Stick em with the pointy end” I added, helpful as ever.

Dwalin gave me a ‘look’ suggesting that he wasn’t impressed with my input. “Aye, that’s the ‘gist’ of it. But do ye even know how to hold one?”

“Ah, that would be a no” Bilbo said looking down at his sword.

So the first thing Dwalin did was correct Bilbo’s grip on his sword. Then he began the lesson.

“Having a longer sword does nae always mean that ye’ll win a fight” said Dwalin

I heard Fili and Kili start giggling at the phrase ‘longer sword’. Boys are the same in any world it seems. I shoved Fili with my shoulder as he was closest to me. He simply laughed harder.

Dwalin shut them down with a glare before he continued. “Longer swords” glare “require a longer swing which will take more time. Short swords are quicker”

“Also” he moved Bilbo’s left hand off the pommel “As this is a smaller weapon ye can use it with one hand. Ye can use ye offhand to punch or block. If ye not using the other hand ye best keeping it close to ye chest. A cut down the inside o’ ye arm can be deadly”

Bilbo held his arm very close to his chest as if just thinking it would cause his arm to be damaged. His eyes were wide as he was taking everything in. 

Dwalin tried to give me harder tasks than Bilbo as I was slightly further along than he was. Bilbo didn’t mind though. He was too busy concentrating on his own drills. Fili and Kili battled along beside us. Dwalin had to tell them to calm down more than once.

They should have taken heed of Dwalin’s warnings because I heard a cry of pain come from one of them. All of us wheeled around to see what had happened. Blood was streaming from Fili’s nostril. The bridge of his nose was now slightly crooked.

“What did a tell ye?” said Dwalin, clipping Fili and Kili around the head.

“It s’not my Bault, he caught me wiv ‘is elbow” Fili held onto his nose and pointed to Kili accusingly. Blood was dripping down his chin and getting caught in his beard.

“That’s only because you were trying to trip me up” argued Kili.

“I’ll go and get Oin” said Bilbo before scampering off towards the centre of camp.

Looking down at my hands, I realised that we wouldn’t need Oin. Perhaps it was my chance to show off my new skill set. A broken nose should be similar to a cut, right?

I approached Fili, nose wrinkling slightly at the blood dribbling down his face. It wasn’t very pretty looking. “Do you want me to help?”

“A guess i’ couldn’ ‘urt” said Fili, he had leaned his head back to try and prevent the blood from pouring.

“I mean it might” I joked.

I readied my magic first. Pooling it into the palms of my hands. The pale glow began to emanate from my hands. I heard at least one of the dwarves gasp. Then I brought my hands up to Fili’s face. It was easier to heal if the point of contact was close to the wound. So I needed to put my hands close to his nose. But not too close. There was blood and it was gross. I’m not getting that on my hands.

Fili went cross eyed trying to look at my hands. I went for the sides of his head as they were blood free. When my fingers made contact, my magic snaked its way under his skin. With a little push, I willed it to go towards his nose. I could feel where the cartilage had been bent and where the blood vessels had burst. The cells began to reform and Fili’s nose shifted back into place with an audible crack.

I removed my hands from his face and took a few deep breaths. The more I used my magic the easier it became. Soon I felt like I could heal simple cuts without even losing my breath. 

Fili wrinkled his nose a few times. Moving it this way and that. “Would you look at that? Good as new” he said, though he was still covered in blood. “That really tickled you know?” 

“Good, you idiot” I said

“It seems my services will not be needed” came a voice from behind me.

When I turned I saw Oin and Bilbo. Oin had his medical bag ready in his hand. 

“Not today, no” I said, a proud smile was pulling at the corners of my mouth.

* * *

The movies made it seem instantaneous but, after a week of walking, the misty mountains lay stubbornly in the distance. It would probably take another week to get there. However, even though the misty mountains were far away, a mist had descended on our path. It was cold and wet. Not the most pleasant of additions to our journey.

Surprisingly, it was Bifur who was handling it the worst. I could hear him swearing in khuzdul. His hands straying to his head while he groaned in pain.

“Are you okay Bifur?” I asked, concerned.

Bifur spewed out a whole lot of khuzdul all at once. Bofur very kindly jumped in to help. “It’s the cold, Lass. It’s no good for his head. The axe gets cold and it gives him dreadful headaches”

Oh god that must be awful. Being in pain whenever it got cold. How long had he lived like this? Thoughts of Bifur lay heavily on my mind throughout the rest of the day. 

When we set up camp a freezing drizzle began to fall. We managed to find some shelter under a rocky overhang but it didn’t stop the chill. Everyone began setting up camp around me. Bifur sat on his own, tucked as close to the rock wall as he could get. Bofur was making light conversation with him but he was mainly focusing on setting up the fire. It would be difficult to do with all of the damp.

I made my over to Bifur and sat down next to him. The guy looked like he needed some comfort, or at least a warm fire. Unfortunately, I could not produce fire, so I settled for sitting close to him. He babbled along next to me, more talking to himself than anything. Bofur would occasionally reply to something he said. 

Bifur’s eyes squeezed together again and I realised that he was in pain. Reaching out I took his hand in mine and squeezed reassuringly. He looked at me and gave me a weak smile. Then he resumed his khuzdul rant.

No one was really paying me much attention. The only person who I could see looking in my direction was Kili. He smiled when he noticed me looking at him. 

I looked back towards Bifur. Zeroing in on the axe in his head. That thing was the reason that he was in pain. It was also the reason for a lot of Bifurs frustrations. Could I... could I help him? I mean I had healing hands for crying out loud. That should be of some use, right? 

Though I had never really done anything as complex as a head injury before. Well unless you count bringing Kili back from the dead but that had been an impulse thing. This would require a lot more precision.

I debated for a moment longer before deciding that I would be a bad friend if I didn’t at least try. The magic moved down my arms with simply a thought. Getting easier and easier everyday. With a sweep of my eyes I noticed nobody looking my way. I don’t know why I felt self-conscious about having an audience but I did. With the knowledge that no one was looking in my direction I pushed the magic into Bifur’s hand.

Bifur didn’t even react when I did it. Too preoccupied with whatever he was saying. As my hands were so far away from his head, I had to use more energy to push the magic up there. When my magic reached his head I nearly gasped. The feel of someone’s brain below my magic was the strangest thing. Shaking off the shock, I got to work. I moved my magic to the front of Bifur’s head. The axe was just  _ wrong.  _ His brain had tried to reform around it but it was in the way. No new connections could form while it was stuck there.

My breath came in short pants as I willed the surrounding brain tissue to reform. To push out the foreign object. I could feel it working. Millimetre by millimetre. Until…

“Ozodl b-bahd, I can’t deal with this fucking weather Bofur I just can’t”

The axe fell out of Bifur’s forehead and landed on his lap.

I quickly let go of Bifur’’s hand, releasing my hold on my magic. I tried to take deep breaths to steady myself. A tiredness burrowed down into my bones. That was the most power I’d used since I saved Kili. It was taking its toll.

Bofur whirled around with amazing speed. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open. “Bi. Bifur yer axe” Bofur pointed.

Bifur was looking down at the axe in his lap. He picked it up tentatively confusion in his eyes. “I don’t understand” his voice had the same irish-style lilt that Bofur’s had. It was rather startling after hearing his more german like khuzdul accent.

“Yer speaking common” Whispered Bofur.

Then they both turned to me. My limbs were beginning to feel heavy. “It was you” said Bifur “You healed me”

“Yeah, I guess so” I said shyly.

Tears had formed in Bifur’s eyes and he looked at me with such wonder and amazement. A watery smile spread across his face. Then he leaned over and wrapped me into a crushing hug. I would have returned the gesture if my arms didn’t feel like jelly.

“I feel like I can think straight for the first time in 60 years” he mumbled into my shoulder “Thank ye, thank ye, thank ye”

When Bifur let me go I realised that everyone else had now noticed. A mixture of astonished and ecstatic faces.

“I owe ye a debt, Lass. Name ye price I’ll give ye anything” said Bifur

“You don’t owe me anything Bifur” I shook my head, my eyes closing sleepily for a few moments before I opened them back up again.

A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. “I think you need to rest, amrâlimê” said Kili softly. I was inclined to agree.

People had begun to crowd around Bifur. Saying words of encouragement and amazement. I let Kili lead me away from the crowd. He had to half carry me as all I wanted to do was lie down. Kili helped me down onto a bedroll. I assume it was mine but who knows. I lay my head against Kili’s chest as he leaned against the rock wall. His heartbeat was a comfort. It would lull me to sleep if I stopped fighting it.

“I can’t believe you did that. Well I can actually. You’re amazing Leah” Kili said, his voice sounded deeper with my ear against his chest.

“I am pretty cool” I said jokingly.

“I’m serious” Kili said “You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met”

I smiled into his shirt. His hand moved a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear. The skin tingled where he brushed it. “Sleep Leah. I’ll wake you when there’s food”

“You better” I mumbled “I’m starving”

* * *

The misty mountains were...miserable, for lack of a better word. Cold and wet. The rocks below us were often slick and we had to catch ourselves to stop from falling. Climbing was hard work and we had to take many breaks to conserve our strength. We would have to help lift each other over difficult ledges as the path became more treacherous. 

I told them that that they had to keep an eye out for goblins as they made their home in the mountains. Everyone took my words as truth thankfully and kept a wary eye out. Each night we would try and find a cave to rest in. I would always search thoroughly for any kind of cracks in the walls or floor before I would let myself settle down. This mountain had me constantly on edge.

Kili, thankfully, was always there to lean on. Sometimes literally as passed through some tricky obstacles. I slept close to him at night. Other than the occasional look the older dwarves seemed okay with it. I guess dying has its privileges if they were letting Kili have some slack.

Kili was still a cuddler. That had remained the same from the first time we’d slept next to each other. I’d often wake to his arm tightly wrapped me. His tremendous body heat would help to stave off the cold. Dwarves seemed to run hot. 

This particular day I swear I never saw the sun. The clouds were so thick and dark it was like night had never lifted. Torrential rain attacked us from all sides. We had to cling to the side of the mountain to stop ourselves from falling. I had a bad feeling about this weather. It could be an indicator of that dreaded thunder battle between the mountain giant things. But there was no way of knowing. It could rain like this for days.

The only way you could tell that night had fallen was because the vague light we had before had vanished. Only the light of the cracks of lightning illuminated our way. Well the lightning and my glowy hands. I had to be near the front so that I could help to light the path. Which was not something that I was very happy about. I’d prefer to be somewhere nearer the middle but I knew that I was needed elsewhere.

The near constant flow of magic would tire me out eventually. Thankfully It didn’t take much to simply hold it in my hands. I could hold it there for a considerable amount of time. 

Even with my magic though it was still difficult to see. The rain was almost blinding.

“LOOK OUT!” yelled Dwalin.

That’s when I saw the huge boulder-the size of a house-careening towards. My first instinct told me to freeze. The fear binding my muscles. It was only the shouts of the others that drove me to throw myself against the wall. Covering my head with my hands. Sharp chunks of rock rained down on us. I let out a scream as a particularly heavy one landed between my shoulder blades. My bag must have slipped down as I crouched otherwise it would have cushioned the blow. It knocked the wind out of me and I fell out of my crouch. I caught myself with my hands before I could slip over the edge.

“WE NEED SHELTER” I heard someone shout, I think it was Thorin but my ears were ringing.

I clambered unsteadily to my feet. Shaking bits of rock from my clothes. My arms were incredibly shaky and I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. The light had sputtered out when I got hit so I made a conscious effort to light them back up. People flinched back from the brightness.

“This is no thunderstorm, it’s a thunder battle!” 

In the distance the lumbering form of a mountain shifted. With great crashes the whole rock face moved until a humanoid shape stood tall. Its size was unfathomable. Like a skyscraper had suddenly sprung legs. 

And it was angry.

It launched another attack on the same mountain we were standing on. We didn’t have to be told to run. Rock projectiles rained down on us and we had to dodge out of the way. Gloin, behind me, pulled me out of the way of a particularly nasty one.

It seemed like we would be able to make it across. That was until the path beneath us shifted. My stomach dropped like I was on a rollercoaster and the entire mountain tipped forward.

We were on one of the giants!

Fuck, why did I forget that would happen?

A gap yawned in front of us where the path had previously been. We needed to jump. Thorin jumped across first. His foot almost slipped but he caught himself in time. Then the rest of us made an attempt. I waited until it was nearly level. Bounding a few steps, I launched myself across the gap. My legs had more power than I thought and I crashed into the wall.

Only half of the company made it across before the giant moved too far away. Blood froze in my veins as I saw Kili among them. 

The giant started stomping its way in front of us and I could almost reach the people on its leg. But it moved too fast. Gloin pulled me back once more as a wall of rock moved passed where my arm had been.

We still needed to move. Thorin pushed on, chasing after where the other company members had been taken. I tried to follow.

Only for a giant’s fist to crash down into the path ahead of me. A mere metre away. The sheer speed and power of the blow took all the air from my body. It pulverized the rock beneath it. Deep cracks spread outwards from the fist, running underneath my feet. I hugged the back of the wall as the path began to fall into the void. Gloin scrambled next to me, barely hanging on to the side.

We probably would have been safe if the giant didn’t pull his fist back up. The force of it destroyed the remaining path below us. My eyes made contact with Thorin’s before the rock beneath my feet completely disappeared.

Gloin and I fell.

Screaming into the void below. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thunder battles suck ass to write. That's why it was so short lol.  
> Ozodl b'badh- Vile Breeze


	23. But I'm trying to survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole scene took a lot of effort to write. There's just so much going on at once it's hard to describe it all. The next few chapters will be a lot more fun to write.

I would not recommend falling to your death.

It was the single most terrifying moment of my life. Well, one of them at least. I’d had a fair few near-death encounters. Wind rushed up below me where the ground should have been. Uncontrollable screams ripped their way out of my throat. Burning as they left. My stomach felt like it was trying to escape out of the top of my ribcage. Arms and legs flailed trying to find purchase on anything. Instead they collided harshly with the rock face. Shooting pain ran up them.

I couldn’t see below me. The darkness was too pervasive. That’s why it was a surprise when a ledge suddenly sprang up below me. I smashed into the unforgiven rock feet first. My ankle bending in the wrong direction. Sharp, burning pain lacerated it’s way up my legs and I couldn’t breathe. When I finally managed to gulp down a breath of air a howl of pain left me. Lights were still flashing and I was completely disoriented. The pounding in my head was so loud it drowned out anything else. All I could do was scream at the pain lancing through me.

I needed to move. Needed to think.

Gritting through the pain I hauled myself into a sitting position. Only to realise how close to the edge I was. Fear made me scramble backwards. My right ankle screamed in protest but I managed it. I didn’t stop moving until my back hit the wall. 

Had I broken my ankle? 

With as much confidence as I could muster, I tried to move my toes. I gasped in pain but I managed it. Not broken then. It must only be badly bruised. I was incredibly lucky. If I wasn’t an elf I think both of my legs would have been shattered on impact.

The sound of battle faded into silence. As quickly as it had started it had finished again. Looking up, I tried to see where we had fallen from. The mountain sprawled high above me and I could not see where the others were. Had they gotten to safety? Kili’s terrified heart beat pulsed in time with mine so I at least knew he was alive. It only brought a small comfort as alive didn’t always mean safe. I was evidence of that, as I was alive but stuck hundreds of metres down. There was no hope for climbing back up again. Nausea rose up at the thought of being stranded alone on a mountain.

A faint groan rumbled below me.

Shit, I wasn’t alone. Gloin had fallen alongside me. He wasn’t on the small ledge that I was on though. His pained moans were coming from somewhere underneath.

Using the wall as leverage, I dragged myself into a semi-standing state. The pain in my ankle pulsed below me. Though, thankfully, after the initial pain it had dulled slightly. Enough so that I could move it without crying. I sidled along the edge of the wall until I could peer into the space below. Another ledge sprawled out about 5ft down. A half-conscious Gloin lay in the centre of it.

“Gloin, are you okay?!” I shouted.

All I heard was groans in return. I needed to get down to him. To heal him. I sat down on the edge, legs dangling below me. If I lowered myself down slowly it hopefully wouldn’t hurt too badly. Rolling onto my stomach, I began pushing my way slowly off the ledge. My hands reached out to what they could to keep balance. It was going well and I felt my left toes brushing against the ground. Then the rock I’d been holding on to cracked under my weight and I fell the rest of the way. It wasn’t a big drop but it was enough to take my legs from underneath me. My ankle burned angrily.

Tears sprung up in my eyes. I forced my breath out in deep pants to try and refocus. Gloin lay across from me. Nothing seemed to be broken but he had a lot of cuts and a particularly nasty gash on his head.

I should probably start with that one.

Willing the magic into my hands was a lot harder than before. I had to fight more for it to stay in my palms and not snake back to my core. The gash was at the top of his head leading into his hairline. Hopefully Gloin wouldn’t object to me touching his hair in this instance. 

I placed my hands onto Gloin’s head and the magic sunk below. No damage was done to the skull as far as I could tell. Dwarves had thick heads after all. But his head was still bleeding quite profusely. The skin needed to reseal. So I willed the cells to reform.My vision began to swim in front of me and it took a lot more energy than it normally did. Using the light earlier and falling down a cliff had left me with very little energy.   

The wound was half closed when Gloin’s eyes rapidly blinked open. He took one look at my strained face and shoved my hands away from him.

“Stop it ye daft girl ye gonna end up fainting” he grumbled “I’m a dwarf, I’ll be fine”

I wanted to point out that he hadn’t really been fine a minute ago but I was too tired to protest. 

A strong tug on the bond had me gasping. It was frantic and terrified. Kili was asking if I was okay. I pulled back, trying to signal that I was okay. It hadn’t been as strong as Kili’s had been but it was enough to show I was there. If I followed the bond with my eyes I could see that it stretched high above me. Not the most comforting thing knowing he was so far away.

The rain was still lashing down, soaking all of my clothes. There must be somewhere we could go. Gloin sat up and peered around him. His eyes lit up when he glanced at something behind me. He pointed out what had caught his interest. There was an opening, half hidden by rocks, that led to a cave. It was a tight squeeze but we managed to make our way inside. 

Once we were past the mouth it opened up into what looked like a long hallway. I couldn’t see where it lead which had me on edge. Hopefully goblins hadn’t noticed us coming in. Gloin had my arm slung around his shoulder and he let me lean on him as we made our way down. We stopped walking when we got to where the light from outside no longer reached us. Gloin sat me down against the wall.

“Let me ‘av a look at yer foot, Lass. I’ve got some of Oin’s things in ma pack they might help” he said taking his bag off of his back. I stretched my injured leg out in front of me. With a little effort I managed to wriggle my boot free. Then I pulled the sock down so I could see the ankle. Purple bruising wrapped around the top of my foot. Though like with my ribs, it was nowhere near as bad as I had been expecting.

Gloin grabbed my foot with a surprising gentleness. “Do you know much about healing?” I inquired.

“Aye” he said, bringing out some bandages. “Ye don’t have a brother like Oin an’ not pick up a few things” He found some kind of paste and spread it across my ankle. Then he began to wrap the bandages around my ankle tightly. “When Oin first go’ his apprenticeship with healer Kine he would come home and tell me everythin’ he’d learned that day. I’m quite a bit younger than him so it was often a bedtime story”

I smiled as Gloin reminisced.

He finished my ankle up quickly. It felt a lot better with the added support.

Gloin sighed and sat down heavily “Now we need to find out where the others are. And if they’re even alive”

I pointed in the general direction of the bond “They are in that direction and I know that Kili at least Kili is alive” My hand ghosted over my chest where Kili’s heart beat was.

“How d’ye know that?” Gloin raised his eyebrow.

“When I brought Kili back I tied his life to mine. Now were like _ literally  _ connected. If Kili died then I’d be dead too” I explained

“No a knew that bit. I meant how d’ye know where they are”

“Oh if I look hard enough I can see a glowing line that connects me to Kili” I could see it snaking its way upwards.

Gloin stared at the air around me as if he was trying to see it for myself. Then he shook his head “Well a don’t think we can do much right now. We’ll ‘ave to wait until mornin’ so we can see”

A frown pulled at the corners of my mouth. “I don’t think we have that long” I muttered “If they follow the same path as the story they’re gonna get grabbed by goblins in the middle of the night. I was going to warn them but we’re stuck down here”

Gloin swore under his breath. “We cannae really do much right now so we’ll still ‘av to wait” said Gloin.

Okay good, waiting I could do. My body needed to rest so that I could be somewhat functional when I inevitably came into contact with a goblin. Gloin leaned back against the tunnel wall across from me. His head wound looked a lot better but he was still covered in cuts and bruises. He must be in pain but I knew he’d refuse my help again. Dwarves were stubborn and Gloin was an old warrior, he’d probably had worse pain in his life.  

We sat in silence for a few moments. Only the sound of our breathing and the distant drizzle of rain were audible. I hadn’t actually spent much time with Gloin. He usually kept to himself or banded together with some of the older dwarves. This was probably the longest time we’d been alone with each other.

“So” said Gloin “In this other world o’ yer’s did it say much about me?”

I could tell that Gloin was trying to lighten the mood. Keep us distracted from our current insurmountable problems.

“There was a little bit” I said, sleepily “Er I think it said that you were a banker and dealt with money before this. Oh and also that your Gimli’s dad”

“Gimli? ma wee lad is in ye stories?” Gloin asked, his eyes wide.

I realised then that I had probably said too much. In my tired state Gimli’s name had slipped out. There probably wouldn’t be much harm in me telling Gloin a few things though. I just wouldn’t go into any details. “Yeah, he’s a very famous dwarf. Or he will be in about 60 years”

“My lad, a famous dwarf” Gloin’s eyes brimmed with pride. He really did love his son. 

My eyelids started to droop. I tried to stay as alert as possible but the day had taken it out of me. “Ye should rest, lass. I’ll wake ye if anything happens”

I wanted to stay up with Gloin but I knew that there were at least a few hours until the goblins found the dwarves. A nap wouldn’t be amiss.

* * *

Sleep had claimed me with a surprising speed. I couldn’t tell if I dreamt or not because they all faded when I woke abruptly. It wasn’t Gloin that woke me up, he was rather startled when I jumped up. Instead it was the sudden intense pounding in my chest. The heartbeat that belonged to Kili had erupted. It pulled me swiftly from my very deep sleep.

I sat up gasping and covering my chest. “I..think..the..goblins..have..them” I panted.

Gloin rushed into action instantly. He stood up and swung his pack onto his back. His axe was ready in his hand. I clambered up as fast as I could. That nap had done me a world of good. My ankle was already feeling better and didn’t collapse below me. Elven really were hardy it seems. Some of my energy had also returned meaning that I could probably use some of my power without fainting. I felt bad that I had managed to rest while Gloin hadn’t but I couldn’t really change that now.

I swung my own bag onto my back and drew my own sword. Trying to remember all of the training Dwalin had given me. 

Gloin and I both realised that the only way to help our friends was to journey further into the cave. The darkness looked impenetrable before us. Not the most inviting of places. I would need my power in order for us to see. To save energy I only brought the light into one hand and only allowed a dim radiance to slip through.

The tunnel seemed to continue on, deep into the mountain. My hand could only illuminate a shallow dome around us so we were soon swallowed by the darkness. The walls were damp and the air was stale. Every sound I heard set off my fight or flight response. I would swing my sword around in front of me. 

Soon the orangey light of a flame appeared in the distance and the sounds of goblin town permeated the air. Quickly I closed my hand and the light disappeared. The tunnel gave way to a towering cavern that took up the entire centre of the mountain. I could see shadows of goblins running above us. None of them had noticed us yet. They were too busy with their guests above us.

I could hear the shouts from the company above us and hundreds of goblins were crawling over to them. Gloin grabbed me and held me flat against the wall. A hunched over goblin scuttled passed the opening to the tunnel. Thankfully, it didn’t look back. 

The centre of the maze of platforms and rope bridges was where all of the dwarves were being taken. I turned to tell this to Gloin. When a scream split through the air before I got the chance. Followed by the body of a falling Hobbit.

“Mahal, was tha’ Bilbo” Gloin whispered forcefully.

“Yeah” I whispered back “Don’t worry he’s fine”

“Fine! he just fell to his death!” Gloin argued

“No trust me he’ll find his way out” 

I told Gloin that we needed to find our way up the top without being seen. He didn’t seem too impressed. We wandered further into the cavern. Always looking around us for any sign of movement. A mouldy rope ladder seemed to be our best shot at that moment. It was tucked into a corner and there did not seem to be any goblins around it. 

Gloin went first. The first rung he stepped on immediately split in two. It didn’t bode well for the rest of our journey. He tried again, aiming to keep his feet closer to the edges. When he was a few feet above me I followed up behind him. The ladder was coated in something slimy and gelatinous. It took everything in me not to gag.

The ladder didn’t extend all the way and Gloin had to jump the last part. When Gloin reached the platform he reached down to help me up. A shadow fell over him as he held out his hand. He didn’t have time to react as the body of a goblin bared down on him. It’s skin was a mottled green colour. Pustules lined its whole body and its limbs stuck out at odd angles. Gloin couldn’t move, but I could.

My sword was in my hand in a flash. With a thrust of my arm the steel buried itself deep into the monsters head. It hadn’t even had the chance to cry out. Black blood dripped down its body. It fell forward nearly pulling me off the ladder. My sword was still in its head and it made a disgusting *shink* sound as its body fell but the sword didn’t.

“Thanks fer tha’, lass” Gloin said as he helped me onto the platform.

I nodded my head, not knowing what else to say at that moment. We were one platform down and there were many more to go. So we plowed ahead, making our way upwards. There was the odd goblin we had to dispatch along the way. More so the closer we got. Fortunately none have them got the chance to raise the alarm.

We were so close now and I could feel the presence of hundreds of goblins swarming around us. There was a small alcove that we were heading towards. it lay along one of the main paths and it would help to shroud us. Gloin managed to make it there first. He turned back to look where I was and his eyes went wide.

“LOOK OUT”

Then I heard the shrieks of more than one creature. I spun round, swinging wildly with my sword. One of them caught the end of my sword but there were more of them than I realised. They grabbed me with their razor sharp fingers. Ripping into my hair, pulling at my clothes. My sword was gone in an instant. I heard Gloin succumb to the same fate behind me.

They dragged me along. I tried to resist but it only caused them to scratch and bite. I wanted to scream when I felt their disgusting hands roaming around my body. I was yanked this way and that. My feet barely touched the floor. Until finally I was thrown unceremoniously to the ground. Multiple pairs of hands held me down so that I could stand up. A fetid stench blocked my airways. Looking up I saw that I was on the main platform. The Goblin King towered above me. I met Kili’s terrified eyes through the mass of bodies.

“Look what we found sire,”

“An elf”

“A  _ Female _ ”

Shrill voices rang through the cavern and I wanted to curl up.  Gloin was thrown in with the other dwarves. Only I had the luxury of the goblins sole attention. The Goblin King looked down at me like Christmas had come early.

“It’s been such a long time since an elf has graced my kingdom” The Goblin King reached down, a large rotten hand lifted up my chin. His skin was putrid and I could feel a film of something slimy across its surface. The other goblins let go of me when their king approached. Protests were shouted by the dwarves but the Goblin king paid them no mind. He strained my neck up so that I had to look him in the eyes. Tears were falling down my face but I tried not to break. “They take longer to break and their cries are the most exquisite. Lets see what our devices can do to that pretty skin of yours”

I heard the sound of the dwarves trying to rush forwards. An awful panic bloomed violently within me. It was only made worse when the goblins found Thorin’s sword.

“THE GOBLIN CLEAVER” they blarted.

It made the goblins angry and they swarmed. Ripping, biting, clawing. In my panic, my power rose unbidden. Bright, searing light burst out of me and shot out in all directions. The goblins in my immediate vicinity were fried and thrown off the sides. The King took a big brunt of it as well. Half of his face had burned and the skin was sizzling.

Everyone was shocked for a few seconds. It was just enough time for a second wave of blinding light to pour onto the platform. Much larger than mine had been. Blowing all the goblins over the sides.

Gandalf had finally arrived. I could have cried in relief.

“Quick, gather your weapons” said Gandalf “We must fly”

My head was incredibly fuzzy and it took more effort than I’d like to stand. Kili was at my side in an instant. He had my sword in his hand. I reached for it but my hands were awfully shaky.

“Come on!” Kili tried to pull me along.

My ankle screamed at me and I was becoming increasingly tired. Kili realised that I wouldn’t be able to keep up. In one swift move he had picked me up around my waist and flung me over his shoulder. 

Then he ran. 

I could only see behind us as Kili ran. The descending horde of goblins was terrifying. They crawled like a swarm of insects, threatening to devour you whole. I still had my sword in my hand so I swung it when some of the goblins got too close. They made high pitched screams as my blade made contact. But it didn’t deter them, they still kept coming.

I honestly couldn’t tell where Kili was leading me. We swung wildly around bends, dropped and climbed. A few times I nearly slid off his shoulder but another dwarf was there to shove me back on. At one point we were airborne and I had to cling onto Kili for dear life. I had no idea how he remained upright but I wasn’t going to question it, when was the only thing keeping me alive.

The company was fighting them off effectively until Kili stumbled to a stop. The momentum knocked me off of him. I caught myself just in time to not collapse to the ground. The bridge rumbled below us as I saw what had urged Kili to stop. The Goblin King had burst through the bridge from underneath us. His face was blackened and oozing. Only one eye still worked. The goblin swarm then walled us in on all sides.

Gandalf fell backwards as the Goblin King swung for him. “You rats come into my kingdom and dare deface me!” Bellowed the Goblin King “You are surrounded, what are you going to do now?”

Gandalf very kindly made his answer known. With his staff, he rammed it forcefully into the Goblin Kings one good eye. Then, with glamdring, he gored the kings belly and slit his throat. It happened in a matter of moments and all I could do was stare. Both in disgust and morbid fascination.

The king let out a guttural death rattle before pitching forwards. Taking the rest of the bridge with him; us included. For the second time in a matter of hours I was free falling down a mountain. I needed to stop making a habit of this. My stomach was in my throat and I felt nausea rise with it. I fell to the ground as the bridge crashed against the rock wall. Sharp strips of wood shot out as they hit the sides. Some of the dwarves fell through the slats in the wood falling into what had been the suspension part of the bridge. They grabbed the rotten wood and held on for dear life. 

The board beneath Kili also collapsed, sending him sprawling through the bottom. I screamed and reached for him. My finger grazed his arm but he fell further from my reach. Thankfully he caught himself below, wrapping his arms around a beam. I managed to stay on the top. Probably because I was the lightest one in the group.

We landed at the bottom with a bone shuddering crash. I was thrown from the top of the bridge and landed on the dirt below. It took a few moments before I could get my breath back.

“You need to move” I shouted.

“We’re trying” I heard someone say.

But they didn’t move fast enough and the enormous body of the Goblin King landed on top of them. Crushing them below the debris. I rushed to my feet to try and excavate them from the rubble.

“Ye’ve got to be joking” I heard Dwalin growl.

Thorin was the first person I helped up. He got up quickly, wiping off the dust from his coat. Then I turned to help Dori. His leg was caught under a beam and we had to lift it out of the way.

“Gandalf!” Kili yelled.

The goblins were bearing down on us from above. More pissed off than before. 

I finally got Dori out of the rubble when Gandalf told us that we needed to make a break for daylight. It was our only hope now. All the dwarves somehow get themselves free and we were running again. My ankle cried out in protest but I ignored it in favour of running for my life.

Light streamed in from an opening in the tunnel. In that moment, It felt like the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. All of us poured out into the forest. Not stopping to rest until we were a considerable distance away from the cave entrance. I gulped down the clean air of the forest. Fresh and crisp, it felt like a blessing after the stench of goblin town.

Kili ran up to me and wrapped me in his arms. “I was so scared when Thorin said you’d fell”

I sighed in relief, clinging onto him. Being in Kili’s arms helped me to calm down. He lay his forehead against mine. A dwarven gesture.

Gandalf was counting us all to make sure that we were all accounted for. “So that is all 13 dwarves and Leah” he muttered “But where is Bilbo? Has anyone seen him?”

“I saw him slink off when the Goblins took us” said Nori, his perfectly coiffed hair had started to come out.

Thorin’s face twisted in distaste. I knew what he was thinking. He thought that Bilbo had deliberately left them.

“Actually” interrupted Gloin “Me an’ the lass saw Master Baggins falling deeper into the mountain, He musta been pushed off the side”

“Mahal!” Thorin swore “He has gone and gotten himself trapped in the mountain”

The sudden appearance of Bilbo from behind a tree shocked everyone. Well everyone except me. He stood as if he was expecting to be reprimanded but he held his head high. “Actually I found my way out. There was a path that snaked underneath the Goblins”

Thorin’s face remained stoic but I could see a flicker of something in his eyes. “For a moment there I thought you had found your chance and ran. You have been craving the comforts of home since you left”

Bilbo nodded “You’re right, I have. I long for my books and my garden and some decent pipeweed” he chuckled “All of that is home for me, I have that to look forward to when I go back. But none of you have that. You’re home was taken from you. So I am not going to leave until you get to go home too”

Bilbo’s speech was so moving. He had really grown to care about the people in the company despite some of the coldness that he had received. Thorin’s face softened at Bilbo’s words.

I hobbled over towards Bilbo. His face lit up when he saw me. “Leah you’re alive”

“Just about” I mumbled as I brought him in for a hug.

We were shocked apart at the sound of a demented howl. 

Azog had found us already? I just needed to rest for five minutes, was that too much to ask? The other dwarves had heard it too. Each grabbing their weapons. High up on the hill stood a huge pack of wargs and their orc riders. The wargs began to dart down the hill, heading straight for us.

“Run, RUN!” urged Gandalf.

I didn’t need to be told twice. Adrenaline shot through me as I urged my injured leg onwards. The slope slanted dangerously downwards and I had to catch myself on rocks to prevent myself from falling. It wasn’t long before the wargs caught up to us. They drove between us, gnashing their fangs. I swung my sword up to prevent a warg from getting too close. The blade struck on the side of its neck, spraying blood up my face. It fell at my feet but its claws caught my arm on the way down. I staggered backwards but managed to stay upright.

We ran onwards until the slope came to a dangerous drop. There was nowhere else to go and the wargs were still bearing down on us.

“Into the trees!” 

Everyone began ascending into the branches above us. They helped each other and launched people into the trees. Then they began climbing up as well. Just as I was about to reach for a branch, a snarl erupted behind me. A warg had made its way towards us. Strands of drool dripped out from its fangs. Its eyes were completely black and soulless. The warg let out one more snarl before pouncing. Teeth and claws came straight for me.

I didn’t have time to raise my sword. My magic reacted for me, swirling up from deep within. It exploded out once more, blowing the creature backwards. It let out a strangled yelp. Followed by the sound and smell of singed fur and burnt flesh.

All my energy left me at once and I nearly collapsed to the floor. Hands caught underneath my arms preventing me from doing so. The world around me swam out of focus as I was hauled further into the tree. A body pressed me between them and the trunk so that I wouldn’t fall. I fought my body to stay awake and take in great gulping breaths.

The wargs didn’t stop when we got into the trees. They ran headlong into the trunk. Tearing it out by the roots. The tree only lasted for a few moments longer before it listed backwards. A wave of vertigo hit me as the tree fell. I only managed to jump onto the other tree out of sheer luck. It was more falling with style than a jump really. The branch of the tree slammed into my stomach knocking the air out of me. Desperation made me cling to the tree rather than falling out of it.

A blaze of heat suddenly fell past me. The shock of it made me shy away, nearly losing my grip on the tree. Fire was raining down from above, burning the creatures below. The dwarves were launching the flaming projectiles from the boughs above me. The wargs fur caught alight with surprising ease. Spreading quickly.

So quickly in fact that it spread through the trees. The flames began licking their way up back towards us. It was ruining the integrity of the tree and a loud crack signalled the trees descent. Ori and Dori were knocked out of the tree as it fell backwards. Only Gandalf staff managed to catch them. They both dangled over the edge of the cliff. Nothing but air below them.

My own legs were dangling over the edge. Desperately trying to find purchase in the branches below. Adrenaline was the only thing that was keeping me going. My body was so dangerously weak in that moment. It took everything not to fall from the tree.

The sound of black speech rang through the air. Azog had arrived.

Through the flickering flames I saw him. His face shone with malice and unbridled glee at the destruction before him. The sight of him brought bile to my throat. It was really him. The one who would kill Thorin. 

Azog drifted his piercing blue eyes across the tree. Relishing in our despair. His eyes landed on me and a ravenous smile spread across his face. I froze beneath his stare. Sharp, biting words left his mouth but I couldn’t understand what he said. High-pitched, terrified cries left my mouth before I could stop them. Then Azog shifted his attention towards Thorin.

He taunted him and I felt the tree shift as Thorin rose. “N.no Thorin, stop” I stuttered.

Thorin didn’t listen and ran towards the danger with his sword raised. Azog’s warg reacted when Thorin got close enough, knocking him from his feet. He got up just in time to have Azog’s mace slam into his chest. I could hear the dwarves yelling around me. Dwalin tried to climb up but his branch snapped. Nearly sending him into the chasm below. The warg then wrapped its maw around Thorin’s torso. Biting down and piercing his armour. He was thrown several feet and crashed onto a boulder. His sword flew from his grasp and he could barely keep his head up.

It looked like all was lost as Azog sent his lackey to cut off Thorin’s head. A sword lifted up Thorin’s chin. The orc was just about to deal the killing blow when it was attacked by a hobbit. The momentum sent both the orc and Bilbo flying. Bilbo stabbed at the orc, using some of the techniques Dwalin had taught him. Then he backed up so that he was close to Thorin. His lone protector.

I didn’t see much more as a plume of feathers shrouded my vision. The suddenness of it shocked me and what little grip I had on the tree fell away. My body slipped through the air. Strong talons lassoed their way around my middle, preventing me from tumbling into the forest below. Before I could make sense of what was happening I was thrown on the back of a large bird.

The Eagles.

They were so much more impressive than my imagination had me believe. And they had just saved our lives.

I nearly face planted the bird as my body finally succumbed to tiredness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is Beorn's house and a few more surprises


	24. One day we'll reveal the truth

I didn’t fall asleep on the eagle. The adrenaline still coursing through my body prevented me from falling unconscious. Also I was terrified I’d fall off the side if I closed my eyes. Though I did allow myself to lie down. Mainly because I didn’t think I had it in me to stay sitting up while we whirled through the air. The wind resistance was bound to send me flying. My hands were wrapped tightly around the feathers of the birds back.

“I’m not hurting you am I” I said, voice barely audible over the wind.

I didn’t want to be rude to my saviour by yanking out some of his feathers. “No little elfling. It would take a lot more than that to hurt me” his voice was so regal and strong.

Knowing an animal can talk and actually seeing it are two completely different things. I had expected it but when it happened it still left me astounded. “Wh.What is your name?”

“My name is Lythor. What is your’s elfling?”

“My name is Leah. Or Liriel. Both really” I muttered “Thank you for saving me Lythor. I owe you my life”

“You are most welcome Leah or Liriel.”

Then we settled into silence. Lythor flew on, majestically carving a path through the sky. Far below me the ground spread out. The trees were like mere dots from this high up. It was like looking out of an airplane window.

More eagles flew around me. The one holding Thorin was leading the flock. He was still unconscious within the birds talons. Looking within I searched to find the bond. It glittered in my mind’s eye stretching off the left. Kili was on the back of an eagle with his brother. Both cut up but okay. I pulled slightly on the bond. His face whipped around until he found the eagle I was on. He sighed in relief and smiled at me.

Knowing that everyone was safe, even if just for a moment, was like a thorn being removed from my side. The sweet relief nearly made me giddy. Then again that might have been the tiredness seeping into my bones and clouding my mind. The first thing I wanted to do when we landed was to sleep for 24 hours. I’m sure one of the dwarves could carry me if we had to move.

I let out a breathy laugh at the thought. 

Time seemed to cease all meaning as we flew. I couldn’t tell you how long we flew for. All I knew was that the orcs were far behind us and the sun was very high in the sky. Its warm rays were most welcome after the cold of the misty mountains. A rocky peak jutted out against the surrounding forest. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that it was our destination. Lythor confirmed it when he banked forwards, dropping towards the carrock.

Thorin was placed onto the ground first, followed by the rest. Lythor landed gracefully on the rock. He leaned one his wings down so that I could slide off. After so long not standing my legs were jelly, they nearly gave out underneath me. Thankfully, Lythor’s wing pushed me back up. 

Everyone rushed over to their fallen leader. Wanting to see if he was okay.

“I could help” I offered weakly, stumbling forwards.

“Oh no ye will not lass” said Bofur appearing by my side “Look at the state of ye. Bifur make sure she doesn’t try to move”.

Bifur appeared on my other side and I knew I was outmatched. He put an arm around me and led me to a rock I could sit on. I sat down heavily, my limbs feeling like lead. Even though my offer was genuine I was kind of glad they stopped me from healing Thorin. I would have fainted for sure.

It was gandalf who healed Thorin instead. His staff ghosted over Thorin’s body and he muttered near inaudible spells. Fili and Kili looked on in fear for their uncle. Thorin awoke with a gasp.

“The halfling? where is Bilbo?” he gasped, trying to get up.

Gandalf tried to stop Thorin from getting up too fast “Bilbo is here. He is quite safe”

Thorin scrambled up to his feet, with the help of the people around him. He searched frantically until his eyes landed on Bilbo. They softened as soon as they saw him. His face changed as if he was seeing Bilbo in a whole new light.

“What were you doing? you could have gotten yourself killed” said Thorin.

“I couldn’t just  _ leave _ you Thorin. He was going to take your head” Bilbo’s voice cracked slightly on the last word.

“But he didn’t” Thorin’s eyes flickered around Bilbo’s face “Because of you” his voice was now a lot softer.

Thorin strode forward with purpose and wrapped his arms around Bilbo. Holding him tightly. Bilbo was incredibly surprised at first but then returned the hug in kind. Burying his head in Thorin’s fur coat. “I doubted you at every turn and for that I am sorry. I have never been more wrong”

The hug broke off and Bilbo smiled at Thorin “Don’t worry, I would have doubted me too”

Thorin held Bilbo’s shoulder still staring deeply into Bilbo’s face “Never again will I underestimate you Bilbo Baggins”

Bilbo had never looked happier. Even after everything we’d just been through. I guess that this was the point at which he finally felt like he belonged with the company. Bilbo’s gaze drifted over Thorin’s shoulder and he gasped.

“Is that…?”

“It is in fact Mister Baggins.” Gandalf Clarified. “The Lonely Mountain. One of the last great dwarven kingdoms”

It lay in the distance. A single, solitary peak rising dramatically from the ground. The dwarves looked upon it with awe and admiration. It was their home. How long had it been since any of them had laid their eyes upon it?

* * *

We were staying atop the carrock until the next day. That meant we all finally had time to properly rest. No predators would get us today, not this far up from the ground. The Lord of the Eagles, Gwahir, very kindly offered to hunt for us. The only thing we had been eating since we got to the misty mountains was dried fruit, bread and jerky. It was a godsend when the eagles came back with rabbits and a sheep. Though I did sit out when it came to help prepare them. I don’t think I was mentally, emotionally or physically capable of skinning anything in that moment.

I fell asleep before the food was even made. One moment I was sat on my rock and the next I was out like a light. My dreams were a strange mix of old memories resurfacing and new nightmares from our ordeal in the mountain. Mum would be teaching me how to read and then a vision of Azog would invade. It went on like that until I woke.

When I did wake I was laying on my bedroll. A sharp rock was digging painfully into my side that the roll couldn’t cover. I rolled over with a groan. It was around midday when I had accidentally fallen asleep and now a blanket of stars hung above me. With being so far up I had an almost unobstructed view of the sky above.

“It’s rather beautiful isn’t it” Whispered Kili. He was sat up beside me looking up at the stars. Nearly everyone else was asleep. Though I think I could see Dwalin looking around. He was probably on watch.

“It’s amazing” I breathed “You know what the light pollution is like back home we’d never see anything like this”

“Yes” Kili nodded “I remember feeling quite saddened when I couldn’t see the stars properly”

I sat up so that I was level with him. My body obeyed me with little to no resistance. It seemed my long sleep had healed quite a few of my aches and pains. I felt like a new person. Then I snaked my arm through his and I hugged it to me. Placing my head on his shoulder at the same time. I lay there for a moment, just feeling his warmth against me. It was the calmest I’d felt in a while. “I love you” I whispered “I’m so glad you’re safe”

“I love you too” he echoed, the words warming my heart. I felt a kiss against my temple “For a moment there, when Uncle told me you fell, I thought I’d lost you again. I knew you were alive but you could have been anywhere and I wasn’t there to help you. Just like before, with those men. You were in danger and I couldn’t stop it. When those goblins were  _ touching _ you I tried so hard to get to you but I couldn’t” His voice had become strained “I can’t lose you Leah, I didn’t want you to go through any of this”

I covered Kili’s cheek with my hand, making him look at me. He leaned into it and covered it with his own hand. “I’m not going anywhere Kili. We’ve gotten through it now. We’re all  _ alive” _

“But what about what’s to come?” said Kili “I would not have you in a battle. I think my heart would explode”

“Don’t do that, I’ve only just healed it” I joked.

Kili laughed weakly, though I knew his thoughts still lay heavy on his mind. But right now I wanted to concentrate on something nicer. Kili’s eyes were so warm as he looked into my own. With a soft gentleness, I leaned in and placed my lips over his own. I lingered for a second before pulling back. The kiss was chaste but it was full of love. Then Kili gave me a genuine smile, his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“You must be starving,” he said. Then he reached beside him and brought out a wooden bowl. It contained cubes of miscellaneous, cooked meats. They were long cold by now. “I managed to save you some though it is rather cold now”

“Cold food is better than none I guess” I grabbed the bowl from him. The meat was very gristley difficult to chew. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing but I was hungry. Beggars can’t be choosers.

“Do you know what I really want right now?” I said around a bite “Chocolate. I wasn’t even that big of a fan of it when I was back in the other world. But right now I would absolutely destroy a galaxy caramel” My body was craving all things sweet.

“Oh don’t remind me of what I cannot have. It’s torture” Kili joked “My favourite was the one with those odd sweets in. The ones that exploded when you ate them”

“Oh the one with popping candy in. Yeah they’re good too”

Kili and I reminisced about food while I ate my very disappointing meal. It left me in lighter spirits.

When I was done I put my bowl down and looked back at Kili. His courting braid had become very loose with a lot of strands sticking out. I checked my own and found the same. The goblins had tore their tiny, little, gremlin hands through my hair and it was filthy. I needed a bath as soon as possible.

“We need to redo these” I said, wiggling my now pathetic excuse for a braid at him.

He glanced quickly at his own “You’re right” then he glanced at the rest of the company “There’s not really much privacy but I think they’re all asleep anyway”

My bag had somehow been rescued from the goblins. I hadn’t even thought of it at the time. Someone must have grabbed it for me. I took my brush out from the toiletries bag. I zeroed in at the lembas bread at the bottom. I imagine it would have been much nicer than the cold meat but I knew I shouldn’t use it up. It was probably crushed by now but it would be useful when we got to Mirkwood. 

I handed Kili the brush and he made quick work of my hair. It snagged occasionally as there was all sorts clinging to its surface. He quickly rebraided my hair and fastened it with the bead. I did the same for him. Though I did have to shove him when he wouldn’t stop looking at me. His lovey-dovey eyes were putting me off. Eventually he had a matching braid too.

We sat next to each other, holding hands, until the early light of day creeped out over the horizon. The others began to stir when the sun shone in their faces. Most of them grumbled and blearily got to their feet. It took around an hour before everyone was finally up. Then we broke camp. We needed the full day to make it down from the carrock. It was rather a long way down.  

Before we set off, Oin made his way over to me.

“Can a take a look at ye ankle, lass. I didnae get the chance to yesterday because ye were out like a light” he said, setting his bag down in front of him.

I nodded and sat back down. Peeling the boot off of my leg. The paste that gloin had used had now gone dry and crusty. It was pretty gross. Oin picked up my ankle and twisted it gently to the sides. A dull pain still remained but it was manageable. He took the bandages off to reveal the already fading bruises. I heard Oin tut but he told me that it would heal okay. So I put my boot back on and followed on after everyone.

The descent was grueling. Steep drops and razor sharp rocks lined the whole outcrop. We had to find ways to maneuver the whole company downwards. It involved a lot of catching, throwing and jumping. Bombur managed to crush three people below him when he slipped down one particular slope. Poor Bilbo was one of them and had to be pulled free. I’m surprised he didn’t break a rib. Hobbits weren’t as hardy as dwarves after all. 

As evening was beginning to fall we at last made it to the bottom. There were many cries of relief and a few collapsed onto the grass and refused to move any further. It was as perfect a place to camp as any. We chose to move further into a copse of trees that lined the outcrop. That way we would have some cover. When we made our way into the trees, we found that we had struck gold. A river snaked its way through the forest. Leisurely running its course. Water never looked so inviting than it did in that moment.

It was a mad scramble for who would get to bathe first. They all lost however when I pulled the ‘ladies first’ card. I used their dwarven honour against them and I don’t care who knows it. As long as I got clean I did not care.

Gathering my things, I moved a little further upstream. That way I wouldn’t be seen by the camp. But I was close enough if anything bad happened. One yell and they’d come running. Not that I really wanted that to happen while I was half naked in a river. The thought reminded me of the first river I bathed in. When Thorin had nearly come rushing in because I fell in the cold water. I resolved myself not to fall in this time.

I stripped down until I was only in my underwear and then waded in. The cold hit me straight away and I gritted my teeth. My new elven soap smelled amazing and I used it to scrub the grime off me. I dunked my head in and rinsed off my hair. Then I put on my cleanest clothes and set to washing the others. A tune came to my head while I worked.

_ I found a map and it broke my heart _

_ I didn't know that I'd ever go this far _

_ With a compass point driving ink into my arm _

_ The father, son and the holy ghost _

_ Don't talk too much, never been that close _

_ Pouring spirits while I follow the Northern star _

 

_ And as the birds fly south _

_ I've been missing a small house _

_ That holds all my words in precious store _

_ I found your message at the bottom of a bottle _

_ Come back to where the streets are paved with stone _

The song reminded me of this journey. When I finished I gathered all of my things and made my way back. I tried to place all my wet clothes around the fire.

“Ye took ye time lass, it’s nearly dark” said Bifur, already pushing past me.

Everyone took off except for Gandalf. He sat by the fire with his pipe in his hand. I went and sat next to him. “It is good seeing you in better spirits, my dear. You were looking dreadfully pale yesterday”

“Yeah” I sighed “I used way too much of my power, it kinda knocked it out of me”

Gandalf took a big inhale from his pipe. When he exhaled a perfect butterfly emerged and flew off. “Your magic seems to be developing quite well,” he said, “I noticed that Bifur is no longer sporting his axe head piece. I assume that was your doing”

“Yeah it was” I beamed at him.

“Very Impressive, my dear. Very impressive indeed.”

The dwarves were making an almighty racket in the river. There were cheers and splashes and what I could only assume was a water fight turned nasty. I just hoped that none of them drifted to far back this way. I didn’t need to see 13 naked dwarves and a hobbit today. Though there was one dwarf I wouldn’t have minded seeing. 

My face immediately went bright red when I thought about it and I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. Try not to think about the fact that Kili was super naked and covered in water right now. My mind was my own worst enemy. I ended up counting sticks on the ground to distract myself.

Slowly they all trickled back into camp. I froze as Kili came into view. He was laughing about something with his brother. He also had yet to put his shirt back on. His skin was still glistening with water. I suddenly felt very hot and it wasn’t because I was in front of the fire. Fuck me why was he so good looking. My heartbeat picked up and it was immediately noticed by Kili. When he saw me staring, he had the audacity to wink at me before throwing his shirt on. The laces on the front weren’t done up yet so quite a lot of his chest was still on display.

I’m sure he did that on purpose.

He made his way over to me and sat next to me on my log. A mischievous smirk had spread across his face.

“You’ve gotten so hot and bothered maybe you should move away from the fire,” said Kili his voice low and rough.

“I’m perfectly fine where I am, thank you” I said, voice a little too high.

“Suit yourself.” he said, picking up my hand and kissing the back. His smirk deepened as my stupid heart gave me away.

Kili then spent the rest of the night with his shirt unlaced. He stubbornly pretended as if he didn’t notice it. I could see soft, dark hair fanned out across his chest. A part of me wanted to know what it would feel like to run my hands through it.

* * *

We spent the next week haltingly making our way through thick forests. The foliage was thick and there was no clear path through the trees. Sometimes we’d have to circle back the way we came when the path we were on ventured into hazardous drops. I don’t know how the dwarves navigated when we were under the canopy of the trees. They somehow knew which way was west, which was all I needed to know really.

Distant screeches and howls got closer each and every day. Even though we had gotten quite a head start from the eagles, they were gaining on us quite quickly. It didn’t help that they had wargs to ride and we had to walk. What I would give to have Mithiel back. She was a good horse.

Evening was fast approaching and it would have usually been a time to set up camp. However the sound of howls had gotten dangerously close. We couldn’t stop or they would certainly catch our scent and give chase. I just hoped that Beorn was around to scare them off or we would be overrun in no time.

We huddled in the midst of a collection of boulders. Using their height to shroud us from our enemy. Bilbo ended up being our scout. He was nimble and would be the least likely to be seen. 

The sound of a howl reverberated through the air. It was so close it set my nerves on end. I reached out to Kili, grabbing onto his arm. Having him near made me feel somewhat better. 

The howls suddenly changed into whines. Then a deeper, bassy growl of a much larger animal took its place. I felt the hairs on my neck stand up. Good god let that be Beorn, I couldn’t deal with some other mutant orc creature right now. Then again, Beorn in his bear form wasn’t particularly friendly either.

None of the other dwarves seemed to have heard the new creature. Instead they peppered Bilbo with questions about the orcs. Not giving him a chance to explain anything. He would open his mouth only for people to interrupt him again.

“Just listen for goodness sake” Bilbo whispered forcefully “There’s something else out there”

Gandalf didn’t seem too surprised by the circumstances. “What form did the creature take?”

“A bear” said Bilbo “Only much much bigger”

Gandalf nodded to himself, “Yes, yes I suspected as much”

“Ye know this creature Gandalf?” asked Bofur, his eyebrows shooting past the brim of his hat. “Should we turn back”

“No” said Thorin “We’d only be run down by an orc pack”

My sensitive ears picked up the sound of shifting feet somewhere close by. Then the sound of sniffing. Getting ever closer. I swung my head around quickly trying to determine its location.

“Err Gandalf” The other dwarves noticed my now panicked expression “I think now would be a good time to start running to Beorn’s house”

Gandalf nodded “Yes, yes that is the only place of refuge around here. Though he will either welcome us or kill us” then his eyebrows screwed up and he looked as if he had just noticed something he overlooked. “But why would we need to run”

The roar of a very angry bear from right behind him was enough of an answer. Beorn had sniffed us out very quickly.

No one wasted time as we booked our way out of there. With an incredibly large bear resolutely on our tail. The forest soon gave way to green, open pastures. However I didn’t have the chance to marvel at its beauty as I ran for my life. I’d have to get a better look in the morning. Bees the size of your hand flitted by next to us. Scaring the shit out of me when they appeared out of nowhere. I’m not a big fan of bugs and ones this big were not something I needed to see.

Beorn’s halls sat at the far end of the field we ran through. Everyone bolted for the door. Causing a mad crush as they tried to push a locked door. I caught a few elbows to the ribs as I tried to make my way forwards. Thorin, thankfully, had the brains to lift the outside lock up off the door and shove the thing open. We all barrelled inside, nearly tripping over each other in the process. The last dwarf got through just as the face of a bear gnashed its teeth at the entryway. Bofur fell backwards away from the creatures mouth. The rest of the dwarves rallied behind the door and fought to get it closed. When they finally did, they collapsed against the wood. Tired sighs falling from there mouth.

“Wh.what was that?” asked Ori, visibly shaken.

“That my dear Ori was our host.” said Gandalf, he didn’t seem as ruffled as the rest of us “And as Leah has already stated his name is Beorn. He’s a skin-changer” 

I put my hand over my chest. Willing my heart to stop racing. It didn’t help that Kili’s own was running a mile a minute. I took several deep breaths to try and steady myself. A nervous laugh was bubbling up at what we just went through. I guess I can cross ‘get chased by a bear’ off the bucket list now.

Some of the dwarves started arguing about the morality of a man that could turn into a bear. I decided not to get involved in that particular debate. In all honesty, I thought Beorn was super cool. The dude was like 9ft tall, could change into a bear and loved his animals. I mean what a guy.

“You lot don’t half make a racket” a new voice cut through the air. Effectively silencing everyone.

The dwarves spun round weapons at the ready. Where as I nearly started crying at the sound. I spun around quickly to see the speaker. She stood there, arms crossed, a pleasant smile on her face. A large, maroon shirt hung off her slight frame and her hair was in a long fishtail braid. Looking almost the same as when I last saw her. Except for the now delicate points of her ears.

“Mum!” I cried, tears welling up in my eyes.

When she noticed me she covered her mouth with her hand. Her own tears welling up in her eyes. Both of us ran towards each other. She enveloped me in her arms and I buried my face in her neck. Mum was here. She was safe. Her familiar embrace and the smell of her skin made me more emotional than I thought possible. So much had happened since I last saw her. I’d been so scared. In that moment, I was a child and my mum was comforting me. Chasing the nightmares away.

“Oh Leah I’ve been so worried” her hand laced into my hair. Then she leaned back to see my face. Her hands cupped my cheeks, wiping tears away with her thumbs. “You must have been so scared darling. I’m so sorry”

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered, looking up into mum’s eyes. The relief at seeing her face was staggering. Everything suddenly felt like it would be okay. My mum was here, of course I’d be safe.

“Ellen” Kili breathed next to me “It’s good to see you again”

Mum turned to Kili with a smile. “Oh Kili it’s good to see you too” Then she enveloped him in a quick hug too. He seemed a bit surprised but accepted the hug in kind.

I was too busy feeling elated and having a huge smile stretched across my face that I didn’t immediately see Gandalf’s awestruck expression. It was only after he spoke that I noticed it.

“Elinneth” he gasped, walking towards my mum “Elrond told his suspicions but I did not dare hope”

Gandalf reached out a hand and mum took it, smiling up at him. The familiarity of her smile and the fact that my mum didn’t even blink when Gandalf called her Elinneth, had me thinking that she had gotten more memories back I had. “Mithrandir, it has been a long time,” then she added “For you at least”

“Yes, yes it has” Gandalf looked at my mum as if she were a miracle. Then he looked down at me as if seeing me in a new light.

* * *

Introductions were made between the company and mum. Some were a bit wary of her because she was an elf. I think they often forgot that I was one too because I was so short. Most of them however were very respectful. If only because she was my mother and they didn’t want to offend me.

Thorin was one of the few dwarves that approached my mum properly. He stood as tall as he could, looking every bit as regal as he was. Then he inclined his head in deep bow. “Lady Ellen, Kili has told me of you and your actions in defending him. If you were not there when he left our world I do not know what would have become of him. You have my gratitude”

Mum looked touched at Thorin’s words. When he looked back up at her she replied. “You do not have to thank me Mr Oakenshield. I did what I had to in order to help. I’m sure you would have done the same thing for my Leah”

“Yes” Thorin murmured, then he turned to look at me “In fact, I already have”

Mum’s eyes widened slightly, fear breaking through her happy face. She looked towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder “I think there is much you need to tell me to bring me up to speed”

Mum led us towards a large seating area. Most of the chairs were too large for us to sit on comfortably: our feet would be dangling high off the floor. However there were a few benches that were low enough to sit on. And most importantly, there was a hearth with a burning fire. It helped to drive away the chill of the autumn air.

I sat next to mum on one of the low lying benches. It was slightly too small for her height, her knees were bunched up. Though it was perfect height for me. The other dwarves either found a bench to sit on or crowded around the fire on the floor.

“How did you get here mum?” I asked.

“Oh this is where the doorway had spat me out” she explained “I was driving the car when I was suddenly assaulted by a bright light. When I woke up I was in the nearby forest. Beorn found me and very kindly let me stay with him”

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This whole time I had feared the worst for my mum. But, thankfully, she had been here. Safe and out of harm's way.

Mum then looked at me expectantly “And what about your story. I daresay it is more colourful than mine”

“I don’t know where to start,” I said, looking at my hands.

Mum covered my hands with her own. “How you got here would probably be a good start”

So I told her about how I arrived in the middle of the forest, dizzy and disoriented. About how I was found by a lovely dwarf couple and they let me stay with them. She found it funny when they thought that I was a child. Then she patted me on the head and said “It’s not their fault darling, you are rather short”. I gave her a fake frown and pushed her hand away. She simply laughed good naturedly. I’d blame genetics but both mum and dad were a lot taller than me.

She wasn’t very surprised when I told her about my stint as a bard. It was very much in character for me to do something like that apparently. Mum was also rather amazed when I told her of the dwarf friends I had made in Rildolach. In fact she seemed rather proud when I told her that one of them forged a sword for me.

“You must have really left an impression for them to do something like that,” she said.

Then I had to spoil her good mood when I told her about those wretched men. “Thorin found me when he came through Rildolach. I managed to convince him to take him with me” I looked over and gave Thorin a smile. He nodded his head, not quite smiling but his eyes crinkled. 

I took a deep breath before carrying on. I hated telling my mum these things but I also needed her to know. “But before we left I wanted to say goodbye to my friend Mani. I didn’t have to meet thorin for a little while so I went out to go see him...But I was grabbed before I got there. Three men tried to t.take me. Saying that they would get rich if they sold an elf-child on the black market”

I felt Kili’s hand tighten on my arm. He despised hearing about this story, I knew. Mum on the other hand froze. Her eyes were like a raging inferno. It was worse than the time I came home from when Ethan had cornered me.

“Saura deleb uuan!” Mum spat “Im gamp nín donn dad le lanc rista hûn!”

“Mum?” I said, slightly amazed by her outburst. I had understood everything she said but by the looks of the people around me, they had not.

“Wh.what did she say?” said a confused Ori from a place near the fire.

A bemused smile came across my face “Er stuff about putrid monsters and ripping out hearts from their throat” It was like one of the most badass things I’d heard her say. I also 100% believed that she was capable of it.

“There will be no need for that,” said Thorin, something in Thorin’s eye suggested that he liked the way my mother reacted. He would probably say something similar if it were about one of his nephews. “I already sent a sword through their gut”

“Good” mum said, levelling a look at Thorin. Anger still brimmed in her eyes but there was also immense gratitude “Thank you so much. If you had not been there..” my mum broke off. 

She shook her head as if to dispel her thoughts and then sighed deeply. Composing herself once more. “It seems we are even Mr Oakenshield. I protected Kili and you protected my daughter.”

“That it does my lady” said Thorin.

Then I moved on to the rest of the tale. How we got to the shire and the journey from there. Some of the other dwarves chimed in, wanting to tell stories of their own. Mum seemed fascinated by how I changed the encounter with the trolls. However at the same time she was livid that I’d been ‘mauled’ by one. I could tell my mum felt immensely guilty about the fact that she hadn’t been there to help me. She was like Kili in that respect.

“Yeah she used her freaky elf powers to turn the thing to stone” said Fili.

Mum smiled knowingly and squeezed my hands. She seemed to know quite a bit already. We would need to have a talk later. Maybe she knew more about this whole situation than I did. 

The stories continued until I got to the orc attack. My breath hitched as I tried to explain how Kili had died. How I had somehow brought him back. Mum’s mouth fell open and her eyes went almost comically wide. Then her gaze shifted down to the centre of my chest. For a second in seemed like she was looking through me and then she gasped. Following the bond with her eyes.

“Eru above Leah. I can’t believe it.” She covered her mouth with her hand “But this means that your lives are tied together”

I bowed my head sheepishly “Yeah, Lord Elrond told me”

Mum huffed out a laugh. It sounded more like a helpless laugh, like when the situation is so far beyond your control you can’t do anything else. “I leave you for one minute and you end up binding your soul to someone”

“I didn’t mean to,” I said, bashful.

“Oh, I know darling” she said sighing and covering her face “It’s just a lot to take in”

* * *

We quickly told mum the rest of the story. After that everyone decided that they needed to sleep. The night had long since fallen after all. Mum stood up and showed the dwarves where they could stay. There were blankets and pillows already out for people to use. As if mum knew we had been coming. Which she did. 

Then mum said that she had been given her own bed by Beorn and that I was welcome to share it with her. I agreed readily. The thought of a mattress to sleep on made me sigh with happiness. I smiled apologetically at Kili who was sleeping on the ground and followed mum to where we would be sleeping.

The bed was huge. Like a super king size, we would be swallowed up in the middle. It seemed that Beorn did not know how to make beds for normal sized people. The sight of it made me grin and I immediately launched myself at it. My face burying itself in the thick blanket. I heard mum giggle from somewhere behind me. Then I felt an insistent tugging on my leg. My shoe came off after a little resistance.

“You are not wearing your shoes in this bed missy” she said, taking the other one off.

That was fair enough really. I’d forgotten that I had them on when I jumped onto the mattress. Once they were off I climbed up to the top of the bed and crawled under the covers. Mum followed suit and climbed in after me. She hugged me close to her, not wanting to let me go. I could hear the steady beat of her heart as I lay my head on her chest. Mum hugs make everything better. Even when your terrified they can make you feel safe. If even for a moment. The past few months had been a whirlwind and it felt so good to have the stability of my mum in front of me.

Mum leaned back so that she could see my face. Then she reached up with her hand. I thought she was going to cup my face but it moved to something on the side. Her hand moved to the braid on the side of my head. She lifted it up with a grin and a question in her eyes.

“So are you going to tell me what this is?” she tickled my nose with the end of the braid.

“Kili asked me to court him,” I said with a cheesy grin. It felt like I was on a sleepover talking about the boy I liked. I usually tell my mum everything. She was always up to date on the things happening in my life There were times when I’d rush home just to tell her about something. It was so odd that so much had happened and she wasn’t up to speed. If we were back in the other world we would have already gushed about Kili.

“I knew there was something between you two,” she smiled.

“And you didn’t think to tell me” I laughed “I spent ages trying to figure it out”

I then told her how Kili had asked me to court him. Mum oohed and aahed accordingly. “Now the important question is, is he a good kisser”

I felt my cheeks go red “Yes, he rather is” we both giggled like school girls.

“You know in elven culture he’s supposed to ask the parents first” Mum said “It’s more of a sign of respect really because it’s frowned upon to actually forbid a courting. But he didn’t ask me first, how scandalous” mum mock gasped.

The mention of elven culture made me curious. My face became serious again as I asked her “Mum, how much do you remember of your first life? I can’t really remember much of mine and the only way I found out I was from here is because of Elrond”

Mum’s face turned serious too and her eyes were sympathetic. “I think I can remember all of it darling. Probably because I’m quite a bit older than you. You were only 25 years old when you left here, your mind hadn’t fully developed yet. That’s probably why you’ve been struggling to recall much. I lived for thousands of years as an elf and my memories came back nearly straight away.”

“Lady Galadriel tried t show me my past” I whispered

“She did?”

“Yeah in that water basin thing. It was mainly you and dad that I saw. But I also saw how we...died” pain flashed in mum’s eyes and her mouth tightened.

“I.I saw the way that dad broke when you died” my throat felt tight. A tear had started to fall down my mum’s cheek. “It was because we left. Your Fëa wasn’t in Middle Earth anymore. You were ripped apart. That’s why you were in pain when the portal opened, wasn’t it?”

Mum nodded, another tear slipping down her face. I felt myself tear up along with her. “Are you still in pain?” She had been so utterly distraught when I last saw her I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“It does” she conceded but then a hopeful glint shone in her eye, “But I know that it won’t last forever because I know that we will see your father again. And my  _ little boy _ “ her voice nearly broke when she spoke about my brother.

“They’re alive” I don’t know if I asked it as a question or said it as a statement but a torrent of emotion bubbled up in me. My family were alive and they were out there somewhere. The thought of seeing them again was nearly overwhelming. Would I even be able to recognise my own twin brother? Are we even considered twins anymore? he was now a lot older than I was. Once he was the older one by 15 minutes now it was more like 1500 years. 

“Yes, they are” mum gave me a watery smile.

“I’m still not sure who they are in this world though” I confessed. I felt awful that after all this time I was still none the wiser. Even with all my new memories I’d somehow managed to not learn their names. “I only know them as Theodore and Lachlan”

Mum seemed shocked for a moment. Then she looked at me with sympathy and a smile. Her hand caressed my cheek “Oh my sweet girl.” she breathed “You are Liriel Thranduiliel and your brother is Legolas Thranduilion”

My heart skipped a beat.

“And your father is Thranduil Oropherion, King of the woodland realm”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Though I'm sure a lot of you had already guessed who papa Orrison was. I loved laying all the little clues in the other chapters. I nearly wrote the name Legolas in one of the other chapters and I had to delete it before I accidentally posted it lol.   
> So the name Orrison was chosen because of Thranduil really. His last name is Oropherion which is basically Oropherson so I shortened it to Orrison. I could have gone for Oroson, I guess, but Orrison is a real last name and sounds more realistic.  
> It also seems that reunions are going to be right around the corner.
> 
> Lighthouse- Lucy Spraggan  
> saura deleb uuan- Putrid loathsome monster  
> Im gamp nín dond dad le lanc rista hûn_ I will claw my fist down their throat and rip out their heart


	25. Where you invest your love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written a one shot for Thranduil's POV of how Leah and her mother died the first time if you want to give that a read. https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535206

Thranduil was my dad!

That’s just fucking mental. I mean, there had been a small part of me that had guessed it was him. But I had thought myself childish for thinking so. Obviously I was just wishing for fairytales. When mum had said the name my breath caught in my throat.

After scouring through my memories I realised that it made sense. Like a missing puzzle piece finally slipping into place. In my memories dad had been called a lord by others and he’d worn a crown. And he had always been mum’s favourite character. Along with Legolas. Does that count as nepotism?

Oh my god Lachlan was Legolas!

How is that fair? He gets to be a cool elf warrior, all tall and aloof, whereas I was short as hell and wasn’t great at fighting. How would I ever compare? I would have to assert my dominance when I finally saw him. Resort to calling him by the nickname I’d used as a child. He would forever be known as Legolassie or simply Lassie.

I had no idea why my first instinct when finding out my twin brother was alive was to tease him. It was probably the shock of finding out. Like when manly men start getting emotional and result to insulting their friends instead. Not that I was manly, or a man, but the sudden emotion that gripped me was so fierce. Thinking about how Legolas would react to the nickname had made me laugh and helped me to cope with the overwhelming feelings.

They were so close. We simply had to get through Mirkwood and I would see them again. Would they look the same? I doubted my dad would have changed much because he was already a full grown elf. But Legolas was a child last time I saw him. He would look completely different. Would I be able to recognise him? Or would he be able to recognise me for that matter? My stomach tightened at the thought of my own family staring at me as if I was a stranger.

I also decided that under no circumstances would any of the dwarves find out. Obviously they would find out eventually but hopefully I would have thought of a way to soften the blow by then. The dwarves had warmed up to me-liked me even. If they found out that I was in fact Thranduil’s daughter I don’t know what they’d think. I especially did not want Thorin finding out. What if he decided that I was no longer worthy of courting Kili? I was the daughter of an enemy King after all.

Holy shit I just realised that that makes me royalty!

I was a princess. Princess Liriel Thranduiliel. It sounded far more grand than Leah Orrison did. This whole time I thought I was punching above my station because Kili was a dwarven prince. Now it turned out we were on equal footing. Both the second born heir to the throne. The thought made my headspin. 

I’m surprised I got any sleep last night with the way my thoughts were spinning around my head. Mum’s presence probably helped some. Her warm, familiar weight next to me was the stability I needed. I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in ages. Soft sunlight streamed in through the curtains on the window. The air was warm against my skin. A welcome feeling after spending so long outside. Sleeping on a proper mattress also did wonders for my back. I felt kinda bad that I’d let everyone else sleep on the floor. Not enough to give up my bed though. I was a smart woman. no elf. Elleth? Well the terminology doesn’t matter, all that matters is that I wasn’t losing this bed for any reason.

Mum and I were one of the first to wake up. We wandered into the other parts of the house, discovering sleeping dwarves as we went. Some parts also contained cows and sheep, all chilling in their own little spaces. When we got the sitting room we found Gandalf staring into the dwindling coals of the fire. He heard us come in and turned in our direction.

“Ah good morning, your highness,” he said, directed towards my mum.

I looked around quickly, hoping no one else was around to hear him say that. No one appeared to be around but I couldn’t be sure. Bilbo had the ring now, he could be snooping around any corner.

That was mean though. I shouldn’t think so low of Bilbo, he wouldn’t snoop just for the sake of it. I was just being paranoid. 

“Mithrandir, it is probably best if we stick to just Elinneth while we’re around company” said mum.

Gandalf nodded “Yes, yes you are quite right. Elinneth it is” 

He stood up from his seat by the fire as we approached him. “Leah, my dear. It seems as though the mystery of you is finally revealing itself. I trust your naneth has brought you up to speed”

“She definitely has” 

“I never met you during your first life. That is why I did not recognise you for who you are. Though I have since become acquainted with your brother, Legolas” said Gandalf. There was a joy in his eyes as he looked down upon me.

I heard mum gasp beside me “My boy, Legolas, how is he?” mum’s voice was tight.

Gandalf turned back towards my mum, a twinkle still shining in his eye. “Oh Elinneth, my dear, he has grown into a fine ellon. Strong and kind-hearted. And his skill with a bow seems quite unparalleled.”

Mum’s eyes shone with unshed tears, yet a proud smile spread across her face. Gandalf grasped mum’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Then his smile dropped slightly.

“Now” he sighed, “We must face the task of introducing ourselves to our host. I fear that he will not be welcoming of us. I have been mulling over the best way to approach him”

Mum did not seem too fazed by the task “I’ve been Beorn’s guest for some months now. I think I may be able to sway his favour towards you”

While mum and Gandalf began discussing the best way to introduce themselves, my attention had been diverted elsewhere. A faint mewling had me swinging my head around. Trying to pinpoint the sound. From behind one of the overly large chairs, the sound arose again. Mum and Gandalf didn’t seem to need me so I decided that I wouldn’t be missed if I investigated. I slipped past mum, who only gave me a questioning glance before turning back. Behind the chair was a pile of fabric scraps. They had been formed into a tiny bed of some sort. In the centre sat a very fluffy mass, stretching and yawning. I gasped when I saw it. It was a kitten. Old enough to not have to be with its mother but still tiny. The fur was a deep orange and had faint stripes trailing across its back.

“Hello” I breathed “Aren’t you gorgeous”

Kneeling down, I slowly reached my hand towards it. Letting it sniff my hand. It looked at me apprehensively before leaning closer and sniffing my hand. Its little nose twitching as it did. Then it deemed me worthy and rubbed its face against my hand. A cat version of a hug. A blessing.

Invitation accepted, I stroked its tiny head. The fur was so soft and I could hear it purring. I couldn’t stay here forever though. Mum and Gandalf had reached a consensus and I could hear others stirring. With great reluctance, I made to get up. When I stopped stroking it, the tiny creature looked offended. It made to follow me. 

“Oh i can’t just leave you here can I?” I smiled, scooping the kitten into my arms. It immediately began to snuggle my face. “I’m gonna call you Clarence” I muttered kissing the top of his head.

My awful pet naming skills shone through with full force. One time Anika asked me to help her name a fish and the best I could come up with was Maurice. Which in my opinion is a perfect name for a fish but no one else agreed.

When I stood up, I realised that more people had found their way into the sitting room. My eyes met Thorin’s and I saw the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. “Of course you would find an animal to bother”

Mum turned towards me, laughing at Thorin’s words. “Yes that would be Leah through and through.”

“I’m not bothering him” I said “He loves me” Clarence purred as if to confirm his love for me. Mum simply shook her head.

They waited until everyone was awake before going out to see Beorn. Mum had told Gandalf that bringing the dwarves out in groups of two was a rather terrible idea. It made Gandalf frown but he conceded that we should try a different way. I also told them that they shouldn’t say ‘at your service’ to him. I remembered in the book he had gotten annoyed and kept saying that there was no service the dwarves could do for him. Everyone seemed a bit confused because that was just how they introduced themselves in conversation. However they reluctantly agreed. Even if Dori muttered under his breath about the ‘impropriety’ of it all.

It was decided that mum, Gandalf, Bilbo and I would be the first ones to go out and greet Beorn. We were the most friendly, I guess. He wasn’t a fan of dwarves after all so it wasn’t wise for one of them to be the first person Beorn saw. 

The sound of an axe dropping and wood splitting, alerted us to the presence of our host. Bilbo was rather nervous beside me. His nose was twitching in the way he did when he was anxious about something. Conversely, I was beyond excited. Bouncing on the balls of my feet. The guy was like 9ft tall, could turn into a huge bear and loved animals. He would, undoubtedly, be one of the coolest people I have ever met.

Clarence was still in my arms as we made our way outside. Bilbo had gotten a bit panicked when he saw and told me I should put him down. He was scared that I would offend Beorn by touching his animals. I guess he had a point. However, Clarence wasn’t the most co-operative of cats. He resolutely refused to be put down. It seemed that I would be his new perch for the time being.

We left through the front door and wound our way around the house. Mum and I were at the front with Gandalf and Bilbo trailing behind. As he had been rudely locked out of his own house, Beorn had decided to busy himself with chopping wood. It took a moment for my mind to comprehend the sheer is of him. Knowing he was around 9ft tall did not prepare me for actually seeing a 9ft tall man. I would probably only reach his hip. Even the axe he wielded was taller than me. My mouth dropped open in wonder. I quickly shut it as Clarence headbutted my chin. 

“Good morning, Beorn” said mum, cheerily.

Beorn swung his axe down, cleaving a log in two. He left the axe buried in the tree stump below and looked towards mum. Then he raised an eyebrow when he saw me. 

“Good morning, Elinneth.” he walked towards us before sinking to one knee. Until he was almost eye level with me. I felt a little self-conscious under his gaze and I stroked Clarence’s face so that I had something to do with my hands. Beorn smiled at the gesture “Who is our guest?”

“This is my daughter, Leah. The one I was telling you about” mum said, resting her arm across my shoulders.

Beorn broke into a grin “So you have found each other. That is good.” he said “Your mother has told me all about you, little elfling”

I let the ‘little elfling’ comment slide. Even if I told him I wasn’t in fact a child I doubt he would believe me.

Beorn’s gaze drifted to the orange fluff ball in my arms. “It seems you have made a friend” Clarence responded to Beorn with a mixture of meows and purrs. Beorn looked to be listening very intently. Then he chuckled at whatever the cat said to him. “Usually I let my animals name themselves. However this little kitten has said that he will not respond to anything other than the name you have provided for it.”

“He just looked like a Clarence to me” I smiled shyly.

“I like those who show kindness to animals, little one” said Beorn. Then he straightened up to his full height, looking at something behind us.

“It seems that there are more people to introduce” Beorn huffed.

* * *

Beorn was not at all pleased about the idea of 13 dwarves staying in his house. However, mum and I managed to soften the blow. In the end, it was the presence of orcs that caused Beorn to let us stay. He despised those creatures above all others and would rather deny them their prey than give it to them. Most breathed a sigh of relief when Beorn agreed to house us. Though some were still on edge, not trusting the giant man at all.

He provided us with breakfast at his very large table. My feet swung below me, very far off the ground. There was all sorts of food spread out before us. Breads, fruits, cheeses. It felt good to eat proper food again. Not just whatever we could forage or hunt at the time. You should never underestimate the power of good bread. Of course there was no meat though. Beorn was a vegetarian after all. I could see the dwarves internally moaning at that fact. Thankfully, none of them spoke up or we would probably get chucked out.

Kili sat next to me, happily eating a honey cake. Whenever I looked at him I felt my heart beat pick up. The need to tell him about my dad was so overwhelming. Yet at the same time, it terrified me. How would he react? Would he think differently of me knowing that my dad was King Thranduil? If my dad had been anyone else, I would have told Kili straight away. He would be so happy for me. It felt weird to keep this a secret from him. Also, Kili could tell that there was something I was hiding. He raised an eyebrow at me when my heartbeat kept picking up.  

We were to stay here for at least a week. To gather our strength and restock our dwindling supplies. Beorn very kindly offered to give us some supplies to take with us through Mirkwood. I was very grateful for the rest. Having to walk for miles everyday took a lot out of a girl. 

During the rest of the day everyone decided to better acquaint themselves with the surrounding area. Beorn himself gave me and Bilbo a tour of his lands. One of the things he showed us was his honey pastures. I won’t lie the giant bees freaked the shit out of me. They can be cute, from a distance, but as soon as they started flying too close I would nope out of there. Beorn laughed at my distress and told me that there was nothing to be afraid of. One flew onto the end of his finger and he held it out to me. 

“They are quite friendly little one, nothing to fear” he grabbed my hand with his free one and placed the humongous bee right into the middle of it.

At first I was not a fan. The buzzing sounded aggressive and my mind was telling me that it was a threat. When it didn’t do anything sinister, I managed to calm down somewhat. It was kinda fluffy and seemed to be a happy bee. The bee stayed in my palm for a few more seconds before flying off to a flower. 

Even though I knew that they were friendly it still took a lot not to flinch back from them when they flew too close. Me and flying insects would never get on it seemed.

The day wore on and soon the sky was a rich amber colour. We came back inside and Beorn offered to have water brought in for a bath. I nearly cried at the thought of a hot bath. None of the others got such an offer. Instead Beorn simply pointed to the river outside and told the dwarves to use that.

I could have declined graciously but instead I laughed at the dwarves insulted reactions and followed after Beorn. He had buckets of water brought up and heated by a fire. The buckets were brought in by and assortment of animals. Mostly dogs but there was also a cow and a sheep. It was a strange sight seeing a bunch of animals carry a swinging bucket in their mouths.

The bath was a very large wooden tub that Beorn had placed in mine and mum’s room. He upturned one of the buckets to create a step for me. I thanked him profusely as he left the room: followed by a train of animals. Clarence had, reluctantly, been placed on the bed. He only surrendered when Beorn had a word with him.

As soon as Beorn left I made sure that the door was fully closed. There wasn’t a lock unfortunately but I trusted the dwarves not to come barging in. Once I was certain that the door wouldn’t swing open, I quickly undressed and climbed into the bath. I sighed as my body sunk under the surface. After spending so long in the cold, the heat from the water was like heaven.

I used the soap that the elves had given me. The smell was divine. So much so that I may have been overzealous with how much I used. I know I should be saving it but I got carried away with wanting to smell nice. The water went cold faster than I appreciated. After a little while I reluctantly got out. I changed into a clean pair of leggings and donned my sports bra. My hair needed to dry a bit before I put one of my shirts on, so I sat at the edge of the bed dabbing it with a towel.

A knock at the door had me dropping my hands from my head. “Leah, are you still in there?” came Kili’s voice from the other side of the door.

Now, back in my world I was in no way indecent. Many people wore a sports bra and leggings on a regular basis. In this world however it was probably obscene. Yet I also thought it was the perfect way to get back at Kili for the other day. He thought he was being clever, coming in to the camp without a shirt. Winking at me. Let’s see how he reacts when it’s the other way around. My boobs looked pretty good in this sports bra, if I do say so myself. Perhaps he would think the same.

Pulling my shoulders back, I made my way over to the door. I opened it just enough so that Kili could see me but not enough that anyone else would be able to if they were nearby.

“Yes, I’m here” I said with what I hoped was a dazzling smile.

I don’t think I’d ever seen Kili’s eyes widen so much. His gaze drifted across me and still suddenly when he reached my boobs. Then his cheeks deepened to a bright red and I felt his pulse racing a mile a minute. Quickly his eyes flashed back to mine.

“What did you need Kili?” I asked, as if nothing was wrong.

“Er. Bom. Bombur said that f.food was ready” stuttered Kili, trying very hard to maintain eye contact with me. He wasn’t the best at it.

“Oh good, I’m starving” I said “I’ll just be a moment”

Then I closed the door effectively shutting out the very shocked Kili. I lent back against the closed door. Holy shit I can’t believe I just did that! I’ve never really been one to be outwardly flirty. Some people managed to do it with ease, whereas I would usually flounder. To the point that it was too awkward to witness. This time seemed like a success though, if Kili’s reaction was anything to go by. His heartbeat still pounded on beside mine, still not having lessened despite me no longer being in front of him.

It made me smirk as I went to throw on the first shirt I could find. Kili was still there when I opened the door back up. He seemed to have composed himself some and smiled back at me. I swear I saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes when I came out fully dressed. He offered me his arm and I looped mine through it. Then he led me towards the dining room, where the loud voices of the company were coming from.

* * *

It had been several days since we had arrived at Beorn’s. The days were filled with preparing, training and a well deserved rest. A lot more smiles had returned to the dwarves faces. Without the looming threat of an orc attack, they could finally relax and not have to be constantly vigilant.

I was currently sat in the grass surrounded by dogs. Most of them were laying on their backs soaking up the sunshine. Two of them, however, were battling to sit on my lap. They nearly knocked me over in their attempt. I could hear Beorn laughing good naturedly behind me. He was sitting on a bench whitling something out of wood. The dogs had been following him but had moved onto me when he sat down. Clarence now sat beside him, having vacated my lap when the dogs arrived.

“I only have so many hands” I said, while almost getting headbutted by the two dogs.

“Rana, Leif give the girl some space” said Beorn, clearly amused.

Rana immediately backed off and lay her head in my lap instead. Leif did the same but only after giving my face a quick lick.

The sound of footsteps alerted me to someone approaching. When I looked up, I saw that the footsteps had belonged to none other than Kili. He smiled down at me and my pile of dogs.

“You look like you’re having fun” he said

“I got accosted by dogs”

“I see” he laughed, then he extended a hand down towards me. “Would you like to take a walk with me?”

I nodded before reaching for Kili’s hand and grasping it firmly. Then he hoisted me up, being careful not to jostle the dogs too much. They let out a little groan as I moved them, not happy that I was leaving. A few of the other dogs lifted their heads up at me as if asking where I was going. 

“I’m not going too far, don’t worry.” I told them.

Then I allowed Kili to lead me away. We walked through Beorn’s gardens, marveling at the beautiful flowers. Dori was sitting on a bench next to Ori. He was fussing about the younger dwarf but Ori simply wanted to write in his book. Dwalin, Gloin and Fili were sparring in the middle of an open field. Oin watched on, while he prepared poultices from Beorn’s herb garden. I wasn’t sure where everyone else was. Probably inside somewhere. 

Kili guided me past everyone else. He walked until we couldn’t see them anymore. Towards a copse of trees where you could hear the sound of the Anduin river rushing past. Where was this boy leading me?

Through some trees we came to a little meadow. It was full of wildflowers of all shapes, colours and sizes. In the middle of it sat a large blanket and a basket of food.

“I thought you would like a picnic” said Kili, looking at me to gauge my reaction.

“Who knew you could be so romantic” I said, a smile stretched across my face. 

“I’m always romantic”

Then I leaned forward and captured his lips with my own. He gasped slightly before deepening the kiss. Grabbing the back of my head so that he could tilt my head to a better angle. My own hands found their way into Kili’s hair. He made a rough sound at the back of his throat when I tugged slightly.

We pulled away, gasping. I smiled giddily at Kili and he did the same back. His eyes roamed over my face.

“Sasakhabiya abnâmul, amrâlimê” he whispered

His words took my breath away and I wasn’t even sure what most of them meant. He could have been saying that I looked like a tree but I still would have smiled at him. “Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you speak Khuzdul?”

“No you haven’t but I’ll keep that in mind,” he said with a heated gaze before gently kissing me again. “Ghivashel sanâzyung” he whispered into my mouth.

His words made me deepen the kiss once more.

* * *

At one point we actually managed to break apart for long enough to sit down on the blanket. Kili had brought a mixture of foods with him. Including: cheese scones, grapes, bread and many cakes. Beorn was quite the baker it seemed. His specialty being honey cakes. Which Kili was a particular fan off; he had a very sweet tooth. Kili had also managed to get two bottles of honey mead. It was rather tasty, if not a little strong.

“Something has been bothering you, Leah” said Kili. He was stretched out next to me, a bottle of mead in his hand. His face was kind and I could see the concern in his eyes. I hadn’t been hiding my worry very well it seemed. “You found your mother. I thought you would be over the moon. But it looks like something has been weighing heavy on your mind”

I looked down, not able to keep looking Kili in the eyes. He’d be able to see straight through me if I lied and said nothing was wrong. My hands drifted towards the ground, picking up flowers. They seemed to move of their own volition and began to twist the flowers together.

“I am happy that I found mum. So happy.” I braided the flowers together, adding more as I went “It’s just… she told me things...about me and it’s just  _ huge _ and so hard to wrap my head around.” I realised that I was actually making a flower crown. Mum used to make them for me when we would go for nature walks.

“You can tell me anything, Leah. You know that right?” Kili covered my hand with his. I looked up to him and met his gaze. His face was so open and earnest. I knew that he was being 100% genuine.

“I know. I want to tell you so badly but at the same time I’m terrified. What if I tell you and you start thinking different of me?” Why did things have to be so complicated?

“Don’t be foolish, nothing would ever make me think differently of you.” He said with a smile, “I mean you’re already an elf from another world who also brought someone back from the dead. Is this new information anymore outlandish than that?” 

“I guess it’s not as crazy as that” I conceded with a small smile. 

Kili looked like he was waiting with bated breath. I’d made him nervous now because I wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. If he was anything like me he was currently coming up with a ton of worst case scenarios right now. I should give him at least some information so he wouldn’t carry on freaking out. 

“It was about my family.” I said, returning to my flower crown. It was nearly finished and I only needed to add a few more flowers in. “My dad and my brother. They’re alive and there’s a very big chance we will meet them on this journey.”

Kili turned so that he faced me more “Seriously! Mahal that is amazing Leah. You get to see your family again” Then his eyebrows drew together in thought “Does that mean that you’re a woodland elf then?”

“Yes it does” I muttered “That doesn’t change the way you think of me does it?”

Kili quickly rectified his expression so that it was happy “Of course not. You’re still you, even if you did once live in a tree”

“I didn’t live in a tree, you loser” I said giving him a shove. 

I looked down at the masterpiece in my hand. The flower crown was complete. I didn’t know the names of the flowers but I thought they looked pretty. Reds and blues. Delicate white petals and sprigs of green. I turned to Kili with a smile and kneeled up. Then I placed the crown on top of his head. I heard his breath catch.

“You look gorgeous” I added, positioning it so it sat perfectly.

There was a faint blush on Kili’s cheeks when I put the crown on his head. His eyes were warm and full of love as he looked up at me. “I will treasure it always.” he said, his voice low.

Then one hand grabbed my face and the other held my hip. He brought me closer to him and kissed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only a filler chapter and it isn't the best. I know this isn't the chapter that people wanted but I've been rather ill for the past week. It's also my birthday tomorrow so I've got a few things planned out this week. That means less time writing. The reunion was supposed to be in this chapter but I really wanted to get something posted. It will definitely be in the next one. 
> 
> Sasakhabiya abnâmul, amrâlimê- You look beautiful my love  
> Ghivashel sanâzyung- Treasure of treasures, true love


	26. Leave it to the land

After a week at Beorn’s we realised that we had begun to overstay our welcome. Well the dwarves were at least. I’m pretty sure Beorn wanted to keep me here indefinitely. I was a cute little elfling that helped him out with the animals. He also liked Bilbo and tended to call him ‘bunny’. Much to Bilbo’s chagrin. Though he did not mind that Beorn was trying to fatten him up. It was the first time in around two months that Bilbo finally got to eat like a hobbit. All seven meals a day. I honestly couldn’t tell you where he stored it all. Everytime I looked over at him he had some form of food in his hand. He could have been overcompensating after so long with little food or that was just the hobbit way.

Beorn very graciously offered us some supplies to replace the ones that were ruined when we crossed the misty mountains. Bombur was very grateful when he got a new pot. His other one was dreadfully bent and battered it barely held soup properly. There was also several blankets handed out as a lot of ours were ripped or covered in whatever the goblin’s had on their hands. I didn’t ponder long on that thought. Clothes were also repaired during our stay. The cloak that Fili and Kili had gotten me for my birthday had multiple claw marks criss-crossing down it. Mum had helped me to sew it back up again.  

Mum and I managed to convince Beorn to give us more food. Mainly dried fruit and nuts. Something that would give us energy in our time of need. The journey through Mirkwood could take around two weeks and nothing in the forest was edible. The dwarves didn’t know that in the story and had nearly starved in the forest. I was vehemently against that happening. A girl needs her food. Thankfully I had my lembas bread still at the bottom of my pack. They may be crushed but I’m sure lembas crumbs would still do the same job.

Beorn lent us some ponies to take us to the borders of Mirkwood. We really didn’t want to be on foot with a roving orc pack on our tail. However, we were not allowed to take the ponies any further. Beorn would not risk his animals lives by going into that forest. He would sooner kill us all than let that happen. I’d rather not risk the wrath of an enormous bear man if I could.

I was stroking my pony on his nose and giving him an apple while everyone else was preparing to set off around me. Once more my horse was slightly larger than the dwarves. Mum and Gandalf had been given full sized horses as their legs were a lot longer than everyone else's. My horse’s name was Sigor and his coat consisted of brown and white splodges. He was decidedly more energetic than Mithiel had been. Already, he was tapping his hooves as if he was eager to get going.

I was too distracted by the sounds of everyone around me that I didn’t notice someone approach me from behind. That was until two extremely large hands wrapped themselves around my middle and hauled me upwards. I let out a surprised yelp before I realised what was happening. Beorn was lifting me up into the air and placing me onto my pony.

“I could have done that myself you know” I said trying to orient myself properly on my horse.

“You were taking too long little elfling. All of your friends were already saddled up” Beorn said with a laugh.

He was mostly correct as nearly everyone had climbed onto a pony. However there were a few people still milling around so I was nowhere near the last one. Beorn just thought it was funny to lift me up like a child. I had informed him that I was in fact an adult elf but he simply refused to believe me. Actually he full on laugh in my face when I told him. Then he patted me on the head and told me to run along. Fili had been witness to it and had refused to let me live it down. He kept trying to call me little elfling and pat me on the head. It often resulted in a swift kick to the shins on my part.

Beorn bent down to pick something up off the ground. When he stood back up there was an orange ball of floof in his arms. “Clarence would like to say goodbye before you go”

He offered me the cat and I took him into my arms. The boy would not stop meowing and rubbing his face against me. I gave the top of his head a kiss. “I’ve got to go now pudding” I said into his fur. He then meowed very loudly to show that he was very much against that idea. “I’ll come back and visit I promise”

“Clarence is not the only one who will miss your company little one. You and your mother are welcome back here anytime you wish” said Beorn, grabbing a very reluctant Clarence. His tiny claws clung onto my shirt and I had to extricate him or he’d get stuck. 

Then he turned to Bilbo who had just climbed onto his own pony, albeit begrudgingly. “You are welcome too little bunny. Perhaps I can fatten you up some more with my honey cakes”

Bilbo looked a little uncertain, not sure how to take Beorn’s comment. “Er, yes, thank you. I shall take you up on the offer after this journey is concluded”

Beorn nodded. Then he stood tall to his full height and looked everyone in the eye. “These ponies will carry you to the boundary and no further. Lest you wish a swift death” His intimidating demeanour was in no way diminished by the crying kitten in his arms.

“The ponies will be returned to you, Master Beorn” said Thorin from the front of our congregation. His expression was mostly polite but I could detect a hint of annoyance at Beorn’s threat. He didn’t take kindly to people threatening his company no matter what the circumstances.

Beorn grimaced at Thorin. I could tell that he really did not think much of Thorin’s word despite his rank. King or not, Beorn did not like dwarves.

“You have our word Beorn” said Mum, sliding her horse up alongside where Beorn was standing. On her horse she was nearly eye level with him.

Beorn turned towards her, looking into her eyes. He was infinitely less hostile towards mum than he was towards Thorin. Mum was trusted a hell of a lot more than he was. It probably helped that she had been his guest for several months. 

“Thank you, Elenneth” said Beorn, placing a hand on mum’s shoulder. He prefered to use her elven name. “I wish you luck in your travels and I hope you can find the rest of your family”

I saw Thorin gaze questioningly at my mum when the concept of our other family was brought up. Quickly, I busied myself with picking up my horse’s reins. That way I would not see if Thorin’s inquiring eyes swept over me. My poker face was terrible and he’d definitely see me acting awkward. He wasn’t stupid, at some point he would notice that I acted strangely whenever my family was brought up. So far I’d managed to avoid him a lot of the time. He often preferred solitude anyway so it wasn’t too difficult. I just did not want to know how he would react when he found out.

We set off not long after that. Gandalf led the way on his full sized horse. The idea of Gandalf having to ride a pony flitted through my head once or twice and I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. He would be all bunched up with his knees nearly by his head. A majestic steed for the dignified wizard. 

Kili caught me suppressing laugh and asked me what was so funny. I leaned over as far as I could and whispered the wondrous thought. He also found it to be quite funny and laughed out loud. It drew a couple of people’s gazes but I refused to tell them what it was that was so funny.  

Our journey was blissfully orc free. There were times when I thought I heard a fell screech on the air but it was often far away and cut off almost immediately. Only mum and I seemed to notice the sounds anyway. The others gave no indication that they had heard anything untoward. I decided not to bring it up. Beorn was patrolling around us and would dispatch any creature with ill intentions. We need not worry ourselves.

It took a couple of hours before a great treeline appeared in front of us. Stretching across the horizon with no end in sight. The closer we got the more on edge I felt. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was like an evil whisper was caressing my skin. A distinct wrongness began to permeate my body. Even under the blazing light of the sun above, dark shadows twisted beneath the boughs of the trees. It felt like a great sickness lay upon the forest, threatening to infect all those that dared enter its depths.

The sight and made me angry. A twisted feeling of nostalgia gripped me and made me feel sick to my stomach. This was once my home. I could remember it. Bright and green and healthy. More of my memories returned everyday. Legolas and I used to climb the trees in this forest. Racing to see who could reach the top first. 

When we were children, the forest was still called the Greenwood. Now it was a decimated husk of what it once was. Instead of swaths of green, everything beneath the canopy seemed to be a sickly grey. A disease clung to all life within it, choking all that once flourished there. Beorn had warned us not to eat and drink from anything in the forest. Now we were here you could easily see why.

An odd scent blew from the wood. It was cloying smell that seemed to cling to your throat as you breathed it in. Weirdly, it was sickly sweet. However there was a definite undercurrent of rot. Like someone had sprayed perfume onto a corpse to try and mask its scent. Only it wasn’t doing a very good job.

I stood in front of the trees with my hands balled into fists. So tight my nails dug painfully into my palms. My jaw was clenched tightly and a pain had started to develop at the back of my throat. The kind of pain that usually signalled that I was about to break down into angry tears. But I didn’t want to break. Not with everyone around. It took everything in me to keep my emotions in check. However, despite my best efforts, a tear still rolled down my cheek. 

I didn’t notice someone come up behind me until I felt a comforting weight on my shoulders. Looking up quickly, I found my mum peering down at me sadly. Her hands were resting on my shoulders. Hastily, I wiped the tear from my face. Not wanting her to see how badly I was affected. 

“I know how you’re feeling darling” whispered mum, so that only I could hear “We just have to get through this” 

There was an immense sadness in her eyes and for the first time I really saw her age. Her face was the same but her eyes spoke of untold years. She had seen this forest in its prime. Called it home for thousands of years. However, just like me, she hadn’t been there to watch the evil spread. It was truly an unsettling difference from the last time we were in this forest until now.

I nodded my head to mum to show that I had heard her. With how angry I was I didn’t trust my voice. It would undoubtedly crack and spur on more tears. I took several deep breaths and tried to steady myself.

Gandalf walked closer to the trees. Within the gloom lay a beaten path, snaking its way further into the wood. The elven road.

“The Elven Gate” he said, walking into an opening in the trees “Here lies our path through Mirkwood”

All the dwarves had climbed down from their ponies and had begun to unsaddle their bags. “Gandalf this forest feels sick. Are you sure there is no other way” said Bilbo, coming to stand near to Gandalf.

“Not unless we go two hundred miles north, or twice that distance south. This is the quickest way to get to our destination.” Gandalf began to walk under the ruin of an arch way.

I made to follow him, knowing what lay within the entrance of the forest. The air changed as I walked beneath the canopy. It was stale and hung heavy. Gone was the freshness of grass and in its place was the reek of decay. My nose curled at the smell.

A few paces under the trees and I saw what I was looking for. I strode faster past Gandalf until I stood directly in front of it. It was a statue. The forest had tried to reclaim it after all these years. Vines and leaves twisted around it until all the was visible was its face. The face of my mother. Or a close approximation at least. It wasn’t the most accurate. Next to it stood a much smaller statue. Only coming up to the other statues hip. It took me a moment of confusion before I realised that it was a depiction of me. I had been expecting the statue of my mum but seeing a figure of young me had thrown me off. 

These had been made after we died. Dad must have had them commissioned and placed them at the entrance to his realm. The first thing travelers would see. However, like the area around it, they had fallen to ruin. My hand reached up to trace the face of mum’s statue

Gandalf had made it over to where I was standing. He approached the statue with clear apprehension. With an unexpected care he began to remove the vines from the statue. For a second I wasn’t sure why he bothered. He must have known who the statue was of. She stood several paces behind us with a concerned expression on her face. 

I dropped my hand as Gandalf removed more vines. Once he had unveiled the whole torso I remembered why he had done so. It had been defaced with graffiti. The eye of Sauron had been painted onto the statues chest. I heard Gandalf gasp beside me. My hand reached out to touch the painted eye.

The anger I had been trying so hard to control reared its ugly head once more. My teeth clenched painfully. The unrelenting stone scraped against my fingers as I drew them into a fist. This was done by orcs, I knew it. How dare they. Killing us once was not enough, they also had to defile our memory. I wanted to scream. To take a knife and ram it through the head of any orc I could find.

My anger built up so fast that I didn’t see my hand glowing until it was too late. Light exploded outwards from where my hand was resting. It tore through the stone reducing it to rubble. Dust and rocks rained down upon us and we had to step backwards. Where once two statues stood now there was only a pile of stones.

Oops.

I looked down at the offending hand. It appeared innocent as can be, no sign of that destructive magic anywhere. 

It wasn’t the first time my magic had reacted to my emotions. However it was the first time that anger had brought it out. All the other times it had been panic and fear. I needed to learn more control or I could end up hurting someone when I got angry.

The others had come running at the sound of the explosion. They gathered around with a mixture of shock, confusion and anger across their faces. The anger was mainly coming from Thorin who did not seem impressed by my little display.

“What in Durin’s name did you do?” Said Thorin, annoyance plaguing his voice.

“I’m sorry.” I said, dumbly. “I didn’t mean to”. There was no room for me to argue really. Thorin had every right to be annoyed at me.

“That was not the wisest of actions Leah” said Gandalf, sounding quite tired “If the woodland elves were to find this, it may enrage them”

“That’s all we need” grumbled Thorin, I was definitely not in his good books right now.

Mum came up behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders once more. A show of solidarity. “Now, now I don’t think it will come to that.” said mum “Leah and I are originally from here. There will still be elves that recognise me. I could probably sway their ire enough to let you continue on your journey”

Yes I’m sure there will definitely be elves that recognise mum. You don’t really forget the face of an important political figure in your land. Even if we’ve been ‘dead’ for 1500 years, elven memory is quite impressive. Who knows what their reaction would be to seeing their late Queen. I’m imagining screaming, maybe fainting if we’re lucky.

Thorin seemed to be weighing the merit of mum’s word. Then his eyebrows drew together as if a sudden realisation had hit him. “You are woodland elves” the loathing in his voice was evident. I shied away slightly from the distaste in Thorin expressed. He was completely well founded in his hatred of the elves of Mirkwood but I didn’t like it when it was levelled at me.

“Yes we were” said mum, not backing down from Thorin’s gaze “Though over 1500 years have passed since we last stepped foot here”

I had a feeling mum mentioned the time since we were here as a way of hinting that we were not involved with anything that happened since then. Namely Erebor. Thorin seemed to see it that way too by the way his expression smoothed out into one more neutral.

“Now that we have that all sorted, I fear I must leave you” said Gandalf, who began walking back out of the trees.

There were several protests as people tried to follow him. “Gandalf you can’t really be leaving us?” said a bemused Bilbo.

Gandalf was nearly to his horse now. Thankfully, with all the commotion I made, they hadn’t unsaddled it yet. “I would not leave unless it was absolutely necessary”

Gandalf gave Bilbo an appraising look. As if he was finally seeing him properly. “You have changed Bilbo Baggins. You are not the same hobbit that left the shire”

Bilbo looked down and began to fiddle with something in his pocket. “I meant to tell you about something that I found… while in the goblin tunnels”

Bilbo was talking about the ring. After everything that happened, it had been easy to look over the fact that Bilbo had the One ring in his possession. At some point I would have to tell him what it was. Maybe if Gandalf knew about it earlier they could find a way to be rid of it quicker. 

“What did you find?” Gandalf sounded suspicious. Then again I feel that there is not a great many ‘nice’ things for one to find in a goblin tunnel.

Bilbo hesitated before shoving the ring back into his pocket “...my courage” he said after a little while.

Gandalf seemed a little relieved at Bilbo’s admission though there was still a hint of suspicion. “Good, good. You will definitely need it for what is to come”.

Then Gandalf strolled on towards his horse. He looked back once to speak to Thorin “I’ll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me.” Then he looked over the rest of the company “The air of this forest is rich with illusion it will seek to lead you astray. You must stay on the path or you will be forever lost in its depths.” Then Gandalf cast a glance to mum and I “Leah and Ellen are your safest bet to get through this wood alive. They are elves and as such cannot succumb to the effects of this forest. They will undoubtedly remain a voice of reason should your mind start to dull”

It felt like a huge weight had been dumped onto my shoulders. While it was comforting to know that my mind would not be affected, being in charge of keeping everyone on the path was not a light responsibility.

Gandalf began to turn his horse away. However, there were things that I needed to tell him before he left. I should have told him earlier but the explosion kind of distracted me.

“Wait, Gandalf” I shouted, running over to his him.

Gandalf pulled the reins of his horse to stop its momentum. “What is it my dear? I really musn’t delay”

I looked over to where everyone else was standing to see if I was out of hearing range. If I spoke quietly enough then the company wouldn’t be able to hear me. Though my mum would probably still be able to.

“Gandalf you need to be careful. Your journey will lead you to Dol Guldur” I whispered

“Dol Guldur” said Gandalf, concerned.

“Yes and it’s completely overrun with orcs, wargs … and  _ him” _

Gandalf seemed to know exactly who I was talking about and his eyes widened with fear. “So it is true. He has returned” he whispered, more to himself than anything.

“You should wait until the rest of the white council arrive before you enter or you’ll be captured”

“I see”

 I swallowed, looking towards Thorin before continuing “Also Thrain is there, in Dol Guldur. He’s alive, for now, but he won’t be if you get captured”

Gandalf sucked in a sharp breath. For a moment his eyes glistened with unshed tears. “My old friend. All this time I left him for dead” he whispered. Then he turned towards me with a newly determined expression “Thank you, Leah. I will endeavour to help Thrain to the best of my abilities but I cannot promise anything”

“That’s all I can ask really” I said, stepping back away from the horse.

Gandalf peered back at the company one last time before urging his horse on “No matter what may come, stay on the path!”

* * *

The forest was awful. Even with my supposed immunity to its effects, I still struggled under the pressing dark of the forest. The air was heavy and thick. I did not feel any relief from breathing it in. It felt like being in an enclosed space with warm recycled air. Just enough oxygen got in to keep me going.

Vines encircled every tree. Strangling, choking. They snaked across the path at odd intervals too and we had to maneuver around them. Darkness pressed in on us from all sides. Sunlight could have been glaring above and we would be none the wiser. Shadows stretched and writhed out of the corners of my eyes. Whenever I would turn to look at it straight on they would disappear.

All in all it was miserable. 

The rest of the company was having an even worse time I was. More than half of them had already complained of a headache. They often spoke of eyes following them through the trees but when I looked over I saw nothing. Nausea was another big thing. The very air itself was making a lot of them feel sick. Which is rather a big deal with dwarves as they almost never get ill. 

I knew that the sun was setting only because what little light we did have quickly began to fade away. Bleeding into the darkness around us, like ink in water. We weren’t anywhere that we could consider sleeping yet. Too many hazards lay on the path; sharp rocks and choking tree roots. That meant that we couldn’t stop yet.

I realised then that in order to keep going we needed a light. The dwarves tried to light a torch but as soon as it was lit they were swarmed by strange winged creatures. Either bats or extremely large moths. They had to put it out straight away lest we be overcome. 

I looked down at my hands. We could use the light they could produce but I also didn’t want to be attacked by bats. On the other hand though, my magic had a tendency to deter foes rather than attract them. It had thrown goblins away from me after all. There was no harm in trying. Well technically there was, being maimed by bats didn’t seem like a fun way to go.

Taking a deep, unsatisfying breath, I pooled my magic into my hands. I scrunched my eyes up and held my hands above my head. If anything was to attack then I’d prefer it away from my face. After a few seconds of this I found that nothing nefarious had flown at me from out of the depths. I quickly opened my eyes and gazed up at my hands. They glowed with a brilliant white light and illuminated the path in front of us. The dwarves exclaimed happily.

“Thank Mahal, a can finally see” said Dwalin from behind me. Other dwarves echoed his sentiment.

With a start I noticed that the air around my hands suddenly smelled fresher. Breathing it in was like surfacing from underwater. This revelation felt like a godsend. If my magic could push away the sickness then maybe we would get out of this unscathed. Kili, Bilbo and Bofur were in my immediate vicinity and I heard them suck in air greedily. People further away hadn’t reacted though. Which probably meant that if I needed more power if I wanted to help the whole company.

With a little effort, I widened my circle of power. It was difficult to maintain a set distance though. My magic kept stretching back and forth like an elastic band. It either wanted to explode out or rush back in. Concentration was required to keep it in around everyone. If the company stuck close together though, I could provide a bubble of air.

“I can breath. Oh thank Yavanna I can breath” said Bilbo.

“Leah are you doing that?” said Fili, amazement in his voice

“I think so” I said, voice a little wobbly. I wouldn’t be able to keep it up indefinitely but I should be able to keep it up for a while if my concentration remained sharp.  

I would have to take breaks to conserve my strength.Kili sidled up close to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. His closeness was a comfort. If I were to fall he would be able to catch me. I smiled at him before I began to lead the way down the path.

After around an hour of walking we came across a vaguely flat stretch of road. It would have to do as we were all tired. This forest had a way of sucking all your energy. Everyone collapsed to the ground heavily. Bombur actually toppled over with the force in which he sat down. It took help from Bifur and Bofur to right him again.

Everyone made sure to remain on the path. There would be no venturing off to find a more comfortable spot to sleep. That meant that we had to make do with the unyielding stone beneath them as a bed. Even our bedrolls weren’t much good.

My body sunk to the ground towards the middle of the group. Hands still glowing steadily. I didn’t want to let up on my magic just yet. It was the only comfort in a forest full of bad. The ring of light managed to encompass the whole company at least. Kili came and sat down beside me, rubbing a hand across my back.

“Please don’t overexert yourself Leah. I don’t want you to drain all your energy for us” said Kili

I was sat cross-legged with my hands faced palm sized up on my knees. My head drifted to Kili’s shoulder as he spoke. “I’m okay for now” I urged “Anyway, it’s easier to keep up when I’m not moving” Which was true. Being stationary meant that I didn’t need to concentrate as hard on the magic. Though there was a slight tremble seeping into my arms. It wasn’t too bad for now but I knew that the longer I kept up the magic the more noticeable it would become. 

The company began to talk amicably amongst themselves. After some time breathing in fresh air, they were more or less their usual selves. They told each other stories or sung songs. At one point, though, they had descended into speaking in khuzdul with one another. One person would say something and the rest would laugh uproariously. If I had to guess I’d say that they were telling each other dirty jokes. 

Mum raised an amused eyebrow at everyone while Bilbo gazed back and forth confused. Occasionally he would laugh uncertainly, trying to join in on the fun. I was beginning to feel left out. 

“I provide you the light from my hands and you repay me by leaving me out of jokes.” I said in mock annoyance.

“Well some jokes should nae be heard by such delicate ears lass” laughed Bifur from where he was leaning against a tree. He had been the one who was most involved with the joke telling. Who knows what could have been spilling out of his mouth?

“I don’t have delicate ears” 

“Of course ye do. All soft and pointy” said Bofur from next to Bifur he had pipe firmly between is teeth. “and anyway I don’t think some of the jokes would have worked in Westron. It wouldn’t have been as funny”

“Yeah some things sound better in Khuzdul anyway” piped Fili who sat across the other side of the path, nearer to Kili and I “Insults especially sound better”

“That’s true” I said without really thinking “I know one Khuzdul insult and it does sound a lot cooler than english ones”

The sudden silence made me realise what I’d just revealed. I looked up and saw the dwarves shocked expressions. With a mixture of anger thrown in.

“How do ye know any of our language, lass” grumbled Gloin, not seeming very pleased at all.

My face heated up under the dwarves scrutiny and I looked down at my hands. Which was a mistake as the light was rather blinding and hurt my eyes. “Well in the story from my world there were a couple of Khuzdul phrases that were translated”

I heard dwalin scoff from somewhere behind me “I’ll believe it when I hear it”

“Yeah I’m curious as to what insults ye know” said Bifur who seemed a lot more excited than anyone else about my knowing Khuzdul.

Kili was looking at me expectantly too. He had no idea what I was going to say either. Though, he wasn’t surprised by my revelation as I had spoken to him in khuzdul before. Well tried to at least. As he once said, my accent and pronunciation were terrible. However I knew how one particular insult was spoken because it had been in the film.

A few more of the dwarves tried to egg me on. 

“Go on”

“You might as well say it now”

“Okay, okay.” I said “Well the only insult I know if one against elves” There were a few laughs at that. “And you should blame Thorin for me knowing it as he was the one who said it in the story” Thorin sat up at that, eyebrows raised.

Well here goes nothing “îsh kakhfê ai’d dur-rugnul” I said, very carefully, making sure to sound it out properly. I didn’t need to insult the dwarves further by butchering their language.

For a second there was no reaction from the dwarves. It was one of the most agonising seconds of my life. Then the forest exploded with howls of laughter.

“By Mahal, that is not what I expected to come out of your mouth, leah” said Fili breathlessly.

“Uncle truly does have a way with words” said Kili with a huge grin.

Thorin lifted his chin up “I have said no such thing...yet” a smiled pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“Wh,what did she say?” asked Bilbo.

“Oh Bilbo it involves a certain bodily expulsion and the face of an elf” said Bofur

* * *

The days tended to blend together. I couldn’t keep my magic up while I slept so I had to relinquish my hold on the air. Fortunately, we found that the purified air didn’t disappear as soon as my magic did. It lingered around for a good while before the tainted air would seep in. That meant that if we were stationary I could pull back on my magic and we’d have good air for at least an hour. It allowed me to rest more often. However it wasn’t much good when we were moving because we would walk away from the good air straight into the bad stuff.

There was another fascinating thing I found too. I had been leaning against a tree keeping my magic up when I first noticed it. Before I hadn’t really been paying too close attention to our surroundings. Simply scanning them for anything bad. It was only because I was leaning against a tree that I saw it. The roots directly beneath me had changed colour. As did the ground around it. Instead of a mottled, sickly grey, a healthy brown colour began poking through. Followed by strips of green grass pushing through the rotten undergrowth.

As an experiment I placed my hands against the tree. The magic seeped beneath it. Creaks and crack emanated through the air as several choking vines relinquished their hold on the tree. They moved like snakes and retreated from my magic. In their place the dark grey bark lightened until it was a rich brown. 

My throat tightened at seeing life in the midst of all the decay. Knowing that I was the cause nearly brought a tear to my eye. If I could help reclaim even a small part of my old home I would.

Even with my healing magic though, morale was low. Dwarves weren’t very good at functioning with only dried fruit and berries. My lembas bread went almost straight away. A bite may have been enough to fill a man’s stomach but it wasn’t enough for a dwarf’s. I barely got to taste it as I shared it with everyone else. It was rather a strange flavour. Almost like shortbread but it wasn’t sweet.

My energy had definitely started to wane as the days dragged on. There was a near permanent shake in my arms as I held up my magic. I had to grit my teeth and urge myself to go on. Kili and Mum tried to get me to stop at every opportunity. They didn’t like to see me struggling. Each time they tried though I would shake him off and continue. It’s not like they could physically stop me from manifesting the light if I really wanted to. However, it reached a point where the decision was out of my hands.

I was walking near the front. Though walking may have been an overstatement. My feet had been dragging more and more as time went on. Each breath was coming out harder than the last and the ache in my limbs was becoming unbearable. But I needed to do this. Everyone was depending on me.

My foot caught against something and I nearly went sprawling across the ground. Thankfully Kili was there to catch me. “Right, that’s it, Leah! you can’t do this anymore” urged Kili holding me close to him.

“B.but I need to. I need to help” my voice sounded a lot weaker than I thought it would.

“No Leah, you need to stop now” said Mum from behind me “I’m putting my foot down. I’d be a terrible mother if I let you continue on like this”

“But..”

“Leah, please” his face awash with concern, fear and sadness. It hurt to see him this way.

Thorin came around and stood in front of us “Leah we can survive a few days without your intervention. I will not have one member of my company suffer more than necessary”

I nodded slightly, my body sagging as I relented. Letting the magic in my hands dim. A heavy tiredness clung to my bones. So far I've been good at suppressing it and forcing myself to carry on. But once I gave in, the fight left me. Kili was the only thing keeping me up. I felt his lips brush my temple. “Thank you, Leah,” he whispered.

* * *

So for the next couple of days we suffered through the wrath of the woods. The air was rank and the shadows began to flit back around us. My body was thankful for the respite though. I had definitely overexerted myself, now that I allowed my body to rest I began to feel better again. No permanent tremors or aching muscles at least.

On the other hand, whereas I was feeling better, the dwarves had begun to feel infinitely worse. The headaches had returned in full force and many of them were complaining about hallucinations again.

Mum and I stayed close together so that we could monitor the dwarves. So far we had to steer many of the dwarves back onto the path. Their eyes had been vacant as they stumbled towards the trees. It made me wonder how they had managed to get through these woods in the story. With my powers I feel like we must have covered more ground in less time. Perhaps we had slipped past the giant spiders all together.

That was wishful thinking. In fact I had already spotted multiple webs hung between trees. Too large to have been made by any normal spider. The sight of it sent shivers down my spine. I hate spiders with a passion.

Luck never really seemed to be on our side. You would think that staying on the elven road would have kept us safe. At least that’s what I had thought. However, it seems that fate was so hell bent on throwing us off, it sent its forces onto our path. 

We were trudging along in almost single file due to how narrow the path had become. Everything seemed okay. Or as okay as you could be in this forest. I kept hearing sounds amongst the trees but I stupidly ignored them. They were similar to the sounds we’d been hearing the entire time we had been here, so I paid it no mind. That was until a strand of web zipped through the air and wrapped around Oin’s leg. We had hardly any time to react before he was dragged bodily into the gloom beyond the path.

The dwarves wasted no time and armed themselves before charging in after him. I fumbled with my own sword. Yanking it out of the scabbard clumsily. Mum was next to me drawing one of her borrowed knives, courtesy of Fili. We ran after the dwarves, leaving the path behind. 

A scream rose unbidden by the sight I saw. A myriad of webs were shooting around us. At the end of them stood the most monstrous thing I’d ever laid my eyes on. I could hardly handle a house spider and these things were about 100000x bigger. Cloudy strands of venom dripped from their mandible. Fangs snapped menacingly. They weren’t silent either. High pitched squeals rang all around me. A fear, so deeply ingrained, grabbed me in a chokehold. For a second I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. 

They were everywhere, descending upon us from above. The dwarves and Bilbo were fighting them off. Dodging the webs and slicing the air with their weapons. Ori and Gloin had managed to get to Oin before he could be dragged any further. They hauled him up by his arms and pulled. The webbing strained under the tension but didn’t relent. Oin was horizontal in the air as the dwarves tried to pull him free. A slice from Dwalin’s axe suddenly freed Oin’s leg. Ori and Gloin were still pulling. The quick change in momentum sent them careening backwards. They all landed in a pile.

A spider lashed out at me with one of its legs. It nearly toppled me but I kept my balance. I arched my sword through the air. The blade nicked one of the spines on its legs but not much else. It continued its assault. Deafening me with its screeches. 

An arrow whisked past me and landed in one of its eyes. I didn’t have to look to know that Kili had shot it. The fletching on the arrow was definitely his. He was somewhere behind me defending against his own share of spiders. Black ooze spat out of the wound. It only seemed to make it angrier.  

Out of nowhere, a blur of brown and green crash landed on top of the spider. A dagger was twisted deep into the spiders head. The enraged face of my mother kneeled on the spider’s back and stabbed once more. It’s scream was something straight from hell as it succumbed to my mums attack. The legs curled up as the thing finally died.

Several things happened simultaneously.

Mum climbed off the spider.

My ears picked up the sounds of distant running. Shouts, in Sindarin, on the air.

A spider launched itself at Kili pinning him underneath it. It’s mandible snapping dangerously close to his face.

And a thick, string of webbing wrapped itself around both of my ankles.

Before I could even take all of this in I was wrenched backwards into the unforgiving forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to chop this chapter in half because it was getting close to 12000 words and that just felt like way to long. The reunion will definitely be in the next one I promise. Pinky swear.  
> The next chapter is nearly finished and it should hopefully be done by tomorrow x


	27. I need a miracle

My breath was knocked out of me as I fell backwards. There was no time to acknowledge the pain as my body sped across the forest floor. Being dragged towards some horror I could not yet see. I screamed and twisted as I was dragged backwards. My sword had dropped out of my hands when I fell. The shock of it had loosened my grasp on the weapon. I tried to catch at the ground but could not find purchase.

When I finally saw the monster, my scream froze in my throat. It was using two legs to haul me closer. Until it loomed above. Uncontrollable tears were spilling down my face. I had never felt so helpless lying beneath that monster. Completely at its mercy. 

It almost sounded like it was snickering at me. Laughing at my panic.

I would not go without a fight though. My hands reached for whatever they could. They landed on a rock to the right of me. Without hesitating I brought the rock up, aiming for its eyes. The swing was hindered by the spiders mandible and didn’t fully hit the face. However the light that exploded from my hands did.

It burned across the spiders face and the blast knocked it the left. Legs flying out behind it. I fell back, my head striking the ground hard. My vision was swimming and nausea was rising up. I lay there for a few seconds just concentrating on my breathing. 

That was a nice surprise.

I hadn’t expected to be able to do anything close to that after how much I’d drained myself over the last week. It was definitely a good thing that they had managed to get me to rest for a few days. Or I would most certainly be dead right now.

The spider landed on its back but it wasn’t quite dead. The legs and body twitched rapidly as it tried to right itself. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to conjure anything close to helpful in my current condition. With a cry in my throat, I tried to wriggle away. My body was only just about cooperating; I wouldn’t make it far.

Before it could get fully upright, a dagger wedged itself firmly in its head. Followed by an angry elven mother thrusting my sword into its underbelly. The spider curled up around the sword, its screeches fading to nothing. In the distance the sound of fighting continued on.

I managed to get my body into a seated position. The lightheadedness from using my magic was slowly leaving. Albeit slower than it usually did. “Mum” I cried.

Mum forcefully removed the sword from the spider. A sneer clear on her face. Then she turned towards me and her face softened. “Oh Leah” she whispered, a tear in her eye. She quickly knelt down beside me and brought me into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay”

Mum then leaned back so that she could look me over. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

I rolled my shoulders and mentally checked for any injuries. After finding only a few sore muscles I realised that I was mostly okay. “I think I mainly just feel woozy from using too much magic”

Mum nodded “I think I can help you out with that” then she grabbed either side of my head “Now, I haven’t done this in many years but it’s like riding a bike”

Before I could ask what she meant, mum closed her eyes and began muttering under her breath. A string of Sindarin so fast I could barely catch it. Then I began to see a faint glow in my peripheral vision. With a start I realised that Mum was healing me. After a few seconds the nausea lifted and my head began to clear. I felt better than I had done in days.

Mum’s hands fell away from my face and she her breath came out in rasps. “That took a lot more effort than I remember. I think I may be a bit rusty”

Despite the situation, I found myself laughing. “What happened to ‘oh it’s just like riding a bike’?”

“I help you and this is the thanks I get” she said, though there was a smile on her face.

“Thank you, mum” I said, letting out a large breath. Then I leaned forward once more and hugged her tightly.

* * *

The absence of fighting suddenly became apparent to us. No more shouts or swords wrung through the air. Then I realised that the last thing I saw before being carted away by Aragog was Kili being attacked. A shot of fear rushed through me for his well being. Obviously he wasn’t dead, or I wouldn’t be standing, but something else could have happened to him. 

I quickly glanced down to the bond between us. It still remained strong, a vibrant cord that linked our lives together. Surely it would look different if something were seriously wrong right? Well that’s what I’m going with anyway. I gave the bond an insistent tug. Both to symbolise me being okay and to ask if he was. It wasn’t long before I received the same gesture back and I let out a sigh of relief

Mum and I clambered to our feet, intent on inspecting the new development. One look from mum and I knew we both had the same idea for why there was no more fighting. I had heard shouting in Sindarin after all. As we glided closer, we were careful to stick behind trees and hide our footsteps. Our suspicions were confirmed as we peered from behind the base of a tree.

New figures had entered the forest. Towering above the dwarves. The elves must have arrived when I was dragged away. I could just make out the backs of their heads because they were already leading the dwarves away.

“Should we interfere?” I asked, barely above a whisper.

Mum shook her head, “That may do more harm than good. We may startle them and end up impaled with arrows.” she whispered “It’s not everyday that your late queen rises from the dead. They may think me some malevolent wraith”

That was true. We weren’t exactly the most put together right now. Filthy and covered in spider goo. “Well we need to follow them at least”

None of the elves indicated that they had heard our conversation. Too focused on the angry dwarves they had captured. I hoped mum was going to give them a piece of her mind about how to handle visitors to your kingdom. 

They were quite far ahead of us now. We would have to slip out from behind the tree if we were to follow them. Just as we were about to leave our hiding place, another elf stepped from beyond the trees. He was tall and held himself strongly. Platinum blonde hair fell down his back and vivid blue eyes scanned the trees around him. Once he seemed satisfied with what he saw he turned and glided back towards the others. “Lain od thlingril” he said.

As soon as I saw him I froze. My breath fell out of me in a gasp that I barely concealed. I knew this elf. In my heart I knew him. It was him. My brother. It’s like my soul cried out the second he came into view. For as long as I could remember I felt like there was a part of me that was missing. Twins aren’t supposed to be apart. Our souls came into this world together, we were supposed to be by each other’s side forever. He was my brother. My twin. My other half. We were inseparable before we were cruelly torn apart. The brother who had only been 15 minutes older than me had now grown up without me. 

I felt my throat tighten and I just about stopped myself from crying out. 

Legolas. 

I turned to look at mum. She had put her arm against the tree to steady herself. Only it hadn’t worked and she had sunk to her knees. Her storm, grey eyes shone more intensely as tears gathered in them. They quickly overflowed and began falling down her cheeks. She covered her mouth with her hand and bit back a cry.

“My boy” she sobbed, voice still in a whisper, “It’s him. My little boy.”

My own tears began to fall. Seeing mum’s outcry of emotion opened up the floodgates of my own. I kneeled down next to her, a watery smile spread across my face. “It’s him” I said.

Mum smiled back too, the tears still falling down her face. She took several deep breaths before wiping her face. Wicking the moisture away with her hands. “We need to follow them” she said once she was more composed.

All I could do was nod. We both scrambled to our feet and been to pursue the convoy of elves. It wasn’t too hard to follow as the dwarves were making one hell of a racket. Making sure their captures knew just how angry they were. We caught up with them quite quickly. I tried not to look at Legolas too closely because it made my emotions run too high. I would definitely do something stupid. Like run out and try to hug him.

The hard part was trying to remain unseen. All of the elves present had probably had 100’s of years of training and knew how to be vigilant. My elven grace could only go so far, I still had to consciously try to make no sound. Every now and then one of the elves would whip their heads round. Scanning the trees for signs of a threat. Mum and I just about managed to dart behind a tree in time. None of the elves ever said anything about being followed so it seemed like we were in the clear.

The forest around us began coming back to life. Dappled sunlight shone down through green canopies. Sounds of real woodland creatures echoed through the air. Not questionable sounds of lurking evil. The further we walked the more I seemed to recognise. I knew this path. I knew those trees. Legolas had gotten his foot caught in that branch and had ended up hanging upside down. I nearly laughed aloud at the memory.

The gateway to the elven kingdom slowly came into view. It was ornate and carved out of the mountain itself. The pillars were made to look like the interweaving branches of a tree. Their shape was so natural it almost seemed as if they had always been there. 

It was my home. The first home I had ever known. How had I ever forgotten about this? This place seemed as much a part of me as my body did. My heart leaped and sang at the sight of it. Eyes roamed around trying to drink it all in. Savour it. The fact that I had spent so long not being able to recall it felt ridiculous.

 Guards were stationed along the edge of it. They remained vigilant and armed. Bows at the ready.

The influx of memories I was having made me clumsy and I felt a twig snap below my foot. Legolas, who had remained towards the back, quickly spun around. Eyes taking in everything in front of him. I was just able to rush behind a trunk. Though my cloak swished out and took longer to hide with me. My hand reached out and grabbed the edge of the cloak. Bringing it close to my body. 

Shit.

There is a very big chance that he saw something. It felt weird to be hiding from my brother. When everything in me told me to run towards him. Rugby tackle him to the ground. Though I knew that mum was probably right. If I ran straight in there I would 100% get shot. We needed to find a chance to talk to Legolas alone.

Mum waved at me from behind her own tree. “I know a way in” she mouthed at me.

I looked back to the gate. The dwarves had been pushed through and the gate was being closed behind them. Legolas was nowhere to be seen either, he must have followed on. I turned back towards mum with a raised eyebrow. If she says she knows a way in I assume that it wasn’t through the front gate.

“Follow me” her hands moved in a come here gesture.

With one last look towards the gate, I stepped towards her.

* * *

It turns out that when you’re the Queen of a realm you know quite a few hidden entryways. Was it included in like a royal tour or something? ‘Oh yes, your majesty see over there what appears to be a tree at first is actually a hidden door with which you can swiftly exit the kingdom’

It was a rather cool secret entrance if you ask me. The edges of the kingdom were protected with high walls. Trees seemed to grow within them at regular intervals. Like towers built into the wall. It seemed impenetrable until you found a certain tree. The tree seemed completely normal until you got very close to it. Then you could see that there was an outline of a door carved into it. Though if you pushed it, it was solid wood. 

Mum then placed her full hand on the trunk. A blue glow began to seep from the seams of the ‘doorway’. It began at the top and dripped down, like melted wax. Whorls of patterns emerged that weren’t visible without the light. An elven door. How cool. Thankfully mum knew the password and didn’t have to wait ages to riddle it out. It was less ‘speak friend and enter’ and more ‘speak tree and enter’. As the password was Galadh: the Sindarin word for tree. Elves really need stronger passwords. Throw some numbers in there. Spice it up a bit. 

Mum slipped through first. Followed closely by me. My cloak snagged slightly on the bark but I managed to get through. On the other side stood rows upon rows of vegetables and herbs. No one was there thankfully and we quickly made our way forwards. I wasn’t entirely sure what mum’s plan was. Were we going to try and sneak through the halls unseen? Wait in dad’s room until he goes to bed and scare the shit out of him? I didn’t really think that either of us were thinking completely rationally at the moment. We were just going wherever came to mind.

A large set of ornate doors lay open at the bottom of the garden. It led into the great halls. The sounds of a whole kingdom were drifting out of it. Singing and talking and walking.

To the left of me stood a wrought iron gate. Completely coated in vines to the point that you could not see beyond it. A part of me knew that it led onto a different garden. My legs stopped moving as soon as I saw it. That was.. _ my _ garden. A sensation, not quite tangible, crept across my skin. My magic responded and swirled around my core. As if it had been awoken. My eyes drifted down to my chest. The bond with Kili was there bright and shining. It led to somewhere deep in the halls. But it was no longer the only strand I could see. Tiny strands were now there, that glowed faintly. They stretched towards my old garden.

Then a memory resurfaced. One that I saw in the water basin in rivendell. 

_ “You’re magic flows through it now. So that means that it will bloom for as long as you live” _

The basin had shown me that my garden had died along with me. It was tied to my life force after all. But now that I had been brought back the garden must have been too. I could feel it. The plants and the life that lay beyond that gate. My feet were moving before I even acknowledged it. The closer I got to it the stronger the sensation was.

Mum had continued on, not realising that I had stopped following. My hand reached up to touch the gate. A strange feeling sat on my chest. A mixture of happiness, sadness and anticipation. 

The sound of a leaf crunching sounded behind me. I turned, expecting to see the face of mum. Only to come face to face with the end of an arrow.

My eyes widened and I stumbled backwards. A squeak slipped past my lips in surprise. For a second I was too focused on the business end of the arrow. Pointing menacingly between my eyes. Then my gaze drifted up to see the person who held the bow. I gasped as I looked into the eyes of my brother. The same shade as mine.

Legolas must have followed us without me realising. When I thought he had gone through the gate he must have slipped from sight and tailed us. Espionage wasn’t our strong suit it seemed. Best stick to the day job.

The hands holding the bow wavered as Legolas looked me in the eyes. His angry, accusatory gaze guttering out.

“Wh.who are you?” he asked, uncertainty and a hint of fear plaguing his voice.

I felt my bottom lip wobbling slightly and a single tear roll down my face. He was so close. My twin was here but he didn’t recognise me. There was a sharp pain in my chest. Part of me wanted to scream ‘It’s me you idiot’. But the other part was frozen, merely staring into his eyes. This didn’t feel real. It felt more like a dream.

When I was younger and more naive I had refused to believe that my twin had died. He couldn’t be dead. That just wasn’t a concept that a six year old could comprehend Instead I believed that he was just lost. I would scream at mum and tell her that he just needed to find us. He would find us and we would be happy again. Years past and I grew out of such childlike fantasies.

And yet here he was, having found us after all this time.

“Darling” came a soft voice from behind Legolas.

Mum came into view, placing a hand on the bow and lowering it. Legolas grip on the bow failed as he laid eyes on mum. The bow clattered to the floor completely forgotten about. A half strangled noise fell from his throat and he stumbled backwards. His face crumpled as he finally took in all of her.

“Nana” his voice broke on the word and he crumpled to the ground. He reached out to her but there was still a lingering fear in his eyes. As if he was scared she would melt into the mist at any second.

Mum fell to the ground with him. Her own tears back. “Oh Legolas” she said reaching a hand towards his face. He gasped when her hand made contact. A tangible hand not a ghost. He quickly grasped onto the hand as if it were a lifeline. “My little boy. You’re not so little anymore”

Legolas lunged forward and captured mum in a hug. He clung to her so tightly, breathing in the scent of her. Mum’s hand stroked through Legolas’ hair

“How?...How?” he just kept repeating it over and over again. “How are you here?”

“It’s a long story.” Mum held Legolas’s face in both of her hands. Wiping away the tears with her thumbs. Her eyes roved all over his face, desperate to take him all in. She had spent so long without him she must have been savouring everything that she could. A wobbly smile stretched across her face “All that matters right now is that we’re here and we’re not going anywhere” said mum.

“We?” then Legolas seemed to remember that I was also here. His gaze flicked towards me and his eyes widened once more. He shot to his feet and stood before me. “Liriel?” he breathed.

I nodded, “Legolassie” I said, a weak laugh falling from my mouth. 

My response surprised him and he let out a startled laugh. Without hesitation I dove at him. Encircling him with an ironclad embrace. His own arms wrapped around me with equal eagerness. The height difference between us now was truly ridiculous. Last time we had seen each other I had been taller than him. Now my head just about lay on his chest. I could no longer hold in the torrent of tears as I finally hugged my brother.

* * *

**Thranduil (Throne Room)**

Dwarves.

It had to be dwarves didn’t it.

Thranduil’s guards had brought the prisoners in earlier. They had been caught trespassing on his lands, while the soldiers were hunting spiders. The hunts had been increasing exponentially as of late. Spiders infested his lands and choked out life with their webs. It was getting worse by the day. Becoming harder and harder to keep them at bay. Just when you thought you had cleared an area, you would return only to find more than before. They were slowly encroaching on his kingdom. The Elvenking’s halls would never be overrun but they were losing external land every week.

Thranduil had to protect his people from the evils of this world. He’d lost too many to it already. That’s why he had closed off his land from all travellers. Anyone who trespassed in his lands were considered a threat. Someone who could potentially harm his people. That is why anyone who attempted to pass through them were treated without impunity.  

It was Gwaenir that came to inform him of the dwarves. Which Thranduil found strange. Usually his son, Legolas, would be the one to inform him of events from his watch. When Thranduil asked Gwaenir where his son was the guard said that he saw him circling the outer walls. He would have to ask his son about his strange behaviour next time he saw him. Now, unfortunately, he had another task at hand.

Thorin Oakenshield was stood before his throne. Red, hot anger was barely contained beneath the surface of the would-be dwarven king. His visage was travel worn. Though it was nowhere near as bad as was to be expected. He had journeyed through the realms of Mirkwood and managed to come out of it practically unscathed. That was almost unheard of unless you were of elven blood. It made Thranduil very suspicious.

Thranduil descended from his throne so that he was now on the same level as the dwarf. Well one can never be truly level with a dwarf, their height difference didn’t account for such. It allowed Thranduil to use his dominating presence around Thorin. As he lorded above him.

“Let us go, Thranduil. You have no right to keep us here” Thorin seethed, teeth clenched.

“No right?” Thranduil scoffed “You trespass onto my lands, nearly cause harm to my people in your recklessness and you  _ destroyed  _ the statues of the late queen and princess”

When one of his scouts informed him of the destruction of the statues, Thranduil felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like someone had shot him in the chest. Impaling his frozen heart with a morgul arrow. A vicious, pervasive rage had encompassed him. It’s true that they had not been maintained for over 100 hundred years. With the threat of the spiders increasing he could not spare the elves to tend to them. Nevertheless, the fact that these  _ trespassers  _ had demolished them, made Thranduil’s blood boil. How dare they deface his family like that.

Thorin had the gall to look embarrassed. Eyes flicking away from Thranduil’s in a show of guilt. He wasn’t even going to deny it. “That was an accident” Thorin’s voice was heavy with irritation “It was not our intention”

“An accident!?” The statues were nought but rubble and dust. No distinguishing features left at all. One cannot simply pulverize a statue like that by ‘accident’. It would take repeated hits with a large weapon. Requiring malice and a determination to destroy the figure. 

No this could not be an accident.

This must have been some sort of revenge on Thorin’s part. For Thranduil’s role in the destruction of Erebor. He had refused to endanger his armies against the might of the dragon. A threat that Thror’s own greed had brought upon his people. His desire for gold had lured the demon from some fiery hellhole to descend on the mountain. Thranduil knew the ruin that dragon fire could cause and would not risk the deaths of his people. He had to protect them at all costs. For his refusal to charge a dragon, a deep-seated hatred had formed in Thorin’s heart. 

Thranduil walked around Thorin, facing away from him and into the halls. He needed to collect himself. There was something he desperately needed from the dwarven King. He knew exactly where Thorin and his company were heading. Why else would they risk their lives traipsing through this forest, unless they were headed to Erebor? A noble quest, it seemed, was underway. To reclaim their once prosperous kingdom from the clutches of a dragon.

Thranduil could use this opportunity to recover what was rightfully his. The gems of lasgalen. He had commissioned the dwarves to craft him a necklace out of those magnificent jewels. A necklace fit for his queen to wear. Though it would have never graced her neck. His wife had been long dead when he had asked for it to be made. Thranduil could not say what drove him to desire such an item. All he knew was that when he laid his eyes upon the gems they reminded him of her. Of his Elinneth. They were pure starlight just like she had been.

His broken Fëa was a never ending reminder of her absence. The pain would often try to consume him. It was like trying to walk with broken limbs. A part of him was forever severed but he still had to continue on. His kingdom. His people. His son. They needed him and were the only things that kept him going. To keep them safe had almost become an obsession.

When he saw the gems, a dark, vulnerable part of him had yearned to possess them. It told him that if he held them then he would be able to feel her again. The gems were of pure magic and would fill the hole she had left when she was wrenched apart from him. Blunt the edges of his shattered Fëa. Dull the pain he felt everyday. 

He knew this. It would work. It had to. Otherwise nothing would. He needed them desperately. Now that they were finally within his grasp, he could not wait any longer. 

With the dwarves in his captivity he had the upper hand. He could offer help in exchange for the gems. However, If he sneered and shouted then Thorin would be less likely to cooperate. So even though he wanted to curse the dwarf in front of him, he schooled his expression into something more neutral.

He turned back around to face the dwarf and his throne. “Let us get back to the matter at hand, shall we?” Thranduil drawled, his cool façade back in place. “There is only one reason Thorin Oakenshield would travel through these lands and it lies north west of here. You mean to take back that which was stolen from you. A Noble quest some might say”

Thorin remained in seething silence as Thranduil glided past. Arms held behind him. Thranduil’s back was to Thorin when he caught a sound on the air. Approaching footsteps climbing up the winding paths behind them. They also appeared to be in a hurry. Thranduil gritted his teeth. He told his guards that he was not to be disturbed while he conversed with the dwarven king. Why had they let someone slip through? 

Thranduil was ready to turn and berate whoever had disrupted his meeting. However he froze momentarily when he heard Thorin begin to speak. 

“Ellen what are you doing here?” the dwarf asked in an angry whisper.

Had one of the dwarf’s companions slipped free?

Thranduil finally spun around eyes livid. Ready to clash with whichever dwarf had managed to break free and come to their King’s aid. 

“What is th..” His voice broke off in a strangled gasp as he laid eyes on the intruder.

It was not a dwarf.

She stood before him. Tall and dressed in a large green tunic and brown leggings. A cloak with a hood pulled back just enough so that you could see her face. Her silver eyes seemed to glow as they filled with unshed tears. Looking just as beautiful as the last time he saw her.

Elinneth. It was Elinneth. His wife, his queen, his love. The other half of his soul.

Only it couldn’t be.

Thranduil stumbled back from her. Not even acknowledging the others present. His vision tunneled until it was only her he saw. She reached out a hand towards him as he backed away. “Melamin” she gasped.

The sound of her voice sent a shock through him. It was a melody that he only ever heard in his dreams. Always fading in the light of day. His feet hit the stone steps of his throne and he collapsed backwards onto them. Hands barely catching his fall. Grazing against the solid stone beneath. Thranduil did not care about the jolt that flew up his arms. Hardly felt it at all.

It could not be her. If she was here he would not still feel the crushing emptiness inside. He would be whole. Yet the pain was still there. Growing more and more as he looked upon the visage of his wife. She must be a hallucination. Some ghost or apparition. Another cruel punishment, just like Liriel’s garden. To dangle his loved ones before him with no hope of ever actually having them back. Were the Valar really so cruel to punish him this way? To chip away at his heart and mind until he was left as naught but a shell of an elf.

“Elinneth” he whimpered, speaking her name like a prayer.

Elinneth walked towards him as if she was scared that he would run. The closer she got the more he flinched. Struggling against the pain. Tears fell from his eyes unbidden

“I’m really here Thranduil” she cried “I’m alive”

“You can’t be”

She kneeled down so that she was level with him. Eye to eye. He could not look away if he tried. So entranced by her. 

A hand reached up towards him. His first instinct was to shy away. This moment would make or break him. If she were truly an apparition then her hand would have no solid form. It would feel like nothing was there at all. If that were to happen, Thranduil would fracture completely. It would be the final blow to his damaged heart and mind.

A glow began to emanate from her hand as she brought it closer. Though it wasn’t the white glow of a healer’s touch. It was something wholly new. A deep golden glow, unlike any he’d seen before. Unbeknownst to him, his own skin began to glow with that same ethereal quality. Stemming from his face, where her hand was closest. Then her fingers caressed his cheek. 

The light from Elinneth’s hands rushed into Thranduil’s body. His own doing the same for her. It spread throughout their bodies until they were bathed in light. Thranduil took in a deep shuddering breath as the magic flooded through him. Wherever it touched it breathed new life. Healing. Mending. Reforming. 

The light wasn’t merely magic. It was their Fëar. Their souls made visible. Finally recombining after being wrenched apart. The light coalesced around their hearts. Glowing and golden. Until a clear outline formed and you could see every beat. Like someone had opened a window in their chests to see their hearts below. Their heartbeats were synchronised with one another.

With one final swell of magic, the light dissolved back into their skin   

He was whole.

The piercing emptiness that had made its home within him had been driven away. In its place sat his wife’s Fëa. The other half of his soul. Finally back where it belonged.

Thranduil was in a total state of euphoria. After so long in such a dark place Thranduil never thought he would resurface. But in the space of one minute he was hauled out of the pit thrown back into the light.

He let out a bewildered laugh, his body too overcome with emotions he never thought he would feel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally made it!  
> I've been wanting to write this chapter from the very beginning. I hope I managed to do it justice, Though it it 2am so I may return to this in the morning and find it riddled with mistakes. 
> 
> lain od thlingril- free from spiders  
> Melamin- My love


End file.
